By David Futrelle
Truly, there is nothing that the alt-right won’t declare a victory. Like, for example, the profile of me that ran this week in the New York Times, which Daily Stormer writer Eric Striker insists is a sign that he and his Nazi pals are “winning the culture war.”
In a post with the thoughtful headline “Jew York Times Writes Fluff Piece Promoting Professional Cuckold David Futrelle,” Striker complains that the NYT, er JYT
gave David Futrelle his first ever blowjob yesterday.
That’s the only word that could describe the promotional profile, which presented Futrelle as some sort of sardonic internet vigilante holding back the Nazi night.
He sounds a little mad.
In reality, all this fink does is copy and paste young men blowing off steam about women in their own spaces online. The entries are followed by feline Comic Book Guy style “Worst. Post. Ever…” snark.
Definitely mad.
Striker concludes his devastating critique of this little blog by calling me a “cuck.”
Being a man nowadays is hard, Futrelle takes the easy route. He is celebrated by elites at the Gray Yenta because he proudly accepts his status as a eunuch – what feminist women themselves deride as “Cuck Bois.”
Then, after cutting and pasting nearly the entire NYT piece, he declares FLAWLESS VICTORY.
[T]he system is giving Futrelle’s corporate product free promotion because the liberal bench is shallow and we’re winning the culture war.
WINNING!
This is a good sign, it means they can’t find the young Woody Guthrie or Rage Against The Machine so they have to settle for Man Boobz the internet blogger.
Huh? I’m not quite sure how I ended up in some sort of contest with the ghost of Woody Guthrie, but this did give me an excuse to post my little “this machine kills fascists” pic at the top of the post.
The “rules” Futrelle is so upset about people breaking are that feminism and the sexual revolution can never be challenged. Not even among teenage boys playing computer games.
That’s because the whole house is built on sand. One puff from the big bad Fascist wolf and Futrelle is blown the fuck out along with his wall of framed cat pictures.
Ok, first off, the houses that the big bad wolf blew away were made of straw and sticks, respectively, not sand. Seriously, dude. Preschoolers know this.
Second, I’m really not quite sure why my fondness for cats gets these dudes so mad, but let’s see if I can give a few of them heart attacks with this lil picture I made with the help of Dreamscopeapp.com.
Striker ends his post, somewhat unexpectedly, by asking you ladies reading this for a date:
And by the way David, since I know you’re reading this, just know that all the women who comment on your website would rather sleep with a misogynistic, muscular and dominant “Neo-Nazi” who berates them over you.
Ok, ladies, form a line on the (far) right!
@Hambeast-senpai
Not at all! I confess I’m not entirely up to date on what passes as culture in the neofascist sphere, aside from cosplaying as various Nazi people.
I know that the Hoteps expect you to attack me with every single scrap of power that your Superior White Aryan body can manage, because, you know, according the Hotepverse Mythology, white women are the sworn enemies of black women.
Again, I really have to remark on how much their ideology resembles a bad science fiction movie or an anime.
I don’t know what this magical duel between us should look like, really. I’m at a loss.
Maybe we could play Catan and see who loses first?
,blockquote>
Regardless of whom he might be trying to woo or neg here, we all know it’s gonna be a colossal pail o’ FAIL.
Personally, I’d rather throw myself at the mercy of the Hoteps than date a white power type.
Hope you like hearing about how DA BLACK MAN IZ GAWD-KING, and how James II of England was secretly a black man, and Queen Elizabeth was a black woman, and so on and so on.
One of my favorite Hotep Theories is this one: Scipio Africanus was actually a black man. Their reasoning? There’s a statue of him that was painted black. Q.E.D.
@Dreemr
Far be it from me to disagree with you, but from what I understand, some of those women almost single-handedly held back the German Wehrmacht advances across Eastern Europe back in the day.
For what it’s worth, I would definitely enlist you to fight against these new Nazis, should it come to that. I trust you have experience with firearms, perhaps? 😉
@Sir Alan
QEII likes guns and cars? Is she secretly me?
Are we…sisters?
I thought you were joking when you said you genuinely wanted me to come and reign Oop North, but I didn’t realize that you felt I shared enough traits with HM The Queen to do so. I really thought it was just a nice bon mot on your part. I’ll never doubt you again.
