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By David Futrelle
So the fellows over on the Men Going Their Own Way subreddit are discussing just how much they TOTALLY REFUSE to have sex with women older than 25 — not to worry, fellas, women over 25 don’t want to have sex with you either — and one fellow resorts to an interesting if perhaps imperfect metaphor in order to explain why he at least hypothetically prefers fresh young 18-year-olds to jaded 25-year-old “cock carousel” riders.
![Mikveh 4 points 21 hours ago My logic is such that I imagine a typical girl fucks 12 chads per year, 1 per month, not because she is a slut, just because she knows she has to put out for chad or he will lose interest. So the younger they are, I figure the less cock they've ridden....would you rather have a new pepsi bottle, or one that had taken 12 penises per year since the age of 18? I figure i'd rather drink a pepsi that had 12 penises in it, rather than at the age of 25 say 84 penises(12*7years) permalinkembedunsavereportgive goldreply [–]Onkel_Adolf 10 points 21 hours ago i'd rather drink a pepsi that had 12 penises in it permalinkembedsaveparentreportgive goldreply [–]ififcanIhaveacoatplz 4 points 20 hours ago It bears repeating](https://i0.wp.com/www.wehuntedthemammoth.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/07/penises-e1499389564757.png?ssl=1)
So many questions! Were these 12 penises just dipped in the Pepsi bottle or are they all still stuffed inside of it? How do you squeeze a normal-sized penis through the narrow bottleneck? Would the number of acceptable penises per bottle increase or decrease if the bottle contained Coke or RC Cola or Dr. Pepper instead of Pepsi?
The most important question: How do I get the image of a Pepsi bottle stuffed with penises out of my head?
On a slightly more serious note, I would like to point out that Mikveh’s notion of how many sex partners the typical young women has by the age of 25 is utterly and completely fantastical.
Here’s the actual breakdown of the number of sex partners 25 to 29 year-old American women typically have had, according to a large-scale and widely cited study called the General Social Survey.
As you can see, the number of women that age with 84 sexual partners is more or less zero; it’s literally off the chart. (Presumably sex workers are not included in the survey.) The average number of sexual partners American woman have had by the time they hit their late twenties? Four.
I generated the chart above using a little chart-generator on Slate designed to tell you if “Your Sexual History [Is] As Impressive As You Think.” Try it yourself!
@ guest
But he said “QED” so he must be a proper scientician! And who needs peer review when “It seems to me…”?
In the unrelated but happy event : I have been selected to betatest the new version of one my favorite game.
@Alan well that was interesting…not sure why it’s played as comedy, or as a period piece, since a) I experienced that very thing the other night (at a public venue; a hopefully productive email exchange was had the following day) and b) that is the exact expression one sees on men’s faces when women attempt to take the talking time that rightfully belongs to men.
The legal history and significance of ginger beer … who could resist! Yup, come for the mammoth-hunting, stay for the serendipity and unstalable, infinite variety of recondite knowledge. And the mammoth-hunting. 🙂
Another welcome home to Scildfreja!
Sodas… I don’t drink much soda, but I do like Vernor’s ginger ale, which I swore for years was a ginger ale/cream soda mix.
Reed’s is good, and there’s a company called Bruce Cost that makes ginger ale with actual ginger in it. VERY strong ginger flavor.
@ Scildfreja Unnyðnes;
MISSED YOU…missed your pony .gifs, too. Welcome back!!
Scildfreja Unnyðnes – great to see you and your bouncing dancing singing ponies and unicorns for a better world again.
Re: the coke carousel – I like the wonderfully named Pocari Sweat, as in “you don’t sweat much for a Pocari”, whatever that is.
As regards the scoring system: at 24 I was a nice round Roman Catholic zero – but who’s counting?
By 26, 50/50 men and women (ie, a grand total of 2) but I’m sure chummy here isn’t imagining women with women.
I think in my busiest years – when I was over 35, go figure – it was never more than 4 in a year, some with and some without penes.
But many of those would be repeats from previous years, so, oh dear, how to score?
Could it be the OP has not fully thought that one through?
A miggy?!?!? Not thinking their comments through??? In the immortal words of Spock, “I would accept that as an axiom”
@ guest
One thing I keep noticing with David’s posts is how many theories and ‘insights’ seriously put forward by the manosphere lot were previously the stuff of comedy sketches. For example I had to look up ‘negging’. The PUA community have a formula. It’s basically “Seeming compliment…(beat)…twist that imports negative spin”. That supposedly makes you irresistable to women. But that’s literally the shtick of those “Check please” sketches on Goodness Gracious Me. But at least there the guy is putting his foot in it by accident (and they’re funny).
But nearly everything MRAs come out with has an analogue in comedy, with the maker of the statement being the butt of the joke. There’s probably an article there.
@kupo – this probably doesn’t help, but it is very common for counseling to make things feel worse for a while. But it sounds like you have coping strategies.
