By David Futrelle
The “Incel” cult not only encourages so-called “involuntarily celibate” men to hate and blame women; it also teaches these men to hate themselves, obsessing endlessly over alleged physical flaws and other imaginary impediments that they think make them undateable and fundamentally unlovable.
One of the most insidious ways in which the Incel cult harms those in it is by discouraging clearly depressed men from seeking the psychological and psychiatric help it is clear so many of them desperately need.
Some incels dismiss therapy and medication as frauds, convinced that nothing will work for them. This is self-defeating but at least understandable. Therapy is hard work, and meds. while generally effective in helping most people, aren’t a panacea, and when you’re deeply depressed it’s hard to believe anything will help.
But there are plenty of incels who reject therapy and meds not because they think they won’t work, but because they’re afraid they will. These deeply miserable men don’t want to be cured of their misery because they don’t believe they deserve to be happy. Or even to live.
In a recent post on the Incels subreddit, someone calling himself StarvedOfHumanTouch argues bluntly that “[t]reating incels for depression should be illegal.”
“Some anti depressants and anti psychotics are too fucking effective,” he writes.
They have the ability to turn even the most suicidally depressed men into tax contributing good goys.
So far, if we ignore the not-too-subtle hint of anti-Semitism at the end there, StarvedOfHumanTouch is rehashing an old and silly argument put forth by some social critics who wrongly think that antidepressants turn everyone into “shiny happy” conformists. But his argument quickly gets much darker.
Depression like all other state of minds has a purpose. It is meant to hurt, weaken, and ultimately kill you. Trimming the fat from society so to speak. It is in the benefit of all to let the weak and disabled die off.
He’s including himself in this group.
So why keep us around? Is it compassion? Sadism? Or are we just a buffer to keep around to take the blow when shit hits the fan in society every other decade?
As far as I can figure out the logic here, StarvedOfHumanTouch apparently think that “normies” conspire to keep incels and other alleged “undesirables” around as, I guess, designated sufferers when crises roll around. It doesn’t make much sense to me either.
But StarvedOfHumanTouch’s fellow incels seem to have little trouble understanding what he’s getting at.
“[W]e subhumans exist so chads and staceys can feel better about themselves that they arent subhuman like us,” writes PM_ME_STRIPPERS.
“Yes, and conning them into “therapy” should also be a stoneable offense,” adds Thizizwhyimincel,” whose flair for the subreddit suggests that his “[m]other deserves to be raped by ISIS.”
Any normie, or whore, who recommends therapy for an incel, is intentionally trying to steal money from an inferior man. They absolutely deserve the rope for even suggesting this.
3K-caloriespurple-pilled non-incel is of the opinion that”letting people suffer is [un]acceptable.” But instead of suggesting that sufferers get treatment to ease their suffering, he thinks that “euthanasia should be legalized for people with severe depression or mental issues.”
As someone who has struggled with depression for decades now, I can tell you that this sort of bullshit is the last thing any depressed person needs to hear. Treatment is available; meds help. Incel is, as I’ve said many times before, poison. It makes everyone it touches worse off. It’s suicide fuel.
I’m seeing lots of “sorry you were offended” notpologies and still smelling sock odors all over this thread.
CLUUUEEEEE!
Gods above, that’s such a wonderful movie (I’m not 100% of a fan of the way they treat the one homosexual character, but the humor and pacing is great). I recently watched it with Jackie, who had never seen it.
WWTH: Afroaway, perhaps?
@dcf
…
Of course right after I say that I neither forgive or forget, someone comes along demanding I prove that. Fuck the fuck off, you bastard. You don’t deserve anyone as good as me on my good days.
What did I literally just say was NOT AN APOLOGY? No reason for me to stop considering you a deserving target of whatever wrath I can spare at the moment, then. Fuck off.
@Axecalibur
Really nice talking with you too 🙂
@Kupo
Hell yes to that. I didn’t ask to be autistic. It’s nobody’s fault. It’s not even a problem. It’s just a difference neurotypicals make a point of disrespecting.
Boosting this because it’s 100% right.
@Paradoxical
I love that movie so much omg. I like the multiple endings, the pacing, the jokes, I used to watch it several times a day just cause. Tim Curry’s a real treat in it. How they treat Mr. Green is kinda bad and I don’t really have a defense for that.
I also genuinely like Shock Treatment, although I can see why a lot of folks don’t.
