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Pee Crier Snub I: Today in Tweets

Goodnight, sweet Reince!

By David Futrelle

It’s been another busy 24 hours in Trumpmerica. Reince Priebus is out, Trump is literally advocating police brutality, and Pickle is a Real Boy.

Let’s go to the tweets:

https://twitter.com/pattymo/status/891041759899394049

After I wrote that I realized “Pee Crier Snub I” was far more accurate.

Hey, it’s the president urging cops to be more abusive!

https://twitter.com/VicBergerIV/status/891007854785818625

https://twitter.com/ParkerMolloy/status/891131743444635653

In what may be the most surprising news of this weird week, it turns out that the 9-year-old kid who wrote to Trump is … real.

https://twitter.com/pattymo/status/891373528498524165

Meanwhile, Trump himself checks in from Bizarro Earth:

A now-iconic scene gets a new soundtrack:

https://twitter.com/ParkerMolloy/status/891003576625106945

And a raccoon gives us this lovely dramatization of the myth of Sisyphus:

https://twitter.com/zboah/status/891337664405934080

I will leave you with this, which somehow takes two wonderful things and turns them into pure horror:

https://twitter.com/EmrgencyKittens/status/891157592894033920

 

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Scarlett Athena
Scarlett Athena
3 years ago

I think we need a new way to measure time. This 24 hours in a day, 7 days in a week thing is just not getting the feel right.

Alan Robertshaw
Alan Robertshaw
3 years ago

I know there are more pressing and obvious criticisms of Trump but is anyone else resisting the urged to yell out “It’s chiefS of staff!”

(I’m usually the first to harump at criticisms based on people’s spelling and grammar, but he could afford someone to check this stuff)

Alan Robertshaw
Alan Robertshaw
3 years ago

I know there are more pressing and obvious criticisms of Trump but is anyone else resisting the urged to yell out “It’s chiefS of staff!”

(I’m usually the first to harumph at criticisms based on people’s spelling and grammar, but he could afford someone to check this stuff)

ETA: Way things are going, in another six months there’s a good chance that kid will be chief of staff.

PeeVee the (Perpetually Ignored, Invisible but Noice) Sarcastic
PeeVee the (Perpetually Ignored, Invisible but Noice) Sarcastic
3 years ago

Well, Alan, you know Trump is never, ever wrong, and his Tweets are official WH proclamations, so indeed, and indubitably, it shall be Chief of StaffS, now, until the end of time, forever and ever, Amen.

hesum7
hesum7
3 years ago

Holy shut! I won’t say that Trump is the stupidest man to ever be president of the US- because it’s been done so many times before, but, Idiot- police officers do not push arrestees into their cars by the head to be nice to them. It’s to ducking protect themselves.

Who thinks being pushed by the head is a courtesy? The same clueless mook who thought “moved in on her like a bitch” is normal guy talk

Austin Loomis
3 years ago

I thought the obvious anagram was “ecru penis Brie”.

Axecalibur: Middle Name Danger
Axecalibur: Middle Name Danger
3 years ago

I counter your pizza cat with coffee cat
https://mobile.twitter.com/EmrgencyKittens/status/853202759717408768

Farewell, Ranch Pringles. We tried to tell y’all!

So, Trump fires the establishment, rallies the uniformed masses (from cops to the fuckin boy scouts), surrounds himself with military personel, erases undesirables from the military, allies with Russia, and makes his top advisor a movie and propaganda expert. But calling him a fascist, let alone a full on goddamn nazi, is somehow hyperbolic, is it?

@PeeVee

forever and ever, Amen

You forgot his favorite part: For thine is the KINGDOM and the POWER and the GLO-
http://www.zerohedge.com/sites/default/files/images/user5/imageroot/2017/07/20/skinny%20senate_0.jpg
Nevermind…

Dan Kasteray
Dan Kasteray
3 years ago

My fingers are crossed that Trump fires Pence in a fit of rage. It would help to remove a dangerous bigot from office and harm the political career of an orange fascist.

dreemr
dreemr
3 years ago

That last one with McTortoise and the “Curb Your Enthusiasm” music is fucking GOLD.

weirwoodtreehugger: chief manatee

I’m pretty sure that the vice president can’t be fired by the president since it’s an elected position. I think they can only be impeached. I could be wrong though.

