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By David Futrelle
One brave “involuntarily celibate” Redditor has come up with what I think you’ll have to admit is an ingenious way to get around the fact that no living human woman wants to have sex with him: have sex with women who are “recently deceased!”
I mean, it’s not like they can say no after they’re dead! Heck, they won’t even notice that you’re having sex with them, being dead and all. No harm no foul!
Posting in the now-banned IncelHeaven subreddit last November, a fellow with the charming name SaintElliot — and yes, this is a reference to killer incel Elliot Rodger — put forth this delightful proposal:
What an amazing example of “thinking outside the box” if by “box” you mean “coffin.”
A glance through SaintElliot’s posting history on Reddit — even though he’s clearly deleted a lot of things — suggests that he’s at least semi-serious about this proposal.
I have so many questions. Would this sex take place in funeral homes or morgues? If the former, would funeral homes have to set up separate viewing and sex hours to accommodate both mourners and sex-hungry incel necrophiliacs? If the latter, would morgues be open 24/7 to serve incels’ sex-with-dead-women needs? Would there be beds provided or would the incels just have to bed their dead lovers on the cold slabs?
And then there is the most important question of all: How exactly does SaintElliot know that “[t]he pussy of females can be used even 2 days after their death?”
I shudder to think.
H/T — This one is going around on Twitter now, thanks to Lyzzy for pointing it out to me; it was also highlighted on FSDT.net back in November.
So now I’m just caught up imagining some incel who needs an organ transplant. And the organ comes from…. a woman! Will he take it!?
Yup. It’s not about sexual pleasure.
You have really awesome sex if the other person is turned on and likes you and wants to have sex with you. Studies of incarcerated serial rapists show that they get more sexual pleasure out of that type of consensual sex than out of raping someone. It’s about domination, a lack of concern for others, or a need to have a sense of masculinity validated.
What the fuck.
I wish there was some way to report this to the authorities. If this guy already knows what raping dead bodies and animals feels like, he’s already a criminal, and likely a serial killer in the making. Bestiality and necrophilia are fairly common behaviors for serial killers.
Ah, bugger – I was in the process of making a throwaway right when he got banned (holy hell, Twitter banned a Nazi? First time for everything), but after sleeping on it, Bina’s probably right. Didn’t even think of that at the time, heh, I just saw the cancer and thought “OH CRAP.” Well, thanks for putting up with my seriously misplaced morals, all. ^^;;
And that’s enough derailing from me!
This is the worst episode of criminal minds ever.
I don’t think Criminal Minds even went this far. Close, oh most definitely, but not all the way.
@Lisa
Several people have reported him to the FBI, at least if you trust comments on his posts. It’s possible to report users by messaging the mods on /r/reddit.com, it looks like.
He’s admitted to bestiality, so he could be prosecuted solely on that. The problem is that bestiality wasn’t illegal in some US states at some point in the past few years.
The grossness! The creepiness! The entitlement! I can’t even–*does a scream like at the beginning of the Slayer song Angel Of Death*
@Bina
Sure.
And here’s what they don’t want:
Men being murdered in the streets for raping corpses.
Men being mistaken for corpse rapists and murdered in the streets because of that.
Etc.,
etc.,
etc.
Hey, incels: Do you think we wouldn’t fight back? Fools.
In Washington where I grew up, it was legal until the 2005 Enumclaw horse sex case. I was a senior in high school at the time and man, you could not even mention horses for like a year without setting off the jokes.
The best one I remember was “It was a Trojan horse.”
@katz
You still can’t mention Enumclaw without some people’s minds going there. Also, I didn’t know you also grew up here. *Waves*
“We’re located conveniently near Mount Rainier National Park, but do they call us Enumclaw, the Mount Rainier city? No!
“We’re a great place to explore Washington’s local wineries, but do they call us Enumclaw, the winery city? No!
“We host the Pacific Northwest Scottish Highland Games, but do they call us Enumclaw, the Scottish Highland Games city? No!
“But one guy fucks one horse…”
Alan,
I so need to watch Father Ted.
And yeah, that’s kinda sorta what happens to my family; eyes swell shut, gets hard for them to breathe, the whole nine.
Sigh.
I love da kits, but I love the fam more.
I ran this one by my husband, who has stated for the record that if fucking corpses becomes a requirement for organ donors, he is having himself removed from the list.
There are bits better than others, obviously, but Father Ted includes probably some of the funniest TV ever made in English (there are scenes such as Father Dougal McGuire on theology that have made me cry laughing. There are also a few that make me cringe a bit, but that’s probably just me).
OK, so I have one question. The incels usually demand hot young women. If you are over 25 years of age you are an old hag that no real man would ever fuck. Incelology 101. But most women who die are way older than 25. The supply of fresh fuckable corpse pussy will be very low. …I have changed my mind, I don’t think I want to know.
This might be the most horrible sentence I have written in my entire life.
@opposablethumbs
Nah, you’re right, there’s a couple cringy bits.
Thank you, @Gatecrasher, for sending my mind to the bad place. I honestly thought I had built up an immunity to horrible, but apparently I was wrong.
@Gatecrasher
Well if the supply is low and demand is high time to take advice from Repo: The Genetic Opera and stop this train of thought right there.
@History Nerd
Is it that study https://link.springer.com/article/10.1007%2FBF01542105?LI=true ? Because I want such a study for my Frequently-Argued-Quarrels-mindmap. Please?
@History Nerd
Oh, uhm, I meant that one, sorry, I’m a bit excited over this.
@Lyzzy, I don’t have access to that study so can’t confirm or deny anything, but I do know that Springer is really good (for your first link) and they don’t publish garbage.
(Nevermind the fact that they’re where I’ve been published…)
Your second link, the book, has a high number of citations and is consistent with other findings, so you can probably trust what it says! Written 2013, too, so should be quite up to date.
Here’s another article you might find useful:
http://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S0162309596000763
“A test of the mate deprivation hypothesis of sexual coercion”
Let me know if you need/want details from the paper, I have that one.
Gatecrasher,
That is a good point. They probably also wouldn’t want a corpse that been necrophiled by a lot of other incels. That would make them sluts and sluts are too gross for an incel’s discerning taste!
It reminds of the Buffy episode Some Assembly Required. This guy along his friend finds a way to bring his deceased brother back to life. But brother is lonely. So they try to make a hot girlfriend out of the parts of young women who had died in a bus crash. But none of the heads work because the brains weren’t fresh enough. So they decide to kidnap and kill Cordelia to get her head.
It really wouldn’t surprise me if incels advocated killing women so that they could have enough fresh corpses.
Eugh. This whole thread. This, just, eugh.
I am seriously contemplating removing my organ donor status from my license.
shudder
Surely this a-hole was just making this all up to shock people because he deludes himself that it makes him cool, right?
Uh, right?
Anyway, have some of this:
http://imgur.com/SSa9QpW