Peevee,
That’s what I posited earlier in the thread. He did say that he kept posting here for the attention and like MRAL before him, had to ask for a ban. I was pretty sure he’d wind up socking sooner or later.
The “I’m not an angry misogynist but …” and then proceeding to make everything about his sad boner and ugliness seems pretty similar to me.
Then again, the dudes who come on here to wank about their loneliness or awkwardness all sound the same.
Misoginist is someone who hates women and blames all their problems on women. Where have you seen me do that?
Im not lonly by the way, I have plenty of friends , as I am only young at the age of 23. There will become a time where everyone will get married or engaged, which means I will have more time to myself (age 27-28 Id imagine|), which I will embrace
And sandra, that came out wrong, I wasnt talking about dating you. And Kupo, facts are facts. Im good at some things, not good at others (Dating). Thats the way of life
You may not be at the horror levels of the people mocked on this site. But you’ve talked about women like we’re interchangeable and there to validate men and you’re constantly bringing every damn thing back to your supposed ugliness. It kind of seems like you’re out to use this place as some sort of free therapy or something.
Therapy for what? Not being able to get a date…pur-leaseeeee
There are plenty of people out there with depression, PST, Bipolar issues, traumatic childhood who actually NEED therapy
Yes. We’re all very impressed that you deal with not being able to get dates so well. It’s not like you even bring it up eleven billion times a day. Here’s a cookie
http://static.tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pub/images/3455427220_8814c9f421_m_3750.jpg
In addition to what WWTH said, you’re blaming your lack of dates on your physical appearance, which is both a way of deflecting from having to introspect and find which flaws might be driving people away, but also of shifting the blame onto women for not being attracted to you. You’re not actually acknowledging that it’s your problem like you claim, but blaming it on something you have no control over.
dcfcfan1:
You are missing something important here and you are young so that is OK, but I think you have a lot to learn about what is being said about you calling the incels ugly. Yes, using ugly as an insult is hurtful but it isn’t just about that. You could have used the word ‘fat’ and people will still be angry. Just about ANY word can be turned into an insult depending on culture and context.
Generally *here* (but also IRL for most of the people who like this blog) we try to reject judging people on their appearance and equating value and worth with it. We do not want to decide how we feel about anyone based on anything but their character. So YOUR appearance MY appearance, and anyone else’s is irrelevant.
We don’t not CARE what the incels LOOK like. What makes us angry/ sad/ exasperated is their adherence to vicious and dangerous attitudes and ideas. This goes for anyone else. This is why people will not agree with you and say it is OK.
And yes, ugly is a completely subjective word. Someone mentioned Richard Boone earlier, calling him ‘objectively ugly’. As a younger man he actually fulfils traditional criteria for being a ‘handsome’ man (imo!)! But again, that is really not the point. Not one of us will totally agree about what someone’s physical appearance is, meaning that it can NEVER be objective.
Edit: I have just seen you are 23 – so not as young as you come across. Maybe read more and blab less?
WWTH, oh, I missed that, sorry!
In any case, dcfcfan1and his need for attention is grating on my nerves, and your cookie looks delish, so I’m off to the bakery.
TL;DR: Therapy doesn’t fix most “incels”, it just sedates them. Quite a lot of them end up committing suicide or worse.
Therapy doesn’t work for a lot of people because most of it is based on either (1) missing (or insufficient) chemicals (good therapy) or (2) sedation (not so good therapy).
Sedation will help some become *tolerable* to be around but it won’t fix their *actual* problem.
Many women won’t admit to this out of politeness or because they don’t realize but, in fact, whatever it is a lot of these “incel” men suffer from makes women instinctively *scared* of them.
The increasing number of “incel” men should worry us all.
It might be one of nature’s ways of population control or something else.
In time, we may see a large number of “incel” women as well.
mmmmmm that cookie 🙂
And KUPO, I dont make fucking excuses. End of the day Im not good enough. No moaning, whinging or begging for pity. I move on. I certainly do not blame women.
I have had friends who act like “nice guys” and show their true colours when they get rejected. I had to weed them out over the last few years
Ellesar, thanks for your post, I have understood this community a lot more reading this and I will respect the rules
@Chris
Why, because they’re going to snap and kill us if they don’t get what they want? That sounds like a familiar strategy, who else makes threats like that? Who could it be?……..
There’s probably a good number of “incel” women already, maybe even a comparable number to that of men. But society doesn’t tell women they deserve a hot guy just because, so we don’t complain about it as much.
