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“Biological females” are so awful men are turning to “tr*nnies,” Return of Kings declares

Hey (cis) ladies! Your Lysistrata crap won’t work on men any more, Return of Kings declares

By David Futrelle

On the lady-hating internet crap site Return of Kings, a fellow called Jimbo Jones is pig-biting mad about the widespread assumption “that men are so beholden to the vagina that their every action can be manipulated through their (heterosexual) desires … .”

It’s an idea as old, he notes, as Aristophanes’ sex-strike play Lysistrata, and as current as rapper Brooke Candy’s 2013 song “Pussy Makes the Rules.”

As Jimbo sees it, this cultural trope is as evil and pernicious as feminism itself. “There’s nothing innocuous about extolling the virtues of an ideologically weaponized vagina,” he harrumphs,

nor is there anything innocent about encouraging listeners to turn their sex organs into methods of controlling, manipulating and domineering over other people.

But now, he argues with barely concealed glee, some men are starting to make a sort of end-run around the vagina, “abandon[ing] women altogether [to] pursue the embrace of males pretending to be female.” And so, he says, you find an increasing number of “straight” men — the scare quotes are his — who are chasing after

drag queens, crossdressers, fembois, male-to-female transsexuals, t-girls, shemales and—perhaps most notably—traps (that being, men who dress as women who don’t tell their partners their real gender, oftentimes with the hopes of “converting” their boyfriends into full-time homosexuality) … .

While Jimbo is quick to assure his readers that he’s not one of these men, he also makes clear that he can sorta see where they’re coming from. Their allegedly newfound interest in what he calls “males pretending to be female” is a “wholly predictable response” to the fact that today’s “biological … females” are a bunch of mean fatties who think they’re all that.

“[W]omen today are nowhere near as attractive as they were 20 years ago,” Jimbo declares.

The Great Big Lie of third wave feminism … has convinced women that it’s okay to be morbidly obese, dyke-ish, adverse to even basic forms of hygiene and walk around with full blown mustaches, and that men will just have to change their own preconceived notions of beauty and roll with it. After all, women do have the vaginas, don’t they, and men will do anything to spill their precious seed inside them, even if it means bumping uglies with a 400-pound, smelly, tatted up Skankasaurus, right?

If anything, the rise of the femboi/trap subculture is a direct reactionary statement to the defeminization of the American woman. 

Heck, even the totally-straight-not-fooling-around-with-this-stuff Jimbo thinks that some trans porn stars are actually prettier than women he considers especially ugly.

There’s no denying it: a transsexual porn star like Sarina Valentina is unquestionably more attractive than a “real feminist” like Andrea Dworkin, while cam-tr*nny jerk-off queen Paige James is inarguably prettier than such loud and proud biological celebrity females as Lena Dunham and Leslie Jones.

Also, he adds, they’re “thinner and cleaner” than your typical feminist.

While Jimbo can’t quite decide just how gay he thinks men who have sex with “tr*nnies” really are — he thinks they’re at least a little gay — he’s pretty sure they’re basically driven to this “degeneracy” by the toxic awfulness of “real” women.

What else would drive a man who is sexually attracted to the female form into the arms, crotch and buttocks of another man with synthetic tits, a wig, and $200 worth of makeup on his face? …

Just how hideous do women have to get—physically and behaviorally—for men to say no thanks to pussy in favor of a good old fashioned rectal hammering? How can you even begin to comprehend how such fringe fetishist subcultures even came to exist without first acknowledging that women did something very, very wrong in the first place?

Since “women did something very, very wrong” is pretty much the standard Return of Kings explanation for everything they think is wrong with the world, it’s hardly surprising to see Jimbo trot it out as the explanation for why many men find trans women attractive — and some outright fetishize them.

Jimbo is torn between thinking this is wrong and gay — and thinking it’s great that “tr*nny chasers” are (at least in his fantasies) undercutting cis women in the sexual marketplace. “[A]s deplorable and decadent as it may be, ” he writes,

the shemale question proves that pussy is no longer the great cultural trump card women have over the male species. Then again, feminists only have themselves to blame for their own obsolescence: if sex is literally all you have to offer, wasn’t it just a matter of time until men found a way to get it cheaper, easier and without all of the tribal-politics nonsense?

