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Nazi idiots accuse CDC of lowering “normal” testosterone range in plot to turn men gay

Typical low-testosterone gay men

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By David Futrelle

Watch out, straight dudes! The government is coming for your manhood!

Or at least that’s the accusation being leveled at internet Nazis. On neo-Nazi internet tip sheet The Daily Stormer, the writer known as Zeiger points to a six-month old Science Daily article reporting the results of a large-scale study designed to more accurately determine “normal” testosterone levels in men. Shockingly, to Zeiger at least, the study determined that the old “normal’ range was a bit high. The CDC and medical testing companies are adjusting their standards accordingly.

Zeiger is not pleased. “The chemical castration of the Western male is about to be kicked up to the next level,” he warns. “It’s a transparent push to feminize men and normalize being a low-T f*ggot.”

Zeiger warns that the new “normal” could even lead to the government trying to TERK OUR TERTOSTERONE!

[T]f this process continues, you could start seeing men with healthy testosterone begin to be seen as “pathological” because their levels are “too high” compared with the new standard. So power-lifters who watch their diets could start being prescribed drugs to lower their T levels.

First they came for the power lifters …

Over on his blog, Nazoid pickup artist James “Heartiste” Weidmann raises the alarm in even more outlandish prose.

Mother fucking yahweh, this is a declaration of war against masculinity. The ruling class wants a compliant and pacified herd of puppy dogs in place of the White men who could pose a threat to their ill-gotten and corrupted sinecures.

The soyfatted manboobed weepy feminist nümale is not a meme. It’s real! 

Hey, I think he means me!

Think about the implications. Are you a high T man who’s within the formerly normal range of male serum testosterone level? Guess what, you’re now suffering from pathologically high testosterone. Report to your nearest feminization camp for the requisite T-lowering Mazeltov cocktail of beta blockers, SSRIs, estrogen, dissolved birth control pills drawn from the local tap, and opioids.

There is a Western-wide War on Men, because the effete low T Globohomo taintlickers that have somehow wormed their way into power and laugh at the plebs assaulted by Diversity™ from behind their gated communities know…they KNOW fam…that testosterone is the elixir of the god emperors, and a million god emperors whose veins flow with the power of T and whose hearts are opened to ethereal channels of connection to their mighty warrior ancestors through their shared high T heritage are the ONLY FOE WITH THE FORCE OF WILL to oust the degenerate elite from their plush sanctums.

I think Heartiste is huffing something, but it’s not testosterone.

Pull the Goylent feeding tube from your soulgut and reclaim your rightful place in the pantheon of powerful White men as heir to a noble race of warrior poets.

Sorry dude, but making up words like “globohomo” and  “Goylant” doesn’t actually make you a poet, much less a warrior.

Our government is evil. It wants to pathologize masculine men and normalize fat women. The bureaucratic machine and its elite operators assault the very notion of Truth and Beauty, which they want replaced with Lies and Ugliness. This is our generation’s war, and I can’t think of a nobler reason to fight than the nature of our enemy…a globalist swarm of soulless atomized grubby usurers with no attachment to anything but their continued power.

So Heartiste is declaring war on … fat people? Well, if it’s on, it’s on. So, fellow fatties, if you ever run across Mr. Weidmann, I suggest you gut-check him to the ground and sit on him.

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Sarah
Sarah
7 years ago

I mean, have they had their testosterone levels tested against what was the previous “normal”? Seems pretty ridiculously half-cocked for them to be making assumptions that even they meet those standards. A rage-boner isn’t necessarily indicative of one’s hormonal cocktail…

kupo
kupo
7 years ago

The soyfatted manboobed weepy feminist nümale is not a meme. It’s real!

Hey, I think he means me!

*snort*

Alan Robertshaw
Alan Robertshaw
7 years ago

Globohomo taintlickers

Translating this into English I presume globohomo means gay men and taintlickers is a reference to cunnilingus.

Now I’m no expert on the sexual preferences of gay men, but…

Andy Cooper
Andy Cooper
7 years ago

I refer each and every one of the dingbats perpetually and publically outraged about the DANGERS OF GAY, to Haggard’s Law.

http://rationalwiki.org/wiki/Haggard%27s_Law

Scumbag_Stormtrooper
Scumbag_Stormtrooper
7 years ago

@Alan Robertshaw

I believe what Globohomo means is ‘Globalist Homosexuals’ which… how can you identify a man’s sexuality or their political leanings? Is Milo a Natohomo?

Also, taintlickers is obviously one tier below bootlicker, because I’m pretty sure not even the Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson’s taint would be at all an appetizing look.

dreemr
dreemr
7 years ago

“Soulgut”???

PeeVee the (Perpetually Ignored, Invisible but Noice) Sarcastic
PeeVee the (Perpetually Ignored, Invisible but Noice) Sarcastic
7 years ago

So I guess ascertaining correct levels of testosterone to prevent medical misdiagnosis is somehow a bad thing, now.

But I thought men’s health issues relating to their reproductive choices were A Very Important Men’s Issue, and maintaining tesosterone levels were useful in spawning as many white babies to offset the White Genocide?

Or is that out of vogue where white supremacist shitstains are concerned?

Or do they just like to bitch about women…ah, okay. I got it.

mcbender
mcbender
7 years ago

Are Mazel Tov cocktails just a thing now? (Okay, we do tend to serve alcohol at occasions on which Mazel Tov is said, so I guess strictly speaking it’s not wrong, but somehow I don’t think it means what they think it means…)

That said, these people make me feel good about having low testosterone. When that test result came back a few years ago I told the doctors I didn’t consider it a problem and wanted nothing to do with ‘treating’ it.

Then again, I doubt these guys actually know anything about their testosterone levels, they just think that because obviously they’re such pinnacles of masculinity they must have high levels because of course those things are correlated. How many unwarranted assumptions is that?

