Open Thread for Personal Stuff: June 2017 Flexicat Edition

@kupo I love your hair, the blend is gorgeous! Also, shoulders are welcome.

@Mish, she is such a fluffy cat. I would definitely take snuggles.

@Valentine, I agree with what kupo and Lysistrata said. Also, if she is self-harming at 11 years old, she is not too young to talk about it. Kids think about a lot of stuff that is “too mature” for them to think about, often because they’re being bullied or abused. Better to give them a safe person to confide in, especially if you know there’s already something going on.

Man, I think I’m going to talk to my landlord and try to renegotiate the whole “no pets” thing. I’ve been here a year and have been an awesome tenant, and actually fixed up the place to where it’s in better shape now than it was when I moved in. And I really, really miss the companionship of a cat, especially when my kids are with their dad.

Alan, I noticed those references, and yeah. You are a sly man, as I said yesterday.

Mua ha ha!

Hugs/ condolences/ commiserations to everybody that needs them. Or sympathetic looks. Or something. Not much a hugger but I try. 🙁

I’m off from work, and I feel like glazed shit. I’ve had a low-grade, nasty, insidious headache for the past few days, and as expected (snort) the aches and the sandblasted feeling in the Region Formerly Known As My Uterus ™ and pretty much the entire inside of my skin have kicked in as is the simultaneous hunger and low-grade nausea. (Yep, this is a thing, go figure.) I haven’t had the energy or interest to be arsed about anything for two or three days or if I do it’s in the WRONG way, culminating in this lovely day. I didn’t want to call in as I have an evening shift and I like the head cashier I’d be having that night, but the way I was feeling earlier this afternoon put the kibosh on it. Being an introvert and working with customers is bad enough; trying to do it while feeling like this would be in the DMV queue section of Hell.

I do feel kind of guilty as it’s not enough to actually interfere with my functioning, but me functioning well is another matter. And since I had the sick time… There I’ve been in bed for most of the past couple days, reading stupid stuff on an iPad. :/

I’m 90 positive by this point of my life it’s got a hormonal component to it because I still have my ovaries, but there isn’t much doctors can do about it because my clotting disorder don’t play nice with hormonal therapy. mrgh. My counselor wondered if I could perhaps negotiate a set sick day off at work but I’m not so sure, given my erratic schedule both at work and with my damned ovaries.

In fuzzier and cuter news, the seventeen year old Plush Dominator running this place was terribly interested in my Dickey’s beef brisket and doing her Whine Torture of a Thousand Cuts in the hope that the the Treat Provider (me) would soon be there. She’s now asleep on a brown cushion that coordinates with her by my computer. Obviously she’s terribly fragile and geriatric and about to die of starvation at any time now. /s The hushuman has been playing Evil Genius on his machine and been quite supportive. I just wish I wasn’t a drag at the moment.

tl;dr My hormones suck ass, the cat sucks treats and pettings, the spouse is very non-suck, and I just suck.

@PaganReader

Kittens help. <3

I will also provide bonks from Her Plushness for any as wants them. She does good bonk work and has a wide head suited for bonkings.

Hi ))) sorry i slept.

@lysistrata
Молодец! Yes you correctly ))) soon you will learn very fast. So what you mean is i should simply think about her and about that i worry for her and care for her, and naturally i will find what i should say? Supposed to be after new year & christmas i should talk to her more because she recieved iPad (from grandparents) and she has email now. But i didnt because i just lazy and busy and selfish. Now i feel guilty for that.

@kupo
Your hair looks like candy )) really cool.

And if her parents and/or school counselor have been trying to ask her about the self harm, she’s probably suspicious of all adults right now.

Yes she must definately be suspicius now. But i dont want to say too much personal- but doctors really not that good in this area that she is living. Not trustable. So i will try to do like you say. If it because of school or parents then maybe it will be okay that i can talk and she know i am far away and will not tell.

@mish
Thank you also. )) i think i am almost ready to begin my message for her. Before i just scared, i didnt know what i can say that will make it better. But now i have some idea. Tonight i will make the email for her. ( and yes of course! You can say whatever you like )) )

@Nikki
Thank you)) i really hope i can to help her with this. Honestly, it is scarey for me, i cant think how scared she is….