But any of Jimbo’s readers who see sex with trans women as an ingenious solution to their inability to convince cis women to have sex with them, I hate to have to break it to you: If you’re the kind of guy who sees Roosh V’s Return of Kings as a fount of knowledge, trans women are going to find you just as repulsive as the cis women you so despise do. 

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Godzilla Roberts
Godzilla Roberts
3 years ago

LOL, I’ll have to let my cousin know that the EVIL WIMMINZ are why she is the amazing transwoman she is. …though this makes less sense because she’s bi as hell and married to the most amazing woman. So… I think she disproves all of this, but logic was never a Return of Kings strong point, so…

…god she’s going to get such a kick out of this. xD Hopefully in a LOL what way and not in a “not this shit again” way.

Going to say it loud and for the people in back, transwomen are women, not men. Wommmmeennnn.

Nequam
Nequam
3 years ago

The “adverse to even basic forms of hygiene” line is especially hilarious given Roosh’s well-known disdain for having to wipe his own ass.

[Also, it’s “averse”, but that’s the least of the stupidities on display.]

Redsilkphoenix: Jetpack Vixen, Agent of the FemiNest Collective; Keeper of a Hell Toupee, and all-around Intergalactic Meanie
Redsilkphoenix: Jetpack Vixen, Agent of the FemiNest Collective; Keeper of a Hell Toupee, and all-around Intergalactic Meanie
3 years ago

Biological celebrity females? As in, celebrity is a function of biology?

*snerk*

Ooglyboggles
Ooglyboggles
3 years ago

@Redsilkphoenix: Jetpack Vixen, Agent of the FemiNest Collective; Keeper of a Hell Toupee, and all-around Intergalactic Meanie
Gives a whole new meaning to TV killed the Radio Star.

epronovost
epronovost
3 years ago

What I find ”amusing” about this belief is that I can take the same reality and posit an opposite belief that makes just as much sense. Here it is: ”How horrible, fat, ugly, lazy, incompetent, impotent, unsensible and unsensitive men have become so that so many of them are starting to dress, behave and identify as women rather than shamefully accept to bear the title of men.” There form of pseudo-intellectual rants are so easy to subvert and spin, I wonder why they keep making them. Why can’t they simply accept the fact that the world is large and full of different people who like different things.

MexicanHotChocolate
MexicanHotChocolate
3 years ago

Wow! Transphobia and misogyny and homophobia/biphobia. Is that an online troll trifecta? What does Jimbo win?

Pylo
Pylo
3 years ago

So much closet in one small article….

Hu's On First
Hu's On First
3 years ago

The TERMS “femboi” and “trap” might be new, but the subcultures themselves have existed for centuries. Back in 18th century England they were called mollies; look up the Wikipedia article on molly house. So it seems ridiculous to claim that feminism caused it.

PeeVee the (Perpetually Ignored, Invisible but Noice) Sarcastic
PeeVee the (Perpetually Ignored, Invisible but Noice) Sarcastic
3 years ago

ಠ_ಠ

(((VioletBeauregarde))): Crooked Nasty Social Justice Necromancer
(((VioletBeauregarde))): Crooked Nasty Social Justice Necromancer
3 years ago

tatted up Skankasaurus

I think I need to start wearing temporary tattoos every day to help keep the skeezy broflakes away. There’s nothing/nobody I care about enough to get tattooed onto me (I care strongly about a LOT of people and things but I fucking HATE needles!), so fake tats it is!

Also, the word “decadent” NEVER fails to trigger a chocolate craving in me!

@Nequam: Totally agreed!

Typical RoK users: “Women need to be walking Barbie dolls or they ain’t shit! That’s what wrong with our culture…all these uppity females think they’re good for something other than sex and they DARE to let themselves look real and not like our ridiculous idealized versions of them! Will NOBODY think of my boner?!”

Also typical RoK users: “Some bitch told me to wipe my ass! How dare she?! Who does she think she is?! She’s not even that attractive herself!”

MrsObedMarsh
MrsObedMarsh
3 years ago

Way to go Jimbo Jones for choosing to take on the name of the leader of a gang of idiot bully children. It captures you and the MRM perfectly.

(((VioletBeauregarde))): Crooked Nasty Social Justice Necromancer
(((VioletBeauregarde))): Crooked Nasty Social Justice Necromancer
3 years ago

As an aside, has anyone noticed that we feminists (the female ones anyway) possess these magical shape-shifting powers? We’re all ugly, fat, smelly, butch and hairy hambeasts one day–and the next day we are uber-sexy and seductively beautiful sirens leading men astray with our feminine witchery? Amazing, that.

