By David Futrelle
It’s been another busy 24 hours in Trumpmerica. Reince Priebus is out, Trump is literally advocating police brutality, and Pickle is a Real Boy.
Let’s go to the tweets:
https://twitter.com/pattymo/status/891041759899394049
Reince Priebus will return to his old job, transforming into a rat to escape Harry Potter.
— Mike Drucker (@MikeDrucker) July 28, 2017
Anagrams for Reince Priebus:
Urine Crib Seep
Epic Risen Rube
I Snub Pee Crier
Recipes Be Ruin
Burp Ice, I Sneer
I Rub Nice Peers— David Futrelle (@DavidFutrelle) July 29, 2017
After I wrote that I realized “Pee Crier Snub I” was far more accurate.
Hey, it’s the president urging cops to be more abusive!
https://twitter.com/VicBergerIV/status/891007854785818625
https://twitter.com/ParkerMolloy/status/891131743444635653
I used @darth 's image for this one: pic.twitter.com/TzFL1pLcRG
— Dimensional Tourist RazzleDazzleRootBeer (@RazzleDazzleRtB) July 29, 2017
Trump's White House is so terminally ill, I'm surprised Gingrich hasn't tried to divorce it. https://t.co/zcTzurqOOh
— David Slack (@slack2thefuture) July 29, 2017
Trump's old tweets are like Hallmark cards. There really is one for every occasion. pic.twitter.com/Wjkt9irHGh
— shauna (@goldengateblond) July 29, 2017
In what may be the most surprising news of this weird week, it turns out that the 9-year-old kid who wrote to Trump is … real.
https://twitter.com/pattymo/status/891373528498524165
Meanwhile, Trump himself checks in from Bizarro Earth:
In other words, Russia was against Trump in the 2016 Election – and why not, I want strong military & low oil prices. Witch Hunt! https://t.co/mMSxj4Su5z
— Donald J. Trump (@realDonaldTrump) July 29, 2017
A now-iconic scene gets a new soundtrack:
https://twitter.com/ParkerMolloy/status/891003576625106945
And a raccoon gives us this lovely dramatization of the myth of Sisyphus:
https://twitter.com/zboah/status/891337664405934080
I will leave you with this, which somehow takes two wonderful things and turns them into pure horror:
https://twitter.com/EmrgencyKittens/status/891157592894033920
I think we need a new way to measure time. This 24 hours in a day, 7 days in a week thing is just not getting the feel right.
I know there are more pressing and obvious criticisms of Trump but is anyone else resisting the urged to yell out “It’s chiefS of staff!”
(I’m usually the first to harump at criticisms based on people’s spelling and grammar, but he could afford someone to check this stuff)
I know there are more pressing and obvious criticisms of Trump but is anyone else resisting the urged to yell out “It’s chiefS of staff!”
(I’m usually the first to harumph at criticisms based on people’s spelling and grammar, but he could afford someone to check this stuff)
ETA: Way things are going, in another six months there’s a good chance that kid will be chief of staff.
Well, Alan, you know Trump is never, ever wrong, and his Tweets are official WH proclamations, so indeed, and indubitably, it shall be Chief of StaffS, now, until the end of time, forever and ever, Amen.
Holy shut! I won’t say that Trump is the stupidest man to ever be president of the US- because it’s been done so many times before, but, Idiot- police officers do not push arrestees into their cars by the head to be nice to them. It’s to ducking protect themselves.
Who thinks being pushed by the head is a courtesy? The same clueless mook who thought “moved in on her like a bitch” is normal guy talk
I thought the obvious anagram was “ecru penis Brie”.
I counter your pizza cat with coffee cat
https://mobile.twitter.com/EmrgencyKittens/status/853202759717408768
Farewell, Ranch Pringles. We tried to tell y’all!
So, Trump fires the establishment, rallies the uniformed masses (from cops to the fuckin boy scouts), surrounds himself with military personel, erases undesirables from the military, allies with Russia, and makes his top advisor a movie and propaganda expert. But calling him a fascist, let alone a full on goddamn nazi, is somehow hyperbolic, is it?
