By David Futrelle
The Federalist — the tradcon clickbait site with the oddly wonky name — has won itself a vast audience of hate-readers by posting some of the most ridiculously backward crap on gender you’re likely to find outside of Return of Kings. Federalist posts regularly go viral on the sheer strength of their stupidity.
Well, it looks like they’ve got another potential hit on their hands, a post with the lovely title “How Acting Like A Feminist Can Ruin Your Marriage.” The writer, a self-described “homeschooling mother of four [with] a doctorate in philosophy from the Catholic University of America” named Carrie Gress, is worried that feminism is making women too girl-powery to be attractive to men.
“Women today are supposed to ‘be bold and assertive,'” she writes, “but could all this girl-power actually undermine our best efforts at finding marital bliss?”
You can probably guess how she answers this question.
Feminism has ushered in a near-universal trend for women to “just one of the boys” or to be better than the boys. It is reflected in our sarcasm, sexual habits, attire, and goals. A recent study found that women are now dropping the f-bomb more than men.
“Fight like a girl,” “Strong is the new pretty,” and “Find your fierce” may sound nice, but we have to ask if they have led women to happiness or an endless fluctuation between ferocity and victimhood.
It’s fairly familiar stuff so far, but Gress breaks new ground with her suggestions on how women can learn how to be the traditional “country girls” of every man’s alleged dreams. It involves Italian poetry, the Grateful Dead, and … Sting. Yes, that Sting.
You can learn a lot if you listen to men when they don’t know we are listening: poetry and music.
From the dawn of time, men croon about particular attributes especially found in women: loyalty, sweetness, a calming presence, kindness, thoughtfulness. Looking past lyrics dripping with lust, a pattern emerges. Dante, the Beatles, Elvis, James Taylor, Sting, The Grateful Dead, Tim McGraw, and on and on—all speak of loving a truthful, kind, loyal, soulful woman who brings them peace. There has been no love song dedicated to a nagging, angry, self-absorbed woman.
Well, none that I can think of offhand. Can any of you think of some? If not, well, there’s literally nothing stopping anyone from writing songs like this and maybe posting them here hint hint nudge nudge knowhatImean?
Also, I’m not quite sure that Mrs. Gress has been listening all that carefully to Beatles lyrics, because if she had been she surely would have noticed that, in addition to writing assorted silly love songs, the Beatles also wrote songs about:
- Setting a woman’s house on fire because she says no to sex
- Murdering a woman for being unfaithful
- Randomly murdering one’s date because why not?
So I’m not sure Beatles lyrics are necessarily the best guide on how to live a happy life as a woman.
Oh, and the worst bit in the Beatles’ Run for Your Life — “I’d rather see you dead, little girl/ Than to be with another man” — was ripped off word-for-word from an Elvis song, so I don’t think Elvis is necessarily the best guide either.
I would say something about Sting’s lyrics as well, but, come on, there’s no way I’m going to voluntarily go and read a bunch of Sting lyrics. Every Breath You Take is pretty creepy, though. Don’t base your life on that.
@ penny
I have a bit of a thing about this motiff:
It crops up in all sorts of places; but there does seem to be a Silk Road connection. One rather prosaic explanation is that it was the trademark of a Chinese silk manufacturer.
But I love all those cross fertilisation vs convergent evolution theories as to belief systems and mythology. Of course we often forget today just how much traveling and intermingling there was in the ancient world.
A useful tip an archaeologist friend gave me was, when looking at maps, to ‘swap’ the sea and the land. Oftentimes sea travel was so much easier than crossing land. Hence Cornwall had a shared culture with Brittany, whereas East Anglia might as well have been on Mars.
@ Buttercup
Oh, yes, there’s definitely tons of superiority and judgment in there. And fear that people who don’t make the same choices won’t get punished for it.
Yeah, John Donne wrote a few of them.
@frances – Interesting. Any examples you have in mind? I always thought of Donne as cynical about love – the women in his poems tend to be cheating, fickle, and faintly ridiculous. He was the MGTOW answer to Petrarch’s icy, remote mistresses.
@dust bunny – Yes, and it’s always funny how they frame the punishment in their own terms. Careful, ladies – rock stars won’t objectify you in a song if you keep up that behavior!
