By David Futrelle
Today The United States was plunged into darkness, literally, and it was a welcome relief from the more lasting metaphorical darkness that overcame the country early last November.
Oh, and our misbegotten president took off his special glasses and stared directly at the eclipse. Because of course he did. Also, he’s bankrupting the Secret Service. More on that in a second. Bur first:
In your FACE, science! pic.twitter.com/h4QUSVCGFu
— The Volatile Mermaid (@OhNoSheTwitnt) August 21, 2017
https://twitter.com/cafedotcom/status/899762896216838144
Trump has now wandered into the White House kitchen and is touching all of the hot stoves.
— David Futrelle (@DavidFutrelle) August 21, 2017
Preview of tonight’s Tucker Carlson pic.twitter.com/DawbInUrWl
— Jason O. Gilbert (@gilbertjasono) August 21, 2017
The most pointed eclipse tweet came from none other than Madeleine Albright:
Enjoyed watching #Eclipse2017. A great reminder that all darkness is temporary. pic.twitter.com/NlK5wTaCtr
— Madeleine Albright (@madeleine) August 21, 2017
But this was my favorite:
https://twitter.com/KFILE/status/899691202760638464
In other news:
President Trump's constant vacations are bankrupting the Secret Service pic.twitter.com/GBOGT3mlPm
— NowThis Impact (@nowthisimpact) August 21, 2017
The Secret Service has spent $60k on golf cart rentals alone — which goes into Trump's pocket. https://t.co/HqXkLt9Arw
— shauna (@goldengateblond) August 21, 2017
Sorry, kids. We have to cut your food stamps because the president can't walk during his daily adventures chasing a little ball he hits. https://t.co/YVSlFx3BW9
— L O L G O P (@LOLGOP) August 21, 2017
Tonight's pool report: Trump responded to questions about today's collision of the USS John S. McCain: "'That's too bad,' he said."
— Kyle Griffin (@kylegriffin1) August 21, 2017
"That's too bad" is something you say when you miss a putt, @POTUS. Not when you hear about missing sailors. https://t.co/MBQirXUMQy
— VoteVets (@votevets) August 21, 2017
other things Trump thinks are “too bad" pic.twitter.com/yWok7GDJzR
— Ashley Feinberg (ashleyfeinberg.bsky.social) (@ashleyfeinberg) August 21, 2017
https://twitter.com/TeeCee_85/status/899248164892495873
The Pepes have a new plan. pic.twitter.com/0e9J3nOchC
— David Futrelle (@DavidFutrelle) August 21, 2017
Ian Miles Cheong: Women expert pic.twitter.com/hqm5l4Rloc
— Wild Geerters (@steinkobbe) August 20, 2017
https://twitter.com/historyinflicks/status/899035112951738369
https://twitter.com/danharmon/status/899412825063292928
And now the cute animals:
#TrumpResign #KittenGifs pic.twitter.com/Oy9kRWWjmn
— David Futrelle (@DavidFutrelle) August 21, 2017
https://twitter.com/_youhadonejob1/status/899370200033873925
https://twitter.com/dognkitty/status/899429409567891457
https://twitter.com/Otter_News/status/899345632326021120
I hope I’m not first again, you guys will think this is all I do
From St. Jo, Mo., the ECLIPSE CENTRAL of the known UNIVERSE…
clouds and rain through the whole thing….
I got some of those fake eclipse glasses… I didn’t see ANY eclipse 🙁
Of course he stared at the sun during the eclipse. Of course he did. Too many people probably told him not to, and little Donny Trumples does whatever he wants. Probably thinks all the scientific and medical advice saying not to is just “fake news!”
Now if it does negatively impact his vision, he’ll probably blame science for blinding him. There’s a whole song warning people about that, after all:
Where I live was in the path of totality. It was really something special and I’m lucky I got to see it!
Now, does anyone know what to do with interdimensional travelers? They look like us but they’re not us. Also any advice about the giant tentacles descending from the clouds? I thought they’d go back up but no. They’re just dangling and waving around and every now and then they snatch someone up. Oh, and the animals are still walking backward and water is dripping up.
Call animal control, they’ll round them up.
Remember everyone, spay and neuter your giant space tentacle monsters. And don’t buy them from those monstrous monster mills — adopt one from your local humane society or SPCA shelter.
FYI, both PewDiePie and Assange went with “no you don’t need glasses, glasses are just a conspiracy to sell them” thing.
Darkness is temporary sure, but what about aggressive whiteness? Cos I’m just about done with that…
@Eddie
Being first doesn’t make me think this is all you do. Being first and second tho… ?
I was outside during peak eclipse. Was only partial over here, didn’t have glasses anyway. Still, it was shady out at 2:30 in the afternoon. So, that was cool to see 🙂
Unfortunately there wasn’t much coverage up here in Halifax. You could see the way it changed some of the shadows, and I’m sure that looking at it through the good ol’ glasses or telescopes would’ve been great, but nothing really directly noticeable happened during.
@Lady_Zombie: I’m sorry to be the one to tell you this, but I think you might have shifted over into the dream world of Yharnam during the eclipse. At least you still have internet access!
Now I’m envisioning those two with the Orange Horror alone in a room, bumping into each other.
