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Trump thanks Putin for expelling American diplomats as apocalypse looms: Today in Tweets

Vlad watches the news

By David Futrelle

Is this real life, or have we somehow all become bit players in some badly written parody of the world we once knew? I have no idea, but here are some tweets. Including some cute animals, which are the one constant in this Bizarro world of ours.

https://twitter.com/mkliney1/status/895713852003934209

https://twitter.com/PeterJ_Roth/status/895642323920592897

And in honor of World Lion Day

https://twitter.com/bestcataccount/status/895705321745903622

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GrumpyOld SocialJusticeMangina
GrumpyOld SocialJusticeMangina
3 years ago

Life imitates “reality” shows.

Haise, the husky puppy
Haise, the husky puppy
3 years ago

2016 was a roller coaster but 2017 has been that tunnel scene in Willy Wonka.

Ray of Rays
Ray of Rays
3 years ago

@ Haise

I don’t think 2016 ever actually ended.

kupo
kupo
3 years ago

@Haise
Combine the Willy Wonka tunnel with the Star Trek IV time travel sequence minus the whales (because whales are good).

PeeVee the (Perpetually Ignored, Invisible but Noice) Sarcastic
PeeVee the (Perpetually Ignored, Invisible but Noice) Sarcastic
3 years ago

CNN finally dumped Lord?

HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!

kupo
kupo
3 years ago

You guys, this is awesome. People are leaving notes in the women’s rooms at Google.
comment image

Edit: boo, the image isn’t showing. It has positive messages like “we value you working at Google” and “you matter”

Weird (thumper of trumpanzees) Eddie
Weird (thumper of trumpanzees) Eddie
3 years ago

@ kupo

YESSSSS

Weird (thumper of trumpanzees) Eddie
Weird (thumper of trumpanzees) Eddie
3 years ago

It’s like that dream I have where I’m in a hole and trying to climb out but the walls crumble as I try to climb them n they crumble faster the faster I try to climb….

Nequam
Nequam
3 years ago

Do you think if someone shot some interracial porn with Obama and Ivanka look-alikes and then managed to send Trump a copy it would enrage him into a fatal stroke?

History Nerd
History Nerd
3 years ago

Willy Wonka, the 1971 version I hope.

In 1995, Trump declared approximately 900 million in business losses from his Atlantic City casinos and other businesses on his taxes. You’re allowed to keep deducting a loss from certain types of income over a number of years, which means Trump probably paid close to $0 in taxes for a few years based on how much his businesses made in the 1990’s. So, most likely, he’s only made a significant amount of money from The Apprentice and the rest is from his dad.

Trump’s resume is that he graduated from UPenn and then worked at his family’s business, which usually isn’t the type of job you worry about getting fired from. Then he oversaw a bunch of business failures until finding a job as a game show host. He probably sincerely believed the diplomats weren’t on the payroll anymore.

Troubelle: Moonbeam Malcontent + Bard of the New Movement
Troubelle: Moonbeam Malcontent + Bard of the New Movement
3 years ago

A good song, not by me.

History Nerd
History Nerd
3 years ago

I should point out that some white supremacists like to watch interracial porn. Liking interracial porn doesn’t make you an ally or progressive.

GrumpyOld SocialJusticeMangina
GrumpyOld SocialJusticeMangina
3 years ago

Some of the people that lost their jobs at the US facilities in Russia were Russians, but they probably weren’t earning all that much.

Sinister Pigeon: Sombrero Golem
Sinister Pigeon: Sombrero Golem
3 years ago

I… I can’t even. We thanked Russia for expelling our staff (And more then likely intelligence personnel) I have no idea how to deal with this.

Also has anyone tried telling trump that Obama finished his first term? I mean, way to be just like Obama donny. Better resign if you don’t wanna copy him.

Lastly, yes. Make America Great Again but the Statue of Liberty is considered an attack on the MAGAts. I am waiting for the day they decide that the Constitution triggers th…

“In a new poll, half of Republicans say they would be ok with trump suspending the 2020 election.”

And there it is.

Falconer
Falconer
3 years ago

@History Nerd, in addition, since like 2001, Trump’s been floated on a massive influx of Russian oligarch money laundering. He sold a $40 million house in Florida for close to $100 million, for instance, and a lot of his real estate is rented/leased/other by Russians.

