By David Futrelle
Over on The Daily Stormer, they’re always on the lookout for dire new threats to the white race, and regular DS contributor Michael Byron thinks he’s found one: Pierce Brosnan’s wife.
You see, the 53-year old wife of the 64-year old former James Bond star is, well, fat. And Byron seems to feel this is a terrible injustice not just to Mr. Brosnan but to the white race in general, despite the fact that 1) Mr. Brosnan and his wife seem perfectly happy together and 2) it’s likely that a lot of Daily Stormer readers are themselves fat, given that most white Americans (like most Americans in general) are technically overweight.
As Byron sees it, though, Keely Shaye Smith essentially pulled off a bait-and-switch.
This woman managed to snag a handsome, famous multi-millionaire actor when she was an unknown environmental correspondent for ABC back in the mid-1990s. …
After marrying Brosnan in 2001, there was one thing – one thing – she needed to do to remain attractive and presentable to her husband and the public: not stuff her face with Twinkies every day.
Could she do it?
No; apparently that requires too much self-discipline.
Byron, who seems perplexed that Brosnan hasn’t already divorced “Shamu,” thinks he should have put something in their pre-nup to protect himself against the terrible injustice of his wife gaining weight.
Ideally, Brosnan should have included a clause in his prenuptial agreement stating that if his wife became seven pounds heavier than her ideal weight, the marriage becomes null and void and the woman has no claim to his fortune or their children.
In fact, all White men who want to get married should do this.
It’s essentially a biological version of a stop-loss, and the prospect of getting divorced due to fatness will shame all married women into remaining human-sized.
Naturally, most of the Daily Stormer’s commenters side with Byron on the Fat Wife question, filling the comments with fat jokes and calls for WHITE SHARIA to declare fat white women illegal.
More than a few blamed Brosnan for not forcing his wife to stay slim.
“He shouldn’t have ever let her get that fat,” complained someone calling himself Hierophant14.
It is far easier for a woman to get 15 pounds off than 900 pounds. She benefits from being thin, make sure her stupid ass stays thin. “I love your hot THIN body, babe.” You always use this line while they are thin to keep them this way. It’s not rocket science.
Others questioned Brosnan’s masculinity.
“Her shoulders are wider than his, guess we know who the Alpha in the relationship is,” quipped USMCvet.
But a significant portion of the Daily Stormer commentariat felt that the fat shamers weren’t giving Smith enough credit for being, you know, white. And a producer of white babies.
“She’s white, had white kids,” noted someone called myself.
Yeah she’s a fat whale now, but if he’s fine with it, i don’t really care. He could be married to a n*gger, a jew, having no children and having a porn star life with drugs and hookers, but that doesn’t seem to be the case. Imo best case scenario is having a good looking white wife and children, second best is having a not so good looking wife and children. Life isn’t perfect so there’s that.
Zaros similarly gave Brosnan points for not divorcing his wife.
Good on him. A n*gger would walk out in his wife and kids. An honourable white man would never. We all go on about fatherless children and the problems this causes, at least he is doing his job as a father and husband. He obviously needs some help with the white sharia aspect of things and she needs to lay off the sausage rolls
FordHenry appealed to white pride:
LOVE brosnan
Man loves his chubby wife and is faithful.
Same deal man goes bald and she sticks by him
This is how WHITE PEOPLE ACT
Someone called Mencken (presumably not the long-dead American gadfly journalist) warned younger white supremacists that they might make a rude discovery once their own hypothetical wives get a little older.
You’ll cowards are in for a big surprise, no pun intended. Because after your [National Socialist] dream girl becomes your wife and churns out your four or five children, she’s going to find her shape redefined, and you’re going to find her pussy will be like the top of a rubber boot.
Reltihlieh was philosophical about it all.
I like the fact that they are happily married. Feminism and Jewish brainwashing have resulted in countless failed marriages and broken families. Some “couples” file for divorce within a month of two of the nuptials. …
That said, yes, women should look after their weight unless there is some medical condition or something which caused them to become so huge after a certain age.
As Reltihlieh sees it, married white dudes have a duty as well — to have sex as often as possible with their wives before they get old and (probably) fat.
And with that said, men who get married should endeavor to get the maximum sexual mileage out of their wives’ young bodies so that when she does in fact become fat (for whatever reason), he can reminisce and derive quiet satisfaction from having got the most sexual mileage out of her body when it was in its prime!
So on one side, we’ve got a group of mostly-older white supremacists who combine their virulent racism with a certain old-fashioned paternalism towards women of their own race; on the other, a younger group, who came of age on 4chan and in GamerGate rather than Stormfront, who seem to hate white women nearly as much as they hate those of other races and religions.
In whatever battle ultimately ensues between these two groups, I can only hope that everyone loses.