@PeeVee
You forgot his favorite part: For thine is the KINGDOM and the POWER and the GLO-
http://www.zerohedge.com/sites/default/files/images/user5/imageroot/2017/07/20/skinny%20senate_0.jpg
Nevermind…
My fingers are crossed that Trump fires Pence in a fit of rage. It would help to remove a dangerous bigot from office and harm the political career of an orange fascist.
That last one with McTortoise and the “Curb Your Enthusiasm” music is fucking GOLD.
I’m pretty sure that the vice president can’t be fired by the president since it’s an elected position. I think they can only be impeached. I could be wrong though.
Indeed. Because the role has a weird constitutional history it’s a bit of an anomaly. Takes a vote of the House and Senate to remove.
We’re basically watching The Apprentice: Whitehouse Edition
All I heard from the whiny GOPers for eight years was how inexperienced Obama was, even thought he had 3 terms in the Illinois State Senate and 1 in the US Senate…and yet we’re all supposed to give this buffoon a pass because “he’s learning on the job”?
IDGAF. Get him the fuck out!
Omg, I detest this asshole.
@Axe: *sad trombone in McConnell’s general direction*
@dreemr: can we possibly tell HIM, “You’re Fired!”? Because he’d be the first to flap his lips to get rid of someone as inept as *he* is.
I’m still waiting for him to make good on his “joke” and fire Tom Price because Trump doesn’t understand how Separation of Powers works.
Urine Crib Seep, indeed. 😀
WHtM is giving me flashbacks to my childhood today – first a discussion of schooling methods! Next, goofy anagrams! (Anagrams were basically my childhood. That, and doodling in margins.)
Honestly, at this point, merely firing the shitweasel isn’t enough. He and his entire family need to be stripped of their wealth and thrown in jail for a few decades.
Not for life, though; they need to be let out so they can live the rest of their lives in abject poverty.
Alan, I won’t tolerate this criticism of Trump’s grammar. I have have it on good authority that he has the best words.
WHERE’S PICKLES’ BIRTH CERTIFICATE??
HE CRISIS ACTOR!
SAD!!!!
@Gaebolga
Uh, no, absolutely not. Advocate doing whatever the hell you like to Trump, I don’t care, but don’t bring his poor children into this. It isn’t their fault. They shouldn’t be forced to *live in poverty* or be *thrown into jail* because their father is an asshole. Crimes of the father, indeed!
I mean, you could even argue against Ivanka if you want, but absolutely do NOT advocate for violence or cruelty against Barron. He’s only a young boy. No-one deserves to be punished with poverty because their father is a scumbag, holy shit.
Sorry if I come across as agressive. It’s not my intention. It’s just nothing gets my blood boiling more than when folks attack Trump’s children, especially his youngest! And honestly, as someone who has lived in some pretty dire conditions, I wouldn’t wish poverty on anyone. Especially not a child.
Well, I admit I thought Obama’s two-thirds of a term in the Senate was less experience than Clinton’s eight years. And he kept trying to work across the aisle far longer than I thought he needed to. But I admit I’m privileged in this regard, and also soured on bipartisanship after the Rs spent an entire decade trying to deep-six the Clinton presidency.
I never thought Obama was incapable of learning the job and hitting the ground running.
First thought: ‘police should be ‘not so nice’ to prisoners. Is his head really that far up his keester?
Second thought: that first thought was stupid. We’ve known his head really is that far up his keester since before he assumed office.
Can I get out of the rabbit hole please?
Wooly, I can’t decide if you’re a troll or not, but no one really wants to throw Bannon in jail. Eric, Don Jr and Ivanka, tho, are adults and up to their necks in the corruption, esp. Jr.
Shut up, Woody.
@David
Good to have you back!
You mean Barron, not Bannon.
We (decent people) all want to have Bannon thrown in jail. And by “jail,” I mean “dungeon.” Naturally. But yes, as per Gaebolga, they should be let out so they can live in poverty. I might be willing to compromise on the “abject” part. That’s because I’m a super, super nice person.
My ETA got cut off.
I vote “troll” for Wooly because although I’ve read speculation about Barron, I’ve never read attacks on this boy, who has the rotten luck to be Trump’s son.
I’ve also not read any attacks on any member of the Trump family who isn’t neck-deep in corruption.
So Wooly isn’t just a troll — Wooly is that notorious subspecies of troll, the concern troll.
Ick.