By David Futrelle
Professional “pickup artists” tend to have a thing against masturbation, largely because (one suspects) men who are not continually sexually frustrated are less receptive to their nonsense PUA teachings. And so it’s hardly surprising to find an anti-masturbation tirade on Roosh V’s crap site Return of Kings today, filled with cherry-picked science and assorted weird leaps of logic intended to prove that masturbation is very very bad for men.
Overall the post, written by a self-proclaimed “licensed personal trainer, martial artist, musician, writer, and (barely) a video reviewer and cartoonist” named Larsen Halleck, is a pretty standard example of its very particular genre.
But there’s one part of the post that strikes me as original. Seems that one of the reasons masturbation is such a bad idea for manly men is that … it makes their hands unpleasingly soft. You know, because of all the lotion.
“[W]omen are just not attracted to buttery soft, womanly hands,” Halleck declares.
In my personal experience, women love to feel the calluses upon a man’s hands, and just one lotion-soaked fap session a week will take away from the sexy, alligator-like roughness of your palms.
So fellas, forget all you’ve heard about masturbation making hair grow on your palms. Apparently it actually turns your manly man hands into lady hands.
Of course, Halleck’s advice isn’t exactly useful for those dudes whose hands have already turned “buttery soft,” and who don’t have time enough to get them all callousy before their next hot date. Luckily there is another option: stop by the local hardware store to get yourself some sandpaper-coated sanding gloves like, say, these.
Take my word for it, fellas, the ladies love to be sanded down and buffed like an old dresser you found in the alley.
JS now i understood. ?? it is cosmonaut buzz aldrin
Re: circumcision
What is with this ‘circumcised folks’ junk is a gnarly, bloody hellscape’ thing. I’ve never heard of that before. I mean, yeah, it… toughens up over the years. But, so long as you’re treating it as well as you would any body part and not over exposing it to friction, nothing bad is gonna happen. If you’re happy you’re intact, I’m happy for ya. Just lay off the horror stories a bit. Jeez… O.o
@Nerd
Yo, we just talked about not putting arbitrary limits on these things
CW: sexual oversharing
And besides, how is this supposed to work in a practical sense? if you masturbate for several hours a day, as I have been known and as I like to do, then are you supposed to turn off the porn halfway thru? Are you supposed to watch some to start, turn it off, then come back towards the end? Like, splain to me the logistics of this. Also wonder how this excessive porning has ruined me, but that’s a different question…
CW: sexual oversharing
Where do we come up with this stuff, honestly?
Personally I think that’s the best rebuttal to the Apollo hoax claims ever. It’s vaguely possible 400,000 people could take part in a conspiracy and never speak of it again. But an accounts department reimbursing you for miles you hadn’t actually done? No way.
@hambeast what is ice on your wings mean?
Would that be a domestic trip, since they planted a US flag on the moon?
@Valentine ‘ice on your airplane’s wings’ 🙂
@Alan Robertshaw
A bit late but I’m glad to be of service to you.
“Cosmonaut” Buzz Aldrin? *grin* (I don’t mind “cosmonaut”, but some people in the US would be very annoyed)
And the whole “travel reimbursement for x0000 miles: $33.31”
The PUA argument that masturbating to orgasm “saps” a man’s energy has been around for ages. There’s neither scientific proof that it’s true, or that it’s false, since it’s based on subjective experience. In my experience, it’s true to a degree.
tmi My experience is that sex feels way better when the guy is almost desperately horny. This is true whether or not I have also been recently abstaining from masturbating to orgasm, although it seems to be even better for both of us when I also abstain. 😉 /tmi It’s a scientific fact that many humans have a refractory period, (penis havers especially), so maybe this has something to do with that?
RE: Citation Needed
Can’t believe no-one has mentioned yourbrainonporn.com. Should I be impressed or depressed?
