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alpha asshole cock carousel alpha males entitled babies evil sexy ladies men who should not ever be with women ever misogyny that 80%/20% bullshit

Is this buxom fictional slattern the very first rider of the infamous “cock carousel?”

I’m not sure I want to know what a broken cock carousel looks like

By David Futrelle

For years I’ve been chronicling the manosphere’s obsession with the so-called “cock carousel,” that wondrous merry-go-round of endless zipless sex allegedly enjoyed by every twentysomething Western woman, but off-limits to all Western men except the Chadliest top twenty percent.

Well, it looks like I’ve finally found the first rider of this sex-go-round, and she’s a bosomy fictional slattern named Elaine, brought to life in the 1963 pulp novel This is Elaine by someone called Jason Hytes. If the front cover is any indication, Elaine was not really that into shirts.

I have not read the book — which you can purchase used for $28.50 on Amazon — but the back cover gives a bit more detail on the perverse world of Elaine and her naughty friends.

Wait, wouldn’t the carousel have to still be working for anyone to get off?

H/T — @pulplibrarian, whose tweet was pointed out to me by former regular WHTM commenter @pecunium; I found the back cover on Pop Sensation.

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Steampunked
Steampunked
7 years ago

Maybe the Eastport economy needed an entertainment industry?

Mish of the Catlady Ascendancy
Mish of the Catlady Ascendancy
7 years ago

My students informed me yesterday of a woman who recently married a theme park ride. Now I understand.
Then again, they also told me it was illegal to carry more than 50kg of potatoes in Western Australia, so…

Axecalibur: Middle Name Danger
Axecalibur: Middle Name Danger
7 years ago

So, on the back cover synopsis, ‘the wrong hands’ means ‘feeemale hands’, right? At least indirectly. I dunno, haven’t read it, but that’s what it seems like

Also, what the fuck happened to the Looney Toons theme towards the end? I don’t like this Bill Lava guy…

Alan Robertshaw
Alan Robertshaw
7 years ago

@ mish

My students informed me yesterday of a woman who recently married a theme park

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Object_sexuality

I’ll have to conduct further research into the potato thing.

Dalillama: Irate Social Engineer

@Mish

Then again, they also told me it was illegal to carry more than 50kg of potatoes in Western Australia, so…

Apparently this is actually true, due to lingering price controls from the 40s.

@Buttercup

Are there other rides besides the merry go round? Is there a Tilt a Whirl?

I have an image of a very adult theme park now. I’ve worked out a price for a cock carousel, now I just need to figure some other rides…

Dormousing_it
Dormousing_it
7 years ago

Is this trashy novel really set in Eastport, Maine? That’s truly, incongruously, weird.

MissEB47 (Resident Rainbow Lorikeet and Beak Typist)
MissEB47 (Resident Rainbow Lorikeet and Beak Typist)
7 years ago

Sinkable John -“This reads like MGTOW pulp.”

Agreed. I thought it was until I realised it was an actual book written in the 1960s. Maybe Jason Hytes was a MGTOW?

MissEB47 (Resident Rainbow Lorikeet and Beak Typist)
MissEB47 (Resident Rainbow Lorikeet and Beak Typist)
7 years ago

This book sounds like a load of crap. The only reason I am remotely interested in reading this is because I share a name with the main character. Yep, my name is Elaine.

CS
CS
7 years ago

This honestly reminds me of an early version of the “wild teen party” trope. You know, the parties you always see on movies and TV shows, full of early-twenties “teenagers” played by attractive aspiring actors, where everyone is always dancing and drinking and there’s an unspoken waiting list of people slipping off to have sex in an upstairs bedroom. Everyone knew teens were having these parties–even though most people hadn’t been to one and didn’t know anyone who had–because the media told them so.

I actually went to a few parties in university, and there was drinking, but it was mostly talking, eating, playing board or card games, and the sexiest it got was established couples cuddling and a few drunks wanting to hug everyone goodbye. Maybe I just went to the boring parties, but I doubt *all* the other parties were massive rave-orgies. Feel free to correct me if I’m wrong.

It’s always “everyone knows” a vague group of “those people” who are having lots of sex, and everyone knows someone who knows someone who’s been involved in some hilarious hijinks like on TV…that they copied from TV, and everyone knows…

And because the media tell us other people are having all this fun that we’re never included in, it makes those people who believe everything they see on TV very, very jealous: why can’t *we* get entrance into the top-secret special sex-clubhouse? Of course it exists–you just want to keep us out!

Troubelle: Moonbeam Malcontent + Bard of the New Movement
Troubelle: Moonbeam Malcontent + Bard of the New Movement
7 years ago

I have yet to watch Who Framed Roger Rabbit? Though I have seen a pretty neat post proposing that Jessica Rabbit may be ace.

