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A temporary period of darkness: Today in Tweets

Trump trying to look up the eclipse’s skirt

By David Futrelle

Today The United States was plunged into darkness, literally, and it was a welcome relief from the more lasting metaphorical darkness that overcame the country early last November.

Oh, and our misbegotten president took off his special glasses and stared directly at the eclipse. Because of course he did. Also, he’s bankrupting the Secret Service. More on that in a second. Bur first:

https://twitter.com/cafedotcom/status/899762896216838144

The most pointed eclipse tweet came from none other than Madeleine Albright:

But this was my favorite:

https://twitter.com/KFILE/status/899691202760638464

In other news:

https://twitter.com/TeeCee_85/status/899248164892495873

https://twitter.com/historyinflicks/status/899035112951738369

https://twitter.com/danharmon/status/899412825063292928

And now the cute animals:

https://twitter.com/_youhadonejob1/status/899370200033873925

https://twitter.com/Otter_News/status/899345632326021120

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Weird (thumper of trumpanzees) Eddie
Weird (thumper of trumpanzees) Eddie
3 years ago

I hope I’m not first again, you guys will think this is all I do

Weird (thumper of trumpanzees) Eddie
Weird (thumper of trumpanzees) Eddie
3 years ago

From St. Jo, Mo., the ECLIPSE CENTRAL of the known UNIVERSE…

clouds and rain through the whole thing….

I got some of those fake eclipse glasses… I didn’t see ANY eclipse 🙁

Faerie Bard
Faerie Bard
3 years ago

Of course he stared at the sun during the eclipse. Of course he did. Too many people probably told him not to, and little Donny Trumples does whatever he wants. Probably thinks all the scientific and medical advice saying not to is just “fake news!”

Now if it does negatively impact his vision, he’ll probably blame science for blinding him. There’s a whole song warning people about that, after all:

Lady_Zombie
Lady_Zombie
3 years ago

Where I live was in the path of totality. It was really something special and I’m lucky I got to see it!

Now, does anyone know what to do with interdimensional travelers? They look like us but they’re not us. Also any advice about the giant tentacles descending from the clouds? I thought they’d go back up but no. They’re just dangling and waving around and every now and then they snatch someone up. Oh, and the animals are still walking backward and water is dripping up.

numerobis
numerobis
3 years ago

the giant tentacles descending from the clouds

Call animal control, they’ll round them up.

Remember everyone, spay and neuter your giant space tentacle monsters. And don’t buy them from those monstrous monster mills — adopt one from your local humane society or SPCA shelter.

Skiriki
Skiriki
3 years ago

FYI, both PewDiePie and Assange went with “no you don’t need glasses, glasses are just a conspiracy to sell them” thing.

Axecalibur: Middle Name Danger
Axecalibur: Middle Name Danger
3 years ago

Darkness is temporary sure, but what about aggressive whiteness? Cos I’m just about done with that…

@Eddie
Being first doesn’t make me think this is all you do. Being first and second tho… 😛

I was outside during peak eclipse. Was only partial over here, didn’t have glasses anyway. Still, it was shady out at 2:30 in the afternoon. So, that was cool to see 🙂

dslucia
dslucia
3 years ago

Unfortunately there wasn’t much coverage up here in Halifax. You could see the way it changed some of the shadows, and I’m sure that looking at it through the good ol’ glasses or telescopes would’ve been great, but nothing really directly noticeable happened during.

@Lady_Zombie: I’m sorry to be the one to tell you this, but I think you might have shifted over into the dream world of Yharnam during the eclipse. At least you still have internet access!

SpukiKitty
SpukiKitty
3 years ago

Skiriki
August 21, 2017 at 8:07 pm

FYI, both PewDiePie and Assange went with “no you don’t need glasses, glasses are just a conspiracy to sell them” thing.

Now I’m envisioning those two with the Orange Horror alone in a room, bumping into each other.

I also have a hunch that Jabba’s taking all those Govt.-fund-sucking vacations on purpose….it’s his way of going F.U. for all of our successful boycotting of Trump Junk.

Now it’s affecting the folks assigned to protect him and he’s too “blind” (figuratively and now literally) to figure out how that would endanger him.

So not we have a big orange 70-year-old toddler in a poorly-fitting business suit with stupid hair bumbling around with fried eyeballs and no Secret Service protection.

Congratulations, Donald; You are a dumbass!

