By David Futrelle
It is with heavy heart I must report that they have figured it out:
*speaks into collar* they're onto the cat thing. pic.twitter.com/3AW1WPqk0O
— Stephen Mangan (@StephenMangan) June 18, 2017
It was a plan so beautiful in its simplicity:
- Flood the internet with pics of adorable kitties and thereby convince white women to adopt them as pets
- Suck the maternal instinct from white women thus genociding the white race
- ???
- Profit!
But alas, some of the world’s cleverer racists suspected that something was up from the start. They noticed that, as one writer for the “scientific racist” website Counter-Currents has pointed out, “feminist cat ladies … are surely one of the most anti-natal groups in America today,” fervent in their “opposition to motherhood.”
The Daily Stormer, meanwhile, has declared that
Feminism has been the most powerful tool in the white genocide agenda, to divert women from starting strong and healthy white families and people laugh at this but look around- we live in a world where a woman owning twenty cats is considered normal.
Meanwhile, on a site called The Burning Platform, an alt-right ideologue called Yojimbo has argued that feminism causes
Women [to] form bonds with pets that normally would be formed with men or their children, hence the meme of the cat lady.
And now tec63298, posting on Instagram, has clarified the role of the evil globalists in the cat-lady white genocide plot.
But I am happy to report that the goyim have not yet figured out who really is to blame for it all. As those of us in the inner circle have known from the start, it’s not the globalists using cats for their own nefarious purposes, but cats using globalists for their even more nefarious, if also adorable, purposes.
Alas, there’s one anon on 4chan’s /pol/ board who’s almost got it figured out:
Quick! Deploy the distraction gifs!
These little angels couldn’t be plotting anything evil, right?
… these asshats are aware that many a Jewish woman appears quite white, right? I wonder what they make of the first lady-daughter.
Fran said
I kinda feel like that now and I’m Mrs. Whitey Mc Whiteface. I live in a very WASPy and conservative area right now and I dislike it. It’s boring among other things.
I grew up in a neighborhood that was mainly Jewish and Hispanic. I knew what WASP meant before I knew what gay meant.
@Aulma Frendzar Dèdd
Gendered slurs are not okay. I’m surprised I’m the first person to say this.
I’d have to go through all the dogs, rabbits, guinea pigs, hamsters, gerbils, mice, rats, birds, lizards, snakes, tarantulas, insects, slugs, and slime molds before these guys would seem like an acceptable option.
A young man who was good friends with my older son growing up recently converted to LDS (Mormons). By some remarkable coincidence, he has also realized that he opposes both abortion and pornography. I’ve managed to refrain from being uncivil with him on Facebook about it. He’s currently experiencing being a young Black man living in Utah, so he is probably getting lots of important life lessons.
Last Christmas, our son asked if we could have Christmas dinner at a Chinese restaurant. I pointed out that that was a custom associated with American Jews; he explained that he’d heard of it from his friend whose bar Mitzvah we’d attended and wanted to experience it for himself. I do like that he has absolutely no negative attitudes about Jews or Judaism.
The economic impact of child rearing is one of those disagreeable facts that most people know but refrain from talking about. It contradicts the cultural myth that children, home and family are at the heart of society. Occasionally I will hear about a program to assist low income families and realize just how impoverished a family would have to be to qualify, and how badly off you could be and *not* qualify.
@Axe
“Or, in the case of New England, they’ve been trained by more decent white people than them not to vote like racists (Boston has the most wonky collectively progressive to individually regressive ratio I’ve ever heard of)”
Lol, [citation needed]. White people don’t share a hive mind, and there’s actually kinda some class brawling threatening between whites right now.
I’ll give you that Boston is kinda racist shit; once upon a time I went to college in Greater Boston. But it’s blue leanings aren’t because all the white people hold each other to such high standards. If anything, being an 4chan-esque, entitled shithead gives you some Masshole cred.
Think Casey Affleck’s Dunkin Donuts commercial. Or just think of Casey Affleck.
