By David Futrelle
Recently I wrote about one inventive Incel — that is, a so-called “involuntary celibate” — who thought he had the perfect solution to his no-sex problem: Simply allow all incel organ donors to have sex with recently deceased women! After all, he reasoned, “[t]he pussy of females can be used even 2 days after their death,” and dead women can’t say no.
But what if you prefer to have sex with women who can, you know, move around and make noises and perhaps even fetch sticks for you?
Well, let me introduce you to livinginhell101, an incel Redditor with an even more ingenious solution to the “involuntary celibacy” of the world’s worst men: Simply remove women’s brains and replace them with dog brains. Hey presto! Now she’ll want to have sex with you! Apparently.
Let’s let him explain:
I have so many questions for livinginhell101 and anyone else who thinks this is a brilliant idea! Do you really want to kiss a lady with dog breath? Will you have to follow after your special dog-brained lady with a little poop bag every time you take a stroll with her outside? What if she likes rolling in filth or eating her own vomit? What if she hates bath time as much as every dog-brained dog I’ve ever known? What if she rejects you for some hot German Shepherd named Chad?
But of course the real question is: how does a dude who literally just suggested replacing women’s brains with dog brains come to the conclusion that only “males are … capable of love, humanity [and] kindness?”
The general consensus in the Incels subreddit, where this lovely proposal was submitted, is that livinginhell101’s post is hilarious “satire.” But it’s not satire to post an obviously impossible fantasy that you not-so-secretly wish could be true. Jonathan Swift didn’t write his famous “modest proposal” because he actually wanted to eat babies.
But when incels talk about fucking corpses or women with dog brains it’s because they really do want to have sex with women without having to worry about getting their consent first. Coming up with wacky scenarios like these enables them to fantasize about rape endlessly without having to admit that what’s they’re doing.
Just another reminder that incel is poison.
NOTE: This r/incels post was going around Twitter right around the time I had to take my headache break, and was even discussed in the comments here. So apologies if you’ve seen this before. But I sort of felt I needed to post about it anyway, because damn.
QFT
@IgnoreSandra
As I’ve been told many times, results aren’t dose dependent (although I kinda wish they were, I might actually have a bloody chest), as long as your estradiol levels are in the normal female range you should be fine.
I started transitioning before starting HRT too, one of the first things I did was wardrobe replacement. I’m almost 3.5 years on HRT and I still need to get my face cleared, between a lack of money and an intense hatred of being looked at like I’m a freak. I don’t even remotely pass, although if I could afford FFS/Augmentation and a tracheal shave I might be able to. Since I have next to no money, and our vaunted healthcare system has declared that those things are cosmetic and therefore completely unnecessary/unfunded, I’m unlikely to ever pass.
I did go through a therapist, but the wait to see the lone endocrinologist who treats trans patients was about 9 months and I wasn’t going to make it that long. I ended up taking the informed consent route…sorta. I say ‘sorta’ because even though I signed all the informed consent forms…they still wanted to see my HRT letter.
@VP
I’ve been told that multiple times, unfortunately for me I have the distinct feeling that I’m racing a clock. I’m not sure I have enough time to wait.
@Jesalin
Yeah. I don’t have a chest either. And a giant fucking beard. I started this at age 23, and I think I might already be too late. But I can’t exactly stop, can I?
On the plus side, I’m in an incredibly privileged position and will be able to afford laser hair removal in the future. So there’s that.
<3 Jesalin and Sandra, those are some real struggles. and I wouldn't want to diminish your sense that you're racing a clock. It sounds like you're living somewhere that isn't very welcoming to you two :\. I hope you can go elsewhere – I know that Alberta's a very mixed bag, with part of the population being very welcoming and the other very backwards. (There are three endocrinologists here that can handle the process, and any GP can handle the rest. Nothing beyond bottom surgery is actually covered, of course, because it's 2017 and the world is on fire.) There's a pretty vibrant little LGBT culture over here, though.
Regardless, I hope you can both achieve what you want in short order, and that your anxiety recedes as time moves forward. Your situation will change, that's the one constant in life. Just keep pushing it in the direction you want. You can do it!
@Scildfeja
Thanks!
One thing I’m trying for at the moment, is some kind of exception to get augmentation covered.
