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By David Futrelle
Watch out, straight dudes! The government is coming for your manhood!
Or at least that’s the accusation being leveled at internet Nazis. On neo-Nazi internet tip sheet The Daily Stormer, the writer known as Zeiger points to a six-month old Science Daily article reporting the results of a large-scale study designed to more accurately determine “normal” testosterone levels in men. Shockingly, to Zeiger at least, the study determined that the old “normal’ range was a bit high. The CDC and medical testing companies are adjusting their standards accordingly.
Zeiger is not pleased. “The chemical castration of the Western male is about to be kicked up to the next level,” he warns. “It’s a transparent push to feminize men and normalize being a low-T f*ggot.”
Zeiger warns that the new “normal” could even lead to the government trying to TERK OUR TERTOSTERONE!
[T]f this process continues, you could start seeing men with healthy testosterone begin to be seen as “pathological” because their levels are “too high” compared with the new standard. So power-lifters who watch their diets could start being prescribed drugs to lower their T levels.
First they came for the power lifters …
Over on his blog, Nazoid pickup artist James “Heartiste” Weidmann raises the alarm in even more outlandish prose.
Mother fucking yahweh, this is a declaration of war against masculinity. The ruling class wants a compliant and pacified herd of puppy dogs in place of the White men who could pose a threat to their ill-gotten and corrupted sinecures.
The soyfatted manboobed weepy feminist nümale is not a meme. It’s real!
Hey, I think he means me!
Think about the implications. Are you a high T man who’s within the formerly normal range of male serum testosterone level? Guess what, you’re now suffering from pathologically high testosterone. Report to your nearest feminization camp for the requisite T-lowering Mazeltov cocktail of beta blockers, SSRIs, estrogen, dissolved birth control pills drawn from the local tap, and opioids.
There is a Western-wide War on Men, because the effete low T Globohomo taintlickers that have somehow wormed their way into power and laugh at the plebs assaulted by Diversity™ from behind their gated communities know…they KNOW fam…that testosterone is the elixir of the god emperors, and a million god emperors whose veins flow with the power of T and whose hearts are opened to ethereal channels of connection to their mighty warrior ancestors through their shared high T heritage are the ONLY FOE WITH THE FORCE OF WILL to oust the degenerate elite from their plush sanctums.
I think Heartiste is huffing something, but it’s not testosterone.
Pull the Goylent feeding tube from your soulgut and reclaim your rightful place in the pantheon of powerful White men as heir to a noble race of warrior poets.
Sorry dude, but making up words like “globohomo” and “Goylant” doesn’t actually make you a poet, much less a warrior.
Our government is evil. It wants to pathologize masculine men and normalize fat women. The bureaucratic machine and its elite operators assault the very notion of Truth and Beauty, which they want replaced with Lies and Ugliness. This is our generation’s war, and I can’t think of a nobler reason to fight than the nature of our enemy…a globalist swarm of soulless atomized grubby usurers with no attachment to anything but their continued power.
So Heartiste is declaring war on … fat people? Well, if it’s on, it’s on. So, fellow fatties, if you ever run across Mr. Weidmann, I suggest you gut-check him to the ground and sit on him.
I remember an episode of Xena: Warrior Princess in which someone (Callisto, maybe) got hold of some ambrosia and was menacingly waving it around. It looked like a misshapen Gummi Bear.
It seems to me, these Manosphere types are fetishizing masculinity. This can’t lead to anything good. I wasn’t gonna mention it, because I’m a woman, but then I thought, men have been attempting to fetishize femininity for millennia, so why SHOULDN’T I bring it up?
About the taint: I’m a little ashamed to admit I even read this book, but in Ron Jeremy’s memoir, “The Hardest-Working Man in Show Business”, he uses the word to describe the area between the vulva and the anus, and describes it as such.
I actually knew a cis man who went on some sort of T blocker because his testosterone levels were well above typical. He was forced to take them by the Canadian Feminization Council, or CFC, and lived a terrible life as a result. Wait, no, sorry, I’m remembering that wrong. What actually happened is he voluntarily sought out help because he was engaging in escalating risky behaviours with sex and drugs and he couldn’t seem to stop himself. He was a much happier person after his hormone levels had leveled out.
But, you know, fuck that guy, right, Heartiste? He should have continued to suffer and maybe put himself into an early grave, for the sake of The Great Masculinity.
@Jesalin
Hurray for your surgery! Best of luck.
