By David Futrelle
Recently I wrote about one inventive Incel — that is, a so-called “involuntary celibate” — who thought he had the perfect solution to his no-sex problem: Simply allow all incel organ donors to have sex with recently deceased women! After all, he reasoned, “[t]he pussy of females can be used even 2 days after their death,” and dead women can’t say no.
But what if you prefer to have sex with women who can, you know, move around and make noises and perhaps even fetch sticks for you?
Well, let me introduce you to livinginhell101, an incel Redditor with an even more ingenious solution to the “involuntary celibacy” of the world’s worst men: Simply remove women’s brains and replace them with dog brains. Hey presto! Now she’ll want to have sex with you! Apparently.
Let’s let him explain:
I have so many questions for livinginhell101 and anyone else who thinks this is a brilliant idea! Do you really want to kiss a lady with dog breath? Will you have to follow after your special dog-brained lady with a little poop bag every time you take a stroll with her outside? What if she likes rolling in filth or eating her own vomit? What if she hates bath time as much as every dog-brained dog I’ve ever known? What if she rejects you for some hot German Shepherd named Chad?
But of course the real question is: how does a dude who literally just suggested replacing women’s brains with dog brains come to the conclusion that only “males are … capable of love, humanity [and] kindness?”
The general consensus in the Incels subreddit, where this lovely proposal was submitted, is that livinginhell101’s post is hilarious “satire.” But it’s not satire to post an obviously impossible fantasy that you not-so-secretly wish could be true. Jonathan Swift didn’t write his famous “modest proposal” because he actually wanted to eat babies.
But when incels talk about fucking corpses or women with dog brains it’s because they really do want to have sex with women without having to worry about getting their consent first. Coming up with wacky scenarios like these enables them to fantasize about rape endlessly without having to admit that what’s they’re doing.
Just another reminder that incel is poison.
NOTE: This r/incels post was going around Twitter right around the time I had to take my headache break, and was even discussed in the comments here. So apologies if you’ve seen this before. But I sort of felt I needed to post about it anyway, because damn.
Definitely, yes. There also seems to be a strong element of “Hear ye how much I consider women to be just like pieces of meat, verily!”
I don’t think this guy is particularly attracted to doglike behavior, real or imagined, or the idea of a human pet. He’s just trying to get the most mileage out of the basic “treat women like dogs” misogynist cliché.
Both the dead-woman-body and this dog-woman-body would be essentially like sex dolls, except more demeaning because they’re “real” woman bodies. They’d also lack the fantasy mock humanity of fantasy future sex robots.
PeeVee : pretty sure dogs in general aren’t as stupid as that redditor. We should not underestimate them.
i mean, to be “fair,” the poster didn’t say that HE, personally, was capable of love, humanity, and kindness, just that (other) males are.
which i guess is probably true? but in that case, and given the assumption that “female humanoid bodies” are so precious… why not put male brains into those bodies? wouldn’t that really be their perfect solution? scoop the brains out of every “female humanoid” and let any interested male drop their own brain into one? then everyone who remained would be, allegedly, good, kind, loving, and humane.
We should go deeper. Let’s make a kind of universal brain case, so that we can hotswap brains as needed between body. And we then could clone the most useful body, be they whale or seagull to travel the ocean, 4 arms body for manual labor, or supermodel body for when you want to feel beautiful.
.. I guess my love of cyberpunk show.
I owe it all to you, Dan. You’re my hero! Thanks!
They might have difficulty joining the US military, mind.
I hope he doesn’t have a real dog if he thinks that he can just leave it locked up in a kennel or “bunker” when he goes away. Dogs are a lot needier than adult human women in that regard.
That line made me wonder if this fantasy was actually inspired by the recent Todd Kohlhepp case where the victim was treated like a dog and chained by her neck in a shipping container. Seems more likely than it having anything to do with real dogs.
This seems the perfect opportunity to repeat Buttercup’s rather excellent “Man’s best friendzoned” joke.