Weird (thumper of trumpanzees) Eddie
Weird (thumper of trumpanzees) Eddie
3 years ago

MAGAts burn down the house because “others” are also living in it… then say “nyah, nyah, showed you”

Weird (thumper of trumpanzees) Eddie
Weird (thumper of trumpanzees) Eddie
3 years ago

Again but the Statue of Liberty is considered an attack on the MAGAts.

Yeah, because it’s not called the “Statue of White Privilege”

ETA; “white xian privilege ”

ETA; “white xian heterosexual privilege ”

ETA; “white xian heterosexual male privilege ”

ETA; … aww, fuck it….

kupo
kupo
3 years ago

Alan! I assume you’re asleep right now, but when you get a chance, you need to read this:

https://www.documentcloud.org/documents/3911409-Wvnd-19902323086.html

(Everyone else is free to read it. It’s a legal document but it’s far from dry.)

History Nerd
History Nerd
3 years ago

Trump has consistently overvalued his properties for awhile. That, by itself, doesn’t prove anything, but overvaluing your properties or overestimating the scale of your operations is a textbook money laundering strategy. You consistently make it seem as though the large transactions are to be expected, because it’s less likely the investigators will go and actually do the work to see whether people are actually buying from you at fair market value.

History Nerd
History Nerd
3 years ago

@kupo

It’s creepy. A number of conservatives have argued that biased reporting on environmental and social issues should be prohibited under libel laws. Or that a network must offer “equal time” to people with explicitly bigoted views.

PeeVee the (Perpetually Ignored, Invisible but Noice) Sarcastic
PeeVee the (Perpetually Ignored, Invisible but Noice) Sarcastic
3 years ago

Kupo, I’ve seen that before, and I literally laughed for a half hour…who knew that the ACLU were so funny?

Just the headings alone are hilarious!

kupo
kupo
3 years ago

@PeeVee
I know! My sister only shares legal stuff that’s funny, but I was a bit intimidated by the length of it until I skimmed the table of contents, then I settled in with some popcorn.

@History Nerd
That’s why I donate to ACLU.

Imperator Kahlo
Imperator Kahlo
3 years ago

@Nequam

Do you think if someone shot some interracial porn with Obama and Ivanka look-alikes and then managed to send Trump a copy it would enrage him into a fatal stroke?

Like, I 100% get the sentiment and desperately want him out of office, but do we really want to engage with the racist viewpoint that people of colour somehow “lower” their sexual partners? Or, for that matter, the sexist viewpoint that a daughter’s choice of sexual partners is in any way a reflection of the father?

That ACLU brief is a masterpiece.

Ray of Rays
Ray of Rays
3 years ago

@ Imperator

Was there “lowering” in that? I thought it referred to how Trump in general has decades of well-documented animosity towards black people and sexist possessive attitudes towards women, and in specific either petty grievances or a massive inferiority complex towards President Obama and a creepy relationship with his daughter, so implying sexual relations between the two would hit almost every apoplectic button.

epronovost
epronovost
3 years ago

I might not be well informed enough about American politics (I’m from Quebec) or online trolling/twitter, but why the hell is that dude so pist about the Vogue cover? Yes, the Statue of Liberty is considered an icon of immigration and open border thanks to the famous poem ”The New Colossus” by Emma Lazarus, one of the most famous and defining poem in american history. How is it supposed to be odd to put a picture of a woman beside the Statue of Liberty (who is mind you a feminine symbol)? Plus, what the hell is MAGA supposed to mean?

kupo
kupo
3 years ago

@epronovost
The right feels a lot of ownership over patriotic symbols, plus all the political battles right now over women’s rights probably make them think a woman next to the Statue of Liberty is a statement supporting women’s freedom of bodily autonomy.

MAGA = Make America Great Again. It was Trump’s campaign slogan.

Laugher at Bigots, Full Blown Future Heretical Frankist Whistleblower Neo-Hippie Resurgent

“MAGA” is an abbreviation of the Dump campaign slogan “Make America Great Again!” It has since become the call of the trumpanzee.

Ninjaed by kupo

Lord Pabu
Lord Pabu
3 years ago

This is slightly off topic (but maybe not too much, given that Trump’s a big part of the reason) but I just got a survey in the mail from the ACLU and it has an open ended question asking if there are any observations or concerns that you would like to add about how are freedoms are at risk, either nationwide or in your community or state. Of course, this follows a very good list of their current concerns and what they’re actively working on, so I’m not sure what to add but I hate to waste an opportunity.

