NOTE: IN THE WAKE OF TODAY’S EVENTS — A WHITE SUPREMACIST TERRORIST ATTACK ON COUNTERPROTESTERS THAT LEFT ONE DEAD — MY ORIGINAL GRAPHIC FOR THIS POST SEEMED INAPPROPRIATE SO I HAVE REMOVED IT
NOTE 2: I regret the flippant tone of this post. Last night these guys seemed like clowns and it felt good to watch them getting a thorough mocking. They still are clowns, but unfortunately clowns can do a tremendous amount of damage, as the current inhabitant of the White House reminds us every day.
My newer post on the terrorist attack is here.
By David Futrelle
On Friday night, a couple hundred Nazis and oh-I’m-not-really-a-Nazis marched through the largely empty University of Virginia campus in Charlottesville, many of them holding cintronella tiki torches aloft in what appears to have been an attempt to simultaneously fight white genocide and banish mosquitoes.
Of course, given that gender ratio was approximately 90 pasty white dudes per one Lauren Southern wannabe, it’s a safe bet that very few marchers actually “fought white genocide” after the march, if you know what I mean and I think you do.
Anyway, so they marched. And afterwards people dunked on them mercilessly on Twitter. Here are some highlights of both events.
https://twitter.com/VicBergerIV/status/896295016284520448
When we asked other #UniteTheRight attendees about their 'white genocide' claims, some of them responded violently pic.twitter.com/erxgZ3aFG1
— UNICORN RIOT (@UR_Ninja) August 12, 2017
The best part about this video? The Nazis who can’t remember which arm to “sieg heil” with. (The right arm, my dudes.)
https://twitter.com/21logician/status/896260763534360576
This white lady seems nice:
Alt right #UniteTheRight woman tells #antifa counter-protester that he "sounds like a n—–" #Charlottesville pic.twitter.com/VnTLchlXLJ
— Alex Rubinstein (@RealAlexRubi) August 12, 2017
The marchers were quite impressed with themselves:
https://twitter.com/captured_maiden/status/896213825476841472
But Tinkerbell was not exactly correct. Lots of people are laughing.
"WHERE IS THE CLITORIS?" pic.twitter.com/EZUOz4Uruv
— Jess Dweck (@TheDweck) August 12, 2017
https://twitter.com/VicBergerIV/status/896263840857554944
The white race MUST be preserved, so WOMEN… you're really gonna have to start lowering your standards.#Charlottesville pic.twitter.com/Rus7lcIktg
— Sir Woofingtons (@Sir_Woofingtons) August 12, 2017
Love waking up to a timeline full of pics of Nazis who look like they just raided a discount bin in the lawn & garden section at Home Depot.
— The Volatile Mermaid (@OhNoSheTwitnt) August 12, 2017
"Hi ladies,
My name is Brent, and I enjoy cosplaying as Marty Mcfly & sniffing your seat after you get up"#NaziTinder #Charlottesville pic.twitter.com/kCU806wnvf
— 🍉 Black 🇭🇹 Aziz 🇳🇬 aNANsi 🍉 (@Freeyourmindkid) August 12, 2017
"I've written over 1000 fan fiction star wars stories where I've had sex with aliens. Also no blacks."#Charlottesville #Nazitinder pic.twitter.com/mDnhzug9Js
— 🍉 Black 🇭🇹 Aziz 🇳🇬 aNANsi 🍉 (@Freeyourmindkid) August 12, 2017
https://twitter.com/1stGrumpydude/status/896279571921633280
30 minutes into "Triumph of the Will" and chill, and he gives you this look pic.twitter.com/UbY7dsoVQj
— David Futrelle (@DavidFutrelle) August 12, 2017
— Cody Johnston (@drmistercody) August 12, 2017
Nonetheless there were still those who insisted that this Nazi march was not really a Nazi march, I mean, what evidence is there that any of these guys are Nazis?
https://twitter.com/DOGGEAUX/status/896229184254521344
"I mean yeah I am a Nazi, but I really did think that the shirt said Nike when I bought it. I'm illiterate."#nazitinder #Charlottesville pic.twitter.com/1slzTJBIk6
— 🍉 Black 🇭🇹 Aziz 🇳🇬 aNANsi 🍉 (@Freeyourmindkid) August 12, 2017
That said, the Nazis and Friends of Nazis did indeed act like the shitheads they are.
https://twitter.com/IGD_News/status/896250791672946688
https://twitter.com/Freeyourmindkid/status/896239701832740865
The truly brave souls? The small number of counterprotesters who found themselves surrounded by hundreds of Nazis.
