By David Futrelle
Over on The Daily Stormer, they’re always on the lookout for dire new threats to the white race, and regular DS contributor Michael Byron thinks he’s found one: Pierce Brosnan’s wife.
You see, the 53-year old wife of the 64-year old former James Bond star is, well, fat. And Byron seems to feel this is a terrible injustice not just to Mr. Brosnan but to the white race in general, despite the fact that 1) Mr. Brosnan and his wife seem perfectly happy together and 2) it’s likely that a lot of Daily Stormer readers are themselves fat, given that most white Americans (like most Americans in general) are technically overweight.
As Byron sees it, though, Keely Shaye Smith essentially pulled off a bait-and-switch.
This woman managed to snag a handsome, famous multi-millionaire actor when she was an unknown environmental correspondent for ABC back in the mid-1990s. …
After marrying Brosnan in 2001, there was one thing – one thing – she needed to do to remain attractive and presentable to her husband and the public: not stuff her face with Twinkies every day.
Could she do it?
No; apparently that requires too much self-discipline.
Byron, who seems perplexed that Brosnan hasn’t already divorced “Shamu,” thinks he should have put something in their pre-nup to protect himself against the terrible injustice of his wife gaining weight.
Ideally, Brosnan should have included a clause in his prenuptial agreement stating that if his wife became seven pounds heavier than her ideal weight, the marriage becomes null and void and the woman has no claim to his fortune or their children.
In fact, all White men who want to get married should do this.
It’s essentially a biological version of a stop-loss, and the prospect of getting divorced due to fatness will shame all married women into remaining human-sized.
Naturally, most of the Daily Stormer’s commenters side with Byron on the Fat Wife question, filling the comments with fat jokes and calls for WHITE SHARIA to declare fat white women illegal.
More than a few blamed Brosnan for not forcing his wife to stay slim.
“He shouldn’t have ever let her get that fat,” complained someone calling himself Hierophant14.
It is far easier for a woman to get 15 pounds off than 900 pounds. She benefits from being thin, make sure her stupid ass stays thin. “I love your hot THIN body, babe.” You always use this line while they are thin to keep them this way. It’s not rocket science.
Others questioned Brosnan’s masculinity.
“Her shoulders are wider than his, guess we know who the Alpha in the relationship is,” quipped USMCvet.
But a significant portion of the Daily Stormer commentariat felt that the fat shamers weren’t giving Smith enough credit for being, you know, white. And a producer of white babies.
“She’s white, had white kids,” noted someone called myself.
Yeah she’s a fat whale now, but if he’s fine with it, i don’t really care. He could be married to a n*gger, a jew, having no children and having a porn star life with drugs and hookers, but that doesn’t seem to be the case. Imo best case scenario is having a good looking white wife and children, second best is having a not so good looking wife and children. Life isn’t perfect so there’s that.
Zaros similarly gave Brosnan points for not divorcing his wife.
Good on him. A n*gger would walk out in his wife and kids. An honourable white man would never. We all go on about fatherless children and the problems this causes, at least he is doing his job as a father and husband. He obviously needs some help with the white sharia aspect of things and she needs to lay off the sausage rolls
FordHenry appealed to white pride:
LOVE brosnan
Man loves his chubby wife and is faithful.
Same deal man goes bald and she sticks by him
This is how WHITE PEOPLE ACT
Someone called Mencken (presumably not the long-dead American gadfly journalist) warned younger white supremacists that they might make a rude discovery once their own hypothetical wives get a little older.
You’ll cowards are in for a big surprise, no pun intended. Because after your [National Socialist] dream girl becomes your wife and churns out your four or five children, she’s going to find her shape redefined, and you’re going to find her pussy will be like the top of a rubber boot.
Reltihlieh was philosophical about it all.
I like the fact that they are happily married. Feminism and Jewish brainwashing have resulted in countless failed marriages and broken families. Some “couples” file for divorce within a month of two of the nuptials. …
That said, yes, women should look after their weight unless there is some medical condition or something which caused them to become so huge after a certain age.
As Reltihlieh sees it, married white dudes have a duty as well — to have sex as often as possible with their wives before they get old and (probably) fat.
And with that said, men who get married should endeavor to get the maximum sexual mileage out of their wives’ young bodies so that when she does in fact become fat (for whatever reason), he can reminisce and derive quiet satisfaction from having got the most sexual mileage out of her body when it was in its prime!
So on one side, we’ve got a group of mostly-older white supremacists who combine their virulent racism with a certain old-fashioned paternalism towards women of their own race; on the other, a younger group, who came of age on 4chan and in GamerGate rather than Stormfront, who seem to hate white women nearly as much as they hate those of other races and religions.
In whatever battle ultimately ensues between these two groups, I can only hope that everyone loses.
Lmfao, these guys are such assholes.
Love the way they pontificate about things they’ll likely never experience.