The other survey questions include this list; (I marked “very concerned” for everything, because I am miserably worried about all of it)

1.) Baseless claims about voter fraud sparking a new wave of voter suppression laws that make it harder for vulnerable voters to participate in the vitally important 2018 elections.

2.) The Trump administration launching a massive deportation force and ordering immigration raids based on racial and ethnic profiling that could target schools, hospitals, and churches and send thousands of immigrants into overcrowded and squalid detention centers.

3.) The anti-choice majority in Congress moving to defund abortion providers across the country, depriving millions of women of essential healthcare services.

4.) Donald Trump abusing power and undermining the rule of law in ways that have a lasting negative impact on our democracy.

5.) Emboldened extremists across the country escalating efforts to turn back the clock on reproductive freedom and LGBTQ rights.

6.) Religious discrimination that includes the Muslim ban imposing a religious test on refugees and others seeking to enter our country.

Does anybody have something I can add to that for the seventh question?

(I don’t comment here often because everyone is way better spoken than I am; this community is what I aspire to be. <3 )

Valentine
Valentine
3 years ago

Would not be Vlad for diminutive, would be volodya/vova/vladya. But i know Vlad is how Americans would make it. But makes him sound Romanian 😆 👹

Nequam
Nequam
3 years ago

Ray has the right of it– I was playing on the creepy possessiveness Trump has for his daughter coupled with what seems to be extraordinary envy of Obama.

Imperator Kahlo
Imperator Kahlo
3 years ago

@Ray and @Nequam, gotcha, and I’m probably being over-sensitive about this. Something about it just squicks me out, but as a playful ‘wouldn’t this piss Trump off’ it is, indeed, perfect.

Alan Robertshaw
Alan Robertshaw
3 years ago

@ kupo

It’s a legal document but it’s far from dry.

I love that. The thing is, it’s also a beautifully crafted argument.

I’ve been having a bit of legal fun myself. Much bewildered last week about a mystery building on some ground plans. So we all trooped out to the site. Then we realised it was just the text box with the document reference number.

Today I’ve been on a site sorting out the utility supplies for a new building development. There’s lots of legal issues about digging up roads and crossing boundaries; so it’s important to work out exactly where all the existing utility services run underground. We might have expected to rely on the official plans, but no, the guy from the utility company brought his dowsing rods. Works for me.

opposablethumbs
opposablethumbs
3 years ago

(Even sweeter would be if this hypothetical porn shoot portrayed the sex as affectionate and consensual and mutually enjoyable (since the only way someone like trump could conceive of interracial sex between a black man and a white woman would be “them xxxxxs is stealin OUR/MY wimminz”, plus also too women having and exercising sexual agency = doesnotcompute))

re the OP, trump plumbs new depths of showing his arse to the world. The payroll bollocks doesn’t even work as a joke. (could he really believe they’re no longer getting paid??? and how much of a dent does he imagine that would make in the national budget anyway!?!?!?!)

zaunfink
zaunfink
3 years ago

Wow. I’ve been scrolling through most of these twitter posts amused and exasperated, even the atomic one didn’t Really do more than make me sigh.

But the poll thing… Postponing the election. Fuck.
I guess I’ve been clinging to the hope that we’ll be rid of him somewhere along the line, that perhaps even the republicans want to have a more competent asshole as president, but. Wow.

They are aware that this sounds quite close to how we over here got saddled with Hitler, yes? How stupid are they?

JS
JS
3 years ago

(The following mostly applies to the 50% or so of Repubs that think postponing the next election is a good idea)
The alt-right would be quite happy if we got saddled with someone like Hitler, as long as they were part of the “approved group”. The rest of them are just going along with it, because they hate Democrats and liberal ideas, and still think Trump-Pence is a good way of keeping conservative ideas going.

Feed the gulls, Trumppence a bag…

Arctic Ape
Arctic Ape
3 years ago

Valentine:

Would not be Vlad for diminutive, would be volodya/vova/vladya. But i know Vlad is how Americans would make it.

I recall that a few years ago one reporter in Russia addressed Putin as Vova in a press conference, after he’d first addressed her in a condescending diminutive while sidestepping her actual question. So she ended the exchange with a sarcastic “Thanks, Vova.”

(This went viral and was eventually mentioned in a Finnish newspaper.)

Gaebolga
Gaebolga
3 years ago

zaunfink wrote:

They are aware that this sounds quite close to how we over here got saddled with Hitler, yes? How stupid are they?