Ooglyboggles
Ooglyboggles
3 years ago

comment image

Dalillama: Irate Social Engineer

All the trans women I know* (myself included) are tattooed too. I wonder what he makes of that. To be fair, almost everyone I know is tattooed, trans and cis alike, regardless of gender, so I think our Jimbo’s aesthetic mores are simply behind the times. Or possibly just regional; I understand the Eastern seaboard is still pretty stuffy about that sort of thing.

*or at least that I know and have seen, in person or in pictures.

Coquette St. Jacques
Coquette St. Jacques
3 years ago

I think I speak for most trans women when I say “um…ew.”

Laugher at Bigots, Full Blown Future Heretical Frankist Whistleblower Neo-Hippie Resurgent

Somebody needs to add “tatted-up Skankasaurus” to their nym.

JS
JS
3 years ago

@those with more TV (television, realized needed clarification :P) knowledge than I

Have there been any openly transgender actors/actresses on network TV besides Doubt’s Laverne Cox? I’m thinking she has to be close to the first. Duchovny on Twin Peaks doesn’t count, because the character’s trans, but the actor still prefers male pronouns. I think I’d like Laverne to be the first, as she seemed to be really great as a guest judge on AGT.

@oogly

o.O
O.o

Ha ha haha haha ha haha ha ah-ha haahaha.
Oh heck, I’ll pretend google image search didn’t say anything…

Please tell me you can draw that fast, Oogly.

@dali The transwoman I know doesn’t have any visible tattoos, at least I don’t think she does. Can’t answer if any non-visible tatts. Probably just an artifact of you knowing so many tattooed people.

Ooglyboggles
Ooglyboggles
3 years ago

@JS
Nah, if I could draw that fast, let alone draw at all half my posts would just be images based on manosphere screeds.

Brandy Turing
Brandy Turing
3 years ago

Coquette St. Jacques, I will second that. Gross.

Jesalin
Jesalin
3 years ago

I think I speak for most trans women when I say “um…ew.”

http://i.imgur.com/HPnhPOn.jpg

Mish of the Catlady Ascendancy
Mish of the Catlady Ascendancy
3 years ago

There’s no denying it: a transsexual porn star like Sarina Valentina is unquestionably more attractive than a “real feminist” like Andrea Dworkin

There’s no denying it. Whoa, earth-shattering stuff there. Mind = blown.

1. Valentina is a porn star. It is part of her job to look attractive
2. Dworkin is [a] dead, and [b] wouldn’t have given a flying fuck about whether you found her attractive or not. I have a lot of issues with Dworkin’s work, but I’m having fun imagining her response to this

Also, a good old fashioned rectal hammering has amused me greatly, on so many levels.
“Sorry, old chum – must dash. I’m due at the club for a good old-fashioned rectal hammering. You must join us some time! Toodle-pip!”

Jesalin
Jesalin
3 years ago

Sorry, missed the edit window!

If you’re the kind of guy who sees Roosh V’s Return of Kings as a fount of knowledge, trans women are going to find you just as repulsive as the cis women you so despise do.

^
http://i.imgur.com/QEp9vWu.jpg

DMW
DMW
3 years ago

Because nothing turns a woman on more than being hate-fetishized, right? She’ll never, ever guess that beneath your slick compliments and charming demeanor lies the rotten black soul of a total fucking asshat.

C’mon with that noise, Jim. Women have to be constantly aware of individuals who might do us harm, and that’s true for trans people especially. If you think they’d let your toxic bullshit get anywhere near them on an intimate level, you’re absolutely kidding yourself.

Bina
3 years ago

Wow. Gynophobia, homophobia AND transphobia, all wrapped up with a great big ugly bow. I think I just filled my Migtoe Bingo card!

Bina
3 years ago

Also, is anyone as amused as I am to hear that (cis) women “were more attractive 20 years ago”? Wasn’t grunge still a thing then, or was it over already? I may have been hallucinating, but I do recall seeing an awful lot of very tattooed, unglamorously-dressed young women schlepping around the streets of Toronto in those days.

A lot of them were also emaciated from heroin, and that wasn’t attractive in the least. Unless you’re some kind of freak who likes the look of sickness and thinks needle tracks (not the tattooed kind, either) are hot.