Heroes. These students were surrounded by torch-bearing neo-Nazis, beaten, & unhelped by the police on scene. #Charlottesville #DefendCville pic.twitter.com/KN2PG4FpBo
— Collin Rees (@collinrees) August 12, 2017
Nazi dorks, fuck off!
The U.S. Army detonates a massive swastika at the Nuremberg rally grounds, 1945. pic.twitter.com/I19tdChlyb
— Matt Ford (@fordm) August 12, 2017
I know this people on twitter making jokes but for me it is difficult to laugh at this. Even if they do carry insect-repellant torches. Ok, now i written that it is little bit funny – specially if you imagine how it smells. But for people inside the church to which they matched it would be very scarey. Who said it is terrorism is correct. Also, US police are shit morons for not doing anything.
That takes incredible courage by the protesters. It’s heartening.
The photos of the Nazis-we’re-not-Nazis (apart from literally wearing T-shirts with the word Nazi on, sieg heiling and so on) remind me of the comment – apparently made by unconvinced Germans during the 30s – that the ideal Aryan man would be as blonde as Hitler, as athletic as Goering and as well built as Goebbels.
But it was the black POTUS that caused the racial rift.
Uh huh. Okay.
Well, I mean, are tiki torches particularly aryan?
Tiki torches are a lot safer for the holder than the all-wood ones. That said, they missed the opportunity to also bring pitchforks, shovels, and hay rakes. If you’re storming the castle of the (((evil monster))), you always bring pitchforks, hay rakes, and shovels.
If not for the fact that the church they targeted was evacuated due to incoming sheep Nazi flood, it would be funny.
@David
Correct spelling is “Citronella”
Why do I suddenly have the (probably unhealthy) urge to say torch in Hungarian repeatedly to these dudes? (Probably because that’s ‘fáklya’ and pronounced awfully close to “fuck you”.)
This is horrifying, guys. I’m so glad that they were able to get that church evacuated. Thank goodness for those brave people holding up the torch and pitchfork mob. I gotta echo what @IGD_News said in the tweets – it’s more important than ever that we stand up to this whenever it shows up. It ain’t right.
I don’t want to make any allegories to 1920’s and 30’s Germany, because we live in a different time – the internet and television will ensure it goes down completely differently. But I think I have an inkling of how it must have felt. We can coordinate far better than they used to be able to, though, and we’re more aware of these things happening. Don’t think that a slide into fascism is inevitable, guys. It isn’t.
(Stupid blather follows)
Only white supremacists would decide to hold a hate parade and carry around tiki torches instead of actual torches. Might as well be holding up scented fucking candles, ya dumbshits. Only white people could mix being utterly terrifying with that sort of incandescent lameness.
This reminds me of an EDL demo in Nottingham in 2009, where, behind the policeman I was talking to who INSISTED that the EDL were not Nazis, the EDL supporters in Wetherspoons were giving Nazi salutes.
Later on they had a pathetic riot outside Nottingham Castle, where they nicked a lot of coppers’ helmets and played ‘catch’ with them. One of the few times the police have come round to my side of the argument by the end of the afternoon!
Robin Hood was sneering at them, or at least his statue was.
(Our counter-demo was considerably bigger than the EDL’s actual one, so we had an easy and non-violent day; but I have the greatest respect for those people in the ‘VA Students’ photograph. That takes some guts indeed.)
@Malitia:
*snrk* Now I’m imagining that in some ridiculously thick Irish or Scottish accent.
“Fuck ya, mate, up yers.”
gawwwd, dad, it’s a “Roman Salute” okay!? no one calls it a “sieg heil” anymore! you’re embarrassing me in front of my friends!