Stupid enough that they actually thought “President Drumpf” was a good idea.

So…really, really fucking stupid.

Nina
Nina
3 years ago

The great thing about Putin being called Vova is that Vova is the butt of many Russian jokes. When I was in high school I went on a student exchange to Russia, and I remember my host dad spending every dinner telling silly Vova jokes (my Russian was too basic for more complex dinner topics). Anyway, I bet a power-obsessed egomaniac like Putin must really hate being called Vova.

zaunfink
zaunfink
3 years ago

The weirdest thing about this is… They live in America too. The people calling for nuclear strikes, the republicans wanting to keep him and all. How can they be unaware that the fallout – in all kinds of ways – is going to apply to them, too?

Banananana dakry
Banananana dakry
3 years ago

@Valentine

It’s how we would make it, yes, but also has the nice side effect of evoking that Romanian Vlad from history. And his horror movie counterpart. Vampirism or extreme sanctioning of rivals or critics sounds pretty pertinent to me for some reason.

Valentine
Valentine
3 years ago

Nina,

I think his wife maybe call him Volodyushka. Not so big and scarry now little Vovchik. 😋

Banana, pity because i always like vampires ((

kiki
kiki
3 years ago

Then he oversaw a bunch of business failures until finding a job as a game show host.

“But I repeat myself.” I don’t know about the US version of The Apprentice – perhaps it has some halfway-competent contestants on it sometimes – but for the UK version, “overseeing a bunch of business failures” is basically the host’s job description.

Axecalibur: Middle Name Danger
Axecalibur: Middle Name Danger
3 years ago

@zaunfink

How can they be unaware that the fallout – in all kinds of ways – is going to apply to them, too?

These are the same people who want Obamacare repealed and immigrants deported even tho the latter keeps them fed and former keeps a lotta the fuckers alive. Fallout is demonstrably the least of their worries

Alan Robertshaw
Alan Robertshaw
3 years ago

Fallout is demonstrably the least of their worries

If it’s a ‘real’ nuclear explosion your body has a way of shutting down and repelling all the Gamma rays.

(Alpha particles can get through to the ladies, but Beta particles are just cucks.)

GrumpyOld SocialJusticeMangina
GrumpyOld SocialJusticeMangina
3 years ago

Calling Putin “Vlad” is obviously an echo of “Vlad the Impaler.” In Putin’s world impaling is done with a poisoned umbrella.

Jenora Feuer
Jenora Feuer
3 years ago

@Valentine:
We used to have a Russian at my last job, Alexandre, who was usually called ‘Sasha’. And I would later learn that ‘Mikhail’ becomes ‘Misha’.

(And to anybody who can’t figure out how to get ‘Sasha’ from ‘Alexandre’… well, how do English speakers get ‘Dick’ from ‘Richard’ anyway? I suspect a lot of common diminutives date back centuries, with the long and short versions just changing in different directions over time.)

Redsilkphoenix: Jetpack Vixen, Agent of the FemiNest Collective; Keeper of a Hell Toupee, and all-around Intergalactic Meanie
Redsilkphoenix: Jetpack Vixen, Agent of the FemiNest Collective; Keeper of a Hell Toupee, and all-around Intergalactic Meanie
3 years ago

Who/what exactly is Vovo? I gather from how it’s being talked about here it’s a joke name along the lines of Joe Blow from Kokomo, but otherwise can’t figure out the joke in it.

Can someone please explain it to me? With sugar and whipped cream and cherries on top?

opposablethumbs
opposablethumbs
3 years ago

Scottish Alexanders get called Sandy. It’s from the ‘Xander bit; I guess Sasha is also from the ‘Xandre part of the name?

Names do go through some wonderful permutations. Gareth = Gazza and Barry = Bazza, Derek = Del and Terence = Tel … 🙂

Elisabeth has more diminutives than you can shake a stick at.

And I’m still bemused by the fact that Jacob gives both James and Iago.

Axecalibur: Middle Name Danger
Axecalibur: Middle Name Danger
3 years ago

Eduardo => Lalo is my favorite 🙂

Steven Dutch
Steven Dutch
3 years ago

For those just tuning in, someone responded to anti-immigrant sentiment by quoting Emma Lazarus poem on the Statue. So that makes any photo spread involving the Statue of Liberty an attack on Trump and America in general.