This is what I sent to prideHealth (http://www.cdha.nshealth.ca/pridehealth/health-care-services) looking for some guidance. Even though they are a gov’t group.
I wish I could be optimistic about it.
@IgnoreSandra
I started at 38, 23 isn’t all that bad, other than the whole male puberty thing being finished and fucking things up.
On the one hand I wish I started when I first figured it out (age 10), on the other hand that was 1985 and puberty blockers weren’t a thing. So I was screwed regardless.
I wish I could donate some of my boobage to trans women, since I have way more than I could ever need or want.
I wish I could donate some of my boobage to trans women, since I have way more than I could ever need or want.
@WWTH
If that was possible I wouldn’t have a problem. My partner is a DD (and 4’9″) and would love to get rid of hers.
@WWTH
I wish it worked like that. But it doesn’t.
Or maybe if you defeated people in combat, you could gain an aspect of their appearance if you wanted.
But what I really wish is that we were all shapeshifters. Granted, I’d probably spend more time as a woman in dragon form than a woman in human form, but…it would be nice.
Maybe I’ll be able to afford a surgery some day. But I doubt it. I really do.
@Jesalin
@IgnoreSandra
Best wishes on living as who you are.
I, I don’t know how best to express this, but you two are among the people who I trust the most, so here goes.
I keep thinking I’m trans, alot actually, alot more nowadays. It’s messing with my mind, I kept trying to say things like “It’s just like that one time you thought you’re into men, you can say now with complete confidence that you’re not into men, the idea that you’re trans will pass soon.” It didn’t. I then tried to reason it away by saying other things like “just my depression making me hate my gender” or “I’ve lived my whole life around mostly women, surely it’s because I want to fit in and this is all some absurd delusion” or “shaving your entire body does not make you trans, it just means you don’t like the feel of body hair.” “Are you serious? Us being trans is the worst fantasy you could think up! Do you want to lose your support network, get ostracized by your entire family, lose college, job prospects and your future that badly?! Stop thinking this, you’re just letting years of offhand comments and thoughts make you think you’re someone that you are not. You are making a mockery of those who are actually going through problems. How is this any different from people who internet diagnose themselves to have Aspergers? You’re just doing this for attention aren’t you? Why are you thinking that losing all those assets would be all fine so long as people thought you are a woman?! Yeah a chronically depressed chinese vietnamese transwoman, that sounds like someone who will find nothing but acceptance and tolerance in this country.”
These thoughts weren’t as effective as I wished, they were supposed help me think I’m just a cis man going going through a phase, and then those thoughts end up just not working.
I keep going back into thoughts of times in Junior High when people asked me on those card games “Would you rather be an ugly man or a pretty woman?” Back then I just laughed because I didn’t know how to respond. I also remembered mumbling my way through saying I would like to be a pretty woman, just for a little bit. I keep remembering back in High School where people said if I was a girl I’d a Tomoko from Watamote, and I kept wondering why I made a comment here saying that my relationship with my former best friend would have been so much worse had I been a woman. And now as a returning college student sometimes the idea of me being trans makes me so anxious that I often have trouble calming myself down so I can drive to school and push these thoughts down.
On Monday I get to see my psychiatrist and I can tell him about the depression meds not working as they used to and this gender confusion. Hopefully it translates into the insurance company covering a few visits to a gender therapist so I can once and for all determine if I’m just imagining things or that I really am trans.
RE: the comments about the (incel) person attempting to transition:
Holy smokes, this sounds almost like a former (a year ago) play partner I had. My former was self-identified as bi and (eventually) seemed to actively hate and envy women while refusing to have any sort of relationship with a man.
He is a talented rigger and agreed to mentor me in the hope that I would become skilled enough to meet his standards to tie him. (He admitted this) He so desired to be tied by men (more naturally talented obvs) that he was trying to find a way to transition- because he was sure that his maleness was the only reason he was being denied. He never blamed or examined his own shitty attitude or the things he said. He reduced every woman to an object and mused aloud how she might dominate him… Really not cool- esp in public. He often ranted about how I was a “pretty girl” (never a woman) and that I had such privilege in getting male attention. Ugh. He believed his life would be so much easier as a woman- he could coast on the attention and gifts from men.