@VP
That’s the hard part, I tend to be impatient and rather quick to blame myself if something isn’t going well.
@Dali
Thanks!
@Jesalin
I would actually add onto what VP said and advise that you not beat yourself up if you don’t hit your weight goals at all. Weight equals beauty standards, not health, and beauty standards are intentionally unattainable. It’s much healthier to be happy than miserable, which is the only choice that most of us get to make regarding our weight.
So don’t be hard on yourself. Don’t even be hard on yourself if you wind up being hard on yourself, because culture is difficult to shake. Be as kind to you as you would be to others.
JODIE WHITTAKER IS THE NEW DOCTOR WHO
On an unrelated note, I’m guessing there are several (dozen) angry screeds currently being written about the announcement of a woman playing the next Doctor Who.
@SpecialFrog: oh, no doubt. SUCK IT, HATERZZZ !
I’ll worry about the BBC neglecting, failing to promote, and generally ignoring the show until they can shitcan Whittaker and cast Kris Marshall in the morning. Today is a happy day.
Back from out-a-town taking my granddaughter on a train ride. I see we’ve done the righties a service, allaying James “Weedy”-man’s fears of a “T-free” society and have moved on to a discussion of diet and health. That’s precisely why I LOVE THIS PLACE!!!!
My own experience, a couple years ago I went to the doctor with complaints of “feeling poo-ey” all the time. i was up around 225lbs, on a husky 5’6″ frame, and my exercise regimen leaned heavily away from the physical. The doc asked about my diet, what I ate, how often, and for how long, etc. My response contained a lot of terms like “Oreo cookies”, “Coca-cola”, etc. The good doc mused that while it was phenomenal I was still alive, if I wanted to feel better, I should get off my couch more, and shift my diet radically. I now eat a large fresh salad and a bowl of fresh fruit daily, and take a 3/4-mile walk. I’m down to 205-ish, though the goal of under-200-ness has been… elusive.
On the down side, my food costs doubled instantly…. Fresh food is expensive!!
@Specialffrog
You would be correct. I read some of the comments on Facebook. It wasn’t pretty.
I actually haven’t watched the last few seasons because I didn’t like what Moffat did to the story. The actual plot got so convoluted and it was always just used to show how amazing and special the Doctor was. Maybe I’ll come back to the show now that there is a new show runner and a new Doctor.
@ OP
Get knotted twits. Come back when you understand biology and have read the papers explaining the change to the testosterone standards.
@diet talk.
Can we not? I’m struggling with my food thinking patterns at the minute – moving is messing with all my mental illnesses. It doesn’t help that I need to empty my fridge-freezer to defrost it for collection next week so my food choices are getting more limited.
Broccoli – my mum’s partner has been banned from cruciferous vegetables since his heart problems started after a heart attack last year. One of my friends can’t eat a lot of veg, or any meat at all, since her recent Crohnes flair up, including broccoli. I’d never heard of it until both of them mentioned it. I think it must be more common than most people realise.
@Jesalin
Best of luck with the surgery, I hope it goes well.
I was going to say something else but I can’t remember what it was.
Oh, hang on, I remember now. My brain is frazzled because I’m moving next week.
I too was given a diagnosis by my clinical psychiatrist that I had Asperger’s, or high functioning autism last winter, January I think. I’m waiting for an official diagnosis from the Autism Spectrum Conditions team here but it’s taking months to get an appointment because there are so few specialists who can do the assessments. It has helped, having the diagnosis, after all this time. My parents have been saying for over thirty years, something was different about me. They kept being told I’d grow out of it or to avoid certain foods. Didn’t work. But now I know I can understand, and try to find support. And I don’t feel bad about stimming in public anymore. If anyone gives me shit for it I just tell them I’m autistic and need to stim to cope with a situation they’re making worse by questioning it.
Anyway, I just wanted to say, Jesalin, I hope having the diagnosis makes things easier for you and your assessments go well.
@ AsAbove;
Hudson Leick’s “Callisto” is just THE BEST “unhinged-bad-guy” on the small screen!!!
“Daddy, what’s that glow on the horizon?”
“That’s Reddit melting down, son. We should stay indoors.”
The last three seasons have been about the companions
fight mesorry, that was needlessly confrontationalbut
if someon hasn’t been paying attention to the show for years I’m not sure how valid their opinions can be about the current state of the show.
We finally got a woman Doctor? Whoo hoo! I’ll have to head over to Io9 and drink some of the male nerd tears now. Tee hee!