I also have a hunch that Jabba’s taking all those Govt.-fund-sucking vacations on purpose….it’s his way of going F.U. for all of our successful boycotting of Trump Junk.
Now it’s affecting the folks assigned to protect him and he’s too “blind” (figuratively and now literally) to figure out how that would endanger him.
So not we have a big orange 70-year-old toddler in a poorly-fitting business suit with stupid hair bumbling around with fried eyeballs and no Secret Service protection.
Congratulations, Donald; You are a dumbass!
Look, Trump said he had great respect for the great people at the Secret Service, so he’ll get the situation sorted out in no time.
After all, he’s a great businessman and deal maker, so he’ll treat the matter as seriously as he would if it were one of his own businesses.
Its not like he has a history of screwing people out of money he owes them or anything…
Anyway, since those poor fucks won’t ever get paid again, how about we just not have any security for him anymore, but tell him he has great security, the best ever? I mean, they are called the “secret service”, shouldn’t they be more stealthy? Like ninjas. If he saw them, they wouldn’t be so secret now would they?
to quote someone who I have it on good authority (Milo) is one of the most brilliant people in the country, Trump is “like, a smart person.”
so I’m sure knows exactly what he’s doing and definitely didn’t look directly at the sun out of a petty stubbornness to not to what anyone else advises.
Oh dear. Well, that does explain a few things.
Of course he stared right into the son, the giant toddler.
We couldn’t get eclipse glasses in time, so we had to improvise.
pbs.twimg.com/media/DHxGt64VoAA80w3.jpg
pbs.twimg.com/media/DHxIaXMUQAAQ6qt.jpg
Jason O. Gilbert wasn’t far off the mark:
https://twitter.com/AndrewKirell/status/899799638051520512
Between everyone at my workplace we had one pair of eclipse glasses and two pinhole projectors, and some of us looked through tree branches. My area was in the 88% totality range, and I got to see it through the glasses!
I loved Albright’s Tweet. Just loved it.
Luckily, it was sunny most of the time here. At the peak, the moon covered more than half the sun and it got a bit darker.
I only had a pair of binoculars and a black paper to project the image on, but then my neighbour came by and gave us two extra pairs of eclipse glasses! It was really nice of her to think of us. (Us = 4 people: parents, me, and brother who’s here for the weekend.)
I was lucky to be able to spread a sheet on the lawn and watch the slivers of light disappear as the weather cooled and the cicadas and birds started up. As soon as the light was gone, I waited a beat, there was another flare for a second, waited another beat, another. Took off the glasses and saw the most amazing thing I have ever seen in my life, I think.
Then my neighbor started talking to me from her balcony. She was refusing to look up. I’m like, but this is the best part, this is the part where you can look up, we have 46 seconds! “I don’t want to risk it.”
I shrugged. Took another gander at the diamond ring. Just as I put my head down, the light started coming back.
Thanks for the glasses, mom. She brought two pair home and she didn’t even use hers. WTF? She stayed inside.
I went to an eclipse party my school had. I got there too late to snag some glasses, but I shared with a fellow student (who shared with a few others as well).
I managed to get some shots on my iPhone by putting the glasses over my lense. Don’t know yet if I got anything really decent yet from that. Need to see it large sized on a big screen to see. Though it was…interesting trying to take the pictures without actually looking at the sun peeking around the camera…. >.<
Also got some shots off a fellow photographer student, who used a couple of filters on his lenses to see the eclipse with. He got some nice shots with that setup.
And one of the teachers did a variation on the pinhole in a sheet of paper thing, using binoculars instead of an actual piece of paper with a hole in it. That produced an image large enough to been seen without needing a microscope.
All in all, it was a fun time.
We drove all the way up from SoCal to the Portland/ Vancouver WA area on vacation to see this, as well as check out the area a bit. Got up at 6 AM this morning to get to Salem and joined a kind of improv tailgate party in the mall parking lot. It was amazing and all too brief.
It was a nightmare getting back to Vancouver but at least we saw some lovely country using back roads to avoid the worst of the jams. Leaving tomorrow to start the trip home, which is a pity but OTOH I’m fighting a bug so probably need to see urgent care when I get home.
Coming back to Portland again if we have the choice though, goddamnit.
We got totality for 10 seconds where I am,
I only saw it for a flash since I was nervous abut eye damage but its burned into my mind.
@Banananana Dakry
Did you go by a little diner near Powell’s books? We were swamped all last week with eclipse tourists.
Saw it back in 1999. Was tripping balls at the time so it wasn’t actually the most amazing thing I saw that day…
We’re way off the path of totality here in the UK, though apparently, if it hadn’t been for the cloud cover, we might have seen a little bite out of the setting sun at about 8pm. Had we been looking, which we were not.
But I saw a total eclipse in Thailand in July 1995, near Ayutthaya, and it was extraordinary. I had glasses and a filter to look through – but had neglected to protect my ears for when all the gongs started ringing. The chilliness of the air as it grew dark was something to remember.
Trump, of course, believes he has superior eyeballs.
Epic road trip to Hopkinsville Kentucky yesterday. Wish I had more time to tell stories about the horrific traffic getting back but I must zoom away to work after only 3 hours sleep.