I ended the relationship after the toxicity became too much. I would get texts claiming emergencies and threats to end our friendship if I didn’t do what he wanted. I’ve not spoken to him in a year or so and I hope he’s well, but I doubt it.
ETA: RE livinghell101 incase I wasn’t clear.
@Oogly
Much support and many hugs if sought <3
http://stories.barkpost.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/02/Dog_Hug-e1423505393461.jpg
OT: That cruise ship murder angers me so much. And then when it’s stated that “men are afraid women will laugh at them; women are afraid men will kill them” it’s brushed off as fear-mongering from man-hating feminists.
Then it happened. It fucking happened (again).
And what do people say? Whats the response??
“He just reached his breaking point” / “i’m sure she’s pushed his buttons in the past”
They make excuses for him, the murderer. And blame the victim, the murdered victim
I am on my phone so won’t deluge you with my usual rain of paragraphs – you can have that later! But I wanted to write a few things here while they are fresh in my head.
@Jesalin, my duck! I hope you can press for top surgery, though that is a very tough road. I think you are in the right though. I suspect you could win a court case on that, but affording it would be difficult. Might be something a legal team might do for you though – would be a high profile case. Making a phone call is free after all. I dunno how government legal assistance is there, it’s crap here thanks to decades of conservative dismantling.
@Ooglyboggles, you are my friend no matter how your path of self discovery goes. It can be anxious or wonderful, or often both. Don’t worry about what label you should wear, just shed any guilt or shame you might feel. That’s the first thing, in my opinion.
Lots of feelings and revelations today!
@Ooglyboggles
Seeing a gender therapist sounds like a good idea. One thing I can say as my arthritic 24-year old self is that hormones have a greater impact the younger you are. When I look back at my past, part of me wants to weep over how obvious this really was and what I’ve missed because I missed it.
Losing support networks is a problem. 99% or more of the friends I made in college no longer speak to me, and I have a rocky relationship with some parts of my family. But I am also fortunate enough to have parents who see my point of view.
My experience was a bit different.
When I was younger and imagining things, I’d always envision myself as a woman. Like, there’s this fantastic world full of fantastic things, oh and I’m a woman in it. I never admitted to that, and I always crushed it down around others because I was expecting to be ridiculed by men and women alike because misogyny.
As a person, I simply didn’t talk much at all before age 15, and I viewed connections with others as vulnerabilities, so I avoided them as much as I could.
When I started talking to people, around 15 or so, I got along much better with women than with men. Women were kind and reasonable, whereas men were just showing off, and my brain didn’t and doesn’t understand showing off.
I saw a lot of people in beautiful dresses, I made some enduring friendships with women who I’m still connected with today, even though my internalized misogyny and personal conflicts caused me to lash out at them in ways that are my biggest regret.
When I was 17, I was on a church retreat, and our group had to put on a skit. The group leader thought it would be funny if I wore a dress as some guy’s wife. I didn’t want to do it, they pressured me until I tried it on, and I couldn’t handle the internal conflicts so I did not do it. It didn’t feel like I expected it to. I thought it would feel like cloth, just another sack to drape over myself, but it was accompanied by a feeling of…rightness that until then I didn’t realize wasn’t in my life. This being a catholic retreat, I naturally ran from my feelings and buried them underneath vacant service to the church.
Then life just fell apart for me. My brother’s constant abusive treatment of me reached several heads, and I wound up running away from home. My dad came back early from his vacation because of it, and I didn’t set foot in that house until it wasn’t just my brother there.
As soon as I could, I applied to and was accepted in a college that required me to live away from home. So I went there, and got a job, and racked up some student loans, and about my second year, I was encouraged by my friends enough to buy a skirt and wear it sometimes. I wore it straight for a month cause I wanted to observe the reactions of others. Then I just didn’t stop wearing skirts, because it felt right. And I moved on to dresses and high heels and cosplaying women characters, and I realized that I was actually being my self-concept for the first time in ever. That I actually cared about the way I looked because I had an aesthetic I felt was right.
And if my self-concept is a woman, doesn’t that make me a woman?
I spent about six more months pondering that before I reached the conclusion that I was a woman, and another three before I sought HRT.
@Oogly
I’m honored, and quite flattered! I believe a persons trust is the most sacred thing they can give to another person.
