By David Futrelle
It is with heavy heart I must report that they have figured it out:
*speaks into collar* they're onto the cat thing. pic.twitter.com/3AW1WPqk0O
— Stephen Mangan (@StephenMangan) June 18, 2017
It was a plan so beautiful in its simplicity:
- Flood the internet with pics of adorable kitties and thereby convince white women to adopt them as pets
- Suck the maternal instinct from white women thus genociding the white race
- ???
- Profit!
But alas, some of the world’s cleverer racists suspected that something was up from the start. They noticed that, as one writer for the “scientific racist” website Counter-Currents has pointed out, “feminist cat ladies … are surely one of the most anti-natal groups in America today,” fervent in their “opposition to motherhood.”
The Daily Stormer, meanwhile, has declared that
Feminism has been the most powerful tool in the white genocide agenda, to divert women from starting strong and healthy white families and people laugh at this but look around- we live in a world where a woman owning twenty cats is considered normal.
Meanwhile, on a site called The Burning Platform, an alt-right ideologue called Yojimbo has argued that feminism causes
Women [to] form bonds with pets that normally would be formed with men or their children, hence the meme of the cat lady.
And now tec63298, posting on Instagram, has clarified the role of the evil globalists in the cat-lady white genocide plot.
But I am happy to report that the goyim have not yet figured out who really is to blame for it all. As those of us in the inner circle have known from the start, it’s not the globalists using cats for their own nefarious purposes, but cats using globalists for their even more nefarious, if also adorable, purposes.
Alas, there’s one anon on 4chan’s /pol/ board who’s almost got it figured out:
Quick! Deploy the distraction gifs!
These little angels couldn’t be plotting anything evil, right?
David Futrelle,
So now even cats are minions of the Jews out to destroy the “white race?” Do these pathetic racist losers even care if other people think they are a joke now?
Oh those horrible anti white Jews, giving white women cats, what a horrible “Genocide” this is!
David Futrelle,
Seriously through, this makes me wonder if Tec63298 is some kind of poe. This sounds too much like something that someone who wanted to make fun of these people would come up with and post online in order to get a rise out of people
@Alan
Patrick Stewart and Ian McKellen are acting gods, in my personal patheon. Though I wish I could’ve seen the Broadway production with Bert Lahr, for historical reasons (even if I’ve heard one critic complain that Lahr’s Gogo shouldn’t have had a pebble in his shoe).
The original idea of the “Aryan race” was part of an attempt to argue that the European nobility was intellectually and physically superior to and more resistant to disease than commoners (yes, people actually thought there were innate biological reasons why the nobles didn’t get sick as often as commoners). Commoners were inferior because they’d been corrupted by centuries of racial mixing since the Early Middle Ages, and the United States wasn’t an aristocratic monarchy because Americans were already racially mixed beyond repair. It all started as a “scientific” argument supporting anti-republicanism in the nineteenth century.
People in the South in the US and later the Confederate States co-opted that argument and tried to use it to justify slavery, ignoring all the stuff about anti-republicanism and Americans being racially impure. Pretty much all of scientific racism is bullshit trying to justify inequality that rips off other bullshit trying to justify inequality.
Dormousing it, so sorry to hear about your kitty. <3
@AsAbove
Flag by nyan cats are the best! I really like the Brazil one. Showed @Chio it way back last year, and I just gave myself a sad… 🙁
@Fran
1)oh, that shit defintely goes way farther back than the teps. As if such bullshit artists could come up with any original ideas
2)*listening to hoteps, tryna keep a straight face like*
*walks off laughing, hums Jungle Fever by Stevie Wonder*
Also, this video is really good about a white dude’s illuminating interaction with British hoteps
Same for me after the election. 63% of white men, 53% of white women voted Trump, and I couldn’t tell who on the street or at the store wanted me and mine dead or gone. Eventually, I learned that the white folks in my area are actually relatively decent (tho, there are some assholes that show up at the job I should tell you about sometime), so I loosened up. Had me shook for, like, a fuckin week tho…
Thing is, Poe, or not… it’s possible to imagine a real alt-wighty saying that. Everything that isn’t in favor of fascism must be part of an international conspiracy of people (or cats). To the alt-right, being fascist-like is the self-evidently correct way to be, and all other ideologies are so obviously wrong that only an international conspiracy can explain how non-fascists do so much better at nearly everything.
By that sort of logic, the conspiracy to keep down fascism MUST exist, even if no one else thinks it’s there.
ETA: A lot of those white folks were somewhat racist, yes, and the scandals the Republicans came up with gave them an excuse to choose Trump as the “lesser evil” because Hillary was somehow worse for doing things politicians have to do these days unless they’re Trump..
