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By David Futrelle
My new favorite far-right Twitter weirdo is a fellow called @WesternIdentity, a self-described “right wing urban theologian” and “esoteric image cleric” who uses his Twitter account to promote “occult nationalism,” complain that “underground heretical judaism has pushed cuckoldry into our society,” express his love of skittles and post assorted gifs involving Trump getting the better of CNN.
I discovered @WesternIdentity earlier this week after he launched a tirade against the alleged diabolical evil that is short hair on women.
https://twitter.com/WesternIdentity/status/884476141851086848
https://twitter.com/WesternIdentity/status/884477604568412160
Yeah, that’s right, he’s getting all philosophical on our asses.
https://twitter.com/WesternIdentity/status/884478875560017921
He then decided to “rebrand” the cute-sounding pixie cut.
https://twitter.com/WesternIdentity/status/884849174004596736
As longtime readers of this blog know well, @WesternIdentity is hardly the first reactionary doofus to declare war on the pixie cut and short hairdos for women generally.
But he may be the first pixie-cut hater to also suggest that Chelsea Manning — currently sporting, yes, a pixie cut — is some kind of MK Ultra mind control slave, or something.
https://twitter.com/WesternIdentity/status/884470152888274944
It turns out that @WesternIdentity has a lot of, well, interesting opinions about all sorts of stuff, including Satanic CNN pedophiles, which he apparently thinks are a real thing.
https://twitter.com/WesternIdentity/status/882623038222675968
https://twitter.com/WesternIdentity/status/882625249954725888
Oh, but this is just the tip of the iceberg.
https://twitter.com/WesternIdentity/status/884284296273547264
https://twitter.com/WesternIdentity/status/881919902076071942
https://twitter.com/WesternIdentity/status/883748449803526144
https://twitter.com/WesternIdentity/status/881352205881815040
https://twitter.com/WesternIdentity/status/881299483962822657
And check out what is perhaps the world’s hottest take on robots:
https://twitter.com/WesternIdentity/status/881736993151082496
I honestly have no idea if this one is a joke:
https://twitter.com/WesternIdentity/status/879554926560587776
He does post some pretty dank gifs from time to time, though.
https://twitter.com/WesternIdentity/status/881723213033680897
H/T — @spookperson
Manospherians: “We are the pinnacle of logic, unlike those women who are too emotional to have real thoughts.”
Also manospherians: “Some women make grooming and fashion choices that are unnattractive to me personally. This means they are empirically and scientifically unattractive to everyone, and also means society is coming to an end.”
(And yeah, this guy is a little more out there than usual, but is this the first time we’ve heard about how some poor man is being oppressed by short hair – or tattoos – or piercings – etc? Honestly sometimes it seems to be all they talk about)
I wore a pixie cut all through my teens and twenties. Now that I’m ancient, I’m rocking long hair (mostly because it finally has enough body since gray hair is thicker than my formerly baby-fine blonde hair was). I used to run into the occasional guy who’d mourn my hair choice, but that just meant it was easy to winnow them out.
Now it’s just my stylist, who thinks long hair on old ladies makes us look older. 😀 Like it matters!
A Brief List of Things S Has Cried About in Movies:
A Totoro
Moana and Maui arguing
Dory’s parents swim out of frame at the end of the movie
Cinderella’s glass slipper shattering
On the other hand, both A and S love the heck out of Nella the Princess Knight, which routinely features mild peril.
@Falconer – awwww.
My son is a sensitive one, too. I rented ET: the Extraterrestial once and he sat on my lap shaking with anxiety until I turned it off about 10 minutes in. (4 yrs old)
An episode of the original Transformers cartoon where a robot character’s head is squished sent him to his room in tears and he couldn’t get over it for days. (9 yrs old)
An episode of Dark Matter (which had been his favorite show) that dealt with Soviet cosmonauts most likely dying in space. He turned it off and never wanted to see another episode. He was 12 then.
You just never know what’s going to bother them. The same kid can watch “Hellraiser” and “Apocalypse Now” and not be bothered.
Harpies? Yeah, they’re cool, but when it comes to female mythological creatures, nobody can lay a finger on the Penanggalan.
http://orig05.deviantart.net/dde2/f/2012/066/6/2/minasako_himiju_by_broken_orange-d4s0lnv.jpg
There are very few things as visually unsettling to me than a severed head with guts just hanging below. Especially if the guts are prehensile.