@ frances & Buttercup
Well John Donne was hardly reliable. 😉
http://old.worldatlas.com/webimage/countrys/europe/unitedkingdom/ukpics/descriptionpics/ukmansml.gif
In early New England, settlements were mostly on the coast or close to navigable rivers, because — unlike today — water travel was so much easier than land travel.
@Buttercup I was thinking of this one in particular
@Alan lol
Nthing everyone else in asking how these things and feminism are somehow mutually exclusive.
Like, I can be loyal, sweet, have a “calming presence”, kind, and thoughtful, and still think that I’m worthy of the same rights and respect as my fellow non-femme humans.
I’m a Hufflepuff, fer fuck’s sake. Loyalty’s our thing.
Are you all seeing that tweet from Cernovich over in the sidebar?
Here’s the link, before it goes away
https://twitter.com/AmirAminiMD/status/891463481236520961/photo/1
Think any of the MRAs who profess to be concerned about false rape accusations are going to call Juicebro out for that?
Yeah, me neither.
@wwth
O_O
I’m sorry for not reading through the comments to see if anyone else posted this but… Little Miss Can’t Be Wrong – Spin Doctors. An epic anthem to an asskicking woman.
later skaters~
WWTH, if MRA assholes haven’t called him out in 18 months, they’re not going to. They simply don’t care.
I’m sure if I followed these rules I would get some kind of boyfriend. Trouble is, it wouldn’t be a boyfriend I would want or like. I’ve been through the dating gauntlet, and trust me – the guy who wants you to be a “calming feminine balm to his soul” (otherwise known as his free on-call therapist, muse, mother, nursemaid, audience, and cheerleader all rolled into one) is a whole lot of no fun. If I wanted to take on all that emotional labor i’d get a second job or something. At least then I’d get paid.
Why do people act like being single is the worst thing that can happen to you anyway? It only took one really shitty boyfriend to cure me of my fear of singlehood. Being single is the best. I do what I want, when I want, and I have emotional energy to spare planning parties and get togethers and staying in touch with friends – people who actually give back and add to my life instead of draining me.
But yeah, no, what would make me truly happy would be to crush down my own ambitions and confidence and play shy so some bro can feel like a big man. No thanks.
Today in comics this came out https://graphicpolicy.com/2017/07/29/the-alt-rights-hero-based-stick-man-is-coming-to-comics/amp/
And also one of the marvel editors has been endlessly harassed by someone calling themselves Diversity and Comics.
I tweeted a goof on this article and some newly acquired fans asked me what about their Christian wife? And I said, well what about her? I’m not married to her, so her beliefs aughtnt affect my marriage. Anyway. This along with some other stuff brewing looks like GG is going to start harassing comics creators again.
@dikdik
Tsk.
http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-pae-0IqjrWA/TkWRynFvn-I/AAAAAAAABW4/Y8BZkMaju4g/s1600/Cap+punches+Hitler+color.jpg
@dikdik
I hope my local comic shop doesn’t end up carrying that bird cage liner posing as a comic.
One group of people that seemed to get how creepy “Every Breath You Take” comes across were the creative staff on the American soap opera All My Children back in the mid ’80s. They had a storyline where one of the female characters was being stalked, and her stalker listened to “Every Breathe” incessantly.
@dikdik
Gross, is this like for racists who wish cap really was a nazi?
Well, Cake had “Short Skirt, Long Jacket”
I want a girl with a mind like a diamond
I want a girl who knows what’s best
I want a girl with shoes that cut
And eyes that burn like cigarettes
I want a girl with the right allocations
Who’s fast, thorough, and sharp as a tack
She’s playing with her jewelry
She’s putting up her hair
She’s touring the facilities
And picking up slack
I want a girl with a short skirt and a long jacket.