And congrats Jessalin on the surgery, hope all goes well.
I hate this shit. A lot of industries are subsidized by the government. Yet you don’t see the behavior of farmers or energy executives or pharma executives constantly policed. Even though their subsidies dwarf the maybe 100 bucks a month that the EBT user was kidding. Gee, I wonder why that is.
I also wonder how these people are even noticing this? I’m sure I’ve been in a grocery line with an EBT user several times. Yet the only time I ever noticed was this one time when the scanner was having difficulty or the card wasn’t processing or something like that and the line was held. Who is cataloging what the people around them are buying and then watching what their payment methods are? Get a fucking life, nosy assholes! And people claim that progressives are looking for trivial things to get outraged about! *ahem* ZumahZumah *cough, cough*
And for the millionth fucking time, you can’t buy tobacco products with an EBT card. The limitations are built into the computer systems that registers use so it’s not like a cashier can even cheat and let customers purchase cigarettes or alcohol. People are so ignorant and annoying.
I’m joining in on the 13th Doctor celebration. That’s a heck of a role for anybody to take on, and I hope Jodie Whittaker enjoys every minute of it.
I haven’t seen the Capaldi episodes, mostly because of telly issues and because I am forgetful; I’m looking forward to the new series, but I think I’ll have to try to find a way to catch up on missed episodes so I know what’s been happening.
I have already seen complaints from (mostly) men about the new Doctor being a woman, while it was still only being mooted as a possibility. This morning on Facebook a couple of groups I’m in (We aten’t dead and Men yelling indistinctly) were taking the piss out of whiners on a Daily Hate Mail site story about the potential for a woman being the Doctor.
@Weird Eddie: It was such a wonderfully wacky show. I spent half the time rolling my eyes and the other half enthralled.
Couldn’t find Callisto, but here’s Velasca with the Divine Gummi Bear. http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-ieZsEhabKFA/TkWBcuHqmWI/AAAAAAAAAiI/Xu0lh3ugkGo/s1600/2.png
I remember someone telling me, on a “why are you even talking on random facebook posts” random facebook post, that it was ridiculous to consider that the Doctor could ever be a woman because it’s stupid that his dick would just drop off.
I’d already addressed regeneration, and “gender norms aren’t even that rigid on Earth; why would they be more rigid in Space?” so I was just pleased to point out “The Doctor’s an alien of a kind to which we cannot relate our own experiences; it’d be entirely fine for the writers to put in ‘yeah, after your twelfth regeneration, your dick just drops off. Permanently. Just regenerate, plop!, on the floor’.”
So if that line gets into the episode, I have been hired by the BBC’s writing team at the last moment, and who can blame them?
Hahaha. A male commenter on Io9 expressed joy over the casting and a troll asked him if he was just saying that to get laid and then proclaimed that he was a wimp who wouldn’t survive a terrorist attack. I love the mental gymnastics that righties go through to assure themselves that every other man is a narcissistic piece of shit who thinks the whole universe should revolve around his penis.
But it’s not stupid that they completely change height and weight and hair/eye color, become different ages and have different accents?
How do we know the male doctors even had dicks? You never see them have PIV sex or anything. You never see their genitals. They are aliens after all.
If they do have dicks, aren’t the clitoris and the penis made out of the same material? Aren’t clits pretty big, they’re just mostly internal? You could make one out of the other couldn’t you?
@EJ
Are you sure that glow isn’t aurora? There are some high Kp numbers right now. (I’m a little excited about this.)
@Weird Eddy
Can we please not praise weight loss for the sake of weight loss? It really reinforces negative thought patterns in people recovering from eating disorders. I’m personally having a really hard time right now convincing myself that putting myself back on a diet that would make me sick is a bad idea.
Edit: Time. I’m having a hard time. Not a hard Tim.
Re: Xena…
My son was about 9 or so, and he was doing a school paper on mythology, and wanted some pics of the characters from the Xena series off the ‘net. We sat down at the ‘puter, and in my naivete, I proceeded to “educate” both him and myself, as I discovered… “Goddess pictures” is not a good thing to Google when researching mythology with your 9-year-old!!!
O_o
ETA: @ Kupo, apologies, I will try not to do that again.
Warrior Poets?
Does he mean his barely literal pack of knuckle-dragging hate mongers?
Has he ever read the books that came out during the Nazi era? Spoiler: They were really bad. Not (just) in a moral sense. Turns out you can’t be creative when you’re too brainwashed to think outside of your own box.