I’m not sure that awful bill will be seriously reconsidered until a woman is strangled to death during sex because the man “needed it to finish but didn’t mean to kill her.”
Even then it will probably be ruled as an accident.
I don’t want to live on this planet anymore.
Sorry I meant law not bill.
@ fran
I took the WAIS-III test and scored a spectacular 67 on base IQ. So I guess I’m letting the side down. Admittedly I did rush it (excuses, excuses) but can anybody tell me what is the actual difference between IQ tests and those puzzle books you buy on holiday?
(which I’m also useless at)
I just hope it was a mistake that somehow worked its ways into the bill, but I doubt it.
As a bit of an aside, Texas law up until 2008 considered the possession of 6 or more dildoes or artifical vaginas or certain sex toys, as a “Possession with intent to promote” offense. Texas AG argument was basically “States have the right to regulate morality”, but thankfully the rest of the court system said, “Not like that!”
Up until the court saying, “That’s unconstitutional”, every thing that looked like a sex toy in a novelties shop had anything related to insertion or orgasm crossed out, and a label applied saying something like “This item is not intended for sexual stimulation or insertion in any body cavity.” (Source: I read that label a few times, might be misremembering, but it was odd to see that on something labelled “Anal plug”).
OT followup:
I can now report that this recipe is indeed easy to make, and is quite tasty.
http://www.bbc.co.uk/food/recipes/simple_chicken_curry_95336
I have the gut issues too.
I try to eat healthy, earlier I spent over two hours cooking, which when nearly all done – set off my brand new smoke alarm and I panicked.
Yes, I am rather high strung. But, it actually isn’t all that new, got it a few months ago and no issues. I had basically forgotten about it. Decides to go off today.
And then I nearly fell off a barstool trying to shut the thing off.
Adrenaline rush = stomach clenches = I don’t want to eat now.
Sigh. Drinking beer instead.
This was over 2 hours ago and I still have this woozy feeling of unreality. Adrenaline rush. Not fun 🙁
I’m average sized but of course to some, they’ll find some (many) faults, and believe they need to lecture you about eating, let alone all else.
Well I do try to eat healthy, evidently I have worse anxiety issues than I thought I did. Also why I avoid men, I have actually experienced “these type of guys”, who try to control you in various ways. I see any type of relationship as nothing but stress also. Someone here mentioned finding love after loss? This is not possible for me, I am far too paranoid now. In fact I deliberately tried to “blank out” my mind in most ways, so as not to get upset.
Enough is still lurking beneath this surface, it seems.
Illness, health issues, can give you PTSD too. I have lingering stress (which I tried to forget and mentally block), as well as ongoing stress. And the fucky guts too.
Well, sigh. I guess I’ll try again on the healthy eating tomorrow…
Fuck him up, Ethel!
@Katie’s Elderly Minion
Squeee! 😀
*We Ate’nt Dead fistbump*
(I’m on there as Mish; holding a cat in my pic – say hi if you see me amongst the thousands!)
Regarding the screwed-up NH law, sloppy drafting is nothing new here. A few decades ago they passed a law that a person reporting a child sexual abuse case could not suffer legal consequences for doing so. They neglected to specify that this law would not apply to an abuser who reported himself.
@Z&T
Does this mean you’ve suffered a loss? I’m sorry to hear that. So did I. Hugs if you want them.
Sorry your dinner got spoiled by your gut. Hope it feels better soon.
@ kupo –
Thank you for your thoughts 🙂
Yes, plenty of all types of loss. I try not to dwell on it. I purposefully tried to blank it all out. And this did work, for the most part.
And now I’m basically numb.
I (straight me) gave up on men, but as another example – I did always want to have a dog, I could now get one, but I feel it would be too much work and something would go wrong so I don’t get one.
I kind of (had to) train myself to go ’emotionally blank’ – and it worked. (For the most part.)
And this all likely means that I have “issues”.
After becoming a Nazi whenever the hell he did it, there was one thing — one thing — he needed to do to remain attractive and presentable to the world: not open his piehole to spout hate and fascism.
Could he do it?
No; apparently that requires too much self-discipline.
@Z&T
There’s no wrong way to cope with loss. I remember my first Christmas as a widow my grandfather, a widower of about 5 years at the time, told me it never gets any easier. He was wrong. I’m coming up on 10 years and wouldn’t think on it much at all, were it not that I have bad dreams, to steal a line from Hamlet. I still occasionally wake up panicking but now it’s because in my dreams if he appears my mind will try to make sense of it by assuming he faked his death, and I start getting angry at him for manipulating me like that. When I’m awake I don’t miss him even when I think about him. It gets easier over time.
Yeah, no, that’s not creepy at ALL. And it won’t make her start thinking of dumping your superficial ass, either.