Chris,
I must’ve missed the psych research suggesting that incel is a medical condition. Care to cite?
DCFC,
You’re being creepy.
@WWTH
Wasn’t he always being creepy, when he wasn’t being misogynistic, rude, and entitled?
Yeah, but the smiley emoji in response to my obviously sarcastic post adds extra squick.
Wow, suggesting that his attempt to blame his lack of success on his physical appearance seems to have touched a nerve. Sorry, doll, but facts are facts, and saying you’re unsuccessful in dating because of your appearance is an excuse.
Perhaps this will help you understand why the claim of “I’m too ugly to date” sets our teeth on edge.
Lots of people who are conventionally ugly get dates, get married, have kids, etc. Lots of people who are conventionally attractive don’t get dates, get married, have kids, etc. I have a friend who is not at all conventionally attractive; she’s been described as ugly (by terrible people, each and every one of them). She’s a sweetheart and has three wonderful children.
In parallel, the “I’m too ugly to get a date” theme is common with MGTOW. It turns out that many of them aren’t unattractive – many of them look incredibly average, as I’ve seen. On the other hand, they’re incredibly picky about women’s looks, and refuse to consider dating anyone beneath their ridiculous standards.
Almost like they’re scared of rejection and failure, and have set up as many excuses as possible to let them avoid trying. Their desire to date twists into anger at rejections they set up for themselves. “I’m too ugly” “She’s too ugly” “Women are sluts these days” “Women are just gold-diggers.” They’re all just excuses to avoid doing the hard work of figuring themselves out.
You don’t have to date, you don’t have to do any of that. Society pushes us all to get married and have kids, but you really don’t have to. If that’s your preference, that’s great! But if you do want to date, have relationships, etc, being conventionally ugly is no barrier! You can do it! You just have to overcome those things inside of you that are keeping you back. Identify them, beat them or turn them to useful purposes, and get out there.
You can do it!
Thanks to the poster above, but to be honest I have killed off my desire to date and be with someone. And Kupo, we will just have to agree to disagree. I aint ever going on a date or getting laid. Its me, and my path is set. Ive learned to embrace it. Hardest part will be getting my closest friends and family to accept that when the inevitable questions come out when In closer to 30. Thats my barrier now.
And I understand that rejection is natural and I recommend every guy to get out there at the age of 19/20 and try to get a date. Why? Because you learn two things if anything. To get out your comfort zone and to learn to handle rejection with dignity. Key to be successful in life. I have asked lots if girls out, made lots of female friends (still have some of them) and been on 4 dating sites for 2 years. It hasnt worked out.
I dont regret trying, because its made me a better person. Rejection has made me stronger, made me not take criticism personally and its made me more mature. However, towards the end, I started to obsess over “getting a date” and started to feel like a failure. Now I know that ISNT HEALTHY. So it had to stop. It was like I was trying too hard because I was scared of not getting married or never getting intimate. Now Ive embraced it. Im travelling, reading, graduated with a 1st class degree, Im enjoying life more.
Best of luck to the people who have managed to find someone, but for me, my path is set.
I think to label me as “creepy” is unfair. But do what suits you I guess. And those MGTOW quotations from the poster above is an absolute disgrace, They need educating.
http://68.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lnczaesgrn1qhmr8mo1_500.gif
Sorry, but I don’t agree to disagree on topics that have been thoroughly studied. There are multiple facets to attraction and physical appearance is just one of them. It will never be the sole factor in someone else deciding whether to date you. I reject your proposal and do not agree to disagree. I will continue to point out the wrongness of statements regardless of whether that is uncomfortable for you. Sometimes the truth is uncomfortable.
Fair enough Kupo but there is nothing left for me to say with regards to me and dating. It hasnt and wont work. To no fault of women as well (for the 10000th time). Im just not good enough and made to date I guess. The end
dc tried really damned hard to make this thread all about himself and has finally succeeded.
Dude, stfu for a while, and when you post again, do it about something other than yourself. I realize that you’re the protagonist in your own story, but you’re not the protagonist in our stories, and we don’t care about you as much as you assume.
You want to think that you’re super-evolved in having made peace with your datelessness, but the fact that you talk about it con-stant-ly tells me that you’re actually not over it at all and you haven’t made peace with it even slightly. That’s for you to work on, yourself, somewhere outside this forum. We don’t care about your attitude toward dating. We just don’t. So fucking shut up about it.