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The Daily Stormer notices the profile of me in the New York Times, declares victory

Woody Guthrie’s true successor

By David Futrelle

Truly, there is nothing that the alt-right won’t declare a victory. Like, for example, the profile of me that ran this week in the New York Times, which Daily Stormer writer Eric Striker insists is a sign that he and his Nazi pals are “winning the culture war.”

In a post with the thoughtful headline “Jew York Times Writes Fluff Piece Promoting Professional Cuckold David Futrelle,” Striker complains that the NYT, er JYT

gave David Futrelle his first ever blowjob yesterday.

That’s the only word that could describe the promotional profile, which presented Futrelle as some sort of sardonic internet vigilante holding back the Nazi night.

He sounds a little mad.

In reality, all this fink does is copy and paste young men blowing off steam about women in their own spaces online. The entries are followed by feline Comic Book Guy style “Worst. Post. Ever…” snark.

Definitely mad.

Striker concludes his devastating critique of this little blog by calling me a “cuck.”

Being a man nowadays is hard, Futrelle takes the easy route. He is celebrated by elites at the Gray Yenta because he proudly accepts his status as a eunuch – what feminist women themselves deride as “Cuck Bois.”

Then, after cutting and pasting nearly the entire NYT piece, he declares FLAWLESS VICTORY.

[T]he system is giving Futrelle’s corporate product free promotion because the liberal bench is shallow and we’re winning the culture war. 

WINNING!

This is a good sign, it means they can’t find the young Woody Guthrie or Rage Against The Machine so they have to settle for Man Boobz the internet blogger.

Huh? I’m not quite sure how I ended up in some sort of contest with the ghost of Woody Guthrie, but this did give me an excuse to post my little “this machine kills fascists” pic at the top of the post.

The “rules” Futrelle is so upset about people breaking are that feminism and the sexual revolution can never be challenged. Not even among teenage boys playing computer games.

That’s because the whole house is built on sand. One puff from the big bad Fascist wolf and Futrelle is blown the fuck out along with his wall of framed cat pictures.

Ok, first off, the houses that the big bad wolf blew away were made of straw and sticks, respectively, not sand. Seriously, dude. Preschoolers know this.

Second, I’m really not quite sure why my fondness for cats gets these dudes so mad, but let’s see if I can give a few of them heart attacks with this lil picture I made with the help of Dreamscopeapp.com.

No one knows what it’s like, to be the bad man, to be the sad man, behind blue kitten eyes

Striker ends his post, somewhat unexpectedly, by asking you ladies reading this for a date:

And by the way David, since I know you’re reading this, just know that all the women who comment on your website would rather sleep with a misogynistic, muscular and dominant “Neo-Nazi” who berates them over you.

Ok, ladies, form a line on the (far) right!

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Robert Walker-Smith
Robert Walker-Smith
3 years ago

Alan Robertshaw – I’m sure the idea of facing a confident opponent at only 3-1 odds made Dirk Evinrude* wet himself.

And Buckfast Tonic Wine stains something awful. . .

*Chet Sarsenstone, Biff Hardcase and Grabpot Thundergust were unavailable for comment.

Falconer
Falconer
3 years ago

@mildlymagnificent, it’s a page late, but condolences and ((((hugs)))) !

Alan Robertshaw
Alan Robertshaw
3 years ago

@ Robert

Before I went for this I did consult with various appropriately qualified friends. They were very approving. Seemed like half the IDF wanted in on it. But they did say that either the Nazis got taken down a peg, or they ended up with a video of me getting my ass handed to me by a bunch of 15 year olds. So either way it was a win-win.

Funny how unifying this was though. We had a little Facebook message group going about it. At one stage we had an ISM Muslim guy with a “Free Palestine” flag avatar chatting merrily with an ex member of the Shin Beth.

That’s what I find amusing about the alt-right’s obsession with some race war after they’ve antagonised everybody. Do they know nothing about history and coalitions?

You’d think they’d have at least heard of WW2 and the alliance between Europe, the US, Russia and China etc, including stuff like the French communists working (more or less) with the Gaullists.

Mind you, they don’t even know the history of the Wolfenstein video game, so maybe I shouldn’t be surprised.

mz emoji riesling
mz emoji riesling
3 years ago

Ivory Bill–
I might almost sleep with

Umlaut Studwell

just for, as they say, the lulz.
(Your other suggestions are pretty good, too. Have you ever thought of becoming a professional aliasist?)