…says a white bozo who knows nothing about honor, and couldn’t be arsed to find it with both hands and a flashlight.
Pretty sure there’s not a self-respecting lawyer on the planet who’d notarize such a shitty piece of paper.
And what, pray tell, is “human-sized”? Because last time I looked, humans came in a huuuuuuuuge variety of colors, shapes and sizes.
No, this is how grown-ass adults of ALL colors act. Idiot.
Um, rubber boots come in a variety of shapes and sizes as well. I have trouble finding ones to fit my curvy calves. And since they’re slightly flexible but not stretchy, well, that kind of defeats the purpose of this pitiful vaginal metaphor.
I fail to see what either feminism or Judaism have to do with people marrying the wrong person at the wrong time for the wrong reasons…which is the real thing that causes failed marriages and “broken families”. (Note: Not all divorced families are “broken”. Many are, in fact, healthier when the unhappy, misbegotten marriage has ended.)
BUT WHUT ABOUT TEH MENZ????
Dude, she’s not a sports car. And what do you suppose she’s thinking about YOUR no-longer-young-and-hot bod now? Because I can guarantee you she is, and what’s going through her head would make you run to the nearest diet counselling centre before you could say “Weight Watchers”!
@StillFiqah
Ha, ha. He wore no spaghetti.
But he did get to hear why what he’d done was really not okay.
This guy was quite a manipulator, so no doubt my words went in one ear and out the other. And just today, when reflecting on your response, I realized that he was probably trying to gaslight me. He’d done it before.
Thankfully, I can report that not so long after this I dumped his sorry, sorry ass.
@sunnysombrera
Sunny! Hang in there. We’ll get this awful stuff straightened out.
The future is female.
It also belongs to our allies of any gender.
The future belongs to our children. We’ll give them the very best future we can: one with gender equality, giant robots and space. They, for their part, will do things that will astound us.
The future doesn’t belong to dickweeds like those dudes. I don’t want them touching anyone I share a species with. They can fuck off to share the muck with the crawly slimy things and corporate lobbyists where they belong.
@Z&T:
This almost made me cry, because I’ve been there and I really connect with that. Wishing you as many hugs as you need, but not more (you get your own space too.)
@Alan : the difference is, IQ tests are taken very seriously by very serious persons, unlike thoses puzzle book.
I had a +40 jump in IQ between the two time I took the test. That, coupled with the fact that scientists tend to believe it don’t measure intelligence at all, but rather the ability to do IQ tests efficiently, make me think you should not be too ashamed by your result.
(it’s not totally useless ; it can help detect if someone is good or bad at a specific kind of logic, memory, and culture, and may help diagnose some diseases. But it’s quite narrow, and correlation between IQ and, well, anything, is a crapshoot)
@Kat
I don’t live in NC or even the states but I feel terrible for my sisters across the pond, especially facing the next few years under the Republicans On Steroids Party.
Hold on indeed.
@ Mish,
I have just made a join request for ‘We Ate’nt Dead’. 😀
Unconsidered trifles and fizzy wine all round 😀
OP: Well, the Nazis are as vile as ever.
@kupo
Re: Dreams
Your comment spoke very personally to me. I thought there was something wrong with me. I don’t dream a lot about my late husband anymore, but when I do, it’s a “he faked his death for funsies and now I’m just screaming at him for hurting me and his mother.” It fucks up the next few days for me. I wonder if this is a common theme?
You’re right, it does get easier. I didn’t think it could be possible at the time.
@cornychips
There’s nothing wrong with you. I see it as like how sometimes in dreams when you realize something incongruous just happened and the dream compensates for it. Like I’ll have the Looney Tunes style realization that I’ve stepped off a ledge and only after I’ve realized it will I feel the sensation of falling. I think the mind just tries to make things make sense.
Z&T, kupo & cornychips – I had a rather contentious relationship with my mother and bounced back from her death pretty quickly. Oddly, I spent almost ten years having frequent dreams about her where we got along really well. Sometimes dreams are bizarro world.
Thanks for the thoughts, all 🙂
I’m slogging along, quite burnt out on everything, but meh not too bad either.
It’s a workable headspace for now. And who knows what the future may bring?
And, when imagining the future – I’m seeing different work for me, what first comes to mind is new work, not men.
I see that as a positive also, and try to focus on that.
@Z&T
All best wishes for the future!
******
Interesting comments about dreams!
I’ve noticed that when my life is going very badly, I might have nice dreams. They sort of balance things out.
And sometimes when things are going well, I’ll have a bad dream. Another balancing act.
I don’t have nearly as many bad dreams now as I did when I was a kid or a young adult. I think it’s because I’ve been honest about my suffering and have explored many ways of getting help.