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By David Futrelle
So the fellows over on the Men Going Their Own Way subreddit are discussing just how much they TOTALLY REFUSE to have sex with women older than 25 — not to worry, fellas, women over 25 don’t want to have sex with you either — and one fellow resorts to an interesting if perhaps imperfect metaphor in order to explain why he at least hypothetically prefers fresh young 18-year-olds to jaded 25-year-old “cock carousel” riders.
![Mikveh 4 points 21 hours ago My logic is such that I imagine a typical girl fucks 12 chads per year, 1 per month, not because she is a slut, just because she knows she has to put out for chad or he will lose interest. So the younger they are, I figure the less cock they've ridden....would you rather have a new pepsi bottle, or one that had taken 12 penises per year since the age of 18? I figure i'd rather drink a pepsi that had 12 penises in it, rather than at the age of 25 say 84 penises(12*7years) permalinkembedunsavereportgive goldreply [–]Onkel_Adolf 10 points 21 hours ago i'd rather drink a pepsi that had 12 penises in it permalinkembedsaveparentreportgive goldreply [–]ififcanIhaveacoatplz 4 points 20 hours ago It bears repeating](https://i0.wp.com/www.wehuntedthemammoth.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/07/penises-e1499389564757.png?ssl=1)
So many questions! Were these 12 penises just dipped in the Pepsi bottle or are they all still stuffed inside of it? How do you squeeze a normal-sized penis through the narrow bottleneck? Would the number of acceptable penises per bottle increase or decrease if the bottle contained Coke or RC Cola or Dr. Pepper instead of Pepsi?
The most important question: How do I get the image of a Pepsi bottle stuffed with penises out of my head?
On a slightly more serious note, I would like to point out that Mikveh’s notion of how many sex partners the typical young women has by the age of 25 is utterly and completely fantastical.
Here’s the actual breakdown of the number of sex partners 25 to 29 year-old American women typically have had, according to a large-scale and widely cited study called the General Social Survey.
As you can see, the number of women that age with 84 sexual partners is more or less zero; it’s literally off the chart. (Presumably sex workers are not included in the survey.) The average number of sexual partners American woman have had by the time they hit their late twenties? Four.
I generated the chart above using a little chart-generator on Slate designed to tell you if “Your Sexual History [Is] As Impressive As You Think.” Try it yourself!
“… we’re tough and we’re Texan with necks good’n red…” Elton John, “Texan Love Song”
Definitely a slur, the etymology of the word “redneck” gives the impression of a word which came from many places. I’ve seen it in literature about the African Cape railways, literature from the very early 20th century, so it certainly precedes the mine wars.
That said, the original lyrics to Florence Reese’s magnificent anthem “Which Side Are You On” (written in 1931 in Harlan County, Kentucky during the coal wars) has the line “… with the rednecks and with the miners…”
Regarding sodas, my favorites are San Pellegrino Blood Orange and Hansen’s Mandarin Orange.
Hansen’s might be California-regional, though…I can’t find it since I moved to the South.
Fanta Orange is available everywhere in the UK, but it’s hard to find grape outside the American shops. Old Jamaica (who also make Ginger Beer) do a good alternative grape soda, most Tesco’s have it. What is harder to get is A&W root beer. The American shop I usually go to sells Frosties.
Fanta has a bit of a chequered history, some say it was created by the Nazis but Snopes says it isn’t true.
http://www.snopes.com/cokelore/fanta.asp
@Scildfreja Unnyðnes Awww. :3 <3
I also notice that Mountain Dew in the UK is not the same lurid colour as in the US, but the bottle is made is flourescent green to compensate.
Interesting commentary here, especially given the MGTOW obsessions with sexbots and “pre-wall” (seriously, 18-year-old maximum???) women….
E.T.A., forgive me if this entire subject just makes my skin crawl….
@ Alan Robershaw
Thank you for the virtual Fanta!
I’m having a Fresca now, which is pretty good.
I would be happy if Crush were easy to find here too. The only orange soda that most stores have is Sunkist, which is caffeinated, so I can’t drink it. Who decided an orange soda needed caffeine?!
@weird Eddie
This reminds me of the original Brian Aldiss story that AI was based on, Supertoys Last All Summer Long. There is a lot of paedo stuff in Aldiss’s stories, I really don’t like him at all. I think the character played by Jude Law in the movie is a child sex robot in the book.
I love the movie Lars and the Real Girl tho, it’s funny and sweet.
Oooh, Orange Crush was my favorite when I was a kid! Canfield’s 50/50, also.
“Storekeeper, Canfield’s for everyone!”
My favorite soda brand name of all time is Pschitt! But the flavor is weirdly chemical. I tried some once, and it left me feeling like I had Gulf War syndrome for about half an hour.
@Weird Eddie Now I’ve got Jackson Browne’s “Redneck Friend” stuck in my head. Which, considering what the song is about, is entirely appropriate for this thread.
And heck, if we’re gonna cram penises into Pepsi bottles, why not drop some Mentos in there too, just to be festive?