Alan Robertshaw
Alan Robertshaw
3 years ago

I’m pretty sure that the vice president can’t be fired by the president

Indeed. Because the role has a weird constitutional history it’s a bit of an anomaly. Takes a vote of the House and Senate to remove.

dreemr
dreemr
3 years ago

We’re basically watching The Apprentice: Whitehouse Edition

PeeVee the (Perpetually Ignored, Invisible but Noice) Sarcastic
PeeVee the (Perpetually Ignored, Invisible but Noice) Sarcastic
3 years ago

All I heard from the whiny GOPers for eight years was how inexperienced Obama was, even thought he had 3 terms in the Illinois State Senate and 1 in the US Senate…and yet we’re all supposed to give this buffoon a pass because “he’s learning on the job”?

IDGAF. Get him the fuck out!

Omg, I detest this asshole.

@Axe: *sad trombone in McConnell’s general direction*

@dreemr: can we possibly tell HIM, “You’re Fired!”? Because he’d be the first to flap his lips to get rid of someone as inept as *he* is.

JS
JS
3 years ago

I’m still waiting for him to make good on his “joke” and fire Tom Price because Trump doesn’t understand how Separation of Powers works.

epitome of incomprehensibility

Urine Crib Seep, indeed. 😀

WHtM is giving me flashbacks to my childhood today – first a discussion of schooling methods! Next, goofy anagrams! (Anagrams were basically my childhood. That, and doodling in margins.)

Gaebolga
Gaebolga
3 years ago

Honestly, at this point, merely firing the shitweasel isn’t enough. He and his entire family need to be stripped of their wealth and thrown in jail for a few decades.

Not for life, though; they need to be let out so they can live the rest of their lives in abject poverty.

brian
brian
3 years ago

Alan, I won’t tolerate this criticism of Trump’s grammar. I have have it on good authority that he has the best words.

Tosca; Chaos made Flesh, Servant of the Purring Jew
Tosca; Chaos made Flesh, Servant of the Purring Jew
3 years ago

WHERE’S PICKLES’ BIRTH CERTIFICATE??

HE CRISIS ACTOR!

SAD!!!!

Wooly
Wooly
3 years ago

@Gaebolga

Uh, no, absolutely not. Advocate doing whatever the hell you like to Trump, I don’t care, but don’t bring his poor children into this. It isn’t their fault. They shouldn’t be forced to *live in poverty* or be *thrown into jail* because their father is an asshole. Crimes of the father, indeed!

I mean, you could even argue against Ivanka if you want, but absolutely do NOT advocate for violence or cruelty against Barron. He’s only a young boy. No-one deserves to be punished with poverty because their father is a scumbag, holy shit.

Sorry if I come across as agressive. It’s not my intention. It’s just nothing gets my blood boiling more than when folks attack Trump’s children, especially his youngest! And honestly, as someone who has lived in some pretty dire conditions, I wouldn’t wish poverty on anyone. Especially not a child.

Falconer
Falconer
3 years ago

Well, I admit I thought Obama’s two-thirds of a term in the Senate was less experience than Clinton’s eight years. And he kept trying to work across the aisle far longer than I thought he needed to. But I admit I’m privileged in this regard, and also soured on bipartisanship after the Rs spent an entire decade trying to deep-six the Clinton presidency.

I never thought Obama was incapable of learning the job and hitting the ground running.

joekster (Bearded Beta)
joekster (Bearded Beta)
3 years ago

First thought: ‘police should be ‘not so nice’ to prisoners. Is his head really that far up his keester?

