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By David Futrelle
Watch out, straight dudes! The government is coming for your manhood!
Or at least that’s the accusation being leveled at internet Nazis. On neo-Nazi internet tip sheet The Daily Stormer, the writer known as Zeiger points to a six-month old Science Daily article reporting the results of a large-scale study designed to more accurately determine “normal” testosterone levels in men. Shockingly, to Zeiger at least, the study determined that the old “normal’ range was a bit high. The CDC and medical testing companies are adjusting their standards accordingly.
Zeiger is not pleased. “The chemical castration of the Western male is about to be kicked up to the next level,” he warns. “It’s a transparent push to feminize men and normalize being a low-T f*ggot.”
Zeiger warns that the new “normal” could even lead to the government trying to TERK OUR TERTOSTERONE!
[T]f this process continues, you could start seeing men with healthy testosterone begin to be seen as “pathological” because their levels are “too high” compared with the new standard. So power-lifters who watch their diets could start being prescribed drugs to lower their T levels.
First they came for the power lifters …
Over on his blog, Nazoid pickup artist James “Heartiste” Weidmann raises the alarm in even more outlandish prose.
Mother fucking yahweh, this is a declaration of war against masculinity. The ruling class wants a compliant and pacified herd of puppy dogs in place of the White men who could pose a threat to their ill-gotten and corrupted sinecures.
The soyfatted manboobed weepy feminist nümale is not a meme. It’s real!
Hey, I think he means me!
Think about the implications. Are you a high T man who’s within the formerly normal range of male serum testosterone level? Guess what, you’re now suffering from pathologically high testosterone. Report to your nearest feminization camp for the requisite T-lowering Mazeltov cocktail of beta blockers, SSRIs, estrogen, dissolved birth control pills drawn from the local tap, and opioids.
There is a Western-wide War on Men, because the effete low T Globohomo taintlickers that have somehow wormed their way into power and laugh at the plebs assaulted by Diversity™ from behind their gated communities know…they KNOW fam…that testosterone is the elixir of the god emperors, and a million god emperors whose veins flow with the power of T and whose hearts are opened to ethereal channels of connection to their mighty warrior ancestors through their shared high T heritage are the ONLY FOE WITH THE FORCE OF WILL to oust the degenerate elite from their plush sanctums.
I think Heartiste is huffing something, but it’s not testosterone.
Pull the Goylent feeding tube from your soulgut and reclaim your rightful place in the pantheon of powerful White men as heir to a noble race of warrior poets.
Sorry dude, but making up words like “globohomo” and “Goylant” doesn’t actually make you a poet, much less a warrior.
Our government is evil. It wants to pathologize masculine men and normalize fat women. The bureaucratic machine and its elite operators assault the very notion of Truth and Beauty, which they want replaced with Lies and Ugliness. This is our generation’s war, and I can’t think of a nobler reason to fight than the nature of our enemy…a globalist swarm of soulless atomized grubby usurers with no attachment to anything but their continued power.
So Heartiste is declaring war on … fat people? Well, if it’s on, it’s on. So, fellow fatties, if you ever run across Mr. Weidmann, I suggest you gut-check him to the ground and sit on him.
WWTH: All of this is entirely accurate and well-put, and I’m pretty sure if you brought any of it up to my dick-focused correspondent, he would block it completely from his sensory processes to preserve his worldview. It always amazes me that some people are pretty dedicated to a gender binary.
@ wwth;
I believe the clitoris and the penis are analogous organs
@WWTH:
LOOOOOOOOOOOMMMMSSS
@Falconer: Given your profile pic I assume you’ve seen Attack the Block, which was the first thing I saw Jodie Whittaker in.
As Romana demonstrated, Time Lords/Ladies can regenerate as anything they want.
http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-BoIvU1wRI-U/Ug4sxyFfc2I/AAAAAAAAow8/NF5i2rn_a1I/s1600/romana-blue.jpg
Although arguably Time Lords aren’t above a bit of gender stereotyping. 🙂
http://i.imgur.com/YwxobMx.jpg
The Nazis’ interpretation of the study is an almost textbook example of fallaciously assuming that correlation implies causation. Male homosexuality isn’t correlated with testosterone levels, and even if it was that wouldn’t imply that the government is altering the water supply to create gay frogs or whatever.
I couldn’t resist
I loved Attack the Block. The casting director, Nina Gold is so great at finding talented future stars. She also casts GoT.
@SpecialFrog: I haven’t, actually, although I have seen TFA. John Boyega looks damn good in a fedora, is all. I get people in fedoras for my avatar as an act of resistance against the Nice Guys, who all think a trilby is a fedora.
I want to see “Attack the Block,” it looks awesome.
@PoM
It’s kind of ironic, I have almost endless understanding for other people (as long as they deserve it), and very little for myself. I’ve been working on it though and making progress.
@Weird Eddie
I found that out when I adjusted my diet! Eating healthy is not cheap.
@WWTH
Thanks!
This is something I need to understand if I’m going to transition. I’m not on T at the moment, and basically only identify as non binary, although I know I’m trans, most people call me a she even if I prefer to be a them. I do take zinc which I think has naturally increased my testosterone. I’m a bit worried about the effects it will have on me to be honest, I need to get the advise of a real endocrinologist.
@Falconer
That’s fair. I haven’t watched the recent seasons. I was just stating the reasons that I stopped watching. They lost me with the 50th anniversary special where they basically erased the Time War. That was a huge part of the Doctor’s character and it was just gone. It seemed (to me at least) that they were trying to make him into this flawless, magnificent character and I think that’s boring.