That’s the best way to go. I tried several anti-depressants when I was younger, about 5 different ones if memory serves. None of them did a damn thing, except for various side-effects. Within 3-4 days of starting on HRT, depression was gone, I had energy again and I actually felt like smiling for the first time since puberty hit.
I know I’ve read somewhere that HRT can actually be considered a kind of diagnostic. If you start HRT and feel better, it’s a sign that you should be on HRT. In effect your brain is going ‘OMG estrogen! Finally, the poison has stopped!’ (or vice versa for those who are FTM)
It is absolutely amazing the things we can overlook, especially when we’re not ready/able to cope!
For example, I read a lot of erotic fiction, nearly all of it involved a guy becoming a girl, usually through some sci-fi type of method. And I envied the living fuck outta them!I still didn’t clue in
All of my sexual fantasies involved me being female. I still didn’t clue in.
I would look at women and wish I looked like them (in a general sense, not a specific person), and many many times I would look in the mirror and I would feel a really strong disorientation(?) when I saw a guy looking back at me, because I was expecting to see a woman. And it still didn’t trickle through my bloody brain what the issue was.
It took 28 years (I knew when I was 10 but repressed it) of feeling like utter crap and trying to figure out how not to feel like utter crap, for me to realize what the problem was.
Anyway, the point of all this rambling nonsense is that if you think you might be trans, have tried to ignore it and forget about it, and yet it still keeps cropping up in your thoughts…it’s a damn good idea to talk to a qualified professional. Regret sucks, and the longer you put it off, the more regret accumulates.
Oh dear.
I just remembered the last time I heard about some man whose self-loathing caused him to think maybe he should look into transitioning…
http://www.gunaxin.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/05/20080603-j59xwipx2nquy7pmyjx3bw51r7.jpg
@Nequam
Jame “Buffalo Bill” Gumb?
Ee-yup.
Part of the plot with him was that he tried to seek transitioning and didn’t pass the psychological evaluation; Lecter suggested that he only *thought* he was trans and that in fact he had a more profoundly messed-up self-image.
@Jesalin & Sandra
I hope things get better and you eventually get all the surgery and treatments you need. Nobody should have to go through the indifference of society like that.
@Oogly
*hugs*
I have felt the same way for a good chunk of my life, so I can relate to those feelings of self-doubt. In the end I got pretty lucky and came across the right people and it’s now clear to me just who and what I am; I hope it goes as smoothly for you. And if not, you know I and a whole lot of others are here if you need to talk.
(also, by the way, you don’t need me to tell you this but I’ll do it anyway : nah it’s not your depression talking – if anything, it’s probably the other way around at least to some extent, and I know that you know that I know that you kn… uh, you get it)
@IgnoreSandra: Not trying to minimize your experience at all, but in all fairness, I don’t speak with really any of my friends from college, either. I have more contact with high school friends than college friends, and it’s not a big list. My apologies if you meant that they all drew away from you when you were still IN college, but it’s my experience that such relationships tend to dissolve quickly as people fully transition into being “grown-ups” (I.E. losing all the fun parts of youth without ever gaining the sense of knowing what you’re doing like you always imagined adults did).
@Oogly: Good luck! I hope that it turns out enlightening, in more than one sense of the word (like lifting a weight off your shoulders).
For various reasons I recently signed up for Reddit. At one point, decided to see what the incels subreddit was like.
Worse than I’d imagined just begins to describe it. To paraphrase an old saying, they are unhappy themselves and hope to be the cause of unhappiness in others. So much hatefulness worn as a badge of honor. I’m even more impressed by what Our Gracious Host achieves now.
@John
Uhm… never felt like a great time to ask. Still doesn’t honestly. But, while the subject is at hand, might I ask your pronouns?
@Axe
He and/or they 🙂
It’s never a bad time to ask, but I get what you mean. I myself am guilty of watching very closely what everyone else calls someone just so I don’t have to ask because I’m a bit anxious about that.
It happens to me with things other than pronouns, too. And the more time passes, the more awkward it gets, because you feel like you should know that by now. Right ?
? Or that Alaskan Malumut down the street. I smell troouuubblle.
Yeah, that and the abysmal murder rate of women who are killed by their intimate partners. Yes, so much love-so much humanity-so much kindness.
Sorry took a dark turn there for a minute. I just don’t understand people who hold views who are anathema to reality.