Second thought: that first thought was stupid. We’ve known his head really is that far up his keester since before he assumed office.

Can I get out of the rabbit hole please?

Troubelle: Moonbeam Malcontent + Bard of the New Movement
Troubelle: Moonbeam Malcontent + Bard of the New Movement
3 years ago

Shut up, Woody.

Kat, representative of the feminist government in exile
Kat, representative of the feminist government in exile
3 years ago

@David
Good to have you back!

You mean Barron, not Bannon.

We (decent people) all want to have Bannon thrown in jail. And by “jail,” I mean “dungeon.” Naturally. But yes, as per Gaebolga, they should be let out so they can live in poverty. I might be willing to compromise on the “abject” part. That’s because I’m a super, super nice person.

Kat, representative of the feminist government in exile
Kat, representative of the feminist government in exile
3 years ago

My ETA got cut off.

I vote “troll” for Wooly because although I’ve read speculation about Barron, I’ve never read attacks on this boy, who has the rotten luck to be Trump’s son.

I’ve also not read any attacks on any member of the Trump family who isn’t neck-deep in corruption.

So Wooly isn’t just a troll — Wooly is that notorious subspecies of troll, the concern troll.

Ick.

kupo
kupo
3 years ago

@Wooly
How is it fair to all the millions of children who currently live in poverty or have parents in prison? Why should Barron be protected from that life when no one else is?

Arctic Ape
Arctic Ape
3 years ago

First thought: ‘police should be ‘not so nice’ to prisoners. Is his head really that far up his keester?

If there’s one thing Trump’s good at, it’s telling people what they want to hear. It can work as a political strategy for some time but eventually everyone will be disappointed at you. Trump seems to be genuinely surprised and frustrated by this.

The scary and depressing thing is what certain audiences want to hear.

Sinkable John : Pansy Ass Pinko, Regicidal Beast-of-Burden
Sinkable John : Pansy Ass Pinko, Regicidal Beast-of-Burden
3 years ago

No-one deserves to be punished with poverty because their father is a scumbag, holy shit.

I chuckled. Didja know you can cook noodles in a kettle ? It also works for bathwater, as long as you’ve got something larger to act as the tub.

I learned all that when my scumbag father threw my mother and me under the poverty bus. Still a better life than I would’ve had with him. And whatever happens, Barron will never have to learn any of that stuff. He’s insured against poverty for life, no matter what, because that’s what crank welfare is for. Only way he’d lose it is if he grows up to be a decent person – and with that family, I think he’s pretty safe.

So uh, yeah, forgive me but empathy’s a precious and limited resource, and I’m already spending all of mine on, y’know, all those other kids who already do live in poverty because Barron’s father is a scumbag.

Nobody Special
Nobody Special
3 years ago

All of those piling on Wooly with accusations of trolling really ought to read the comment that Wooly was responding to, namely

Gaebolga
July 29, 2017 at 7:15 pm
Honestly, at this point, merely firing the shitweasel isn’t enough. He and his entire family need to be stripped of their wealth and thrown in jail for a few decades.

Not for life, though; they need to be let out so they can live the rest of their lives in abject poverty.

To suggest as Wooly did that Barron – who is undeniably part of the ‘entire family’ – not be judged for the crimes and corruptions of the adults in the family sounds reasonable to me.

Weatherwax
Weatherwax
3 years ago

@Alan

is anyone else resisting the urged to yell out “It’s chiefS of staff!”

The only reason I didn’t is I’m on a train (and far too British to make myself that kind of public spectacle).

Alan Robertshaw
Alan Robertshaw
3 years ago

@ weatherwax

The only reason I didn’t is I’m on a train (and far too British to make myself that kind of public spectacle).

The much missed Victoria Wood did a lovely bit about British people completely ignoring a couple having sex on a train; until they lit up afterwards and someone tapped the sign and said “Excuse me, I think you’ll find this is a ‘No Smoking’ carriage.”

dslucia
dslucia
3 years ago

all those other kids who already do live in poverty because Barron’s father is a scumbag.