Taffer
Taffer
3 years ago

Look, Trump said he had great respect for the great people at the Secret Service, so he’ll get the situation sorted out in no time.

After all, he’s a great businessman and deal maker, so he’ll treat the matter as seriously as he would if it were one of his own businesses.

Its not like he has a history of screwing people out of money he owes them or anything…

Anyway, since those poor fucks won’t ever get paid again, how about we just not have any security for him anymore, but tell him he has great security, the best ever? I mean, they are called the “secret service”, shouldn’t they be more stealthy? Like ninjas. If he saw them, they wouldn’t be so secret now would they?

brian
brian
3 years ago

to quote someone who I have it on good authority (Milo) is one of the most brilliant people in the country, Trump is “like, a smart person.”
so I’m sure knows exactly what he’s doing and definitely didn’t look directly at the sun out of a petty stubbornness to not to what anyone else advises.

Lady_Zombie
Lady_Zombie
3 years ago

@Lady_Zombie: I’m sorry to be the one to tell you this, but I think you might have shifted over into the dream world of Yharnam during the eclipse. At least you still have internet access!

Oh dear. Well, that does explain a few things.

Tov01
Tov01
3 years ago

Of course he stared right into the son, the giant toddler.

We couldn’t get eclipse glasses in time, so we had to improvise.

pbs.twimg.com/media/DHxGt64VoAA80w3.jpg

pbs.twimg.com/media/DHxIaXMUQAAQ6qt.jpg

MrsObedMarsh
MrsObedMarsh
3 years ago

Jason O. Gilbert wasn’t far off the mark:

https://twitter.com/AndrewKirell/status/899799638051520512

Nikki the Bluth Wannabe
Nikki the Bluth Wannabe
3 years ago

Between everyone at my workplace we had one pair of eclipse glasses and two pinhole projectors, and some of us looked through tree branches. My area was in the 88% totality range, and I got to see it through the glasses!

PeeVee the (Perpetually Ignored, Invisible but Noice) Sarcastic
PeeVee the (Perpetually Ignored, Invisible but Noice) Sarcastic
3 years ago

I loved Albright’s Tweet. Just loved it.

epitome of incomprehensibility

Luckily, it was sunny most of the time here. At the peak, the moon covered more than half the sun and it got a bit darker.

I only had a pair of binoculars and a black paper to project the image on, but then my neighbour came by and gave us two extra pairs of eclipse glasses! It was really nice of her to think of us. (Us = 4 people: parents, me, and brother who’s here for the weekend.)

eli
eli
3 years ago

I was lucky to be able to spread a sheet on the lawn and watch the slivers of light disappear as the weather cooled and the cicadas and birds started up. As soon as the light was gone, I waited a beat, there was another flare for a second, waited another beat, another. Took off the glasses and saw the most amazing thing I have ever seen in my life, I think.

Then my neighbor started talking to me from her balcony. She was refusing to look up. I’m like, but this is the best part, this is the part where you can look up, we have 46 seconds! “I don’t want to risk it.”

I shrugged. Took another gander at the diamond ring. Just as I put my head down, the light started coming back.

Thanks for the glasses, mom. She brought two pair home and she didn’t even use hers. WTF? She stayed inside.

Redsilkphoenix: Jetpack Vixen, Agent of the FemiNest Collective; Keeper of a Hell Toupee, and all-around Intergalactic Meanie
Redsilkphoenix: Jetpack Vixen, Agent of the FemiNest Collective; Keeper of a Hell Toupee, and all-around Intergalactic Meanie
3 years ago

I went to an eclipse party my school had. I got there too late to snag some glasses, but I shared with a fellow student (who shared with a few others as well).

I managed to get some shots on my iPhone by putting the glasses over my lense. Don’t know yet if I got anything really decent yet from that. Need to see it large sized on a big screen to see. Though it was…interesting trying to take the pictures without actually looking at the sun peeking around the camera…. >.<

Also got some shots off a fellow photographer student, who used a couple of filters on his lenses to see the eclipse with. He got some nice shots with that setup.

And one of the teachers did a variation on the pinhole in a sheet of paper thing, using binoculars instead of an actual piece of paper with a hole in it. That produced an image large enough to been seen without needing a microscope.

All in all, it was a fun time.

Banananana dakry
Banananana dakry
3 years ago

We drove all the way up from SoCal to the Portland/ Vancouver WA area on vacation to see this, as well as check out the area a bit. Got up at 6 AM this morning to get to Salem and joined a kind of improv tailgate party in the mall parking lot. It was amazing and all too brief.