Does this guy even fact-check himself?

Anarchonist
3 years ago

Jimbo Jones is pig-biting mad about the widespread assumption “that men are so beholden to the vagina that their every action can be manipulated through their (heterosexual) desires … .”

Men angry at women and feminism due to bullshit created by other men for the purpose of avoiding accountability. This is MRM in a nutshell.

Axecalibur: Middle Name Danger
Axecalibur: Middle Name Danger
3 years ago

nor is there anything innocent about encouraging listeners to turn their sex organs into methods of controlling, manipulating and domineering over other people

Someone call the fire department. My irony meter has overloaded, and now my house is ablaze…

drag queens, crossdressers, fembois, male-to-female transsexuals, t-girls, shemales and—perhaps most notably—traps

He says as if he actually thinks any of these things are distinct descriptors and not some amorphous blob of ‘degeneracy’

men will do anything to spill their precious seed inside them

Yours is a hot commodity, I’m sure. Lines around the corner /s

a “real feminist” like Andrea Dworkin

Does… does he think Dworkin was imaginary?

men to say no thanks to pussy in favor of a good old fashioned rectal hammering?

Porque no los dos? Plenty of cis het couples… peg, as I believe is correct parlance

the male species

Women are from Omicron Persei 7, men are from Omicron Persei 9

@Dali

I understand the Eastern seaboard is still pretty stuffy about that sort of thing

Not really that I’ve noticed. But 1)I live near Atlanta, the lib oasis of the deep south, and 2)I haven’t yet experienced the abject heathenry of the west coast in person. Can’t make a proper comparison. Maybe it’s just one, giant tattoo out there 😛

Feline
Feline
3 years ago

@Bina:

Also, is anyone as amused as I am to hear that (cis) women “were more attractive 20 years ago”? Wasn’t grunge still a thing then, or was it over already? I may have been hallucinating, but I do recall seeing an awful lot of very tattooed, unglamorously-dressed young women schlepping around the streets of Toronto in those days.

Yeah, nostalgia for a past that never was tends to miss the mark of the past that was similar. People talking about the imagined 50s tend to say things like “things where never like this 30 years ago”, not realizing that 30 years ago was the late 80s, which is more similar to today than anyone likes. Difference is that us lefties dislike today’s similarity to the predatory capitalism of the 80s, and the rightists dislike it’s similarity to the hedonism of the 80s. But everybody who were there agrees that the fashion was… Regrettable. Let’s never do that again. And trying to revive 80s fashion is just about the only piece of infamy that one can aim squarely and solely at certain millennials.
But I digress. Being in my later 30s, but disapproving of that fact, I’d go with “40 years ago things were different from when I was born”, but then I’d do elementary arithmetics and say “or maybe that’s about when I was born”, and feel appropriately ancient. But that step of asking “how long ago was that, actually”? People longing for the never-was won’t ever ask that question. Or any other, frankly.

Leah
Leah
3 years ago

Wasn’t Lysistrata meant as a comedy? The Ancient Greeks thought women were so driven by lust that for them to withhold sex would be physically impossible. Thus, the idea of a ‘sex strike’ was the height of nonsensical humor. I think dear Jimbo wouldn’t be mentioning it here if he knew the context.

Redsilkphoenix: Jetpack Vixen, Agent of the FemiNest Collective; Keeper of a Hell Toupee, and all-around Intergalactic Meanie
Redsilkphoenix: Jetpack Vixen, Agent of the FemiNest Collective; Keeper of a Hell Toupee, and all-around Intergalactic Meanie
3 years ago

@JS,

Mrs. Hudson on Elementary is a transwoman, player by trans actress Kandy Kane (I think that’s how she spells it). I have no idea if she’s first, but she does exist.

Gijoel
Gijoel
3 years ago

Superficially I’d say good riddance to MRAs chasing trans-women. But given the amount of abuse and discrimination trans-women suffer, I couldn’t condone this with a clear conscience.

Moggie
Moggie
3 years ago

Again with the Dworkin! Really up-to-date reference there, Jimbo! Maybe you could work Solanas into your next piece about Women Today?

Nequam
Nequam
3 years ago

@Hu’sOnFirst: Puts an interesting gloss on the Little Richard song, don’t it?

(I’m kind of amazed he got away with a song that mentions balling in 1956!)