Hey Troubelle…a few threads back, you were asking for advice related to your future career, and work in general. Have you ever considered applying for a Federal gov’t job? I know it’s not the most thrilling, glamorous, high-flying employment out there, but consider the positives. The biggest is job security. Sure, the starting salary will be fairly low, but once you’re in the door, you can apply for other positions. You might not care now, but the gov’t can’t show you the door once you turn 40 or 50 years old. Ditto with sex discrimination, and race discrimination. In addition, there are Federal jobs available throughout the US.
I know you said you wanted to develop video games. This can be extrapolated to any number of tasks and jobs.
Anyway, it’s my belief that the US gov’t doesn’t do nearly enough to attract talented, intelligent young people. And, the gov’t definitely has an aging workforce…the baby boomers are retiring en masse, which means opportunity for job-seekers. Probably, some of the vacated positions will end up being abolished, but not all of them.
I don’t wanna seem pushy about it, but it can’t hurt to give it a try. http://www.opm.gov, if you’re at all interested. The”opm” stands for Office of Personnel Management. As far as I know, federal jobs are now applied for via the internet, although there may be a few exceptions to that rule, here and there.
Add some cough syrup and it could be the new Zima with Jolly Ranchers.
I drank some shitty booze products in college, but at least I never sunk as low as Zima with Jolly Ranchers. I can take pride in that.
@Weird Eddie
On the matter of them and the whole “pre-wall”, I’ve never not given mgtows (and rest of the manosphere for that matter) the side eye when it comes to their obsession with ages of women. 25 is when you’re completely developed, but to them, you’re worthless and washed up. They simply want an underage girl (or I guess sexbot/sex doll appearing young enough) to control than an actual relationship with another human being. *on a kinda-sorta relevant note: this happened too.
@ Haise, the husky puppy;
saw that… creeped me ALLTHE WAY out….
You know what the best brand name for penis soda would be?
Dr Pecker.
I’ve seen Trader Joe’s carry Hansen’s here in Cleveland.
@Dormousing_it, re: federal jobs
Given how the Fanta Menace has been cutting funding left and right…maybe after he or anyone worse is out. (Assuming nothing goes horribly wrong, this will be, at maximum, by me hitting 24–still a reasonable age, I feel, to start a career proper.) That said, that is a good idea in theory…and who knows. They’ve tried to make games for the government before–and I could sure try to show ’em up. Won’t be that hard to make a better game than they’ve tried to in the past, given enough buddies, time, and funding…though that might’a been the issue.
Redneck Revolt
Their tagline: Putting the ‘red back in redneck.
There’s this one soda called Leninade that I really liked back in college. It’s pretty much exactly what it sounds like: a red-colored carbonated lemonade that came in a glass bottle emblazoned with Soviet Russia jokes (“Get hammered and sickled!” “A taste worth standing in line for!” “Our 5-year plan: Drink a bottle a day for five years and become a Hero of Socialist Flavor”). I recently went back to the store that used to carry it, but they don’t seem to have it anymore.
I also miss lemon soda and melon soda from my Japan days. Melon soda is a sweet, green soda, often with a dash of vanilla cream flavor (called cream soda). Lemon soda is exactly what it sounds like: a sour, yellow, citrus-flavored soda. I’ve only ever found them in Asian specialty stores here in the states.
I’m kind of old fashioned in the soda department. I drink a good bit of diet Coke (can’t take the calories of other stuff and long ago habituated to the diet taste), but also A&W root beer (diet). I am of the opinion that Pepsi is a product of the anti-Christ, but that’s just me.
I also like grapefruit sodas, especially Ting, which is Jamaican. These days I am becoming hooked on Gold Peak Diet Tea, which I highly recommend. They also make Sweet Tea and Unsweetened Tea. Not soda but still good.
The local grocery chain, HEB, sells its own brand of Italian sodas with many, many different flavors. I am currently enjoying an Orange, Orange Blossom, and Rose flavor. They have Blood Orange and Pomegranate, and things like Lemon and Rosemary and various flavors that include peppers (intended to be mixed with vodka, I think). Probably the most unusual flavor is Prickly Pear, made from the tuna, that is the fruit, of the prickly pear, which is sweet, musty-flavored and fibrous. It makes a pretty good soda, though not for every day.
@Troubelle
Oh, yes, the Fanta Menace. He also said he would build up the Department of Defense, and there’s plenty of civilian support jobs within the DoD. He says a lot of things.?
CORRECTION: Actually, rather than opm.gov, usajobs.gov is the more direct website, if you’re searching for jobs.
Incidentally, there are large numbers of contractors who do work for the gov’t, esp. the DoD. Geez, some businesses wouldn’t even EXIST, were it not for the government.
Well, whatever you do, I wish you luck.
@kindasortaharmless
Leninade. I need that. 🙂
In the early nineties, about the time of Perestroika and the International Space Station, there was a drink briefly available called “Mir” written in Russian. It was a fizzy peppermint flavour. I kept a can as a souvenir as I was fascinated by Russia, still have it around somewhere.
Dormousing_it:
How would you deal with it, though?
If it’s a glass bottle: “hold still while I hit it with this hammer”?
It it’s plastic: “hold still while I soften it with this blowtorch”?
Or maybe there’s a suitable Dremel attachment?
The embarrassment would be pretty bad, but I’m more concerned about the tools.
@ moggie
Probably, there’s one for pretty much everything else. In fact, knowing Dremel’s range, there’s probably different attachments for freeing circumcised and uncircumcised.