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=FSvNhxKJJyU
I have two of this before and both times all other fish attack and kill them. My fish tank is not very successful ((((
Yeah, it’s not that wages haven’t kept pace with worker productivity to the point where couples and single parents in particular can’t afford their own homes, let alone afford to raise a child or children. No, it’s clearly the Rothschilds convincing womz that cats are the perfect substitute for little humans.
*sigh* It’s times like this I gotta remember that plenty of people are just stupid enough to believe this.
@mrex
It was actually in the news recently that the Boston Red Sox have the most racist fans in Major League Baseball after the Adam Jones incident: https://www.nytimes.com/2017/05/05/opinion/red-sox-racism-and-adam-jones.html
I didn’t know they were the very last team to integrate too, so it seems Boston at least has that rep. Say what you well about Toronto Blue Jays fans, but at least we just hurl beer cans at Baltimore baseball players. 😛
Come to sunny northern california! Sure there’s racism, after all, Berkeley is the white liberal/feminist mecca, but at least our neighborhoods are fairly integrated and we all talk to strangers! (How do you tell a cali transplant in nyc? They’ll be the ones talking to the homeless dude on the subway)
[rambly bit]
The east bay in cali is pretty cool for the most part, I just live in the somewhat shameful part that’s known as one of the last neighborhoods to integrate, but hey we got a new black family last week and I couldn’t be happier, we’ve already exchanged nods, which either means, “In this valley of whiteness I acknowledge your blackness” or “White people be crazy, yeah?”
[/happy sleep deprived rambly bit]
@ ChimericMInd:
I’d still have roaches, tapeworms, and facehuggers to go through before… Wait, I don’t see any getting to the point where these guys seem like an acceptable option.
@Gussie
“It was actually in the news recently that the Boston Red Sox have the most racist fans in Major League Baseball after the Adam Jones incident: https://www.nytimes.com/2017/05/05/opinion/red-sox-racism-and-adam-jones.html“
Most racist fans? Guess there weren’t any “most racist team names” still up for grabs? 😐
Chinese food for Christmas dinner is Jewish?
Honestly, I just thought it was a lot of people hive-influenced by ‘A Christmas Story.’
@mrex I don’t know if it’s true or not. Kinda a hard thing to gauge, but that’s Boston’s rep. Again, I say this as a Blue Jays fan. We’ve made headlines for throwing heavy objects onto the field on multiple occasions, so I’m not saying my city’s a shining example of sportsmanship. We can be jerks up here in Canada too.
[Edit]
I’m not surprised that Jones was called the N-word in Boston. As I said, Boston is racist shit. But I also think it only really hit the news in the way it did because Boston is supposed to be filled with preachy, rich liberals that are oh so above racism, and people want to go “see, the liberals are worse”.
@Dormousing it
I’m sorry. A few years ago I had to put down Miss Alice, who was 21, because she jumped off of a bed and broke her hip in a quite spectacular fashion.
So I know how it feels to do that last duty for the grande dame of the family. My condolences.
__________
As for the numbnuts mentioned in the OP, I am white (just oh so very white) I have had cats my entire adult life–sometimes as many 5 at a time (during the early months of a litter) and yet I managed to have kids. In fact I have 5 grandchildren. I am sure however, that said set of numbnuts would not be pleased to know that every single one of those grandchildren are racially mixed.
@Axe
If you still have family members in NY you might be surprised if you ask them about the current integration of neighborhoods. My dad who is black almost got beaten to death taking my mom who is white to Little Italy for dinner when they were first dating in 1980. Now some black people live there, not a huge amount but some.
Harlem is at least 25% white now, the heights are still mostly Hispanic but again at least 20-30% other races. I live in the village which is just completely and utterly mixed. I couldn’t even start to give you percentages and ive lived here all my life. I see at least six different races of people on the 2 blocks from the train to my house almost everyday. If you chill in Union Square for a while you’ll see people from over a dozen different countries.
Manhattan is definitely the best for that but parts of Brooklyn and Queens are doing well with that too. Staten Island and the Bronx plus the deeper bits of Brooklyn and Queens not so much. But it’s definitely many times better then it was in the 80s though. I’ve heard so many horror stories about the eighties from my parents. I don’t remember cuz I wasn’t born until 84.
