By David Futrelle
On the lady-hating internet crap site Return of Kings, a fellow called Jimbo Jones is pig-biting mad about the widespread assumption “that men are so beholden to the vagina that their every action can be manipulated through their (heterosexual) desires … .”
It’s an idea as old, he notes, as Aristophanes’ sex-strike play Lysistrata, and as current as rapper Brooke Candy’s 2013 song “Pussy Makes the Rules.”
As Jimbo sees it, this cultural trope is as evil and pernicious as feminism itself. “There’s nothing innocuous about extolling the virtues of an ideologically weaponized vagina,” he harrumphs,
nor is there anything innocent about encouraging listeners to turn their sex organs into methods of controlling, manipulating and domineering over other people.
But now, he argues with barely concealed glee, some men are starting to make a sort of end-run around the vagina, “abandon[ing] women altogether [to] pursue the embrace of males pretending to be female.” And so, he says, you find an increasing number of “straight” men — the scare quotes are his — who are chasing after
drag queens, crossdressers, fembois, male-to-female transsexuals, t-girls, shemales and—perhaps most notably—traps (that being, men who dress as women who don’t tell their partners their real gender, oftentimes with the hopes of “converting” their boyfriends into full-time homosexuality) … .
While Jimbo is quick to assure his readers that he’s not one of these men, he also makes clear that he can sorta see where they’re coming from. Their allegedly newfound interest in what he calls “males pretending to be female” is a “wholly predictable response” to the fact that today’s “biological … females” are a bunch of mean fatties who think they’re all that.
“[W]omen today are nowhere near as attractive as they were 20 years ago,” Jimbo declares.
The Great Big Lie of third wave feminism … has convinced women that it’s okay to be morbidly obese, dyke-ish, adverse to even basic forms of hygiene and walk around with full blown mustaches, and that men will just have to change their own preconceived notions of beauty and roll with it. After all, women do have the vaginas, don’t they, and men will do anything to spill their precious seed inside them, even if it means bumping uglies with a 400-pound, smelly, tatted up Skankasaurus, right?
If anything, the rise of the femboi/trap subculture is a direct reactionary statement to the defeminization of the American woman.
Heck, even the totally-straight-not-fooling-around-with-this-stuff Jimbo thinks that some trans porn stars are actually prettier than women he considers especially ugly.
There’s no denying it: a transsexual porn star like Sarina Valentina is unquestionably more attractive than a “real feminist” like Andrea Dworkin, while cam-tr*nny jerk-off queen Paige James is inarguably prettier than such loud and proud biological celebrity females as Lena Dunham and Leslie Jones.
Also, he adds, they’re “thinner and cleaner” than your typical feminist.
While Jimbo can’t quite decide just how gay he thinks men who have sex with “tr*nnies” really are — he thinks they’re at least a little gay — he’s pretty sure they’re basically driven to this “degeneracy” by the toxic awfulness of “real” women.
What else would drive a man who is sexually attracted to the female form into the arms, crotch and buttocks of another man with synthetic tits, a wig, and $200 worth of makeup on his face? …
Just how hideous do women have to get—physically and behaviorally—for men to say no thanks to pussy in favor of a good old fashioned rectal hammering? How can you even begin to comprehend how such fringe fetishist subcultures even came to exist without first acknowledging that women did something very, very wrong in the first place?
Since “women did something very, very wrong” is pretty much the standard Return of Kings explanation for everything they think is wrong with the world, it’s hardly surprising to see Jimbo trot it out as the explanation for why many men find trans women attractive — and some outright fetishize them.
Jimbo is torn between thinking this is wrong and gay — and thinking it’s great that “tr*nny chasers” are (at least in his fantasies) undercutting cis women in the sexual marketplace. “[A]s deplorable and decadent as it may be, ” he writes,
the shemale question proves that pussy is no longer the great cultural trump card women have over the male species. Then again, feminists only have themselves to blame for their own obsolescence: if sex is literally all you have to offer, wasn’t it just a matter of time until men found a way to get it cheaper, easier and without all of the tribal-politics nonsense?
But any of Jimbo’s readers who see sex with trans women as an ingenious solution to their inability to convince cis women to have sex with them, I hate to have to break it to you: If you’re the kind of guy who sees Roosh V’s Return of Kings as a fount of knowledge, trans women are going to find you just as repulsive as the cis women you so despise do.
Men angry at women and feminism due to bullshit created by other men for the purpose of avoiding accountability. This is MRM in a nutshell.
Someone call the fire department. My irony meter has overloaded, and now my house is ablaze…
He says as if he actually thinks any of these things are distinct descriptors and not some amorphous blob of ‘degeneracy’
Yours is a hot commodity, I’m sure. Lines around the corner /s
Does… does he think Dworkin was imaginary?
