The best worst reactions to the news that the next Doctor Who will be a woman

Even the 3rd page (Printing information) is weird.
“Garamond was selected as the main font due to its historical
accuracy.”

And apparently you’re supposed to take the absolute value of the age (roll – whatever) you get, so it’s never negative. Working out the actual statistics for what age you wind up with looks to be very complex, so I’m sure they didn’t. Of course, the first set of rolls I tried for human age came up with -26 before absolute value.

The standard character sheet is 11 pages long, has BMI as a stat, and includes “Urinating” as a skill.

Oh, so edgy.

And apparently you’re supposed to take the absolute value of the age (roll – whatever) you get, so it’s never negative.

I’m aware, but they could have just made an equation that didn’t yield negative numbers, and then they wouldn’t have had to add the extra rule about absolute values.

Or they could have just let you pick your own character’s age arbitrarily, based on the type of character you wanted to play.

:O

“To determine the number of births per pregnancy, collect 7 ten-sided dice, roll 1d10,000,000, consult table”

Come now, mocking F.A.T.A.L. is like shooting fish in a barrel. Only with anal circumference.

The weird thing is how all those dumb as shit dice roll formulas aren’t arbitrarily chosen, they do produce numbers from specifically chosen distributions, rather than your basic 3d6 and similar.
Has anybody asked for that? No.
Does anybody need that? No.
Is it the purest demonstration of STEM-lord wankery? Possibly. I’d doubt anybody could achieve a higher black-light count than
(Dice roll)₃ = 4d100 – 75 + √((Dice roll)₁ + (Dice roll)₂)
or however it’s constructed. I’m not going to hie off and download it just to look up their formulas.

Human age = | ( ( 4d100 / 4) – 30) |

The recommended formula doesn’t provide negative values because of absolute value, but 0 is a definite possibility. I think the average age you’ll roll is 20, but I’ve never before considered how abs value effects dice roll formula averages.

The more closely you look at this system, the more you realize that serious misogyny, and striving for extreme fake “historical accuracy”, are only part of its problems.

Possible job: Claspmaker. Makes clasps for jewelry and such-like. Requires 7 year apprenticeship. May not sell excess charcoal except to other claspmakers at a fixed price. May not buy more charcoal than needed for work.

Collier. Makes charcoal. 5 year apprentice. Must make a masterwork to move up in the guild. What masterwork charcoal might look like is (oddly) not mentioned.

“Cheating in the kitchen is common. For example, cooks are known for substituting human flesh for swine, since both meats taste so much alike.” … how do the authors know this to be true.

I’d both like to thank, and chastise, those who mentioned FATAL RPG to me. If you can ignore the basic misogyny of the setting, the basic rules are ridiculously complex. It’s as if someone who thought Advanced Squad Leader was just too simple decided to do a dumb amount of research (the footnotes, OMG the footnotes), throw a statistical analysis together badly, and put everything they could think of in it.

I’m not even 1/4 of the way through the rule book, it’s so hideously complex for a “game”. There’s something to cringe about on almost every page (rolling 1d10,000,000 to determine number of children was actually a quote from it, not satirizing).

rolling 1d10,000,000 to determine number of children was actually a quote from it, not satirizing

wat

@Falconer

Weirdly, Indy sort of inspired me to work in some archaeologically-related jobs, and now if I saw him coming towards an archaeological site I was working on, I’d have security on him in a minute. I’d like the gold idol to remain in situ for measurement purposes, and I’d like the temple that surrounds it to stay standing – health and safety, you understand. I’d like the Ark of the Covenant to be the centrepiece of the Visitor Centre I’m going to build round it, and I’d like a biodiversity audit done on the various snake species – many of them don’t look endemic.

Indiana Jones is like a guy who uses a metal detector to dig up a fairly common Roman coin, in the process destroying some unique medieval timber work and Saxon pottery, which get discarded because they’re not shiny enough.

If I ever do find the Indy RPG, believe me I will be playing it VERY differently to the movies!

sez Lenora feuer: “Oh, and yeah, for the CYOA, app. I wonder if anybody still has Hypercard sitting around somewhere.”
Yes—me, for one. Haven’t touched it in a while, not least because it’s a MacOS 9 app that won’t run under OS X without Rosetta. For all Hypercard’s virtues, I wouldn’t recommend that anyone try using HC nowadays. To anyone who might be thinking of creating project in HC now: You might want to check out LiveCode, a sort of ‘spiritual descendant’ of HC which could be thought of as a massive superset of HC’s capabilities. Be aware that LC’s learning curve is steeper than HC’s—but that’s mostly because of all the stuff LC comes with out of the box, which HC might or might not be able to handle if there was an external for it. Fortunately, LC comes in a free-for-the-downloading Open Source version, which can run under OS X, Windows, or Linux.

https://livecode.com

@DanHolme, yeah, no I’m not arguing about that. He’s a terrible archaeologist and the series embraces the worst goddamn imperialistic covetousness.

But god damn if it isn’t cathartic to watch him punch Nazis and child-enslavers right in the face.

Hello.

> Scildfreja Unnyðnes

I grew up on those silly choose Your Own Adventure books, and this one’s those same books, but all grown up and in a dapper evening jacket with a pipe in one hand and a wine glass in the other.

Well, in fact there were Sherlock Holmes Choose Your Own Adventures books (“Sherlock Holmes Solo Mysteries”), but i think they were less known than the fantasy ones (“Lone Wolf”, for one of the most known, at least in France). I have played this one, and fail miserabily three times, because even with logic, you are still under the fortune eye when trying to find some evidences/proofs and for the fights, thus making it impossible to complete if botching those events.

I do not know about Warhamsters, but if you like playing rodents, there is “Mice and Mystics”.

Have a nice day.

Tom Baker was ‘my’ Doctor (couldn’t take to Peter Davison or Colin Baker for some reason) but have no problem with Jodie Whittaker. I wonder if the complaints would have been so virulent if another canonical (I believe) trope had been followed – Gallifreyan Time Lords don’t even have to be humanoid…