By David Futrelle
Pickup artist types tend to look on masturbation as a stumbling block in the way of true Red Pill greatness. If you’re not sexually frustrated pretty much all the time, you see, you’ll never have the “discipline” necessary to learn and try to use all the creepy sex-getting tactics taught in places like the Red Pill subreddit.
Naturally, Red Pillers get pretty inventive in coming up with reasons why masturbation is bad. But few have been quite so inventive as a devoted Red Pill Reddit no-Fapper called, ironically, faplordxd.
In a comment on the Red Pill subreddit today, he explains that
when you Fap to porn you’re essentially just cucking yourself because you’re jerking off to another guy fucking “your girl” so it makes you beta
Ingenious!
Happily. though I’m not sure faplordxd fully recognizes it, this logic can be extended to pretty much every situation in which you’re watching or reading about or hearing about someone doing something that you’re not doing.
If you’re watching the Superbowl, you’re Superbowl-Cucking yourself because YOU’RE NOT PLAYING IN THE SUPERBOWL.
When you’re reading about whoever invented the Post-it inventing the Post-it, you’re Post-it-Cucking yourself because YOU COULD BE INVENTING THE POST-IT!
When you notice your cat licking its own butt you are Cat-Butt-Cucking yourself because YOU COULD BE LICKING YOUR CAT’S BUTT!
Ok, that last example wasn’t such a good one.
But the point is simple: unless you want to be a cuck, you should either do EVERYTHING ALL OF THE TIME or maybe just staple your eyes and ears and mouth shut. That’s the ALPHA way.
This thread has me feeling split into two Mishes! One Mish is giggling like an idiot, especially at OoglyBoggles’ rendering
But then all this stuff about the healthcare bill, and Cosby … JFC. Healthcare here could sure use some improvement, but it’s freakin’ light years ahead by comparison 🙁
@PeeVee
…If that’s the case, then I’ve been cucking myself since I was ten.
I was always a weird kid…
@kupo: Stealing. That.
Redpillers, your instructions are more baroque than any ten Bach fugues.
More hollow than the theology of any cult.
More idiotic than the Three Stooges.
Pugs really do always look like they got caught watching porn.
@Katz: Sometimes they look as though they watched really bad porn like “Two Girls One Cup” with that “Do not want!” look.
http://bestanimations.com/Animals/Mammals/Dogs/pugs/funny-cute-animated-pug-gif-20.gif
I think I fem – cucked myself today by doing “domestic chores” which included storing things away – probably WRONG!
Because many of my storage containers are recycled things such as plastic cole slaw containers from the store.
I heard someone (a Mexican) refer to this once as “Mexican Tupperware”.
Obviously others do this too. And the point is about domesticated females not using the Proper and Approved! Tupperware!
Ergo, I have somehow cucked myself.
And also turned myself into a Mexican.
Oops!
And here I was just trying to make use of nice containers, perfectly usable things.
It’s my bad. I guess I can see why a woman would be burnt at the stake for such things.
Why, oh WHY, is it always the biggest effin’ wankers in the Universe who come out with this inane shit? I bet this sploodge-stain even typed that one-handedly.
Probably had his blast of “insight” about the same time as he came, too.
Coming out of lurk-mode! Just wanted to say… this whole thing is really funny because I have an extension in Chrome that replaces the word “scary ghost” with “scary ghost”, the word “spooking” with “spooking”, etc…
So… basically… here’s a snippet of what the OP looks like for me…
I love this thing so much.
Anyways… back to lurking, now!
Well the real reason is that if one is fapping to porn, it gets in the way of mentally fapping to red pill revenge porn all day. They don’t want the competition. Must keep sheep focused on woman hating. Any distractions are a threat to the mission.
Warning: er… talking about masturbation, so
They can even turn masturbation into a method of reinforcing their own belief system. Then again…
Ohh, ohh, rub rub rub, oooh, I think I’m about to cuck!
@Nathan, I know not which words you were talking about, the extension changed them all before you hit “Submit comment”.
And the link says the extension name is “scary-ghost-to-scary-ghost”… Though the author was smart enough to hot link that one to the correct extension.
Now I wonder: Who gets cucked when you watch Cyndi Lauper visually punning about being a woman who “bops”?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KFq4E9XTueY
(…asking for a friend…)
@Violet Beauregard
Steal away!
@ Mish
I know, right?! I want to respond to Oogly, but my brain’s convulsing with rage, right now.
@ Oogly
Apologies, I couldn’t respond to yours with a full other version of UBW (“Unaware of cucks, nor aware of cuckspouters”). I’m just happy it was understood.
@ Ami
I do definitely recommend it. Though I have absolutely no idea what is being referred to from “car brand” onward.
Kupo,
LOVE IT!
Re: pugs,
I had an adorable chunky pug named Marilyn who was just the most patient, good natured, best pug ever. She passed a year ago about this time. I miss her puggy little face so, so much. Sre always looked at me like, “what are you doing???
Ah, Marilyn. ?
I just can’t even about those SOBs in Congress right now. All I might do is degenerate into impotent, sobbing, frothing rage.
So glad Harris is one of my Senators. So infuriated that I can’t do a damn thing about that SOB McConnell fucking us all over without lube, because his damned consitutuency has bought his lines wholesale, and won’t realize until too late what he’s sold them.
I’mma look at Foster Dad John’s new kitties now. >_<
@Mish of the Catlady Ascendancy
Glad to give you a laugh.
@Ray of Rays
I completely understand, this day’s news wins the “being the most unnecessarily malicious and evil person you can possibly be” award thus far. It’s a little hard for me to ignore the fact that these SOBs want to kill my grandmother and aunt so badly. Or how they believe themselves good because the JESUS IN THEIR HEAD SAYS KILL EVERYONE. Just the thought my grandmother’s pills, aunt’s diabetes kit and my prescription medication being taken away by greedy and bloodthirsty products of this country’s broken system makes me want to break alot of things.
They even kept all this behind closed doors and turned away reporters because they KNEW that people would hate this this and them in turn.
@Ray: I’ve never played Fate/Stay Night and I STILL burst out laughing at that.
When I was 15 or 16, I desperately wanted to ‘get off’ with a girl (‘get off with’ meant a lot of things in mid 90s England, basically kissing plus). My main concern, though, wasn’t actually doing that (which was kind of terrifying), but the validation I would get from other guys as ‘someone who has got off with a girl’. You see that mentality time and time again with Redpillers – the point of sex is not enjoyment, it’s the fact you had it. Or, in the case of the ‘cuck’ obsession, it’s not so much that you’re not getting any, it’s that other guys (even porn actors) are. RAGE!!!
…And these responses are deeply sad, but they’re human, and I imagine most guys think like this at some time. But what’s wrong with the Manosphere is that it takes these deeply unhappiness-generating ways of looking at the world, and tries to sell it as somehow beneficial or even as a ‘philosophy’.
I dont like watching porn, but sometimes i write some pornography story before ? so maybe i super-cuck?
Why are the hell are they so obsessed with how I conduct my business in my spare time? Red Pillers are weird, I thought they were all about “Stay outta mah business!” and it turns out they want to rule over what I do!
Also in Fate Stay Night, the deep voiced priest is the coolest dude 🙂
Re: The healthcare thing and the Bill Cosby getting to walk–I am aware and extremely angry about both but I’m coping by using humor
If you masturbate to cuckold porn, you become a double cuck, which is so cuck you go off the top of cuck and loop right round to being an Alpha. It’s basic cuck science, people.