(It also occurs to me that ‘Mother fucking Yahweh’ is just an accurate description if you take account of certain elements of standard Christian theology…)

Dalillama: Irate Social Engineer

@Andy Cooper
Stop with that shit. Seriously, just fucking stop.

Moggie
Moggie
7 years ago

Pretty sure the elixir of God Emperors is melange, not testosterone.

Also, I’m not sure what a nümale is, but it sounds metal af.

Jules
Jules
7 years ago

I find it strange when Nazis invoke the Jewish God…

Flora
Flora
7 years ago

As a public health person this makes me pull out my hair. They did not change the reference ranges, they adjusted results based on a better test. The testosterone levels of the men were the same, they just changed the measurement so it’s standardized?

And they explicitly excluded obese men?

And the test is to detect HYPOgonadism better, so fewer men who are normal will be misdiagnosed?

And just no this is not how you science. For master of the universe STEM brains they somehow fail to grasp the basics of study design. But then what do I know I’m just here to fill a quota, tee hee! *twirls hair*

Still Fiqah
Still Fiqah
7 years ago

Sooooooo here’s what’s gonna happen:

1. Somewhere down the line, one of these racist fucknuggets is going to stumble across all those scientific studies that suggest that Black bodies that primarily produce testosterone* make more of it naturally than White bodies that do

2. In the ensuing panic over this brand new assault on cishet White masculinity, a new narrative of racist fucknuggetry will emerge, one that establishes whatever testosterone level median that cishet White men have as “normal” and “ideal”

3. As this happens, a coinciding supporting narrative that posits high testosterone as primitive, animalistic, dangerous, violent and undesirable will also emerge

4. The lower levels will be praised and invoked as further proof that White people are exponentially biologically superior to people of color, Black people especially

*I say “bodies” because not everyone for whom this is true identifies as a man and I wish we could remember that in hormone discussions

But really. Wait for it.

Ooglyboggles
Ooglyboggles
7 years ago

No mention of Ambrosia from those that stake claim of Greek culture? For shame.
@Moggie
Apparently it means “person with a lack of self respect and goes to defend feminists at a drop of a hat.”

(((VioletBeauregarde))): Crooked Nasty Social Justice Necromancer
(((VioletBeauregarde))): Crooked Nasty Social Justice Necromancer
7 years ago

Our government is evil. It wants to…normalize fat women. 

Hate (Love) to break it to you, Fartiste, but fat people have ALWAYS existed! People have ALWAYS come in all shapes and sizes–if that bugs you, go play in traffic! Also…you do realize that men, women and nonbinary people all have both estrogen AND testosterone, right?

Oh wait, it’s Fartiste and his ilk I’m talking about–those assclowns won’t accept any fact that threatens their bullshit narrative.

Paradoxical Intention - Leader of the Deathclaw Damsels

Funny, I keep seeing all these ads on TV at work for testosterone boosting pills. Those channels must be renegades, working against our anti-male government!

Who knew that ESPN was so very rebellious? [/sarcasm]

Paradoxical Intention - Leader of the Deathclaw Damsels

Funny, I keep seeing all these ads on TV at work for testosterone boosting pills. Those channels must be renegades, working against our anti-male government!

Who knew that ESPN was so very rebellious? [/sarcasm]

Nikki the Bluth Wannabe
Nikki the Bluth Wannabe
7 years ago

I’d pick a

soyfatted manboobed weepy feminist nümale

as Heartiste says over him or any of his ilk. They’re actually decent people, and they’re definitely smarter than Heartiste.

A5PECT
A5PECT
7 years ago

Ah, yes. The old “testosterone = masculine = good” line of logic.

Because shallow oversimplification is the best way to approach the gargantuanly intricate and nuanced realms of human physiology and medical science.

Fujimoto
Fujimoto
7 years ago

About as articulate as the rants from John C. Wright I had been reading. Heartiste sounds very similar to him.

Haise, the husky puppy
Haise, the husky puppy
7 years ago

What I find most ironic is how quickly nazis want to assemble themselves like they’re an elite fighting force. “You’re warriors!”, “This is fighting a war!”, “Fight for the noble cause!” etc.. etc.

For this call to action, they seem to go nuts over. Like they’re at playing war but too scared to enlist.

Angrily trolling online or posting Anti-SWJ/Pro Trump memes on your twitter account will never, ever, ever, ever compare to actual combat.

But, um.. warrior poets does sound pretty cool. How do I become one? Do I hurl copies of The Divine Comedy at people?

Diego Duarte
Diego Duarte
7 years ago

What is it with Nazis and body-shaming?

Considering every single 4chan prick and Daily Stormer I’ve run across IRL was either scrawny or severely out of shape I hardly think they should be promoting hatred of fat people. I mean look at Steve Bannon for instance.

Or maybe it’s self-destructive behavior?

Policy of Madness
Policy of Madness
7 years ago

What is it with Nazis and body-shaming?

Maybe look at the way your next paragraph body-shamed Nazis and that question might answer itself.

Or maybe it’s self-destructive behavior?

You tell me.

JS
JS
7 years ago

If one hates as much as they seem to, hating oneself becomes much much easier.

These words he uses, I don’t think they mean what he thinks they mean.

Has any non-self published author (excluding anything from Castalia House) ever used the word soulgut? Even google has only found “about 566 results” for it.

Dalillama: Irate Social Engineer

@Haise

But, um.. warrior poets does sound pretty cool. How do I become one? Do I hurl copies of The Divine Comedy at people?

Well, what you do is, you learn to kick ass, and also the arts. The warrior ideals of cultures from Ireland to Japan have included skill in poetry and music (and often painting and other artistic pursuits) alongside skill at arms.

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