These guys think they’re civilization’s last hope? Good thing they’re wrong and there isn’t any actual responsibility on their shoulders. Between their obsession with irrelevant trivialities, phenomenal selfishness, and constant squabbling and infighting, they couldn’t save a duck from an uncomfortably choppy puddle, let alone Western civilization.
What a mess of awful. I hope none of these men are in a position of power over women ever.
That’s just over three kilograms. That’s the amount of wiggle room they want to grant women – three kilograms. Never mind that some medications (including fertility treatments for those actively looking to start a family) cause weight gain, or that people can gain that much through simple holiday indulgence.
These people can’t even manage “well if they make each other happy, that’s what counts” or “well, that’s what happens when you’ve given birth to kids” without being viciously racist and antisemitic.
As usual, the Manospherians are too obsessed with themselves to consider anyone else’s feelings. Let’s flip the script. What if a man and a woman marry–and then the man gets fat? Is he obligated to “remain attractive and presentable to his wife and the public”? Should she walk out on him if he becomes “seven pounds heavier than his ideal weight”, even if they’re happy together? At least FordHenry almost raises this question. You were close to empathy, Ford… so very close…
I think this is far more likely to result in fewer marriages for hateful Nazis, which is definitely a win so definitely push for that, dudes. In fact, be super-up front about it, and broach the topic on the first date, so that everyone saves time.
In USAian society
It’s hard to dodge the calorie
So say people of every gender
Whether or not they’re on a bender
I can attest, it’s hard to nope
Out of a choice of Sprite or Coke
It inundates the world we’re in
Male, female, or otherwise, we’re rarely thin
That’s kinda-sorta a simple fact
But they can’t reject even with tact
Even when they’re certainly no ideal
I’ve got no idea–what’s their deal?
I wonder if the “7 pounds” rule applies just for fat. A woman who starts working out might add weight via muscle mass. Then again these guys probably don’t want women who have any sort of muscle tone either. They want a supermodel with breasts the size of her head.
I wonder if any of these clowns know that Brosnan’s first wife, the late Cassandra Harris, was 5 years older than he was. Even 5 years difference would probably horrify them. She died of ovarian cancer in 1991, and given the obsession some of them have with reproduction they probably would have told him he should have dumped her after her diagnosis.
Give me one good reason why I shouldn’t stuff twinkies into my face every day. Well, aside from my inability to properly digest them.
Seriously, if I eat junk food, what’s it to you? If I’m fat, how does that affect you in any way? If I’m unhealthy, why is it your concern?
I’m so fucking sick of all of this bullshit. I’m unhealthy, yes. That’s just bad luck in a combination of genetic and environmental factors. It’s not something I choose, nor would I wish it on anyone. I’m tired of people deciding it means I’m lazy and disgusting.
I also want to briefly mention that there is good evidence that someone’s ability to gain/lose weight is strongly influenced by the balance of bacterial species in that person’s gut. Some balances are ultra-efficient at digesting your food for you and you can gain weight off of almost nothing. No amount of willpower will keep a person in that situation thin.
It’s well known that antibiotics make animals gain weight, probably by permanently altering the balance of gut flora, and I’m not sure what we expected would happen when we fed antibiotics to humans.
Tell that to the mostly white MRAs who obsess over their “right” to a paper abortion.
Not that women should have to be good looking to be treated like human beings but not thin =/= not good looking
http://www1.pictures.zimbio.com/gi/Keely+Shaye+Smith+lNCuFAr4FESm.jpg
I think she’s pretty anyway!
When I was looking up pictures, a lot of them were similar to this, with Brosnan looking at her adoringly. These asshats just hate being proven wrong. They want to convince women that if we aren’t a teenager with a BMI of 18 we’re worthless and no one will ever love us. They want us to hate ourselves so that it will be easier for them to abuse us. Images like this, of a handsome movie star in love with his wife even though she’s “post wall” and not super skinny, expose them as liars.
Bonus picture of Patrick Wilson and his (the horror!) size 10 wife
http://pinthisstar.com/images/patrick-wilson-wife-17.jpg
Assholes tantrum about their marriage too. She got harassed on twitter for being too fat to be married to a cute movie star.
Oh, I know! Not dye her hair! Literally live in heels! Keep her bedroom floor sock free! Don’t age! Don’t talk! Don’t be with a man that isn’t THEM! One of those, surely…
If your wife is parading around for the explicit goal of presenting her attractiveness for the public, is that cuckoldry or nah?