It was a nightmare getting back to Vancouver but at least we saw some lovely country using back roads to avoid the worst of the jams. Leaving tomorrow to start the trip home, which is a pity but OTOH I’m fighting a bug so probably need to see urgent care when I get home.

Coming back to Portland again if we have the choice though, goddamnit.

TreePerson
TreePerson
3 years ago

We got totality for 10 seconds where I am,
I only saw it for a flash since I was nervous abut eye damage but its burned into my mind.

Dalillama: Irate Social Engineer

@Banananana Dakry
Did you go by a little diner near Powell’s books? We were swamped all last week with eclipse tourists.

misophistry
misophistry
3 years ago

Saw it back in 1999. Was tripping balls at the time so it wasn’t actually the most amazing thing I saw that day…

bluecat
bluecat
3 years ago

We’re way off the path of totality here in the UK, though apparently, if it hadn’t been for the cloud cover, we might have seen a little bite out of the setting sun at about 8pm. Had we been looking, which we were not.

But I saw a total eclipse in Thailand in July 1995, near Ayutthaya, and it was extraordinary. I had glasses and a filter to look through – but had neglected to protect my ears for when all the gongs started ringing. The chilliness of the air as it grew dark was something to remember.

Trump, of course, believes he has superior eyeballs.

Policy of Madness
Policy of Madness
3 years ago

Epic road trip to Hopkinsville Kentucky yesterday. Wish I had more time to tell stories about the horrific traffic getting back but I must zoom away to work after only 3 hours sleep.

comment image

NicolaLuna
NicolaLuna
3 years ago

I think the funniest thing I’ve seen about the eclipse is a claim from a flat earth page that the glasses are a nasa hoax because the eclipse isn’t real

Alan Robertshaw
Alan Robertshaw
3 years ago

I was having a minor bit of trouble grasping why the shadow is only 70 miles wide rather than the width of the Moon. I understand it now, but at one stage we were seriously having the “this one is small, the other one is far away” conversation.

Imaginary Petal
Imaginary Petal
3 years ago

Barron looking sharp though.

Buttercup Q. Skullpants
Buttercup Q. Skullpants
3 years ago

Have they installed outlet covers in the White House?

I’m dead serious.

Ohlmann
Ohlmann
3 years ago

I hope they didn’t.

banned@4chan.org
banned@4chan.org
3 years ago

http://kotaku.com/splatoon-2s-lobby-fills-with-lgbt-pride-in-response-to-1798186002 Probably off-topic, but Miiverse posts are close enough to tweets I guess?

JS
JS
3 years ago

That’s what the recent renovation at the White House was for: Child proofing.

Gussie Jives
Gussie Jives
3 years ago

@dslucia

Unfortunately there wasn’t much coverage up here in Halifax. You could see the way it changed some of the shadows, and I’m sure that looking at it through the good ol’ glasses or telescopes would’ve been great, but nothing really directly noticeable happened during.

Toronto had no end of coverage and yet… it was only partial here too. The light changed a little bit, but yeah, kinda anticlimactic.

The hype bugged me, as hype is wont to do (blasted slow August news days). The media was going on about it like it was the next coming of Halley’s Comet. Yeah, total solar eclipses are rare and I’m sure it was neat to see for those that did, but they happen more regularly than Halley’s… so a little perspective on the part of the news media would have been appreciated.

dreemr
dreemr
3 years ago

The clouds cleared here and we were at 78% covered. We had a welding helmet and I took a brief glance – it was pretty cool.

It got darkish but the shadows were the weird thing!

I know Barron is off limits but I thought he looked cute and teenager-y. I have a soft spot for boys around the same age as my son, of course. I was disappointed to hear that some conservative sources made an issue out of how he’s dressed (too casually, I guess? I dunno). He’s a young teen and he looks appropriate to me.

Sinkable John : Pansy Ass Pinko, Regicidal Beast-of-Burden
Sinkable John : Pansy Ass Pinko, Regicidal Beast-of-Burden
3 years ago

@Lady_Zombie, dslucia

@Lady_Zombie: I’m sorry to be the one to tell you this, but I think you might have shifted over into the dream world of Yharnam during the eclipse. At least you still have internet access!

http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-Yn9101WcG_w/Ve9QL1cIxBI/AAAAAAAAJhc/pzUdL4tcxLc/s1600/1A.jpg

comment image

Just sayin’, it might not just be you.

weirwoodtreehugger: chief manatee

With the secret service not being paid, I don’t know who’s going to help Trump understand which things are safe to drink and which things are poison. Maybe Melania should get some Mr Yuck stickers to put on the cleaning supplies?