Porque no los dos? Plenty of cis het couples… peg, as I believe is correct parlance
Women are from Omicron Persei 7, men are from Omicron Persei 9
@Dali
Not really that I’ve noticed. But 1)I live near Atlanta, the lib oasis of the deep south, and 2)I haven’t yet experienced the abject heathenry of the west coast in person. Can’t make a proper comparison. Maybe it’s just one, giant tattoo out there ?
@Bina:
Yeah, nostalgia for a past that never was tends to miss the mark of the past that was similar. People talking about the imagined 50s tend to say things like “things where never like this 30 years ago”, not realizing that 30 years ago was the late 80s, which is more similar to today than anyone likes. Difference is that us lefties dislike today’s similarity to the predatory capitalism of the 80s, and the rightists dislike it’s similarity to the hedonism of the 80s. But everybody who were there agrees that the fashion was… Regrettable. Let’s never do that again. And trying to revive 80s fashion is just about the only piece of infamy that one can aim squarely and solely at certain millennials.
But I digress. Being in my later 30s, but disapproving of that fact, I’d go with “40 years ago things were different from when I was born”, but then I’d do elementary arithmetics and say “or maybe that’s about when I was born”, and feel appropriately ancient. But that step of asking “how long ago was that, actually”? People longing for the never-was won’t ever ask that question. Or any other, frankly.
Wasn’t Lysistrata meant as a comedy? The Ancient Greeks thought women were so driven by lust that for them to withhold sex would be physically impossible. Thus, the idea of a ‘sex strike’ was the height of nonsensical humor. I think dear Jimbo wouldn’t be mentioning it here if he knew the context.
@JS,
Mrs. Hudson on Elementary is a transwoman, player by trans actress Kandy Kane (I think that’s how she spells it). I have no idea if she’s first, but she does exist.
Superficially I’d say good riddance to MRAs chasing trans-women. But given the amount of abuse and discrimination trans-women suffer, I couldn’t condone this with a clear conscience.
Again with the Dworkin! Really up-to-date reference there, Jimbo! Maybe you could work Solanas into your next piece about Women Today?
@Hu’sOnFirst: Puts an interesting gloss on the Little Richard song, don’t it?
(I’m kind of amazed he got away with a song that mentions balling in 1956!)
Wasn’t there another unpleasant manospherian who recently enthused about young, submissive, effeminate gay guys as a good alternative to awful feeeeemales because, amongst other things, no-one would care or believe them if they were raped and abused? I’m sure I read about that one here.
Speaking of awful men, our restraining order seeking boss appears to be back. Whooda seen this coming?
@Anarchonist – yes, bang on the money!
Although I’d like to think I wouldn’t have been suckered by this particular piece of bullshit, it disturbs me how vulnerable I’d have been to Manosphere ideology when I was, say, fifteen.
@Axecalibur: Middle Name Danger
¿Por qué? = Why?
Porque = Because.
I read this site every day and I love David’s humorous style of writing.
I also enjoy reading the comments, you are all so so good at it and with some links very educational.
And of course, Cats. We have 13.
Great. You’ve won. Now fuck off and leave us alone.
Pylo, can you fucking not?
It’s cute that these individuals still think women want or need them.
OMG
I’ve been looking for something to add to my nym. Thanks Jimbo!
Actually, I think I like “possessor” better
@Violet the Vile, Possessor of an Ideologically Weaponized Vagina
I agree with the slight nym change. It is even more fabulous now. Congrats!
@Alan,
Um … wow. Textbook Nice Guy. That poor young woman.
@Moggie,
I had Solanas thrown at me on Twitter recently (again). Why doesn’t anyone ever throw, say, Judith Butler at me? Now that would be wonderful…
@Alan
That was in no way predictable. /s
Alan:
I kinda suspected we’d be hearing something like this. The guy is in a downward spiral where the best outcome is him losing his job and becoming unemployable in the sector. But I fear he’ll show up in a murder/suicide news report before long.
I took a look at the sub, and I’m glad to see that every response to that rant is against his behaviour.
Well, at least they’re moving beyond the gender binary.
Off the top of my head, Jamie Clayton from Sense8. OitNB came first, though.
Predating even Denise on Twin Peaks, though, there was Billy Crystal’s character on Soap, Jodie. He wasn’t trans, but he almost underwent reassignment surgery so he could marry his boyfriend at one point. The whole arc was a pretty big deal for late 70s primetime.
@Alan
That guy must listen to “Don’t You Want Me” by the Human League way too often.
Erm, neither Sense8 nor OitNB are network TV, unless my cable service is suddenly dropping a whole lot of channels. I’ve never seen either while channel surfing.
Sorry, missed that word when responding. I guess I was just thinking of TV in general.