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By David Futrelle
One brave “involuntarily celibate” Redditor has come up with what I think you’ll have to admit is an ingenious way to get around the fact that no living human woman wants to have sex with him: have sex with women who are “recently deceased!”
I mean, it’s not like they can say no after they’re dead! Heck, they won’t even notice that you’re having sex with them, being dead and all. No harm no foul!
Posting in the now-banned IncelHeaven subreddit last November, a fellow with the charming name SaintElliot — and yes, this is a reference to killer incel Elliot Rodger — put forth this delightful proposal:
What an amazing example of “thinking outside the box” if by “box” you mean “coffin.”
A glance through SaintElliot’s posting history on Reddit — even though he’s clearly deleted a lot of things — suggests that he’s at least semi-serious about this proposal.
I have so many questions. Would this sex take place in funeral homes or morgues? If the former, would funeral homes have to set up separate viewing and sex hours to accommodate both mourners and sex-hungry incel necrophiliacs? If the latter, would morgues be open 24/7 to serve incels’ sex-with-dead-women needs? Would there be beds provided or would the incels just have to bed their dead lovers on the cold slabs?
And then there is the most important question of all: How exactly does SaintElliot know that “[t]he pussy of females can be used even 2 days after their death?”
I shudder to think.
H/T — This one is going around on Twitter now, thanks to Lyzzy for pointing it out to me; it was also highlighted on FSDT.net back in November.
Oh…oh god no…just…*vomits*
SEX. IS NOT. A RESOURCE!!!
*****HULK SMASH*****
Welcome to Mamie’s Funeral Home.
Someone in that Twitter thread (or maybe it was here) mentioned that if he’s so sure there’s no harm involved, he’s certainly okay with people using his remains in a like manner, right?
Hi David! Thanks for filling my daily quota of visceral shock in a single post. I never imagined that I would think of men who buy and, ahem…use RealDolls as “the good ones”, but you’ve managed to adjust my thinking with a few short paragraphs of skin-crawling horror.
So, thanks?
But…
*stops*
What….um…
*stops*
Nope, it’s no good. If he doesn’t understand why this is wrong, I don’t know where to start.
He does know that nothing is more alive with toxic flora than a corpse?…..Isn’t a hazmat suit going to kill the mood? Or maybe he wants all those sexy bacteria?
Nope.
I’ve got nothing.
Surely these guy are trying to incite the greatest revulsion and disgust in others as some kind of pathetic power bid? We know they hate women, and appear to hate society in general, but aren’t they engaged in oneupmanship against each other in trying to be as outrageous as possible?
I have virtually no sympathy for someone who calls themselves ‘incel’ and contributes to the ‘debate’ that they indulge in on reddit/ wherever, but I do believe that the proportion of people on the forum who would actually consider necrophilia to be acceptable MUST be very very small.
The great Maggie Smith has a comment:
Yeah, this guy’s murdered and raped (in that order) at least one woman. No other options.
“Come downstairs…”
Wait, an incel subreddit has been banned? Why not the main one?
This is profoundly nasty, even for incels. And I don’t know which option is nastier: that he’ll fuck all dead women (and girls), regardless of their age at death, or that he’ll be discriminating and only fuck “pre-Wall” dead women.
Didn’t they make an X-Files episode about this guy? Two, if I recall correctly? I think it starred Nick Chinlund as the terrifyingly creepy corpse perv….
Either that or Harry Russo has learned how to use a computer. (TW: Look up that name at your own risk unless you’re a Diamanda Hagan fan).
My avatar pic is of a recently deceased female, so I hope SaintElliot doesn’t come sniffing around here.
It’s funny how he refers to incel organ donors. It appears he believes that consent is important before you can use a dead guy’s kidneys, but not a dead woman’s “pussy”.
If this is a serious proposal, rather than just edgelord bullshit, his standards for a partner are so low that there are already inanimate and totally legal objects which would work better for his needs. Except that this is not really about sex, is it? It’s about violation.
This guy evidently expects dead female bodies to behave like supermarket cuts of meat (big surprise there). That is, he believes they wouldn’t change significantly after a day or so “in the fridge”, any more than a pack of lamb chops or hamburger does. In his imagination, a recently dead woman would be basically indistinguishable from an unconscious living one, just like a refrigerated pound of boneless chicken breasts you bought yesterday is basically indistinguishable from one you bought today.
Clearly, he hasn’t heard about rigor mortis, hypostatic staining, onset of putrefaction, insect colonization, and all the other oh-so-sexy stuff that happens to cadavers within 48 hours after death.
It would actually be almost amusing in a very sick-humor way to volunteer to donate one’s cadaver for sexual use by bitter “incels”, on condition that they would have to commit to going through with the “resource use” even after they realized how appallingly icky it was.
(TBH, though, the real turn-off for them in that situation would probably be not the decaying-corpse issue but the fact that the woman had consented to it. More and more I’m convinced that the only thing about sex with women that genuinely appeals to “incels” is the idea of somehow being able to force it upon women against their will.)
@Gussie Jives: Yup. A death fetishist who took hair and fingernails and abducted Scully. He later escaped from prison.
And he was also a demon.
Juuuuust…puttin that last bit out there for those of us scrambling to find an explanation, any at all, for this horror.
@Still Fiqah Oh yeah, now it’s coming back to me. That whole “demon” ending just seemed so forced; he was much creepier as the normal-appearing guy he presented himself as.
Jimmy Savile lives. 🙁
I wonder what the mourning friends and family of the dead woman would think about their recently departed loved one being used as wank meat for a horny serial killer wannabe?!
…is that twelve upvotes?
I really don’t have any response to this except to feed him to spiders.
That’s where we are now. This is it. There’s nothing clever for me to say at all.
@Kimstu
When you say “Clearly,” I think you mean “I really hope that”.
Unrelated, but I need opinions: So, this guy’s just another copy-paste alt-right scumbag spamming death threats at random women on Twitter, but his profile pic shows undiagnosed eye cancer. Should I warn him, or would he just turn his attacks towards me? And why do I care? x_x
Yeah… I think Still Fiqah mentioned this a few days back. Fucking gross. For the record I would completely pass on the donated organs of an incel who agreed with this. I’d rather die than have a part of something that toxic in my body.
I hope any incel that tries to molest a woman’s corpse gets an infection from the bacterial and fungal colonies taking hold in the corpse, and their penis goes manky and falls off.
@Scented Fucking Hard Chairs
I mean I’m for sympathy, empathy and all but I’m also of the opinion that Batman indirectly murders hundreds of people by constantly refusing to put down the Joker for good.
In essence what I’m saying is… let things stand as they may 🙂