By David Futrelle
Sometimes the Men Going Their Own Way subreddit seems like a neverending contest to see who can describe (cis) female bodies in the creepiest way.
I don’t know when if ever the MGTOWs will get around to tallying up the results of this context, but I do know this guy deserves some kind of award for this contribution. I’ll start the ball rolling by naming him today’s MGTOW of the Day.
Yes, the lady grapes are definitely very sour.
These are the same guys who got all butthurt that Brad Pitt hit the wall and is now past his Best Before date.
It is to titter.
They’re Made out of Meat
It makes me think of Death Becomes Her. Like MGTOW think we’re all dried up old corpses underneath.
Peevee,
It’s the slime river from Ghostbusters 2. Anytime MGTOW call vaginas slime tunnels, I always think of it.
@tim gueguen, Fran – Must be the exclamation mark 😀
I think there was a plot point like this in the Catwoman film – the villain created makeup that kills people unless they use it constantly.
And that in turn tangentially reminds me of a poem I just read, Christina Rossetti’s Goblin Market. I know I’m late to the party – recently turned 29, and most EngLit peeps read this in college – but just look at it and tell me it’s NOT about sex or drugs.
@epitome:
LOL. I think these guys really believe that lipstick is loaded with preservatives that unnaturally extend our “fertile” years. Or that BB cream (hi Mish, I use that too, and love it) is some kind of embalming fluid. Or…something equally ridiculous and grotesque. Wait’ll they find out that my preferred brand of lipstick is all food-grade ingredients, and my preferred BB creams are loaded with wholesome herbal extracts, essential oils, and mineral oxides that provide the real anti-aging magick: an SPF of 30 to 50, essential for any skin type but especially good for us pale faces who burn easily.
Why, at this rate, I’ll live to be 100! Or maybe even 120-something, like Jeanne Calment…muahahahahah!
The slime tunnel is my favorite ride at the carnival.
Stitched together with makeup? I think someone misunderstood how eyebrow threading works.
Before long they’ll all just be singing “No dick, no dick, na na na na na na!” like a bunch of seven-year-old boys.
As a poorly proportioned fatbag myself, I feel somewhat excluded from this angry MGTOW’s tirade.
@Imaginary Petal:
Saaaaame.
Wasn’t that kind of the plot of the Halle Berry Catwoman movie?
“Evil woman invents makeup that makes you young forever and makes you virtually indestructible (after the initial sickness and near death), but if you don’t keep using it after that your face rots”
I liked that movie, ngl.Some MRAs think that face cream is made out of foreskins. That might explain their anger at it.
@IP & PI:
Fatbag solidarity!
(Also I’ve wanted an excuse to @ both of you at the same time for a while.)
Am I the only one who interpreted the expiration date as the sexual market expiration date? Like how the grocery store has to toss eggs that are past the sell by date, the sexual marketplace closes its doors to women over 29.
And yet I bet they think this woman is horrific too:
@Nequam
They’re missing out. Muscular ladies are really awesome.
My favorite fictional muscular woman character right now is Thrym. She’s just a side character, but I would read an entire manga series about her.
The bit about beauty products delaying the expiration date made me think I may be on the path to immortality! I regularly use facial masks, moisturizers and eye cream after a shower, and I just got a haircut, painted my toenails for the first time in ages, and have lately been changing my diet and activity level to get in better shape (cardio workout every 1-2 days, replace coffee and cream with green tea, etc.)
That was before I read the comments mentioning the killing makeup in the Catwoman movie, which I haven’t seen…Darn, so there’s a catch.
Wow! Just so much of the not really going his own way…
@nequam I do love a muscular woman (and man) – but for me personally I do not like the way that male or female body builders look. I guess I prefer purposeful muscles. I do lift, and I do like the way it changes my body, but it’s more about being strong than being shred especially since a lot of my nice muscles are covered in fat.
No list of buff women would be complete without some Brienne gifs!
http://68.media.tumblr.com/38ede12e91ebc83ce0189f4bcf1095a8/tumblr_o7v5vsLDOF1rey868o1_500.gif
http://i.imgur.com/nDO6IUZ.gif
I’m holding out for a woman with perfect 1:4:9 proportions.
I am average sized. I would like to be like these muscular ladies pictured here, and am working on it.
But of course Average = Fat
And muscular = Mannish
So be it then. Hey, I like to eat and I like to drink beer and some (sugar) pops (soda) here and there. Not big on sweets or carbs, I probably trained myself out of that. Been keeping healthy for a few decades now. Healthy eating, not crash diets. I do cook, and exercise enough as well. I try to walk everywhere I can too.
Some junk food and slacking here and there, everything in moderation as they say.
I take a (US) size 10. To these guys? That = GIGANTIC LARDASS!!!
I’m apx. 6′ tall as well so most people think (correctly) that I can probably kick their ass.
Built like a gear train.
@katz
oh yeah baby look at dem nuts and bolts
I’m pretty sure there’s an actual bag of fat in my freezer. Do you think the MGTOWs can tell me how to proportion it?
Also: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2015/04/10/baby-foreskin-facial_n_7040808.html
@Hesster: Re: KotOR
Ah, now that brings back memories. HK-47 is easily one of the funniest characters to come out of Star Wars media.
Just… watch the spoilers, please? If someone hasn’t played the game, you’ve essentially given away the biggest plot twist in the character labels.