*shudders* … just looking at the google search images give me the heebie jeebies.
Wait, let’s corner the market of the Penanggalan-cut. It adds sentience to your summer do for all your multitasking and limb-grabbing needs!
Given this guy’s range of interests, I do have to wonder if his hatred of the pixie cut has its origin in the film ROSEMARY’S BABY (Mia Farrow gets her hair cut short during the course of the film*). In some muddle-headed manner, this may have led him to an association of “short hair for women” and “Satanic conspiracy” (never mind that Rosemary is the victim in that story–she was a woman, so she must have been the real villain).
*When I saw this film with my mother, she explained to me that Farrow had done this to spite her then-husband Frank Sinatra. I in turn explained that Rosemary’s haircut comes straight from the novel, of which the film is a very faithful adaptation**. She preferred her explanation.
**Ira Levin had a story about this. Note that events in ROSEMARY’S BABY can be dated with some precision, as the Pope’s visit to New York City on October 4, 1965 is a crucial event, and the course of Rosemary’s pregnancy is covered in some detail. There is a scene in the novel, meant to demonstrate Guy Woodhouse’s rising success, in which Guy sees an expensive shirt advertised in THE NEW YORKER and goes out and buys it. Roman Polanski, the writer/director of the film, called Levin with a question. He had located the issue of THE NEW YORKER for the week in which that scene occurred, and there was no shirt ad in it. What shirt, he asked, did Levin have in mind? Levin had to admit he had done no research on that and had nothing in particular in mind; he had just assumed that any issue of THE NEW YORKER would have an advertisement for a nice shirt. He decided that Polanski’s surprising attention to such details was due to this being his first Hollywood movie–he did not realize that he was allowed to change things.
It always comes back to hierarchy with these guys. God > man, man > nature, men > women, whites > blacks, adults > children, and so on. There always has to be a ranking. And within those groups, there have to be sub-rankings. That’s especially true for women, and it’s why these guys are so endlessly whiney and nitpicky, and come across sounding like horse breeders. Long hair > short hair, fat > skinny, natural hair color > dyed hair, and on and on and on. No detail is too small to get worked up about.
They’re not content to simply have preferences, and leave it at that. No, their preferences have to be “scientifically” proven, so they can be used as the unquestioned basis for structuring society, so the less-thans can be properly controlled. His rants don’t have anything to do with searching for a realistic partner to share his life with (assuming he’s not exempt from his own assortative mating standards).
You can tell it drives these guys up the wall to see the less-thans finding love and wallowing in happiness. It’s such a violation of their just-world beliefs. If short-haired women with tattoos can get laid, and they can’t, it must mean they rank below short-haired women with tattoos. But that can’t be! They’re men! The hierarchy must be reasserted, by sharia law if necessary!
If they didn’t keep loudly, insistently drawing attention to these imaginary rankings, people would just be free to be attracted to whomever they please, and we can’t have that. Thank goodness we have these manic pixie scream churls to rescue us from the terrible fate of feeling good about ourselves.
@dreemr and Falconer – I had to turn off “Dora’s Birthday Party” halfway through and return it to the library because it was too scary for Twin B. There was a pink cupcake-stealing witch, or something.
Twin A, on the other hand, loves monsters, dragons, and horror. It’s just about impossible to get them to agree on a TV show.
Ohmigosh.
If it didn’t go against my nickname esthete, I would rename myself to Scildfreja, Manic Pixie Scream Churl so darn fast.
@Gussie Jives Well… you can have long discussions and she can be really useful if you have to study for anatomy classes! Med school will be a breeze! 😀
And all she demands in exchange is to suck fetuses out of uteri (if I remember correctly)
@ Buttercup Q. Skullpants
This is a very astute evaluation. I think you’re entirely correct.
Or the closely-related manananggal, which looks slightly less gory (it splits at the waist rather than the neck) but has much worse habits (it eats pregnant women vagina-first). Mythology is weird, man.
The main complaints I’ve heard from assholish guys are against hair buns and sunglasses, presumably because they allegedly don’t require effort or the women are not “naturally” attractive.
