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alpha asshole cock carousel alpha males entitled babies evil sexy ladies men who should not ever be with women ever misogyny that 80%/20% bullshit

Is this buxom fictional slattern the very first rider of the infamous “cock carousel?”

I’m not sure I want to know what a broken cock carousel looks like

By David Futrelle

For years I’ve been chronicling the manosphere’s obsession with the so-called “cock carousel,” that wondrous merry-go-round of endless zipless sex allegedly enjoyed by every twentysomething Western woman, but off-limits to all Western men except the Chadliest top twenty percent.

Well, it looks like I’ve finally found the first rider of this sex-go-round, and she’s a bosomy fictional slattern named Elaine, brought to life in the 1963 pulp novel This is Elaine by someone called Jason Hytes. If the front cover is any indication, Elaine was not really that into shirts.

I have not read the book — which you can purchase used for $28.50 on Amazon — but the back cover gives a bit more detail on the perverse world of Elaine and her naughty friends.

Wait, wouldn’t the carousel have to still be working for anyone to get off?

H/T — @pulplibrarian, whose tweet was pointed out to me by former regular WHTM commenter @pecunium; I found the back cover on Pop Sensation.

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Gaebolga
Gaebolga
3 years ago

I also shudder to think what cock-carousel repair would entail….

Alan Robertshaw
Alan Robertshaw
3 years ago

Every now and then I have to write little company biographies for when they’re raising finance. I’m so tempted to steal that back cover blurb.

(HSBC would probably give a AAA rating for that)

Bobbie LobBomb
Bobbie LobBomb
3 years ago

The Merry Go Round Broke Down? As in the Warner Bros. cartoon theme performed by Roger Rabbit here?

DISTURBING.

Violet the Vile, Wielder of an Ideologically Weaponized Vagina
Violet the Vile, Wielder of an Ideologically Weaponized Vagina
3 years ago

Where were all these guys when I was a lonely and horny 20-something, then? Or when I was 30? Or now I’m 40?

*has a sad*

Bobbie LobBomb
Bobbie LobBomb
3 years ago

@Violet the Vile, Wielder of an Ideologically Weaponized Vagina

They were cryogenicly frozen by Jerry Falwell in 1982, and are said to be kept in a bunker beneath the Mojave Desert. True story.

weirwoodtreehugger: chief manatee

Every time someone goes on about wanton behavior, I just get hungry for cream cheese wontons.

Moggie
Moggie
3 years ago

Yeah, this is one of the few times you can say “Looney Tunes” without breaking the comments policy:

Citizen Rat
Citizen Rat
3 years ago

*Judge Doom voice* One of these days you’re gonna DIE LAUGHING!!

Who Framed Roger Rabbit is one of my favorite movies. I can trace my love of Noir back to it.

Buttercup Q. Skullpants
Buttercup Q. Skullpants
3 years ago

Are there other rides besides the merry go round? Is there a Tilt a Whirl?

Moggie
Moggie
3 years ago

Cock dodgems?

dreemr
dreemr
3 years ago

Well, it even says “No one got off”.

Moggie
Moggie
3 years ago

Incidentally, good job on using the word “slattern”. It’s a find old word you just don’t see enough these days.

Bluecollarnerd
Bluecollarnerd
3 years ago

No kindle version? Boooo!

dcfcfan1
dcfcfan1
3 years ago

Women should be able to have sex with who they want, when and where (not in public though haha) without being shamed

bluecat
bluecat
3 years ago

That’s one hell of an amusement park.

I’d be in the pedalos of too-tired-for-sex myself.

Sinkable John : Pansy Ass Pinko, Regicidal Beast-of-Burden
Sinkable John : Pansy Ass Pinko, Regicidal Beast-of-Burden
3 years ago

This reads like MGTOW pulp.

TheKND
TheKND
3 years ago

Speaking as someone who writes erotica for fun, this looks TERRIBLE!
You can’t just say “sex” and “perverts” in the open. You have to be subtle and seductive. Call it “carousel of delights”, staffed by the “most decadent connoisseurs of delight”. (I never claimed I wrote good erotica)

dcfcfan1
dcfcfan1
3 years ago

John

Problem with MGTOW isnt the principle (Giving up on women and going your own way), its the women shaming and the amount of fucktard misognistic men who are in this group

Sinkable John : Pansy Ass Pinko, Regicidal Beast-of-Burden
Sinkable John : Pansy Ass Pinko, Regicidal Beast-of-Burden
3 years ago

To clarify (sorry, I’m… medicated – takes me a while to form thoughts properly) :

It reads like a MGTOW screed given pulp form, where WIMMINZ bring about the fall of civilization, or in this case just a whole darn town.

Victorious Parasol
Victorious Parasol
3 years ago

Sooooooooo … this Cockcarouselville is managed by men, but it’s the women who are to blame?

Yep, sounds like MGTOW drool, all right.

Talonknife
Talonknife
3 years ago

@weirwoodtreehugger: chief manatee

TBH, Wonton Behavior sounds like an awesome name for a Chinese restaurant.