Pie
Pie
3 years ago

Wasn’t there another unpleasant manospherian who recently enthused about young, submissive, effeminate gay guys as a good alternative to awful feeeeemales because, amongst other things, no-one would care or believe them if they were raped and abused? I’m sure I read about that one here.

Alan Robertshaw
Alan Robertshaw
3 years ago

Speaking of awful men, our restraining order seeking boss appears to be back. Whooda seen this coming?

comment image

Jimbtho
Jimbtho
3 years ago

@Anarchonist – yes, bang on the money!

Although I’d like to think I wouldn’t have been suckered by this particular piece of bullshit, it disturbs me how vulnerable I’d have been to Manosphere ideology when I was, say, fifteen.

Don Quijote
Don Quijote
3 years ago

@Axecalibur: Middle Name Danger

¿Por qué? = Why?

Porque = Because.

I read this site every day and I love David’s humorous style of writing.
I also enjoy reading the comments, you are all so so good at it and with some links very educational.

And of course, Cats. We have 13.

Lukas Xavier
Lukas Xavier
3 years ago

…the shemale question proves that pussy is no longer the great cultural trump card women have over the male species.

Great. You’ve won. Now fuck off and leave us alone.

Zampano
Zampano
3 years ago

So much closet in one small article….

Pylo, can you fucking not?

Cyberwulf
Cyberwulf
3 years ago

It’s cute that these individuals still think women want or need them.

Violet the Vile, Owner of an Ideologically Weaponized Vagina
Violet the Vile, Owner of an Ideologically Weaponized Vagina
3 years ago

OMG

I’ve been looking for something to add to my nym. Thanks Jimbo!

Violet the Vile, Possessor of an Ideologically Weaponized Vagina
Violet the Vile, Possessor of an Ideologically Weaponized Vagina
3 years ago

Actually, I think I like “possessor” better

Mish of the Catlady Ascendancy
Mish of the Catlady Ascendancy
3 years ago

@Violet the Vile, Possessor of an Ideologically Weaponized Vagina

I agree with the slight nym change. It is even more fabulous now. Congrats!

@Alan,
Um … wow. Textbook Nice Guy. That poor young woman.

@Moggie,
I had Solanas thrown at me on Twitter recently (again). Why doesn’t anyone ever throw, say, Judith Butler at me? Now that would be wonderful…

Weatherwax
Weatherwax
3 years ago

@Alan

That was in no way predictable. /s

Moggie
Moggie
3 years ago

Alan:

Whooda seen this coming?

I kinda suspected we’d be hearing something like this. The guy is in a downward spiral where the best outcome is him losing his job and becoming unemployable in the sector. But I fear he’ll show up in a murder/suicide news report before long.

I took a look at the sub, and I’m glad to see that every response to that rant is against his behaviour.

Buttercup Q. Skullpants
Buttercup Q. Skullpants
3 years ago

biological celebrity

Well, at least they’re moving beyond the gender binary.

Mike!
Mike!
3 years ago

Have there been any openly transgender actors/actresses on network TV besides Doubt’s Laverne Cox? I’m thinking she has to be close to the first. Duchovny on Twin Peaks doesn’t count, because the character’s trans, but the actor still prefers male pronouns. I think I’d like Laverne to be the first, as she seemed to be really great as a guest judge on AGT.

Off the top of my head, Jamie Clayton from Sense8. OitNB came first, though.

Predating even Denise on Twin Peaks, though, there was Billy Crystal’s character on Soap, Jodie. He wasn’t trans, but he almost underwent reassignment surgery so he could marry his boyfriend at one point. The whole arc was a pretty big deal for late 70s primetime.

Hu's On First
Hu's On First
3 years ago

@Alan

That guy must listen to “Don’t You Want Me” by the Human League way too often.

Surplus to Requirements, Observer of the Vast Blight-Wing Enstupidation
Surplus to Requirements, Observer of the Vast Blight-Wing Enstupidation
3 years ago

Erm, neither Sense8 nor OitNB are network TV, unless my cable service is suddenly dropping a whole lot of channels. I’ve never seen either while channel surfing.

Mike!
Mike!
3 years ago

Erm, neither Sense8 nor OitNB are network TV, unless my cable service is suddenly dropping a whole lot of channels. I’ve never seen either while channel surfing.

Sorry, missed that word when responding. I guess I was just thinking of TV in general.