Oogly,
You’re most definitely Jewish now! 😀
My above thoughts are not serious, it’s a running joke in the US and UK that Jewish people love to eat Chinese food.
Making this comment just to change my ‘nym. These people are surely – surely – just fucking with us now.
If eating Chinese food at Christmas makes me Jewish, then Jewishness is awesome.
Back in the days when I could have cats, (Hubs and kid are both extremely allergic; I miss having mousers) I had a pure white cat with heterochromia iridium eyes, and a pure black cat.
I’m confused. Was I contributing to white genocide or trying to force better race relations by feline cooperation?
I never bothered to ask their religion…I always figured the worshiped Bastet.
¯\_(ツ)_/¯
@Alan: What about the Steve Martin/Robin Williams Godot from the late eighties?
@ Austin
Ooh, not seen. But now I want to. That sounds potentially amazing. Although I would have to stop myself yelling “Stay away from the cans!” at inopportune moments.
@Admiral Valentine
You’re right!
Here’s some more homegrown US grossness you might find interesting:
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/sexual-racism-the-daily-show_us_5710aa9ce4b0060ccda2e97d
@Axe
In my case, it was after Obama was elected and people were fucking hanging mannequins with his face on them.
I always knew the US was a hateful place, because my mother would tell me about how racism basically did not exist in her home country of Guyana, but I allowed myself to turn a blind eye to it and ignored it for a while.
The hideous backlash to Obama changed all that. The final straw was when Trayvon Martin was killed and all these white people were bouncing around screaming about how Trayvon deserved to die, and I realized that they just wanted to kill some black people for no particular reason.
I knew Trump was going to get elected but I bitterly insisted to myself that surely things would have been different this time, but they weren’t, and he merely confirmed what I had suspected. I was still devastated when he won, though, because I realized we’re all gonna die now, through some sort of cataclysmic disaster, unless we’re extremely lucky.
@Francesca Torpedo, Femoid Special Forces Major
4,000 years but we were late on making Glass, damn Hoteps got to it first.
/ shakes empty fist
@Axecalibur: Middle Name Danger
A jewish Nyan Cat, that is hilarious and adorable.
@Mish of the Catlady Ascendancy
That woman was a jerk for saying something like that to your son.
@Iseult The Idle
We have so much control that no even notices the REAL Lizard people under the Lizard people suits.
@Z&T
Yeah I know, just had a little fun there too.
Welp, it’s time to go home and check on the purring Jews now! It’s a shame because I could be out there breeding with some alt right dudes…
Psych–I’m menopausal, so nope!
Wouldn’t even if I could, as it happens.
Don’t forget to have your purring Jews circumcised. Er…. wait, what?
Oh snap, David just retweeted an example of exactly what I was talking about.
I, for one welcome our feline overlords.
(And yes, this is the SECOND time today I got to use this line.
@Fran
Utah has, like, 12 black people total. This is just sad…
@Mea,
But … we all chant the line at set times, don’t we? As it is written, in the holy text of the Feline Overlords? Are you some kind of heretic? 😛
@Axe
This reminds me of your earlier point for a second; okay, so let’s explore this thing they’re talking about in which interracial couples are WHITE GENOCIDE.
Let us first consider your observation that racial enclaves in the U.S. are already tightly closed, with very little migration between the races.
Furthermore, most of the maniacal white supremacists live in places that are largely inhabited only by white people. What they’re afraid of, this hellscape they imagine of black people milling about everywhere, like a sea of melanin-infused bodies, is totally unlikely to occur.
These people, like Miss Arya-na in that picture, are throwing water on damp wood whilst screaming about how their houses are burning down around their ears. In other words, they are defending themselves against a threat that is almost non-existent.
I don’t know what it is – do they think we’re like the Xenomorphs from Alien, that once you let two black people in it’s all over; we latch onto people’s faces and inject even more black babies down their throat, then months later your town looks like Mogadishu?
Hmm. That’s a hotep-worthy idea I just had, I mean, the Xenomorphs are black in color and quitestronger than normal humans in most ways.
@Mish of the Catlady Ascendancy
I thought the chant was “Aren’t you a sweet kitty? Yes you are!” as you use the Sacred Furminator Brush right before the Holy Feeding Time.
“Cats are like the female equivalent of a sexbot”? That’s funny, I thought it was vibrators.
Or, you know, male sexbots. They exist now. I don’t know anyone who’d cop to owning one (or who can afford it and not be seriously hurting for cash, our dollar being still just 77 man-cents), but hey.
(Sorry, I’m still chuckling from the masturbation thread.)
Pets are surrogate children, but also… like sex bots? What in god’s name do these men think parent-child relationships are like? Hell, what do they think romantic relationships are like?