Kat, ambassador of the feminist government in exile
Kat, ambassador of the feminist government in exile
3 years ago

@Buttercup Q. Skullpants

Are there other rides besides the merry go round? Is there a Tilt a Whirl?

Bumper cars seem to reflect my relationships, romantic and otherwise. As the driver of a (tiny, outdated, possibly made in a former Soviet Union bloc country) car, I’m forced to move in circles. Every few seconds another driver (paramour/friend/colleague/acquaintance
/stranger) smashes into me. C’est la vie.

Alan Robertshaw
Alan Robertshaw
3 years ago

Are there other rides besides the merry go round? Is there a Tilt a Whirl?

For the nice guys ™ there’s a Tunnel of ‘I see us more as friends’.

Kat, ambassador of the feminist government in exile
Kat, ambassador of the feminist government in exile
3 years ago

Poor Elaine! She had sex and then she turned 40. That’s what wanton behavior will do to you! But only if you’re a woman.

If you’re a man, you — uh — yeah, you’ll turn 40, but — oh, I know — it won’t mean the same thing! It’ll be a distinguished kind of 40 with all kinds of power and stuff, not the pathetic kind of 40 Elaine is suffering. And all because she had sex.

Oh wait. If she were a virgin who turned 40 she’d be pathetic too.

Okay, if she were a wife who wasn’t a virgin and she turned 40 — she’s done everything that society and her mother and her minister and her husband told her to — then she’d be pathetic too.

Okay, wait.

Elaine. Sex. 40. It’s just all bad.

Random guy. Sex. 40. It’s great. Except pathetic losers like Elaine’s younger sisters — feminists — keep trying to tear you down.

So you’re a winner — except you’re told you’re not. Unfair!

Subtract Hominem, the Renegade Misandroid
Subtract Hominem, the Renegade Misandroid
3 years ago

I’m sure it’s the least-important thing in this post, but why set the story in Eastport of all places?

Steampunked
Steampunked
3 years ago

Maybe the Eastport economy needed an entertainment industry?

Mish of the Catlady Ascendancy
Mish of the Catlady Ascendancy
3 years ago

My students informed me yesterday of a woman who recently married a theme park ride. Now I understand.
Then again, they also told me it was illegal to carry more than 50kg of potatoes in Western Australia, so…

Axecalibur: Middle Name Danger
Axecalibur: Middle Name Danger
3 years ago

So, on the back cover synopsis, ‘the wrong hands’ means ‘feeemale hands’, right? At least indirectly. I dunno, haven’t read it, but that’s what it seems like

Also, what the fuck happened to the Looney Toons theme towards the end? I don’t like this Bill Lava guy…

Alan Robertshaw
Alan Robertshaw
3 years ago

@ mish

My students informed me yesterday of a woman who recently married a theme park

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Object_sexuality

I’ll have to conduct further research into the potato thing.

Dalillama: Irate Social Engineer

@Mish

Then again, they also told me it was illegal to carry more than 50kg of potatoes in Western Australia, so…

Apparently this is actually true, due to lingering price controls from the 40s.

@Buttercup

Are there other rides besides the merry go round? Is there a Tilt a Whirl?

I have an image of a very adult theme park now. I’ve worked out a price for a cock carousel, now I just need to figure some other rides…

Dormousing_it
Dormousing_it
3 years ago

Is this trashy novel really set in Eastport, Maine? That’s truly, incongruously, weird.

MissEB47 (Resident Rainbow Lorikeet and Beak Typist)
MissEB47 (Resident Rainbow Lorikeet and Beak Typist)
3 years ago

Sinkable John -“This reads like MGTOW pulp.”

Agreed. I thought it was until I realised it was an actual book written in the 1960s. Maybe Jason Hytes was a MGTOW?

MissEB47 (Resident Rainbow Lorikeet and Beak Typist)
MissEB47 (Resident Rainbow Lorikeet and Beak Typist)
3 years ago

This book sounds like a load of crap. The only reason I am remotely interested in reading this is because I share a name with the main character. Yep, my name is Elaine.

CS
CS
3 years ago

This honestly reminds me of an early version of the “wild teen party” trope. You know, the parties you always see on movies and TV shows, full of early-twenties “teenagers” played by attractive aspiring actors, where everyone is always dancing and drinking and there’s an unspoken waiting list of people slipping off to have sex in an upstairs bedroom. Everyone knew teens were having these parties–even though most people hadn’t been to one and didn’t know anyone who had–because the media told them so.

I actually went to a few parties in university, and there was drinking, but it was mostly talking, eating, playing board or card games, and the sexiest it got was established couples cuddling and a few drunks wanting to hug everyone goodbye. Maybe I just went to the boring parties, but I doubt *all* the other parties were massive rave-orgies. Feel free to correct me if I’m wrong.

It’s always “everyone knows” a vague group of “those people” who are having lots of sex, and everyone knows someone who knows someone who’s been involved in some hilarious hijinks like on TV…that they copied from TV, and everyone knows…

And because the media tell us other people are having all this fun that we’re never included in, it makes those people who believe everything they see on TV very, very jealous: why can’t *we* get entrance into the top-secret special sex-clubhouse? Of course it exists–you just want to keep us out!

