“Biological females” are so awful men are turning to “tr*nnies,” Return of Kings declares

By David Futrelle

On the lady-hating internet crap site Return of Kings, a fellow called Jimbo Jones is pig-biting mad about the widespread assumption “that men are so beholden to the vagina that their every action can be manipulated through their (heterosexual) desires … .”

It’s an idea as old, he notes, as Aristophanes’ sex-strike play Lysistrata, and as current as rapper Brooke Candy’s 2013 song “Pussy Makes the Rules.”

As Jimbo sees it, this cultural trope is as evil and pernicious as feminism itself. “There’s nothing innocuous about extolling the virtues of an ideologically weaponized vagina,” he harrumphs,

nor is there anything innocent about encouraging listeners to turn their sex organs into methods of controlling, manipulating and domineering over other people.

But now, he argues with barely concealed glee, some men are starting to make a sort of end-run around the vagina, “abandon[ing] women altogether [to] pursue the embrace of males pretending to be female.” And so, he says, you find an increasing number of “straight” men — the scare quotes are his — who are chasing after

drag queens, crossdressers, fembois, male-to-female transsexuals, t-girls, shemales and—perhaps most notably—traps (that being, men who dress as women who don’t tell their partners their real gender, oftentimes with the hopes of “converting” their boyfriends into full-time homosexuality) … .

While Jimbo is quick to assure his readers that he’s not one of these men, he also makes clear that he can sorta see where they’re coming from. Their allegedly newfound interest in what he calls “males pretending to be female” is a “wholly predictable response” to the fact that today’s “biological … females” are a bunch of mean fatties who think they’re all that.

“[W]omen today are nowhere near as attractive as they were 20 years ago,” Jimbo declares.

The Great Big Lie of third wave feminism … has convinced women that it’s okay to be morbidly obese, dyke-ish, adverse to even basic forms of hygiene and walk around with full blown mustaches, and that men will just have to change their own preconceived notions of beauty and roll with it. After all, women do have the vaginas, don’t they, and men will do anything to spill their precious seed inside them, even if it means bumping uglies with a 400-pound, smelly, tatted up Skankasaurus, right?

If anything, the rise of the femboi/trap subculture is a direct reactionary statement to the defeminization of the American woman. 

Heck, even the totally-straight-not-fooling-around-with-this-stuff Jimbo thinks that some trans porn stars are actually prettier than women he considers especially ugly.

There’s no denying it: a transsexual porn star like Sarina Valentina is unquestionably more attractive than a “real feminist” like Andrea Dworkin, while cam-tr*nny jerk-off queen Paige James is inarguably prettier than such loud and proud biological celebrity females as Lena Dunham and Leslie Jones.

Also, he adds, they’re “thinner and cleaner” than your typical feminist.

While Jimbo can’t quite decide just how gay he thinks men who have sex with “tr*nnies” really are — he thinks they’re at least a little gay — he’s pretty sure they’re basically driven to this “degeneracy” by the toxic awfulness of “real” women.

What else would drive a man who is sexually attracted to the female form into the arms, crotch and buttocks of another man with synthetic tits, a wig, and $200 worth of makeup on his face? …

Just how hideous do women have to get—physically and behaviorally—for men to say no thanks to pussy in favor of a good old fashioned rectal hammering? How can you even begin to comprehend how such fringe fetishist subcultures even came to exist without first acknowledging that women did something very, very wrong in the first place?

Since “women did something very, very wrong” is pretty much the standard Return of Kings explanation for everything they think is wrong with the world, it’s hardly surprising to see Jimbo trot it out as the explanation for why many men find trans women attractive — and some outright fetishize them.

Jimbo is torn between thinking this is wrong and gay — and thinking it’s great that “tr*nny chasers” are (at least in his fantasies) undercutting cis women in the sexual marketplace. “[A]s deplorable and decadent as it may be, ” he writes,

the shemale question proves that pussy is no longer the great cultural trump card women have over the male species. Then again, feminists only have themselves to blame for their own obsolescence: if sex is literally all you have to offer, wasn’t it just a matter of time until men found a way to get it cheaper, easier and without all of the tribal-politics nonsense?

But any of Jimbo’s readers who see sex with trans women as an ingenious solution to their inability to convince cis women to have sex with them, I hate to have to break it to you: If you’re the kind of guy who sees Roosh V’s Return of Kings as a fount of knowledge, trans women are going to find you just as repulsive as the cis women you so despise do.