Banananana dakry
Banananana dakry
3 years ago

@ Dalillama

Sadly no. Didn’t really see much of Portland itself due to travel and the briefness of our stay here (dammit). I’ve certainly heard it’s been a Thing from our hotel receptionist though.

Going to be incommunicado for rest of day as have to drive nine hours to Sacramento and I don’t have cell. About ready to leave now but had to hit a Safeway for Mucinex. Oh yeah, guess who IS sick? 😛

We both definitely want to come back though when there is less stupid around. And when I’m making less snot. Imma miss me some moist air and greenery!

IgnoreSandra
3 years ago

I went to an eclipse party with my friends last night! We watched Little Shop of Horrors.

Whatever they offer you, don’t feed the plants. They might start singing.

JS
JS
3 years ago

I took some wonderful eclipse pictures.

Unfortunately, they all seem to be “Look! There’s a bright spot in the sky!”
Luckily, in 7 years, totality will be visible from home.

Dan Hoan
3 years ago

“FYI, both PewDiePie and Assange went with “no you don’t need glasses, glasses are just a conspiracy to sell them” thing.”

Ah those beacons of scientific thought and research! /sarcarsm

Troubelle: Moonbeam Malcontent + Bard of the New Movement
Troubelle: Moonbeam Malcontent + Bard of the New Movement
3 years ago

@banned

I actually posted a tumblr thing about that to our Discord linkdump! I like it.

Stay fresh, everyone!

Schnookums Von Ghostface Fancypants Killer
Schnookums Von Ghostface Fancypants Killer
3 years ago

“FYI, both PewDiePie and Assange went with “no you don’t need glasses, glasses are just a conspiracy to sell them” thing.”

Well, with PewDiePie I could see it as shitposting, so he could lord over all the people “stupid” enough to believe him. Assange, on the other hand…who knows? He’s just about smart enough to fool himself into thinking he isn’t stupid.

banned@4chan.org
banned@4chan.org
3 years ago

@Troubelle
We have a discord? Crap, I haven’t been paying attention.

Troubelle: Moonbeam Malcontent + Bard of the New Movement
Troubelle: Moonbeam Malcontent + Bard of the New Movement
3 years ago

@banned

Yeah! Here’s a one-day link:

https://discord.gg/tDY7k8

Dalillama runs it. Hopefully, she won’t mind me sharing…

dlouwe
dlouwe
3 years ago

We got 86% totality here in Vancouver – it was pretty neat the way it got noticeably colder outside as it happened. Nobody in my office had proper glasses, but one had some welding goggles – these were still not quite enough to get a proper look, but it was enough for a quick glance.

While outside there was someone with a pinhole projector (using a wide-angle camera lens instead of an actual pinhole) that let everyone get a good look. I also managed to grab this shot of a tree outside my office showing a whole bunch of “pinhole” projections:

http://i.imgur.com/6mmFRxa.jpg

opium4themasses
opium4themasses
3 years ago

So… I have cloud to butt plus on my chrome. It’s making this an odd thread

PaganReader - Misandrist Spinster

I missed this eclipse, but I’m in the path of totality for the 2024 eclipse.

amy
amy
3 years ago

I like the cat eclipse.

Arctic Ape
Arctic Ape
3 years ago

Alan:

I was having a minor bit of trouble grasping why the shadow is only 70 miles wide rather than the width of the Moon.

These things are nice brain exercise for those of us curious enough to ask the question in the first place.

DerangedDan
DerangedDan
3 years ago

The media was going on about it like it was the next coming of Halley’s Comet. Yeah, total solar eclipses are rare and I’m sure it was neat to see for those that did, but they happen more regularly than Halley’s… so a little perspective on the part of the news media would have been appreciated.

That drove me crazy too. This was the first total eclipse that was visible in the entire continental United States in 99 years, and the media latched onto that number hard. The problem is that they would start dropping some or all of those qualifiers while still using the 99 years number. Total eclipses in general aren’t really that rare at all; there’s one somewhere in the world every year or two.