Troubelle: Moonbeam Malcontent + Bard of the New Movement
Troubelle: Moonbeam Malcontent + Bard of the New Movement
3 years ago

I have yet to watch Who Framed Roger Rabbit? Though I have seen a pretty neat post proposing that Jessica Rabbit may be ace.

Policy of Madness
Policy of Madness
3 years ago

Why are we singling out Elaine? The back cover says clearly that there are 4 ladies and some unspecified number of men involved. Why Elaine specifically?

Inquiring minds want to know.

Axecalibur: Middle Name Danger
Axecalibur: Middle Name Danger
3 years ago

@PoM

Why are we singling out Elaine? The back cover says clearly that there are 4 ladies and some unspecified number of men involved. Why Elaine specifically?

We’re singling out Elaine, cos it’s the book’s title. The author is singling out Elaine, probably cos she’s the insert for his mom/high school crush/(ex) wife. Probably…

Policy of Madness
Policy of Madness
3 years ago

The author is singling out Elaine

Well, yeah, that’s what I meant. When I say “why are we doing this” I mean “why is the author doing this.”

… what? It makes perfect sense in my head.

Buttercup Q. Skullpants
Buttercup Q. Skullpants
3 years ago

I live in Maine, and this is extra hilarious because Eastport’s major industry is canning sardines.

Or was, since the last plant closed in 2010. All the newspapers blamed overfishing and automation, but I think we know what really happened. Elaine’s nimble hands, clipping the heads and tails off herring and packing them in oil, again and again…How could the perverts be expected to contain themselves?

Axecalibur: Middle Name Danger
Axecalibur: Middle Name Danger
3 years ago

@PoM
Yeah, I figured. ‘We’ can totes be used as a derisive ‘you’. I’m just an insufferable pedant and couldn’t resist 😛

PeeVee the (Perpetually Ignored, Invisible but Noice) Sarcastic
PeeVee the (Perpetually Ignored, Invisible but Noice) Sarcastic
3 years ago

*Pokes head in thread*

I just wanted to pop in here to express how deeply I love the word “slattern”.

*Continues on her merry way*

ChimericMind
ChimericMind
3 years ago

Because of the sudden topic swerve between Mish’s first and second sentences, I thought that it was illegal to MARRY more than 50 lbs. of potatoes, which seemed like an extra-bizarre law. Less than 50 is okay, but more than 50 is terrible?

Axecalibur: Middle Name Danger
Axecalibur: Middle Name Danger
3 years ago

@Troubelle
I haven’t seen it either. Link to the post? I promise I’ll only read it after I watch the movie 🙂

weirwoodtreehugger: chief manatee

Are there other rides besides the merry go round? Is there a Tilt a Whirl?

I have an image of a very adult theme park now. I’ve worked out a price for a cock carousel, now I just need to figure some other rides…

Boner coaster

Tit-a-whirl

Bump and grind cars

Bina
3 years ago

(smacks forehead)

Suddenly, it all makes sense. Their entire worldview…is based on TRASHY FICTION! All this time, I was thinking they were watching too many bad rom-coms, and it turns out that they were just reading too much bad erotica.

(And 60-to-80-year-old men’s pulp mags, too…which I’m sure overlap with this category considerably.)

mz emoji riesling
mz emoji riesling
3 years ago

I live in Maine, and this is extra hilarious because Eastport’s major industry is canning sardines.

Or was, since the last plant closed in 2010. All the newspapers blamed overfishing and automation, but I think we know what really happened. Elaine’s nimble hands, clipping the heads and tails off herring and packing them in oil, again and again…How could the perverts be expected to contain themselves?

So, is their plan to decay for a couple of decades, then open an aquarium, ala Monterey, California? Of course in Monterey they make much of Steinbeck, does Eastport have any other literary grandeur than Elaine?

numerobis
numerobis
3 years ago

The 50 kg of potato is interesting.

Incidentally, I tested the idea of shipping root stock by boat to Iqaluit.

Beets did great, one rotted but the rest are good.

Onions did ok, many need some peeling and some were dead but most are fine.

Potato: I don’t remember doing this but putting an impermeable layer below them was a brilliant move, as they all liquefied.

Safe to say I won’t be shipping more than 50 kg of potato to Iqaluit ever.

PeeVee the (Perpetually Ignored, Invisible but Noice) Sarcastic
PeeVee the (Perpetually Ignored, Invisible but Noice) Sarcastic
3 years ago

does Eastport have any other literary grandeur than Elaine?

Well, yeah, Eastport also has Betty, Ruth, and Marjorie.

Troubelle: Moonbeam Malcontent + Bard of the New Movement
Troubelle: Moonbeam Malcontent + Bard of the New Movement
3 years ago

@Axe

Sadly, I do not have immediate access to the post.

weirwoodtreehugger: chief manatee

It’s Maine. There’s gotta be a reference to Eastport in a Stephen King story somewhere.

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