Also the colleges and universities tend to be very integrated, look at NYU, Hunter, City College, Columbia, etc. And that’s a lot of people’s first stop when they arrive in NYC. So most people here at least don’t have the absurd racism of people who live in all white bubbles.
Like I said if you look at the numbers for specifically NYC, Trump got almost none of the vote. I honestly don’t know one person who voted for him. I think Hillary got 92% of the vote which went up to close to 100 percent if you were looking at people of color. I think that says something good about NYC. Did you not like it here out of curiosity, cuz you sound like you didn’t. I truly do think it’s the greatest city in the world but that may because I’ve never been out of North America. I’ve even been to Canada and Mexico,(only a few days in each one)but on trains because I have severe plane phobia.
And on the police’s bloodthirstiness I saw how that cop beat my friend for having a tiny bag of drugs and being a black man. That cop enjoyed it, you could see it in his eyes and face. that is why I literally have a phobia of cops since that day. I get anxiety attacks around them. Some people say I’m being melodramatic but that’s just how I feel about them
@Amnesia,
re: Chinese food at Christmas,
It’s only because lots of Chinese restaraunts are open on Christmas and it’s easy to get something that’s Kosher.
@Alan,
There’s a great picture of Trump looking over Melania’s shoulder while voting.
ETA I tried but failed to embed pic, back to html school for me.
The Boston Red Sox were the last team in baseball to have a black player because the owner in the 50s and 60s was a guy named Tom Yawkey who was an outspoken racist — his father had once owned the Detroit Tigers, I believe, and Yawkey was firmly convinced that baseball should be a white man’s game. On the other hand, Yawkey was very strong in his support of the Jimmy Fund, a charity that in collaboration with Dana-Farber raises money to treat children with cancer, so he wasn’t 100% evil.
Under pressure, in the 50s the Red Sox gave a tryout to several black players, and ended up signing a guy named Piper Davis for their minor league team. Davis was a good Negro League player but well past his prime and never came close to the majors. On of the players they auditioned but didn’t sign was Willie Mays, so in effect Yawkey’s racism deprived the Sox of having Ted Williams and Willie Mays in the same outfield.
On the other hand, the Boston Bruins had the first black player in the National Hockey League (Willie O’Ree) and the first black player in the National Basketball Association (Don Barksdale). The Celtics were the first NBA team to have a black superstar (Bill Russell), the first to start five black players in a game, and the first major pro team to have a black head coach (Russell again) with the exception of Fritz Pollard who was a head coach in the NFL for a short time in the early 20s. But everyone points to Yawkey’s Sox. They don’t mention Red Auerbach’s Celtics.
A lot of Boston’s reputation for racism was the product of one very loud and obnoxious person, School Committeewoman Louise Day Hicks, who led the anti-bussing (for desegregation) fight in the 60s. She became a national figure for a while. On the other hand, in the same time frame (1966), Massachusetts elected Ed Brooke, the very popular state attorney general, to the US Senate, making him the first African-American US Senator since Reconstruction and the first to be popularly elected. (Before 1920, US Senators were elected by state legislatures.)
I’m not arguing that there isn’t plenty of racism in Boston/Massachusetts (I’m old but not demented), just that it’s not outstandingly racist compared to other cities. Some jerk with (presumably) alcoholic assistance hurled a racial slur at Adam Jones. The next night Jones was given a standing ovation by the Boston fans when he came to bat, and the Boston pitcher took a bit of a walk around the infield so as not to cut it short. I’d defy anyone to find a group of 35,000 random Americans without a racist aynus. But some people seemed to argue that a slur by one fan outweighed what was basically an apology by 35,000, and I don’t get that.
Sometimes I think that some white people like to deal with racism by saying, “Look, I’m not like them” — and that misses the point, it seems to me. And it’s not saying the n-word (most racists know not to do that), it’s thinking the n-word that is the real problem, IMO. And I don’t buy the argument that Boston is somehow The Worst There Is.
@KK
Hate to say you’re wrong, but…
1)New York is still one of the most segregated cities in the country. Behind Detroit and Milwaukee, turns out
2)did the math on the census blocks that make up Harlem, and it’s actually a little less than 20% white. Close enough tho. But this does speak to a broader point. The black neighborhoods are integrating, the white ones aren’t nearly as well. Gentrification, ya know?