I want a girl who gets up early
I want a girl who stays up late
I want a girl with uninterrupted prosperity
Who uses a machete, to cut through red tape
With fingernails that shine like justice
And a voice that is dark like tinted glass
She is fast, thorough, and sharp as a tack
She’s touring the facilities and picking up slack
I want a girl with a short skirt and a long, long jacket
I want a girl with a smooth liquidation
I want a girl with good dividends
At City Bank we will meet accidentally
We’ll start to talk when she borrows my pen
She wants a car with a cup holder armrest
She wants a car that will get her there
She’s changing her name
From Kitty to Karen
She’s trading her MG for a white Chrysler LeBaron
I want a girl with a short skirt and a long jacket
And of course, there’s always Billy Joel:
You see her sitting with her coffee and her paper
With her high top sneakers of Italian design
With a long cool stare she aggravates the tension
Makes up her face while she makes up her mind
Now you’re in trouble, maybe she’s an intellectual
What if she figures out you’re not very smart
Or maybe she’s the quiet type who’s into heavy metal
Boy, you got to get it settled
Cause she’s breaking your heart
Don’t try to put on an act
You can’t do that to a modern woman
And you’re an old fashioned man
She understands the things you’re doin’
She’s a modern woman
She looks sleek and she seems so professional
She’s got a lot of confidence, it’s easy to see
You want to make a move
But you feel so inferior
Cause under that exterior
Is someone who’s free
She’s got style and she’s got her own money
So she’s not another honey you can quickly disarm
She’s got the eyes that make you realize
She won’t be hypnotized by your usual charm
You’ve got your plan of attack
That won’t attract the modern woman
Whe you’re an old fashioned man
She understands the things you’re doin’
She’s a modern woman
Time goes by and you’re sharing an apartment
She says she loves you but she doesn’t know why
In the morning she leaves you with your coffee and your paper
It’s a strange situation for an old fashioned guy
But times have changed
Things are not the same, baby
You overcame such a bad attitude
Rock and roll just used to be for kicks
And nowadays it’s politics
And after 1986 what else could be new
You got to learn to relax
And face the facts of modern woman
And you’re an old fashioned man
She understands the things you’re doin’
She’s a modern woman
>>”There has been no love song dedicated to a nagging, angry, self-absorbed woman.”
EMF’s Unbelievable:
Oh!(What the?)(What the fuck was that?)
You burden me with your questions You’d have me tell no lies
You’re always asking what it’s all about But don’t listen to my replies
You say to me I don’t talk enough But when I do I’m a fool
These times I’ve spent, I’ve realized I’m going to shoot through
And leave you
The things, you say Your purple prose just gives you away
The things, you say You’re unbelievable
Oh! (What the?) (What the fuck was that?)
You burden me with your problems By telling me more than mine
I’m always so concerned With the way you say
You’ve always go to stop To think of us being one
Is more than I ever know
But this time, I realize I’m going to shoot through
And leave you
The things, you say Your purple prose just gives you away
The things, you say You’re unbelievable
Oh! (What the?)(What the?)(What the?)(What the fuck was that?)
Seemingly lastless, don’t mean You can ask us
Pushing down the relative Bringing out your higher self
Think of the fine times Pushing down the better few
Instead of bringing out the clues
To want the world and everything your asked to
Brace yourself with the grace of ease
I know this world ain’t what it seems
(What the fuck was that?) (It’s unbelievable)
You burden me with your questions You’d have me tell no lies
You’re always asking what it’s all about But don’t listen to my replies
You say to me I don’t talk enough But when I do I’m a fool
These times I’ve spent, I’ve realized
I’m going to shoot through
And leave you
The things, you say Your purple prose just gives you away
The things, you say It’s why I love you more
The things, you say Your purple prose just gives you away
The things, you say You’re unbelievable
Oh!
(What the?)(What the)
You’re so unbelievable
(What the?)(What the?)
You’re unbelievable
(It’s unbelievable)Oh!
(What the?)(What the?)(What the?)(What the fuck was that?)
You’re unbelievable
Hello.
Hmm, as i am still forbidden to be able to look any video at my work, i hope nobody has already linked it, but there is maybe the “Self-esteem” from The Offspring with a “nasty (woman) friend” in it.
About the hell thing (and not the Hellsing), there is also the Buddhist hell. I do not know which religion predate the other, so i can not tell which one had influenced the other.
Have a nice day.
As was pretty much every settlement in every ‘new-found’ land. Populations then spread inland by moving up the rivers and tributaries. Logical really, as they had to stay close to a reliable source of water. Even nomadic desert dwellers plan their routes around oases, wells, and springs.
Rivers have always been the arteries of nations.
Sting as Ffeyd -Rautha Harkonnen. House Harkonnen’s atttitude to women would have hardened GoT characters looking for brain bleach. (Shudders…)
Sting as Ffeyd -Rautha Harkonnen. House Harkonnen’s attitude to women would have hardened GoT characters looking for brain bleach. (Shudders…)