Nikki the Bluth Wannabe
Nikki the Bluth Wannabe
3 years ago

@mildlymagnificent
I just found out about your mom’s death when I checked my email, and I send my condolences.

JS
JS
3 years ago

@Alan, That post and their responses went about as I expected. “Claim poster is beta”, then decide you moved the goalposts by telling them the posted links didn’t support the point, followed by telling you go back here if you want to get beaten up. And also, they’re better at it (violence) than us. And that’s from the purported author.

Oh, and us male feminists are only in it for the pity sex. Seriously?

Lovely people, aren’t they {/s}

Pr0tocolsrReal for Pr3sident of “Book Club”, eh?

And how dare we not discuss the posted article topic, and instead post about cats! It’s like we’re just not understanding how logical and thorough they are, and not respecting the wonderful text of the righteous.

Alexa rank? Who actually cares about that these days, aside from some internet Nazis. In fact, either my router blocks alexa, or my hosts table does, so it’s undercounting anyway.

eta beta pi.

Posted this in the wrong thread earlier(the one for personal issues, sigh), expanded on it a bit, and reposted here, apologies if you’ve seen most of it before.

Dalillama: Irate Social Engineer

Boss’ Spouse will be ok.

JS
JS
3 years ago

@PeeVee, the “browser check” they do, is from having their site “DDoS protected” by Cloudflare.

It comes even through the donotlink URL, because you’re still going to the DS’s website. dontlink just prevents google from thinking there’s a link between here and DS, in theory keeping down the other site’s Google Pagerank.

Whether cloudflare actually protects websites from real DDoS attacks or not is a very technical discussion.

PaganReader - Misandrist Spinster

@Dali
Yay for good news!
@MildlyMagnificent
I’m sorry about your mom

Axecalibur: Middle Name Danger
Axecalibur: Middle Name Danger
3 years ago

@Dali
Wooot!

KatieKitten420
KatieKitten420
3 years ago

@Dali, Fran

Dali, I’m glad your boss and their spouse will be ok. My mom passed out at work one day years ago. It was just mild heatstroke, but it was terrifying at first. Also, I wanted to read your story, but I forgot until now because I’m a pothead. If it’s too late, I’m sorry and somewhat disappointed, but if it’s not I would still love to read it if you remind me how to do so.

@Fran
We’re both New York City liberals and I’ve noticed it’s pretty common in NYC for liberals to be scared of guns and not want to be near them. We don’t grow up with any hunting culture or anything, so usually guns only do bad things from what we see and hear personally since the gun laws are so incredibly strict here. Which I think is a good thing, but it means we don’t get much experience around them for the most part which makes them even scarier.
My boyfriend wants me to at least know how to use one but I don’t really want to. They terrify me and even if I was in a crazy situation(abducted is an example he gave)I don’t know if I’d be able to use one.

Francesca Torpedo, Femoid Special Forces Major
Francesca Torpedo, Femoid Special Forces Major
3 years ago

@MildlyMagnificent

Now that I have a moment to actually sit down and respond: please, feel free to talk to me if you need someone. As someone who has also had family members close to them die, I understand how awful this must be for you and I really am sorry about it.

@Katie

I’d be more than happy to teach you how to do the thing properly, in that case.

Your attitude is the right one to have. They are dangerous devices that are intended to take the life of a living creature. They should command fear from those around them.

I handle firearms and enjoy shooting them, but I am, in fact, slightly afraid of them on a subconscious level. It is similar to my reaction around cars; while I enjoy driving and am an excellent, professional driver, having been in car accidents while other people were driving has also made me hate and fear cars a little.

Mind you, I still want to get an impressive stable of sports cars once I sort my life out, and would like to be an amateur circuit racer/drifter still. I just don’t innocently like cars anymore like I did when I was a child; I am harshly aware that they can end people’s lives in a single stroke.

If I might be allowed to wax poetical, probably because of my psychedelic drug use, I look at a car and see a vicious, crouching beast with a mouth full of sharp chrome teeth; it is hunched over its tires as though it is excited to bite down on a warm human body and devour it whole. I can’t shake off that feeling. At the same time, it’s exciting; I’m not sure why I feel this way, if it’s just an innate wish to die or if I enjoy raw thrills, but I like risking my life against these huge steel beasts; I get into the driver’s seat aware of my need to control this mechanical monstrosity, and get great joy out of seducing the car into doing my will.

