By David Futrelle
Fellas! Be careful around ladies lest they hypnotize you into liking them with their hair. Yes, that’s right. I said hair.
Absorb this hard-won wisdom, coming to you from one very wise fellow in the Men Going Their Own Way subreddit who is today’s MGTOW of the Day:
Seriously. look at these hideous monsters. Eww!
Sorry, I forgot what my point was.
Upgrade the misogyny to misogynoir, and this is literally the plot of a Lovecraft story. The Medusa’s Coil, I think it was called?
Feral Crone:
Nothing wrong with being a virgin.
Lysistrata:
Here! *produces another fan; hands it to Lysistrata*
What about this female alien?
http://i.imgur.com/I2QvLHn.jpg
@PeeVee
Yeah, I was about to remark something along the lines of how virgin-shaming is not really the done thing around here, but you beat me to it.
Plus, you know me – I’m all for a good joke or two and was willing to write it off as just being an off-color jollity for a second. I’m sure they weren’t in earnest, but yeah, might want to not do that, Crone. It’s kinda gross.
Here’s a beautiful long haired man gif selected for maximum MGTOW tears
Holy shit, is that Lestat?
http://i.imgur.com/LbXIr.gif
@Fran
Close. Tom Cruise played Lestat. That is Brad Pitt, who played Louis. I believe that gif is from Interview with a Vampire, though.
Source: Was a 90’s teen.
@Kupo
Ah, that makes sense. I knew it was from that movie.
My mother showed it to me when I was a kid in the 1990s.
I remember being fascinated by the homoerotic undertones but, given the aggressively cisgendered and heterosexual household I was in, I had nobody to explain it to me properly.
The gif is from Legends of the Fall.
@WWTH
World War 1 period drama, eh?
How did you know I like that sort of thing? I’ll have to examine this closely now. Thank you very much!
Like Frieda of Peanuts, I know firsthand that naturally curly hair is quite a responsibility.
And it has supernatural qualities. Thanks to this MGTOW, I now know that all women’s hair — straight as well as curly — has supernatural qualities. Thanks, little MGTOW!
My hair is also fine and flyaway. Until I was seven, my hair was never cut, so it was thick and hung down my back. For years I wondered why I didn’t remember my long hair as being flyaway. Then I saw an old photo of myself. My mother had controlled my hair with one, two, three, four barrettes on each side of my my head — eight total. Question answered.
WWTH,
Ah, yes. Brad Pitt. The man trolls from yesteryear insisted was the Mammother’s ideal. (Looking at you, MRAL and Slavey)
Fran,
IWTV, and most all of Anne Rice’s work, had a LOT of homoerotic undertones to them. It was a hallmark of hers.
PeeVee, they speak the truth.
Brad Pitt is the Mammotheers’ heartthrob.
Sigh.
@PeeVee-senpai
A few years ago I rewatched IWTV and was struck by how obvious it was, but back when I was a very small Fran nobody had thought to explain to me that it was possible for men to love other men.
So I recall understanding that there was a relationship between these two, and being fascinated by it, but I didn’t know what it was called.
I envy these kids I read about nowadays who know about same-sex relationships at a young age. I was kept in the dark about it for quite a shockingly long time.
@Francesca
It’s amazing how many things can go over your head as a kid but then get it as an adult. Rewatching old episodes of SpongeBob is definitely interesting for me just trying to catch the subtle adult innuendo.
@Checkmate
I’m AroAce, so I’d turn you down (gently). I’d pretty much just want to look at you and your hair.?
Good lord, the beautiful people photos in this post, and then in the comments…
I’m just going to pop another one in here. Sadly deceased but an old favourite of mine:
L, who was my friend, once shaved half her head:
“You shaved half your head,” said I.
“Uh-huh. I wanted to shave the whole thing, but… you know.* Hey, guess where else I shaved,” she said.
Me, turning bright red: “Um… where?”
She leans in close to whisper in my ear: “Nowhere!”
Pulling off her over-shirt, she dances away with her arms over her head, laughing like a supervillain as she races off around the fire. Indeed, her armpits are hirsute.