Saying that Trump is single-handedly responsible for poverty in the US is, um, a bit much. Sure, he hasn’t been helping things his entire life and he’s a great example of the things that do lead to so many people living in poverty, but he’s hardly the reason behind it.

EDIT: Like, I’m not intending to defend Trump at all, but there are much bigger reasons why kids grow up in poverty than because he’s a bigoted idiot who inherited a lot of money.

Ellesar
Ellesar
3 years ago

Saying that Trump is single-handedly responsible for poverty in the US is, um, a bit much.

Yes, seems like a kneejerk reductionist reaction.

Scildfreja Unnyðnes
Scildfreja Unnyðnes
3 years ago

I think John was talking about the people that Donald Trump has stiffed on payment, workers thrown out on the street when he declared bankruptcy on businesses to protect his own wealth; that sort of thing. I don’t think John was suggesting that Trump was responsible for all poverty in the USA, just a slice of it. (Inducted by principle of charitable interpretation)

Sinkable John : Pansy Ass Pinko, Regicidal Beast-of-Burden
Sinkable John : Pansy Ass Pinko, Regicidal Beast-of-Burden
3 years ago

@dslucia & Ellesar

I was actually referring to the practices of the Great Businessman (TM) before he got elected. I’m not saying he created poverty, but that he’s already inflicted it on many people and is now trying his damn best to do it to many, many more.

Though yeah I could’ve said so in the first place.

As for little Barron, I’m pretty sure no one who uses “the entire Trump family” as a short-hand for the people in that family who are proven pieces of shit (that is, pretty much almost all of them) actually includes him when they’re mentionning the things they’d like to see happen to them. Because yeah, punishing a scumbag but also their entire family whether or not they’re innocent or even of adult age is not something we do – it’s what Trump wants to do.

Besides the kid’s already been punished enough by being named after his scumbag father’s ego-stroking sockpuppet.

mildlymagnificent
mildlymagnificent
3 years ago

Getting back to Chief of Staff business. Am I the only one who wants to be a fly on the wall when decades-as-a-Marines-officer Kelly turns up and tells Trump he wants proper organisation?

What would Trumpelthinskin do-think-say when Kelly presents him with an organisation chart and an explicit requirement that _this_ Chief of Staff intends to be a _real_ Chief of Staff. No one randomly wanders into the Oval Office, everyone must make a specific appointment, give advance notice, or otherwise go through Kelly. (One little thing I heard today, until Nixon’s time the job was called Appointments Secretary. Nixon preferred the more military sounding Chief of Staff.)

It’d be good to watch Scaramucci, Kushner, Bannon, Miller and the rest of the motley crew respond to a demand that they behave as though they work for a president. At the moment they seem to live in a mannerless dorm where people wander in and out of each other’s rooms without knocking. Having a grown up like Kelly calling the shots will be a huge change (if he can pull it off).

dslucia
dslucia
3 years ago

@Scildfreja:

Even reading it that way (which, admittedly, is probably closer to what was intended), Trump is still more a symptom of the problem rather than the reason behind the problem itself.

But I guess that’s getting into really pedantic territory and there isn’t a reason to not be mad at Trump for being part of the problem, so I’ll drop it.

dslucia
dslucia
3 years ago

@John:

Yeah, sorry, I get it, I just have a habit of bristling at generalizations and simplifications. I spend too much time arguing with gamerbros.

Scildfreja Unnyðnes
Scildfreja Unnyðnes
3 years ago

Totally agreed that Trump represents an enormous symptom of some very deep problems! Tossing him and his family in jail wouldn’t fix it. However, this doesn’t mean that Trump isn’t entirely personally responsible for that poverty and misery he’s caused, so jail time is just.