Also, I am glad you took my advice and chose to be grizzled. I responded to you in the Matt Forney thread, but I s’pose my response got lost in the daily posts.
Her Majesty in uniform.
She looks very dashing and tough, almost like she walked off the screen of a science fiction anime.
Legend of the Galactic Heroes, perhaps, or Space Pirate Harlock, or Crest Of The Stars.
@ fran
In the future, she is you…
http://25.media.tumblr.com/6144e1823d80b857f4a44cae9a8d110f/tumblr_mw7a45YNnJ1rmgvpho4_250.gif
@Sir Alan
Ah, yes, that’s from a Who episode, right? I read about it and thought it was quite a splendid idea. I can imagine it ruffled no small amount of #EDL feathers, too.
@Laughter at Bigots, Low-T Inbetweener Weener
Yes, that’s true, about the conservative media of the Fox News variety, harping about the “liberal media”. I just don’t understand how fully-grown adults with responsible jobs can possibly fall for it. No mainstream media can be truly liberal or leftist; the same giant conglomerates own ’em that own any number of big business entities.
I know what you mean about the ads. My favorite was Glen Beck catastrophizing on his ridiculous program, then pushing gold in ads on the very same program.
@Sir Alan
https://www.wehuntedthemammoth.com/2017/06/12/matt-forney-uses-anniversary-of-pulse-nightclub-murders-to-attack-sodomites-muslims-and-milo/comment-page-4/#comment-1396218
Also, we are discussing who should be cast in your role in the inevitable film adaptation of this.
Er, unless you plan to do a “And Starring Pancho Villa As Himself” sort of contribution.
David, I read this blog quite a lot but I feel your response was very lackluster. We cannot have these Nazi’s “ideas” get out in public.
However, if I was a young guy stumbling across this site and read this response I would have to probably agree with the Nazi shit head. Not because I agree with him just because he message is much more compelling. Cat pictures and “you’re a fascist” isn’t going to cut it. This guy is not offended by being called a fascist. Daily Stormer openly state that they are fascists and Nazi’s and are very proud of the fact.
I first stumbled upon dailystormer during the 2016 election after it was in the news and even I have to admit some of their arguments are very compelling. I hate myself for it but I have to agree with them on some things and this is a real problem. Especially a lot of their writing on female psychology and biological drives. They write in a disgusting way but it makes sense. You need to tackle these Nazi’s on the same level or more people are going to become attracted to their sick ideology.
@ fran
Someone once suggested Michael Chiklis. But then rather spoiled it when she added “if he let himself go a bit”
Whilst it wouldn’t exactly be spot on casting I could happily go with Andre Braugher.
Of the current heads of various nations, I think I’d quite enjoy meeting Queen Elizabeth II. Yeah, she’s privileged and there’s probably some stage managing to make her look good, but it seems she tries hard not to let it stop her from being an actually good person. I hope I’m that healthy if I make it to 91.
Going from Andre Braugher on “Last Resort” to “Brooklyn 99” was a bit of a shock though.
@Francesca Torpedo, I think I have a better grasp on the meaning of “Hotep,” which is good, because as a white guy I was hesitant to ask.
We had one here, a few years ago. In between misogynistic rants, he’d go on about how Cleopatra was black because Egypt is in Africa. It drove me up the wall. Nothing like denying European colonialism in North Africa, right?
@Alan
The first one is exactly how I pictured you. Amusingly, he looks exactly like a Warhammer40K Space Marine, as I had mentioned.
I like your idea of race-bending your character to the second. I was originally going to cast Quvenzhane Wallis as myself, but I shall also include the option for Tilda Swinton, provided she can be sassy and smart-alecky enough. I’m sure she’ll manage, she’s quite good at that sort of thing.
Alan Robertshaw – many of us would happily go with Andre Braugher.
@ Robert
Heh, I originally typed “I could live with…”
@Dormousing_it
The NYT is not left-wing. It’s not particularly feminist and not left-wing or socialist in any meaningful historical sense. It’s centrist but tends to lean left on certain social issues like abortion, gay marriage, and religion’s relationship to public policy. Modern liberalism has morphed into more of a centrist ideology (but a centrist government is better than a right-wing government).