@Falconer
You totally should, it totally is. Be warned tho, you’ll be unconsciously sprinkling the word ‘bruv’ into your inner monologue for like a week after ?
Their bizarre fixation on gay men being low in testosterone would be amusing if they weren’t dangerously evil. Apparently my fellow man-lovin’ dudes are simultaneously low in testosterone and sex obsessed. Neat trick!
The anti-Semitic imagery is even more florid and overheated. ‘Goylent’?! They’re probably convinced that ‘goyim’ means something pejorative.
@dr ej:
But only since, like, 2005. And the Doctor didn’t remember that he’d saved Gallifrey, because he never remembers a multi-Doctor story because that raises too many awkward questions. So all his guilt and everything remained intact. Nine, Ten and Eleven still think they decided that the lives of everyone on Gallifrey were disposable because they got sick of war, the Daleks had won, and they couldn’t see a way out.
The Fiftieth was one of those “everybody lives” moments that come so rarely in the show, and I love it.
But that comes with the territory: the show is constantly in flux and shakes itself up every three or four years, and no one’s going to love every single minute. I love Six but I think his television era is one of the weakest (his audios are better).
I leave it to shows like Game of Thrones to examine what it is to have to make hard decisions. Doctor Who is and should be largely aspirational.
@History Nerd:
http://tylervigen.com/correlation_project/correlation_images/per-capita-consumption-of-beef-us_deaths-caused-by-lightning.png
@kupo:
Tell me about auroras and KP numbers, if you please. I love hearing people enthuse about their nerd loves.
@EJ
Well, one of my loves is photographing the night sky. I’ve got a nice star trail photo (30 min exposure; did it the hard way!) plus some milky way photos. I’ve recently decided that I want to try and get an aurora photo next time it’s visible here (Seattle), so I’ve been checking the forecast site regularly. Tonight we’re expecting a Kp 6, which means there’s a geomagnetic storm, which means it’s *possible* we might see some aurora here. I’ve never seen it in person, so this is really exciting to me. Also, the weather forecast is for clear skies which is a rarity here as well.
On Time Lord dicks:
The Culture novel The Hydrogen Sonata has a character (Ximenyr) who has many dicks, and four hearts to, ah, drive them. We know that Time Lords have two hearts, which beat much faster than a human’s, so perhaps they have multiple winkles? Which is entirely irrelevant to whether Jodie Whittaker can play the Doctor, with zero, one, or several wangs, or whatever weird alienesque junk Gallifreyans have.
That’s really cool. Best of luck and if you get a good picture, please share it!
@VM
http://www.wpath.org/site_page.cfm?pk_association_webpage_menu=1351&pk_association_webpage=3926
That is the current (v7) Standards of Care. On page 37 are the ‘Effects and expected time course of masculinizing hormones’. Although since I’m bored out of my tree I’m going to type the list anyway.
Effect Expected Onset Expected max. effect
Skin oiliness/acne 1-6 months 1-2 years
Facial/body hair growth 3-6 months 3-5 years
Scalp hair loss >12 months variable
Increased muscle mass/strength 6-12 months 2-5 years
Body fat redistribution 3-6 months 2-5 years
Cessation of menses 2-6 months N/A
Clitoral enlargement 3-6 months 1-2 years
Vaginal atrophy 3-6 months 1-2 years
Deepened voice 3-12 months 1-2 years
Other effects (as far as I know) can include increased aggressiveness and increased libido.
If you haven’t already, I highly recommend checking out the SoC. If nothing else it should give you a better idea of the process (and pain in the ass gate-keeping) that transition entails.
ETA: Sigh, so much for my idea of trying to format it a little bit.
@weirwoodtreehugger: chief manatee:
“…If they do have dicks, aren’t the clitoris and the penis made out of the same material? Aren’t clits pretty big, they’re just mostly internal? You could make one out of the other couldn’t you?…”
Don’t know about the aliens that makeup the Dr. Who universe, but, here on earth, all human fetuses start with a vagina, then due to testosterone in certain fetuses, it fuses and closes up to become the penis. The seam is still visible as a penile rapthe, which all humans born with a penis have.
So, yes, you could make one from the other, although I don’t think the current state of science allows that to be done well.
OP redditor sez
Um, truth and lies are pretty much being assaulted by OP redditor and thier ilk. Beauty and ugliness are way subjective so why conflate them like that? (I know the answer; dishonesty and deceit!)
CleverForAGirl – I got a random subscription to Better Homes and Gardens a few years ago. I also wondered if maybe a neighbor did it as a hint (I still do) since our approach to landscaping consists of mowing the lawn every now and then* and deadheading the roses in Summer.
I hope your outcome is as benign as mine was. The subscription ran out and that was the end of it.
*Husbeast liked to let the grass go to seed before mowing which runs afoul of city ordinances. We have since stopped watering the lawn because *drought* but they don’t like that any better unless you spend a load of $ on mulch or rock. Which we’ll have to do soon. >:(
Must confess I’d never heard of Jodie Whittaker. A quick Google though shows not only is she from Yorkshire, she’s from West Yorkshire, which is the best Yorkshire. So she’ll obviously be the best Doctor ever.
She’s actually from a place called Skelmanthorpe (Which, for unknown reasons, the locals call ‘Shat’).
She should use the local dialect. That would really give the TARDIS translation circuits a workout.
@ vicky p
Oh wow, I’d never heard that version before, but it was truly beautiful. I actually welled up a little. Thank you! 🙂
I do love though that our anthem basically warns that Yorkshire love affairs are doomed to death and cannibalism because the climate is so horrible. And that video was put out by the tourist board.
ETA: This is so accurate it’s scary.
https://youtu.be/6VLYpKGVBUg