So now i go to write my email for her! Thank you so much everyone!

Mystiful

O sorry i miss your post. I agree that you are correct – she is already mature if she is doing this. I think it is natural that i feel i dont want to talk with her because i think it too serious and she is child and needs protection – but now that is not important because she already understand much better than me. Or can be she not think it that serious and if i dont talk to her it will be worse because she think that it is healthy to continue…

@Katie

I’m about to blow your mind wide open: back in 2003 I, too, was with the Goth subculture and used to wear awesome long black trenchcoats and tight leather clothes and boots and whatnot. It was fucking spectacular.

I also had all the obscure interests that were popular amongst Goth kids at that time: I was fascinated with Medieval Europe and wanted to live in an actual castle with ravens in the tower and whatnot, and collected swords and knives and so on.

I only stopped because I had very little other friends who were also in the same subculture in my area. Also, at the time, there weren’t many other black people who were also in the Goth scene, or so it seemed to me.

I realize now that this was a dumb idea to have. Youtube showed me so many black gothy individuals that I would have loved to hang out with back in my goth days.

I still want to outfit my wardrobe with awesome, gothy clothes of various types. If I had a choice I’d definitely do the Victorian era style that used to be really popular back in my day.

Lastly, out of curiosity does anyone know if the goth subculture still exists or is it now just called emo? To me the words mean two different things but I’ve heard people conflate them.

People who conflate goths and emos are my mortal enemies.

Joking aside, yeah, goths still exist* and emos are very different despite the similar clothing. Emos are basically what panicky parents from the ’80s thought goths were, but with a terrible taste in music. =P

*On the Internet, nobody knows you’re wearing badass pancake makeup and listening to The Cure, like, right now. >_> Heh.

@katie

You not wasting my time at all! Please dont speak like that))) well i say before i dont want to share too much of details because i little bit paranoid somehow anyone who know me can find their way in this website. I think very unlikely but i just want to be sure. Also it little bit disrespectful to her to share all which i know.

But.

I will have to say one thing to be clear – it not cutting. Who described it to me call what she doing ‘brutal’. And also she did once infront of people. I dont know how many times it happen already, if it only just start or if it going on for some time. So it not like she keeping secret, or it was secret before and once infront of people she just become very distressed and then make some harm to herself there.

I trust those who there with her, i just really need to do something from here. I very far away in Pacific ocean right now and feels even more far at this moment. I still cant find her email adress on my email right now – too slow to load. So i just waiting now for who said they will send me. I thinking i can invite her and her mum to stay with me in my apartment for holiday when i home again. So she can be somewhere different and fun.

Thank you for your experiences – seems like you are adjusted well now? And make some recovery? It is not fair anyone should feel like this ((

Lastly, out of curiosity does anyone know if the goth subculture still exists or is it now just called emo? To me the words mean two different things but I’ve heard people conflate them.

Goths certainly still exist here in London, although the average age the goth clubs is perhaps higher than that in other subcultures. A lot of people have jobs and kids now and so don’t go to clubs as often, but when a band like VNV Nation or Combichrist plays then the tickets still sell out quickly.

Nowadays, there’s basically no difference between the goth and industrial scenes. Emo however, as SFHC says, is a different scene entirely. They also wear black, but beyond that there’s little similarity between them and us. Given the age difference between the two scenes, it may be a generational thing.

Emo’s not a bad musical genre and I’m sure the scene is great for the people in it, though. Do we have any emo Mammotheers?

@EJ (the Scheming Liberal Race-Traitor)
Best of luck to you. Don’t feel too bad about it, it’s your livelihood & it’s just the best option for you. Have you talked to your peers already about this decision? It’d give you some closure when it comes to a situation as serious as yours.

EJ – good luck with your interveiw. ))) my mum also doing reaserch before, in geology, so i know it must be hard for you to leave that because she also has many close friends from that time. But if it helps she found even more happiness after she change her job (and her country too!) So maybe even Germany could be one option for you too…if you think you can change your mind ?