She invites me to dance, which I do. Badly. She assists me, that I might dance pretty. She is not noticeably successful. Nonetheless, a good time is had by all.
That was fifteen years ago; I was 17, L was 18. It’s odd that I think of her so often when I read this site, but every time I read a post like this, I think, “Wow, this jackass would think L was a monster,” and chuckle a bit. From where she chose to shave to her knuckledusters, she would have been the Antichrist to fools like EndlessPontification. Then I get a bit sad, because I know she’d have had a good laugh, too. Perhaps even a supervillain laugh.
/reminiscence
*We’d been having some trouble with neo-Nazi skinheads; thus did we white folks of N’s (N being another friend, the leader of our totally-legitimate social group, and someone with zero patience for Nazis of any stripe) group avoid certain grooming choices. Non-white friends, like C, were free to be free from their hair. He could really pull it off, too. I’m not at all jealous, now that my hair has gone from receding into an all-out rout…
@Pagan, I’m fine with that. X3 I just keep my hair long cause if it’s short I look like I’m from the south in the bad way. Which I am, but still, not something I advertise around.
Damn! And to think I’ve been depriving myself of all the Sexy Hairhypnopowwas that could have been available to me if I’d grown out my hair. I could have had men drooling after me and my marvelous waves of hair topping plump little me. I never knew. As it is I’ve tragically crippled myself of my full potential by keeping it to two inches. Alas, alas. I have barely enough combined with my zombifying vagina goo to keep my husband mindless and compliant.
Or maybe these whiny ding-dongs as usual are absolving themselves of all responsibility for their actions and reactions and blaming their favorite targets for them. That seems more likely.
Frankly, though, having thick, fine, and naturally wavy hair that grows quickly means I’m a matter of days from ‘looks okay’ to ‘drain clog’ if I’m not careful. It also means that in a warm environment that I feel every damn degree of temperature once my hair starts getting out of control because it insulates so well. Yeccch.
Also I’m a lazy lil’ son/ daughter of a goat so I just can’t be arsed with more upkeep than running a comb through it once or twice a day a couple of times and while it’s short it looks pretty good. It’s when it’s long… it grows up. Not down. I’m pretty sure with a few months and enough humidity I could do a pretty good Jimi Hendrix impersonation– only short, overweight, white, cis female and not nearly as cool. Can’t play a guitar either.
@Kat:
‘nother Frieda here, although my fine, weightless hair didn’t turn curly/frizzy/I dunno what the hell happened to it, fill in the blanks here — until we moved to Southern Ontario (which is holy-shit humid) and I hit puberty the same year (I turned 10; I started growing boobs AND my hair started going out of control at the same time). Before that, it was just loosely wavy, and when my mom put it in ponytails, she’d just brush the tails ’round her hand to make one nice, big, fat, well-behaved curl that stayed put all day. (I was a very quiet, also-well-behaved kid, so it never had a chance to get messed up.)
Since this happened during the era of Farrah Fawcett’s feathered wings, you can imagine how traumatic that was for young, desperate-to-fit-in me. I spent over a decade trying to straighten my hair with various hot torture devices, to no avail. I sampled every conditioner on the market and found out the hard way that they are all shit, in a thin wrapper of hype. I alternately fought my hair and gave up on it in disgust.
Finally, in my early 20s, I went for a chemical straightening. For two glorious weeks, I had the perfectly straight, glossy hair of my dreams. Then it started to bend again, then it curled, then it frizzed, and then it BROKE. I was picking and snipping horrendous split ends, the first real ones I’d ever had, out of it for three years thereafter. Not until the chemical damage was thoroughly grown out did I finally have reasonably healthy (if still incorrigibly frizzy) hair again. When silicone anti-frizz products came on the market, I bought them all with hope and gratitude, only to be disappointed all over again when my wily hair found its way around all that and refused to play nice.
It sucked, it sucks, it will never stop sucking. But I did learn one valuable lesson: It does NOT pay to fight curly hair.
How does losing one’s hair cause autism?
@Jurgan
The same way Vaccines cause autism, they don’t.