Same with firearms. I like the danger they pose. It’s fun.

Dalillama: Irate Social Engineer

@Katie

Also, I wanted to read your story, but I forgot until now because I’m a pothead. If it’s too late, I’m sorry and somewhat disappointed, but if it’s not I would still love to read it if you remind me how to do so.

Well, I already sent it in, but I’m happy to send you a link anyway. The link in my nym should go to discord, where I use the same nym, or the same nym again @gmx.us

My boyfriend wants me to at least know how to use one but I don’t really want to. They terrify me and even if I was in a crazy situation(abducted is an example he gave)I don’t know if I’d be able to use one.

Despite the wanking of gun-fondlers*, firearms aren’t actually much use for personal defence, particularly in an urban environment. You’d do better with a taser or mace. A knife or extendable baton are also good, but need more training to be useful.

EDIT: *Not a dig at you,Fran. I refer to the NRAssholes and militia wannabes who infest US politics

opposablethumbs
opposablethumbs
3 years ago

@Dali, I’m glad to hear that your boss’ spouse will be OK. That must have been frightening all round, to say the least.

Long time ago I used to do a tiny bit of target shooting (really a tiny bit; all quite strictly controlled over here, as you know) and I was getting not too bad at it. Best moment was when hanging out with a later boyfriend in another country where it’s not quite so strictly controlled, and we had a friendly competition with paper targets in a field on a farm; I beat him quite handily (and it was his gun, too). He was surprisingly surprised …
(he was pretty but a bit too macho; we didn’t go out for long)

zblongladder
zblongladder
3 years ago

@David Futrelle

You’d think the repeated references to the “cuck boi”‘s sexual prowess and the picture of a dreamy guy with a Bernie logo photoshopped on his chest would’ve been enough, but apparently Nazis are so insecure that they can’t imagine the word “cuck” being used ironically.

PeeVee the (Timber-Rattling Booger Slut, But Noice) Sarcastic
PeeVee the (Timber-Rattling Booger Slut, But Noice) Sarcastic
3 years ago

Dali,

Glad the boss’s spouse will be okay.

JS,

Thank you for taking the time to answer me.

Redsilkphoenix: Jetpack Vixen, Agent of the FemiNest Collective; Keeper of a Hell Toupee, and all-around Intergalactic Meanie
Redsilkphoenix: Jetpack Vixen, Agent of the FemiNest Collective; Keeper of a Hell Toupee, and all-around Intergalactic Meanie
3 years ago

Clicked on the link Alan provided to read for myself the challenge he proposed to the Neonazis, then clicked on a headline about ’90 year-old War Vetran Killed by Google’ because I was curious to see how this guy was killed by the search engine.

……

Uhm, since when did ‘google’ become a slang term for ‘black guy/criminal’? And why?

Or is this something I really don’t want to know?

(Returns to reading rest of thread.)

Francesca Torpedo, Femoid Special Forces Major
Francesca Torpedo, Femoid Special Forces Major
3 years ago

@Dali

Not at all! I know what you meant; these people you describe who use long, thick, hard black guns as penis replacements, and have a gun fetish and grow sexually aroused around them.

I think we both know I come with my own equipment and don’t need to compensate with external items like guns. 😉

@RedsilkPhoenix

https://qz.com/798305/alt-right-trolls-are-using-googles-yahoos-skittles-and-skypes-as-code-words-for-racial-slurs-on-twitter/

Check it out: the Alt-Reich have coined their own jargon for black people and jewish people. It’s gross and disgusting, as you imagined.

dslucia
dslucia
3 years ago

Wow, I’m actually amazed that he seriously said the phrase “cuck boi”. I’ve been sarcastically saying that people the alt-right doesn’t like would be considered that for the past few weeks, but I didn’t think they would actually start using it.

Grace of Spades
Grace of Spades
3 years ago

I’m late catching up on posts again, but it’s interesting that a random Nazi is claiming all the women who comment here want to date him. I was sure we were all hairy and butch feminists who want all men to die after we had them build everything for us. Nazi-dude, don’t you lose aryan points if a Latina likes you, even secretly? Where the hell are my bon-bons?

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