@bluecat – of course they haven’t considered repeat partners and non-hetero relationships. Repeat partners are a myth in their world, and non-piv isn’t real sex, as I’m sure they’d explain if only they weren’t going their own way.
Oh dear, I hope Onkel_Adolf who’s replying to him there doesn’t catch on. I have a sneaking suspicion that he wouldn’t approve.
It looks like I’m going to have to renounce soda entirely, sadly. I’m having what seems to be a flare up of gout, and tasty drinks just aren’t worth debilitating pain. My favorite was probably Materva, a strange but very good yerba mate soda.
@Scildgfreja
It’s nice to have you back.
@Troubelle
I don’t drink soda too much anymore, but my favorite is probably ginger ale.
@Axecalibur
Fanta brand soda. I haven’t seen it in nearly 40 years, since I was a preteen living in western Pennsylvania. In fact, I wondered if it was still on the market. Maybe it’s a regional thing, now. Fanta was even in the vending machines, including the orange flavor, which I just don’t see anymore. BTW, a 12 oz. can of soda from a vending machine cost 25 cents. And, a huge scoop of excellent ice cream at the local ice cream parlor cost 15 cents. Of course, this was in the sticks.
@ derangeddan
Ouch. You have my sympathies.
http://i.huffpost.com/gen/1576768/thumbs/o-GOUT-570.jpg
If it makes you feel any better though, you’re in very cool company:
http://www.independent.co.uk/news/t-rexs-bite-made-worse-by-his-gout-1262772.html
@Dormousing_it
Fanta’s still a thing in the UK. Don’t know about other countries though
So…have to ask again – how many dicks do you want in your pepsi?
“Twelve dicks. I want twelve dicks in my pepsi.” (I’m wondering if any of them stop and actually consider this reply before they hit “post”)
Right then. That’s a lot of dicks man….Maybe…that’s what MGTOWs and their obsession with Chads and dicks in their pepsi and the cock carousel is actually about? Could they not just admit they like Chads? And cock carousels? And 12 dicks in their pepsi? Liking those things isn’t BAD miggies! People have been doing a lot of work to make the world a more accepting place and it’s ok to love the cock, the ladyruffles, both, or neither! You might have to quit going on ROK, The Daily White Dude With Complaints, and such – but really you won’t be losing much there.
– Coca Cola classic.
– Have none of them ever thought – hey, soda bottle = reaaally a bit ouch. But a canning jar? A whole lot easier to stick 12 dicks into one of those! Not necessarily one at a time or 12 at a time or anything…
OK, more minutia about soda…what is it with rural white people, and Mountain Dew? I try not to use a certain 7 letter word beginning with r and ending in k, but if you’re murican, you know what I mean.
My husband calls Mountain Dew “Appalachian Pisswater”, and empty Mountain Dew cans and bottles are strewn beside the roads everywhere here. Especially since, we have no municipal garbage pickup.
@Dormousing-it Back in the day among my crowd of well-educated California computer geeks/gamers Mountain Dew was the drink of choice because apparently it had the most caffeine. Though the guy I dated went one better, and filled his workspace with crates of Jolt Cola–‘all the sugar and twice the caffeine’.
I think it’s supposed to be high in caffeine? I hate that stuff because the carbonation goes quick the second you open the bottle/can/whatever.
When I was a kid there was a rumor that Mountain Dew kills sperm cells. I’m not sure where that came from or if it was a widespread rumor at all.
@Alan
That little gout demon is fantastic, thank you. Illustrates quite well how I’m feeling right now.
And now my cat has decided to lay on the affected foot. I’m not sure this is helping, but I don’t have the heart to kick her off.
Coca-Cola also has a rep as a spermicide, but it’s not that strong a rep:
https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/3679247
@Iseult
It doesn’t help when one was pushing his religious beliefs on me and another was really misogynistic. If I’m bad enough to go ask for help, I’m not in a state where I can assert myself or cope well with this stuff. I do better on my own.
@Alan You make a good point. It wasn’t MRAs etc. who treated me and other women badly at the event I was at the other night…but I guess 20-30 years ago we were still pretending that (middle class white) men treating (middle class white) women so blatantly disrespectfully was a quaint custom of the distant past, and thus a fit subject for a comedy sketch. Of COURSE we’d never treat women that way now, how amusing! It’s certainly paralleled my own understanding of sexism, from believing it was ‘almost gone’ in the ’90s to getting a glimpse of its full effects now, and it’s analogous to our (I.e. people not subject to particular forms of oppression) growing awareness of how bad it is and continues to be for people who, in various ways, are not like us.
I do hope that this is a young young man – the Pepsi metaphor is tortured and very very odd.
I was wondering if anyone else was going to mention Fentimens. I love their Rose Lemonade, and Dandelion and Burdock. I’m pretty certain a penis wouldn’t fit in their bottles though, the necks are extremely narrow and they are made of glass.