By David Futrelle
It is with heavy heart I must report that they have figured it out:
*speaks into collar* they're onto the cat thing. pic.twitter.com/3AW1WPqk0O
— Stephen Mangan (@StephenMangan) June 18, 2017
It was a plan so beautiful in its simplicity:
- Flood the internet with pics of adorable kitties and thereby convince white women to adopt them as pets
- Suck the maternal instinct from white women thus genociding the white race
- ???
- Profit!
But alas, some of the world’s cleverer racists suspected that something was up from the start. They noticed that, as one writer for the “scientific racist” website Counter-Currents has pointed out, “feminist cat ladies … are surely one of the most anti-natal groups in America today,” fervent in their “opposition to motherhood.”
The Daily Stormer, meanwhile, has declared that
Feminism has been the most powerful tool in the white genocide agenda, to divert women from starting strong and healthy white families and people laugh at this but look around- we live in a world where a woman owning twenty cats is considered normal.
Meanwhile, on a site called The Burning Platform, an alt-right ideologue called Yojimbo has argued that feminism causes
Women [to] form bonds with pets that normally would be formed with men or their children, hence the meme of the cat lady.
And now tec63298, posting on Instagram, has clarified the role of the evil globalists in the cat-lady white genocide plot.
But I am happy to report that the goyim have not yet figured out who really is to blame for it all. As those of us in the inner circle have known from the start, it’s not the globalists using cats for their own nefarious purposes, but cats using globalists for their even more nefarious, if also adorable, purposes.
Alas, there’s one anon on 4chan’s /pol/ board who’s almost got it figured out:
Quick! Deploy the distraction gifs!
These little angels couldn’t be plotting anything evil, right?
Why would this be more likely to work on white women?
“A woman owning twenty cats”? That’s just ridiculous. Everybody knows humans don’t own cats, cats own humans.
I don’t think having 20 cats is quite as common as the wags at “The Daily Stormer” seem to think.
I mean, nothing against having that many or more if you have the space, time, and funds to take care of them all properly.
I think most people stop at <5, with a good many of those being 1 or 2.
But what do I know? I'm a spinster (one cat & one dog) lady.
I feel like these people have never met a cat. Or a woman. Or a child.
They’ve discovered the Egyptian extremely long con of domesticating cats so that they could lower the white population thousands of years in the future, slightly after cats probably prevented tons of European deaths by killing disease-carrying vermin.
See? This is what Donald meant when he said to grab her by the…
No. No it wasn’t.
MRAs: Eeeevil women aren’t having enough babies, thus destroying civilization.
Also MRAs: Eeeevil women spermjack men to get pregnant without permission, trapping them in a relationship. Masculine nature cannot be tamed, and trapping men in monogamy destroys civilization.
MRAs continue: Women divorce rape men to get child support. Child support keeps hardworking men poor and thus destroys civilization.
Still MRAs: Eeeevil women vote for welfare to support slutty single moms. Welfare destroys civilization.
MRAs not done yet: Women working to support themselves amd their children destroys civilization!
Remember those Henri the black cat videos? Henri called his kitty sibling “the White Imbecile.” Now I see that it was subtle white genocide message. He was getting cat fans to see the inferior of the white race!
This has gone way, way, beyond satire now. I can’t believe these posts are real. I’ve never been maternal, not at all. I have a hamster, does that count?
Quick! Switch to Plan B! (What do you mean, there isn’t one?)
So, at this point I have to ask:
What isn’t causing white genocide?
And if whites are that easy to genocide, why should they survive?
I thought the alt-right alfalfabois were all about strength and stuff….
…there were heavy doses of sarcasm in my post, in case it wasn’t obvious or if some MRA-dipshit shows up.
What the FUCK does this mean? Do alt-righters imagine that’s what being in a relationship with a woman is like? You sleep 16 hours/day, eat dried fish from a bowl, shit in a box, and sometimes sit on her lap trying to rub your head against her hands? Guys! You have completely unrealistic expectations of married life! It’s not like that at ALL!
Ha, I only WISH men and children were as low-maintenance as cats.
All my cat ever wants out of me is a can of food twice a day. a reasonably clean litterbox, and lots of brushing and grooming. But mainly the food thing.
Also, where did they get the idea that *only* white women have cats?
@Weatherwax
Well Plan B would also accomplish the goal of low birth rates.
Badum-tish.
Hmmm…I have a dog, two cats, one husband, and one son. As a feminist, clearly I am one husband and one son above my quota (and 18 cats below). Yes, clearly having the two cats has prevented me from bonding with my husband (who means more in the world to me than anyone else) and my son (who means more in the world to me than anyone else). Yes, those last two statements may seem contradictory, but, really, they’re not. It must means both of them are quite important to me, and I still manage to dote on my cats (the dog is mostly my husband’s; he has a bad habit of jumping on me that annoys me because he does not have retractable claws).
@Imaginary Petal:
Yeah, I still have to use the toilet.
And I, for one, welcome our new feline overlords. I’d like to remind them that, as a trusted posting personality, I can be useful in rounding up others to toil at their vast catnip farms.
I hope Dave doesn’t mind if I took those gifs for my brain bleach folder.
I, for one, welcome our new feline overlords.
Well, according to alt-right logic, everything leads to white genocide, including killing other people who aren’t white.
You start from a false premise, and you can prove almost anything.
I guess this is slightly more amusing than the comments by Wounded Men on the female only ride sharing service that was created by and for women assaulted by taxi and Uber drivers.
Apparently that’s a slippery slope you see, and how would women like it if men conspired to keep THEM out of things…
I didn’t know feminism addressed pet ownership. I must be feministing wrong.
They’re convinced that if women were deperately miserable, lonely, broken and broke they’d all have dates. Anything that women enjoy must be why they’re alone. If only women needed them, they’d be swimming in attention.
It never occurs to them that if someone would have to be utterly degeted and desperate for resources to be with them, they’re the problem.
You can love your pets and your kids. You can be financially stable and want a lover or partner. You can love innumerable friends, family members, critters, etc and not run out of love.
They don’t want friends and lovers though. They want slaves. (Not the kinky kind either. That involves consent and they do not want a woman’s consent.) They do not want women’s personhood recognized culturally or legally. They don’t get off on the idea of being chosen. They get off on the idea of ownership and abuse.
I cannot recall the name of the movie, but I remember seeing a French film about a little girl who is isolated by an abusive grandmother, so she draws a face a sock and talks to it.
That’s what this reminds me of.
Between an abusive man and a sock, I’d rather talk to the sock.
Mr. Parasol and I have, on occasion, housed as many as 7 cats. All of them have been very cute.
But I can’t say they’ve been a child substitute. For one thing, the average human parents don’t often need to say when their child is ready to die. We’ve had to say goodbye to 4 cats so far, and we’re bracing ourselves for farewell #5.