1stly, gross. 2ndly, as if these people think her ideal matters
So, I’m not the only one who thinks that sounds creepy af too, right? Nothing wrong with piling on the adjectives to describe what you like about your partner’s body. I’ve been known to push the boundaries of runon sentences. Maybe it’s the weirdness of the word “thin”, maybe it’s cos I’m reading it with the prescribed emphasis. Sounds icky even beyond the body policing
Once again, it doesn’t matter if she’s fine with it
Exhibit A: shit ton of (mostly Republican) politicians
I’m almost tempted to grade on a curve
Wooow
Sex is, has, and will never be about the actual sex to these types. It’s just tallying points to impress each other. It’s the business card scene from American Psycho. All terribly boring from the outside, but, to them, it’s all important
So, not only are they racist, fat-shaming, women-hating twits they are also a gossiping gaggle of ganders. I guess my lady brain does not see how men gossiping is steps to save civilization and women gossiping is a world-ruining example of our inferiority.
Ugh I hate gossip, even more when it’s white male racists gossiping over the affairs of another persons’ love lives.
@Axecalibur: Middle Name Danger
At least with American Psycho it’s funny, here it’s just banal.
@Myriad
That’s some lovely alliteration.
@ ooglyboggles
Unfortunately that’s so often how it starts.
https://www.amazon.co.uk/Eichmann-Jerusalem-Report-Banality-Evil/dp/1452651655
That’s one of my favorite movie scenes of all time.
@Alan Robertshaw
Yes you are right, once they have made their bile the new normal that’s when they get their way. Thank you for that link, I’ve been looking for a recording of that sort.
@weirwoodtreehugger: chief manatee
re: American Psycho
I have neither seen the movie nor read the book, but perhaps I should…I actually parodied one of the later passages (I’ve been spoilt!) for another character entirely if y’all want to read.
@PoM
I had to take antibiotics as a really little kid, and it fucked my digestive system RIGHT up…maybe THAT’S part of why my mom told me to lose weight less than an hour ago (despite her being far plumper than I…).
Seconding what POM noted about bacteria; there’s a fascinating book called I Contain Multitudes (yes, a Whitman reference), all about the microbes that inhabit our bodies – including the gut ones. These can not only influence things like weight, digestion, etc. but also mood and mental health.
It’s just typical of these supposedly rational dudes that they think weight is solely a matter of what you eat and whether you exercise. Idjits.
As for the rest of their nasty little gossip-fap: idjits.
Re: gut flora
Huh. I had heard there were studies into possible links between gut flora and autism, but weight now, too? My gut is completely messed up. When I focus my attention on it, it’s pretty much always a little achy. It’s just background noise anymore. When I was little, I thought it was normal. I’ve started taking probiotics in the hope they’ll help some. Doctors don’t help at all. 🙁 So far I’m not noticing much in the way of results, other than some gurgles shortly after taking them. Hopefully I’ll find some relief someday.
@Troubelle
Never read, did watch, well worth 🙂
Yep!
As a fat, female presenting person, I’m really fucking tired of people assuming what I eat, and also how much I exercise, just from my body type. Like goddamn let a fat bitch live.
Nothing I eat has any impact on your life whatso-fucking-ever, Random Stranger. Shut the fuck up about my fat. You’re not a dietitian or a nutritionist, and even if you fucking were, you have no right to be commenting on a complete stranger’s body in such an irresponsible manner without having intimate knowledge of their diet and exercise routine and without respecting their privacy. Commenting on a stranger’s body in public is not appropriate.
Sure, I don’t eat as healthy as I should (I don’t have the fucking time to cook or the money for the best ingredients, to be honest), but to assume that I must just shove Twinkies in my face 24/7 is just a gross overestimate. The idea that since I’m FAT, I must only be eating junk food is fucking nonsense and I’m sick of hearing it.
I still eat lots of vegetables, moreso now than ever before (thanks kimchi and kimchi brine salad dressing!), and I try to get a balanced diet with various food groups. Hell, I even am trying to eat more rice instead of other grains, even though I’m hella picky about it and only really like it Chinese Takeout Fried Rice style, and occasionally plain with a little salt.
Of course, if I’m eating anything but a single leaf of lettuce in front of other people, I still get that nagging feeling that they’re staring and judging.
I also walk roughly five miles a week just getting home from work*, and that’s with two bad legs. Thanks public bus system for not running the ONE BUS that goes by my house past 6PM!
*At work I have to climb a flight of stairs at least eight times a day, four up and four down (Put my stuff upstairs, come down, sweep upstairs dining, come down [and sweep the stairs on the way down], mop upstairs dining, come down, go upstairs to get my stuff, come down and leave for the day), and that’s only if I also don’t need to deliver pizzas upstairs and clean tables/refill shakers/change the cable for a customer/etc.
I also am running all around a restaurant and lifting heavy stuff pretty much all day, five days a week, roughly 7.5 hours a day. Hell, the other day I had to move all the booths to sweep/mop under them.
So yeah, I’m pretty active, even with all my body pains. I don’t eat great, but I get lots of exercise.
@Kupo
Why thank you.
@Axe
Okay, here goes… (You want context, just ask.)