3)Clinton actually got 80% of the vote in the 5 boroughs to Trump’s 17
However…
You’re reading 3 levels deep when there’s really only 2. I love New York, it is the greatest city in the world, and I won’t listen to anyone who says otherwise. Or, the main 4 boroughs are the best place in the world, Staten Island can go fuck itself. I criticize, cos I want my home to be as wonderful in fact as it is in my mind 🙂
I do, and I’ll ask em about it next week. We’re all going to Barbados for a family reunion. Now, I’d like to hear what they hafta say. Could be very interesting
@Katie-senpai
No, actually I’m glad you asked me this.
Long Island is a shitty, racist slice of Red America off the Hudson River, a study of Neofeudalist Capitalism run wild: on the far east end (the famous Hamptons, where you can find modern-day Castles made up of very large houses with walls and gates strong enough to keep out a Norman Conquest), and in the northwestern territories (such as Smithtown and Lake Grove), there are large enclaves of rich people, comprised mostly of rich White people.
The rich people live in big gated communities with big walls and gates also meant to keep the N-words like myself out.
In between these modern-day Medieval barons and baronesses, we, the muddy, dirty peasants, scrabble around to survive between the lethal killer cops who do things much like the NYPD, the rampant Italian Mafia presence (chances are if you’re working for an Italian guy or girl named Gina Napolitano or Sonny Vitelli, you’re part of a criminal enterprise. They have lots of pizza shops and spaghetti restaurants that don’t make any money or have customers, yet the owners are somehow driving Lamborghini Gallardos or Masaratis, they run most of the construction companies out here and strong-arm all the business contracts. There is so much fucking corruption and crime in the construction industry out here), the KKK presence (you can actually just see KKK fliers nailed to walls, people spraypaint Swastikas all over the place), and so on.
Interracial couples are really rare here. Now, I thought that was normal until I went to New York City and saw all the interracial couples there. That was part of how I began to learn about how Long Island was a racist shithole.
That, and all the loud, angry white men and women driving pickup trucks with “SUPPORT YOUR LOCAL POLICE”, “BLUE LIVES MATTER”, “KEEP HONKING – I’M RELOADING!” and “I SHOOT AND I VOTE” bumper stickers, who will call you an N-word while driving past you, as I and other PoC I know have experienced.
Republicans control Long Island in full. Conservative reactionary racist bullshit is a way of life here. The poor white people vote to give rich people more money and worsen their own quality of life every time, then they rage about n-words and s-words.
These things are probably why Axe said something to the effect of how his black ass wouldn’t be caught dead in Long Island, once, to me, and I don’t blame him. This is why I remarked that you must think here is “HERE BE DRAGONS” land – our KKK, Italian Mafiosos, and White Nationalists driving trucks with actual fucking nooses hanging off them.
ETA:
Seriously, if you need proof we’re living in post-capitalist neofeudalism, come to Long Island and I’ll show you these ridiculous Hamptons houses with walls like that of a 1100s castle. I am always struck by how big, thick, and high the walls are, and how much land the houses are on.
Lord of the manor indeed.
Also, you are right to be afraid of the police. They will fucking kill you. Every day you’re still alive and not killed by the police is a lucky shot on your part.
@Fran
Staten Island, West Brooklyn, Long Island? Fuck it, I’d rather take my chances upstate…
Warning: possibly bad jokes, sarcasm not marked…
Comparative religion: To get from one religion to another, add or subtract belief in one or two prophets. Works from Jewish, to Christian, to Mormon, to Islam.
To get to socialism, you add Lenin, Trotsky, and/or Marx.
Keep adding more profits to get to capitalism.
@Axe
It’s a wise decision on your part, I cannot find any fault with your choice at all.
Honestly surprised sometimes I am still alive and in one piece instead of being Sandra Blended by one of those “I SHOOT AND VOTE” fuckwits.
I look at my early teenage years and the shenanigans we would get up to, and, in retrospect, there were so many opportunities for a drunk white man or woman to blow my head off.