@Ohlmann:
http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/7/79/Altered_Carbon_cover_1_%28Amazon%29.jpg
Y’know, when I saw this was the most recent post, I actually thought for a good five minutes that I was experiencing the worst, most vivid déjà-vu I’d ever had, because I’d forgotten that although it’s been talked about at length, David hadn’t actually posted it.
My mind isn’t exactly the most stable of places right now, so you can guess how confusing that might’ve been. But what really amazes me is that the most confusing part was not even that, y’know, we live in a world where dudes want to put brain dogs in women’s bodies.
In other news, I’m building a nuclear steam catapult to send myself off the planet. Anyone wanna join ? I’m packing beer, mostly because I’ve always wondered how the froth would look in zero G.
Stupid, off-topic question, but considering that they boys are happy with the idea of necrophilia and woman-cum-dog-brain sex… what’s going to happen to the piles of brainless dog corpses? What do they have in store for them?
Hello.
Well, between that and the one who wanted to have sex with deceased women, they decidely have got a thing for Lady Death. It is no more a date with Rosie Palm, it is one with La Camarde…
Combining paedophilia to necrophilia and/or animality ? And having a personal title saying “Tranny coper, toxic cancer level = 100, 000, 000, 000, 000” ? I am pretty sure he is a totally lovable, progressist, open-minded and reasonable person.
But the questions are : does the dog need to be under 25 ? In human years ? Dog years ? What if it is a male dog ? Can a woman body with a dog brain being cat-called in the street without rushing to bark at the cat-caller ? Does it need to always be doggy-style ? Have you ever seen a dog, by its own, cooking, doing or helping for the chores, and all other stuff you do not want to do yourself and always, by cliché, attribute to women ?
Yeah, no, in fact, you are just an enemy of women, dogs, and pretty much anything which is alive or dead.
edit, to enjolra :
well, the new fusionned creature needs food. What about hot-dog ? You know, with real dogs in it ?
Have a nice day.
Aw, this guy better not be a part of my furry fandom… cuz Jivesy don’t play that shit.
livinginhell101 has some strange thinking in general. They are a believer in the flat earth, so science in general is somewhat foreign to them.
And they are transitioning genders.
https://www.reddit.com/r/Incels/comments/6pshs7/nsfw_nsfanyone_my_experiences_on_female_hormones/
“I have been on estrogen for about 6 months now. It all started when I got my new therapist three months before that. Who referred me to a new general practitioner he knows. Obviously I told him nothing about being incel or hating females. Only that I always felt like a girl, which was a massive lie. I just wanted to get hormones to attempt a gender transition and hopefully become attracted to dudes like the other trans on reddit. Who so ironically betray themselves and their cause by casually posting truth.”
“The vast majority almost always speak about how their brains get changed by hormones. Further proving they are truly male in the brain. Basically they are mostly cross dressing fetishists.”
“I’m beyond words enjoying my experience on female hormones. I still hate females, cucks, and chads.”
I don’t know if I believe any of it, but the hate is definitely real.
Do these guys know that ‘fear of men’ is a fairly common trait in dogs? Or would they consider that a bonus? *vomits at the thought*
This isn’t a question that the human mind should need to cobble together. But here we are, apparently. Thanks, Internet.
I’ve said it before, but I think it bears repeating: why can’t these guys just own up to their awfulness? I mean, all these ridiculous scenarios strike me more as “Kekeke, isn’t this edgy, fellow garbage people?” thing rather than the earnestly-offered evil of the local Harry Russo (for those not initiated into Diamanda Hagan reviews, I wouldn’t recommend Googling that name). So instead of these ludicrous screeds, just say “I hate women because they won’t spread for me” so the rest of decent society doesn’t have to puzzle over whether or not you’re a threat to their pets. Saves us time.
I mean, I get it, nobody wants to say “Oh shit, we’re the baddies,” but on some level these guys are aware that they’re terrible, clearly. So just own it, incels. You’re not fooling anybody, especially not with this.
This is probably OT.
I love starting the day feeling disgusted:
First comment I saw (on facebook):
Predictably they then go on to say that they aren’t victim blaming, just ‘introducing another option’.