There are plenty of legitimate criticisms of porn. Far too much of porn is exploitative in nature. It can give its users unrealistic expectations of sex, and teach it’s users bad habits. But this is not necessarily a criticism of porn, but more of the way that society uses and produces porn.
I mean, if you’re stupid enough to unquestionly look to porn to teach you about sex, is it really the porn’s fault?
Yes, but what is it mean?
Eh fuck *unquestionably. I’m sure I made a few more typos.
mrex : given that masturbation itself also feel better after a period of abstinence, that seem credible.
That being said, I have seen people who become way too quick to orgasm when they are too horny. So there’s that. I guess if both party orgasm quickly it’s not as much of a problem.
(that being said, refractory period if they exist seem to be like less than ten minute to me. Or maybe they only trigger after a particulary intense string of encounter)
(also, I guess men can run out of sperm, but I don’t think anyone really feel the difference if it’s only seminal fluid)
@Valentine, Ah, sorry. Since she learned Russian in the US Air Force she was showing off her knowledge of aviation terms in Russian (‘icing on the wings’ means that there is ice on the wings (not the sugary stuff that is on a cake), which can cause the airplane to have less lift and not fly very well)
I hope that was clearer?
@Axecalibur
The problems don’t seem to be the heavy porn use in itself. It sounds like the people are using porn so much that they’re not doing anything else.
Certain studies are based on case histories written by psychotherapists with conservative religious beliefs, so those studies are highly suspect.
Looking that travel over, and…did I read that reimbursement amount right? $33.33 for a round trip to the moon and back?!? Even in 1969 dollars, that seems like an incredibly small amount of money for that trip. Or even if you took out the moon part and left it at going to the Pacific Ocean and back, that still seems like a rather paltry sum for all that travel.
Quite late, but @Newt:
I’ll be sure to look that up.
At least they were using their employer’s vehicle and fuel.
Here’s a breakdown of the claim. Looks like, dollar per day for travel. $8 for the time actually on the Moon. Appears they deducted $2.25 in lieu of something (‘meals’?).
That’s the public sector for you. Still, I’m sure the taxpayers approve.
ETA: Ha, seems he did have to use his ‘personal own vehicle’ for bits of it and got $10
@Olhman
Yes, I agree that guys don’t last as long when they’re desperately horny. Which is why it’s often a bad idea to rely exclusively on P in V sex when having sex with women. 😉
Men tend to talk shit about premature ejaculation like women universally hate it, but I’ve never had any problems with a guy that came too fast. On the other hand, I’ve also slept with a guy that had delayed ejaculation, and trust me, it’s faaarrrrr easier to compensate for PE than it is for DE.
Also refactory periods exist. 🙂 They just vary a lot from individual to individual.
Sorry I still dont understand…she means she can say ‘icing on the wings’ on russian? Or it is something they say in us air force that means something? Because my interpret is that it was like some metaphor for experience, not really that she meant ice directly….
) this is simply what my translator suggested.
OT (Although I’m enjoying how far the conversation has got whilst staying broadly on-topic 🙂 ) I’ve just noticed The Red Pill is available on Amazon Prime (in the UK). If I start watching, does any money land in the makers’ pockets (I’m guessing yes, but not much)?
After the last couple of weeks, I’m not sure I have the emotional resources for it (except as a 1984 styley Minute of Hate – only longer). But comments welcome.
Sorry if someone already noticed, and I missed it.
@Valentine
It’s literal ice on the wing of the plane, which is important info to be able to share with pilots/ground crew. Since she was in the air force, she learned air force lingo and people are impressed by the knowledge of such a specific term, not because it means anything.
Edit: @Weatherwax
I’m not sure if they pay for content by view or not.
@kupo Thanks. I’m despairing that English no longer seems to be my first language. /s 😛 (Not just here, at work, too.)
@ Fishy and Kupo
I am stupid, sorry, that is not from you fishy, i became confused – i just fully misunderstand everything that people said about this. )) if it would be some metaphor then it is pretty strange – i dont know what it can be for…