Universities might be superficially left-wing on the surface, but you will quickly learn that’s not true if you spend a reasonable amount of time as a graduate student.
Is it just me or is the term “cuck” vaguely nauseating in a way I can’t define. Seriously, I’ve very seldom found a word in and of itself grotesque, but there it is…
Regarding left wing sources:. I always liked The Guardian and The Washington Post (which are essentially good journalism but lean slightly, ever so slightly left). I also read The American Prospect, The Toledo Blade, and a few others that are more expressly left. But the NY Times (aside maybe from the presence of Paul Krugman and Bob Herbert) is very much centrist
This Handle,
Seeing the word “cuck” in print just reminds me of chickens, so no, that doesn’t bother me.
Hearing the word spoken aloud squicks me the hell out.
Apparently the Alt Reich and the Oath keepers are turning on eachother.
https://www.splcenter.org/hatewatch/2017/06/15/alt-right-declares-flame-war-oath-keepers
@Zatar
That is a thing of beauty. Open nazis vs southern racist hate group, fight fight fight. Remember when people kept talking about the right being strong in their unity of race and all that other crap?
Lols for “feline.”
Also, a good excuse for a kitten gif, for all that ails you:
http://gph.is/1aei9wv
As a member of the secret super feminazi conspiracy bank: Uh, no. Come on, man, no one seriously uses your weird little subcult lingo but you.
Hahaha, keep dreaming.
http://gph.is/Y8iSzz
http://gph.is/2cOnOnW
Yeah, that name sounds authentic and believable, like someone you’d totally take seriously and all…
…snurk…
@Bina, Lady Commander
BEEF HARDCHEESE, DAILY STORMER WRITER
@Fran:
Oooo! Or maybe Chest Strongwell? Oh wait, that’s taken by a satirical Facebook page. Dang me.
Meanwhile:
Translation: “Waaaa, he’s violating our Special Snowflake Safe Spaces! MOMMYYYYYYYYY!!!!”
Yes, and I’m sure Dork Diggler here would know, eh?
That’s funny, I seem to recall David mentioning that he somehow manages to get Teh Sex. Without even negging a feeeemale, much less slapping her around.
Also, the term of art here is “fuckboys”, and it’s strictly sarcastic. Tends to be applied to menzers, of fascist persuasion or otherwise, who have a general odor of desperation* about them as they try to get women to notice them, and figure that even pointing, eye-rolls and laughter count as “being noticed”.
*an unholy combo of flop-sweat, Roosh V’s unwashed ass, Cheeto dust, stale spilled energy drinks and/or Mountain Dew, all topped with a hefty dousing of Axe.
See what I mean by what they count as “being noticed”? Everyone’s rejecting them as boorish and boring, with a bad haircut that looks even worse when combined with neckbeard, but they think they’re winning. That’s so cute!**
**means PATHETIC, dude.
What do you mean “settle for”? Dude, if I were merely settling, I’d be sleeping with a Nazi. Assuming his equipment worked when confronted with the likes of me and my cat-drawn chariot, that is. I read this site because I like to point and laugh at macho wannabes and tryhards, and speculate as to what shortcomings they’re compensating for every time they posture so hard.
Ah yes, crater-faced teenage wankers and their shooter-masturbation. Such a formidable intellectual challenge to my feminism! “Mom, I’m busy disciplining some bitch who’s wrong on the Internet! Just leave the Pizza Pockets outside my door, okay? (fap fap fappityfap fap)”
Truly, a force to be reckoned with…
…snurk…
Uh, dude…you do realize that the Big Bad Wolf was beaten in the end by a little pig who lived in a house of bricks, and who sheltered the other two piggies in it as well, right? (That’s socialism, dingus.)
(files nails, yawns)
Uh-huh…yeah, right.
…snurk…
Hey, “Eric”? Just know that misogyny and domineering tendencies cancel out any minor appeal that your muscles might have. If all those women would rather sleep with you than him, why are you wanking out angry, hilarious screeds at all hours, instead of, you know, enjoying life?
Silly fascist cucklehead. I’d rather sleep with a saguaro cactus, myself!
STRIKER!