Policy of Madness
Policy of Madness
7 years ago

Why are we singling out Elaine? The back cover says clearly that there are 4 ladies and some unspecified number of men involved. Why Elaine specifically?

Inquiring minds want to know.

Axecalibur: Middle Name Danger
Axecalibur: Middle Name Danger
7 years ago

@PoM

Why are we singling out Elaine? The back cover says clearly that there are 4 ladies and some unspecified number of men involved. Why Elaine specifically?

We’re singling out Elaine, cos it’s the book’s title. The author is singling out Elaine, probably cos she’s the insert for his mom/high school crush/(ex) wife. Probably…

Policy of Madness
Policy of Madness
7 years ago

The author is singling out Elaine

Well, yeah, that’s what I meant. When I say “why are we doing this” I mean “why is the author doing this.”

… what? It makes perfect sense in my head.

Buttercup Q. Skullpants
Buttercup Q. Skullpants
7 years ago

I live in Maine, and this is extra hilarious because Eastport’s major industry is canning sardines.

Or was, since the last plant closed in 2010. All the newspapers blamed overfishing and automation, but I think we know what really happened. Elaine’s nimble hands, clipping the heads and tails off herring and packing them in oil, again and again…How could the perverts be expected to contain themselves?

Axecalibur: Middle Name Danger
Axecalibur: Middle Name Danger
7 years ago

@PoM
Yeah, I figured. ‘We’ can totes be used as a derisive ‘you’. I’m just an insufferable pedant and couldn’t resist ?

PeeVee the (Perpetually Ignored, Invisible but Noice) Sarcastic
PeeVee the (Perpetually Ignored, Invisible but Noice) Sarcastic
7 years ago

*Pokes head in thread*

I just wanted to pop in here to express how deeply I love the word “slattern”.

*Continues on her merry way*

ChimericMind
ChimericMind
7 years ago

Because of the sudden topic swerve between Mish’s first and second sentences, I thought that it was illegal to MARRY more than 50 lbs. of potatoes, which seemed like an extra-bizarre law. Less than 50 is okay, but more than 50 is terrible?

Axecalibur: Middle Name Danger
Axecalibur: Middle Name Danger
7 years ago

@Troubelle
I haven’t seen it either. Link to the post? I promise I’ll only read it after I watch the movie 🙂

weirwoodtreehugger: chief manatee

Are there other rides besides the merry go round? Is there a Tilt a Whirl?

I have an image of a very adult theme park now. I’ve worked out a price for a cock carousel, now I just need to figure some other rides…

Boner coaster

Tit-a-whirl

Bump and grind cars

Bina
Bina
7 years ago

(smacks forehead)

Suddenly, it all makes sense. Their entire worldview…is based on TRASHY FICTION! All this time, I was thinking they were watching too many bad rom-coms, and it turns out that they were just reading too much bad erotica.

(And 60-to-80-year-old men’s pulp mags, too…which I’m sure overlap with this category considerably.)

mz emoji riesling
mz emoji riesling
7 years ago

I live in Maine, and this is extra hilarious because Eastport’s major industry is canning sardines.

Or was, since the last plant closed in 2010. All the newspapers blamed overfishing and automation, but I think we know what really happened. Elaine’s nimble hands, clipping the heads and tails off herring and packing them in oil, again and again…How could the perverts be expected to contain themselves?

So, is their plan to decay for a couple of decades, then open an aquarium, ala Monterey, California? Of course in Monterey they make much of Steinbeck, does Eastport have any other literary grandeur than Elaine?

numerobis
numerobis
7 years ago

The 50 kg of potato is interesting.

Incidentally, I tested the idea of shipping root stock by boat to Iqaluit.

Beets did great, one rotted but the rest are good.

Onions did ok, many need some peeling and some were dead but most are fine.

Potato: I don’t remember doing this but putting an impermeable layer below them was a brilliant move, as they all liquefied.

Safe to say I won’t be shipping more than 50 kg of potato to Iqaluit ever.

PeeVee the (Perpetually Ignored, Invisible but Noice) Sarcastic
PeeVee the (Perpetually Ignored, Invisible but Noice) Sarcastic
7 years ago

does Eastport have any other literary grandeur than Elaine?

Well, yeah, Eastport also has Betty, Ruth, and Marjorie.

Troubelle: Moonbeam Malcontent + Bard of the New Movement
Troubelle: Moonbeam Malcontent + Bard of the New Movement
7 years ago

@Axe

Sadly, I do not have immediate access to the post.

weirwoodtreehugger: chief manatee

It’s Maine. There’s gotta be a reference to Eastport in a Stephen King story somewhere.