They probably brought the citronella because they thought a mosquito was where tiny Muslims worshipped.
Trump made a tweet about it.
Of course he never calls them Nazi’s. Alt-Righters. Racist, KKK, White Supremacist or any of the other unflattering names that literally describe them. I thought you couldn’t beat an enemy if you were too cowardly to say their name? Say their name donny, or are you too afraid of sanctioning your biggest fans?
Yeah, well Governor McAuliffe just declared a State of Emergency because of those fucking assholes in Charlottsville.
But do keep fucking whining because of the EssJayDubyewwwwwwws.
And this, this is what people thinks the awful, awful left should be tolerant of these views, and be conciliatory and respectful of? Are you fucking even kidding me?
I am so pissed right now.
This is my fifth attempt at drafting something that doesn’t fall foul of the comments policy. So apologies if it’s even less coherent than usual.
I note from reports that the ‘Kekistan’ flag featured prominently as well as the more traditional Nazi symbology. I know I’m preaching to the converted here, but when will people wake up to the fact that they’re not just edgy kids engaging in a bit of ‘shitlord’ trolling or satire; they’re actual honest to god Nazis?
Many of them may well be keyboard warriors, but even as ‘useful idiots’ they’re enabling all this.
Take this kid for instance:
It’s easy to scoff. But note the kippah. Now I had considered the possibility this was some actual Jewish kid engaging in some Mel Brooks style mockery of the alt-right. I’m informed by Jewish friends however that it’s one of the free ones you get given at Bar Mitzvahs and the like. So this seems to be a deliberate piece of blatant and provocative anti semitism.
What does it say about contemporary society that he feels perfectly safe doing that?
Sorry, bit ranty. But had it not been for the protesters blocking access to that church we’d have been back in Mississippi Burning territory. Never mind declaring a state emergency, why isn’t this a national emergency?
Well, I guess we all know the reasons for that.
http://www.azquotes.com/picture-quotes/quote-on-some-great-and-glorious-day-the-plain-folks-of-the-land-will-reach-their-heart-s-h-l-mencken-19-67-94.jpg
It seems to me that if any of them were actually worth anything, could actually do anything useful they would be off doing it. Racism is the refuge of people who realize they aren’t worth shit.
Well… I suppose we can be grateful for all the carbon they’re sequestering.
It looks like even old grandmas may need to hit the streets if this continues. We can’t let these assholes take over. Having them around within the rule of law is bad enough, but you know they won’t stay there.
Thats not kippah it is yarmulke.
I’m within reasonable driving distance from Charlottesville. If I’d realized sooner I might’ve saved some spoons and headed out there to counterprotest. I haven’t been able to protest outside of Facebook this past year due to life, alas.
Maybe seeing the Confederate flag and Nazi symbolism so prominently together and the realization that they attacked clergy might wake up a few people, but I’m not holding my breath.
@ valentine
Same thing apparently. I wondered what the difference was, but turns out it’s just yarmulke is Hebrew and kippah is Yiddish.
Sorry, “alt-right,” but your product might as well be called “I Can’t Believe It’s Not Nazis.”
Alan, actually I didn’t know what is kippah. I only call it yarmulke before. On yiddish i thought it is yarmolke.
@tim gueguen
I’m going to totally steal that
@ valentine
Well the person who told me that also told me it was free parking in Falmouth on Sundays (the infamous “80 quid burger” incident) so maybe I should take with a pinch of salt. 🙂
Wikipedia suggests that the terms are interchangeable in Hebrew and it’s kippah in Yiddish.
I am sobbing today like I did during 9/11.
State of emergency has been declared and ‘several pedestrians were struck Saturday in a three-vehicle crash’ because a car drove into the sidewalk where the protesters were.
Really not seeing the comedic side of the fact that nazis were carrying citronella torches last night. They could be dressed up as clowns and it wouldn’t make them any less scary to me.
(insert requisite joke about how nazi clowns are scarier than regular nazis because clowns are spooky, am I right?)
(edited to change the wording slightly)