Also, I don’t really think it’d affect Barron Trump one bit. Far as I know Melania hasn’t been a horrible monster worthy of jail time, so Barron would still have his mother. In other words, things would barely change for the kid at all, I imagine. Poor kid, though :C

EDIT: I totally get the issue with frequent interactions with gamerbros, and the urge to fight for every little semantic scrap of turf. Eugh.

Virgin Mary
Virgin Mary
3 years ago

Once Barron gets to 18, he’ll get initiated into some secret society bullshit. He should be removed from the Trump household at once for his safety. He’s an ‘at risk’ child.

Sinkable John : Pansy Ass Pinko, Regicidal Beast-of-Burden
Sinkable John : Pansy Ass Pinko, Regicidal Beast-of-Burden
3 years ago

@dslucia and Scildfreja

I just have a habit of bristling at generalizations and simplifications. I spend too much time arguing with gamerbros.

I totally get the issue with frequent interactions with gamerbros, and the urge to fight for every little semantic scrap of turf. Eugh.

Unfortunately, I completely get it. *shudders*

kupo
kupo
3 years ago

I think Trump is more than just a symptom. I think that creating poverty in others is a feature of his business model, rather than a bug.

GrumpyOld SocialJusticeMangina
GrumpyOld SocialJusticeMangina
3 years ago

One of my college classmates was David Rockefeller’s daughter (I never met her). She was a vocal opponent of the Vietnam War and of her father’s support of it, and as an adult she dropped the Rockefeller name (not by getting married and taking a new last name), but by simply going from Margaret Dulany Rockefeller to Peggy Dulany. So there’s hope for Barron — if someday you hear of a philanthropist named Barron Knaus, you can cheer. (I think Melania is probably doing her best with him — the danger is that she’ll dote on him too much because she has a poor relationship with his father.)

I think the best way to think of Trump is that he’s an expert in taking turds, covering them with gold paint, stamping “TRUMP” on them, and selling them to gullible people. He’s simply a Gilded Turd Salesman.

Hambeast, disorderly she-tornado and breaker of windows
Hambeast, disorderly she-tornado and breaker of windows
3 years ago

Alan – US presidents have been known to take a new running mate when they do the re-election thing, so that’s allowed. NOT THAT WE WANT ANOTHER TRUMP TERM!!* Also, doing that is not without its pitfalls politically.

joekster – Nice to see you again!

*Or even another campaign, for that matter.

Hypatia's Daughter
Hypatia's Daughter
3 years ago

Possibly, Trump is playing out his own version of “15 minutes of fame”.
By the time he is out of office, he will have appointed everyone in the US to a position in the White House ……. for at least 15 minutes.

JS
JS
3 years ago

@mildlymagnificent re: Kelly

I could see Kelly trying to do something like that, working to bring better organizational prowess to the WH, and being defeated at every turn by Trump doing something dumb again. Ooooh! I just realized that can be made to scan like a slogan lots of people have heard recently…

“Do Something Dumb Again” doesn’t quite have the right number of syllables, but it might work.

Oh, and it’s too late to avoid another Trump campaign, he’s already started on the Boy Scouts, many of whom will be old enough to vote in 3 years. *This* is why I recently decided to work harder to understand and fight this regime. 40000 young men from all around the country, going back to their (usually Republican) parents to say how great it was to hear from Trump, when Obama didn’t even show up.

JS
JS
3 years ago

Not all of them will be dumb enough to fall for that, but enough will to spread Trump’s message yet again.

Finding out about that speech made me the angriest I’ve gotten in years.

Note: Obama was busy in the White House, getting things done for the country, and still made time for a much less political video presentation to the boys at the previous ones.

dslucia
dslucia
3 years ago

@kupo:

I think that creating poverty in others is a feature of his business model, rather than a bug.

What I was getting at is that it’s not something he invented, or is even the worst example of in the US. It’s a problem the US has had for a long time, that’s more a feature of big business in the US in general rather than with regards to Trump specifically.

But that doesn’t mean people shouldn’t hold him accountable for the things he has specifically done, so *shrug*