Heh. Hair buns and sunglasses are terrible no-effort looks, women are such slobs.
But makeup and fashion are just lies to honey trap men, look at how much effort they put into deceiving innocent doods.
Also lol women take forever getting ready to go out how frivolous they are lol amirite guyse?
And ugh couldn’t you wear a nice skirt an blouse instead of that frumpy pull over and sweats? Don’t be so lazy.
boils from internal pressure
It is so difficult for cis men to understand that their boners just aren’t important to anyone but them.
The axis mundi is not Owen’s insignificant cock.
But, wow. He’s sure it is and spends way to much time and effort trying to prove it.
@TheKND I think I smell a new medical drama coming soon from CBS!
Dr. Penanggalan, M.D. She’s just a regular Malaysian folk spirit just trying to make it in tough Chicago emergency room.
Nurse: “We got a single gunshot wound to the torso who needs emergency surgery!”
Dr. P: “Get 3 units of AB blood stat! And sterilize my colon! This surgery’s gonna take a while!”
Nurse: “Dammit, Doctor, we don’t even know his blood type!”
Dr. P: “Oh, I didn’t have lunch.”
It’s not easy being a creepy floating head-viscera in the big city…
Hospital Administrator: “You’ve gone too far, Dr. Penanggalan! You can’t order a preventative head removal without the patient’s consent!”
Dr. P: “If you’ve got a better way of saving a Leyak, I’d like to hear it!”
…but she still finds a way to make it work.
Dr. P: “I… don’t find the time to go out on many dates.”
Craig: “That’s okay, neither do I. It’s just when I saw your picture… I was taken by your beautiful duodenum….”
Dr. P: “Oh Craig… let’s go back to my place… I can show you my… esophageal sphincter….”
Craig: “Oh my! Our relationship is moving so fast!”
Dr. Penanggalan, M.D. Season premiere Sunday at 8, 7 Central on CBS!
Hospital Administrator: “Didn’t I tell you guys to keep her away from the maternity ward?!”
Dr. P: *burp* 😉
From BBC (sorry no link I’m on my iPhone), Michigan Iraqi Christians who voted for trump facing deportation… yeah, they actually DID say they didn’t think the INS would “come for us”…
I wonder this myself. Not so much anymore, because I don’t have as much contact with cis men in the “potential intimacy” department anymore, but the love affair they have with their penises is just breathtaking.
I’m thinking mostly of the scores of unsolicited penis pics that even I, a middle-aged, obese woman, have received from men I do not know. Why?? WHY???
@ dreemr
I am a cis man, and other cis men’s obsession with penises baffles me, too.
Me, three….
Is that you Mack Major?
@Eddie
We tried to fuckin learn em. Bye, assholes! Hey, can we trade them for some dreamers’ parents?
@dreemr
Well, less love and more obsession. Which, seeing as so many cis dudes literally can’t tell the difference interpersonally, it makes sense that the same applies intrapersonally…
@ Axe
More trumpanzee-learnin’, from CNN some trump voters scared of what the repugnican (un)health care bill will do to them….
It’s CALLED the “Leopards Eating People’s Faces” party, idiots… WHAT DID YOU THINK THEY WERE GONNA DO?!?!?!?!?
Hey, I keep telling that to people but I still get chased out of that children’s playground all the time!
(I am so going to hell for this comment)
@Gussie Jives You are my best friend now!
I was talking to a friend (55 year old cis male) and I was floored that he still thought that whatever his peen preferred was the only preference possible for everyone’s peen. It was actually kind of fun to point out to him that just because he didn’t find tight jeans on a large bum to be attractive, didn’t mean that all others felt the same way! And wouldn’t it be just boring if everyone shared the same preferences? He’s actually a sport about this stuff being pointed out and is open about changing his speech habits and thought processes.
He had hand surgery on both hands and was telling everyone he had the strength of a 6 year old girl. I pointed out that it wasn’t necessary to mention a specific gender as all 6 year old humans are pretty weak compared to a 6′ tall dude. He cheerfully acknowledged that and now just stops his story at “the strength of a six year old”
And- since both of his hands were out of commission, I was able to recommend the use of a fleshlight- about which I learned here at WHTM. He’s very happy with it. 🙂