*vomit*
We women whose bodies are past the wall and therefore not of interest to the incels should remain intact, right? I say we, along with our mangina white knights enact a secret plan to put the brains of the female humanoids into the dog bodies. Then the crafty feeemales will use their newfound adorableness to further enslave the male race.
http://www.reactiongifs.com/r/eevl.gif
Oh, agreed! That was just my more polite way of calling that Redditor a shit-for-brains.
So, fun fact about livinginhell101: he claims that he is so desperate for romantic affection/sex, and so convinced he’ll never receive it because of his height (he’s 5’10”) and small penis size that he is *literally in the process of transitioning to female* and has been on hormone for something like six months now, because he’s convinced that’s the only way he’ll get it. His hope- and again, I am not making this up- is that it will cause his sexuality to “flip” so he’ll start liking guys and can then bask in all that male attention (he previously tried hooking up with a gay man, only to discover (to his frustration) that he’s totally straight. Despite this, he’s still full of vileness towards women (which he rationalizes by explaining that unlike other trans people, he’s “sane” and knows he’s “not *really* a woman”), and blames them for “forcing” him to transition.
At this point, I’m not sure whether his transition is part of an elaborate form of self-harm, he’s actually a *severely* repressed trans girl (if so, she certainly wouldn’t be the first of us to manifest dysphoria in the form of intense resentment/envy towards women, but usually that dissipates once you start transitioning), or if he’s just trolling the lot of us. Given that he also unironically posts about believing in the Flat Earth theory, the latter is certainly not out of the question.
@Tessa
That was about as fun as a napalm enema.
I’m gonna play video games and murder giant robot dinosaurs now, or something.
@weirwoodtreehugger: chief manatee
The manuresphere/right-wing in general does kinda remind me of the Ferengi: rampant misogynists obsessed with profit and all too happy to swindle the unwary (or literally sell their own mothers) for a quick buck.
More on-topic, livinginhell reminds me of those episodes of children’s tv shows where the kid wants a pet, but then has to learn the hard way just what a chore taking care of one is, and in the end comes away with a valuable lesson about responsibility. Except in this case, his negligence leads the pet to starve and hate him, he blames the pet for not feeding itself, and learns absolutely nothing.
I seriously doubt this guy is trans, especially given his stated ‘reason’. I generally don’t like to pretend that I speak for any group, but we don’t transition because we want affection, or want to get laid. We transition because we need to be true to ourselves and because, in many cases, we really don’t have much of a choice, it’s transition or die. That’s my view at least, others may feel differently.
That said, there is the possibility that he is trans, suffers from a metric shit-ton of internalized transphobia and has internalized a lot of the negative misogynistic crap that still infests parts of society. I personally though, doubt that he is.
5’10” is too short to get laid now? Because I’ve had sex with multiple guys that were shorter than that. In fact, although I have been attracted to men of a variety of different heights, I have a tendency to be more attracted to short men. There are plenty of women who are only into tall men, but it’s by no means every woman. I don’t think height is his problem as much as the entitlement, misogyny, beastiality and creepiness. But what do I know? I only have one of those puny female humanoid brains.
Someone also ought to tell him that lesbian trans women exist. If he’s attracted to women now, he would be if he transitioned too. Though I’ve got to say, I’m calling cool story bro on the claim that he’s actually transitioning despite identifying as male.
Someone also should tell him that a lot of cis men are unwilling to have sex and/or a romantic relationship with a trans woman. Not only that, but it’s not too uncommon for a cis man to commit violence against a woman he’s attracted to once he finds out she’s trans. Plus there’s all the other ways that society is very transphobic. Does this guy seriously think life is easier for trans women than it is for cis men? That’s like the epitome of privileged cluenessness right there.
@Tessa
Can confirm, totally the way this works. Why, just having estrogen in your system causes you to like men. That’s why there are no such things as lesbians!
And certainly changing your hormone balance alters your sexual attraction. This is why I’ve gone from kinda straight to super straight. Instead of from liking women in a heterosexual way to liking women in a gay way.
Ugh. I think today is not a Subnautica today. I need something fun now, not existentially terrifying.