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Women are secret uggoes who lure men to their doom with their hair, MGTOW explains

Never doubt the power of lady hair

By David Futrelle

Fellas! Be careful around ladies lest they hypnotize you into liking them with their hair. Yes, that’s right. I said hair.

Absorb this hard-won wisdom, coming to you from one very wise fellow in the Men Going Their Own Way subreddit who is today’s MGTOW of the Day:

EndlessPontification 9 points 16 days ago And the only reason you want to fuck women is because of your own bio-chemistry and their hair. Women aren't even good-looking, and they know it. It's literally all in their hair. If all women suddenly went bald, nobody would give two fucks about them except the thirstiest of the thirsty. You can have the hottest woman alive, and the second she goes bald, she becomes an autistic freak.

Seriously. look at these hideous monsters. Eww!

Sorry, I forgot what my point was.

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Bakunin
Bakunin
3 years ago

Upgrade the misogyny to misogynoir, and this is literally the plot of a Lovecraft story. The Medusa’s Coil, I think it was called?

PeeVee the (Timber-Rattling Booger Slut, But Noice) Sarcastic
PeeVee the (Timber-Rattling Booger Slut, But Noice) Sarcastic
3 years ago

Feral Crone:

Nothing wrong with being a virgin.

Lysistrata:

Here! *produces another fan; hands it to Lysistrata*

JS
JS
3 years ago

What about this female alien?
http://i.imgur.com/I2QvLHn.jpg

Francesca Torpedo, Femoid Special Forces Major
Francesca Torpedo, Femoid Special Forces Major
3 years ago

@PeeVee

Yeah, I was about to remark something along the lines of how virgin-shaming is not really the done thing around here, but you beat me to it.

Plus, you know me – I’m all for a good joke or two and was willing to write it off as just being an off-color jollity for a second. I’m sure they weren’t in earnest, but yeah, might want to not do that, Crone. It’s kinda gross.

weirwoodtreehugger: chief manatee

Here’s a beautiful long haired man gif selected for maximum MGTOW tears

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Francesca Torpedo, Femoid Special Forces Major
Francesca Torpedo, Femoid Special Forces Major
3 years ago

Holy shit, is that Lestat?

Axecalibur: Middle Name Danger
Axecalibur: Middle Name Danger
3 years ago
kupo
kupo
3 years ago

@Fran

Holy shit, is that Lestat?

Close. Tom Cruise played Lestat. That is Brad Pitt, who played Louis. I believe that gif is from Interview with a Vampire, though.

Source: Was a 90’s teen.

Francesca Torpedo, Femoid Special Forces Major
Francesca Torpedo, Femoid Special Forces Major
3 years ago

@Kupo

Ah, that makes sense. I knew it was from that movie.

My mother showed it to me when I was a kid in the 1990s.

I remember being fascinated by the homoerotic undertones but, given the aggressively cisgendered and heterosexual household I was in, I had nobody to explain it to me properly.

weirwoodtreehugger: chief manatee

The gif is from Legends of the Fall.

Francesca Torpedo, Femoid Special Forces Major
Francesca Torpedo, Femoid Special Forces Major
3 years ago

@WWTH

World War 1 period drama, eh?

How did you know I like that sort of thing? I’ll have to examine this closely now. Thank you very much!

Kat, ambassador of the feminist government in exile
Kat, ambassador of the feminist government in exile
3 years ago

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Kat, ambassador of the feminist government in exile
Kat, ambassador of the feminist government in exile
3 years ago

comment image

Like Frieda of Peanuts, I know firsthand that naturally curly hair is quite a responsibility.

And it has supernatural qualities. Thanks to this MGTOW, I now know that all women’s hair — straight as well as curly — has supernatural qualities. Thanks, little MGTOW!

My hair is also fine and flyaway. Until I was seven, my hair was never cut, so it was thick and hung down my back. For years I wondered why I didn’t remember my long hair as being flyaway. Then I saw an old photo of myself. My mother had controlled my hair with one, two, three, four barrettes on each side of my my head — eight total. Question answered.

PeeVee the (Timber-Rattling Booger Slut, But Noice) Sarcastic
PeeVee the (Timber-Rattling Booger Slut, But Noice) Sarcastic
3 years ago

WWTH,

Ah, yes. Brad Pitt. The man trolls from yesteryear insisted was the Mammother’s ideal. (Looking at you, MRAL and Slavey)

Fran,

IWTV, and most all of Anne Rice’s work, had a LOT of homoerotic undertones to them. It was a hallmark of hers.

Kat, ambassador of the feminist government in exile
Kat, ambassador of the feminist government in exile
3 years ago

PeeVee, they speak the truth.

Brad Pitt is the Mammotheers’ heartthrob.comment image

Sigh.

Francesca Torpedo, Femoid Special Forces Major
Francesca Torpedo, Femoid Special Forces Major
3 years ago

@PeeVee-senpai

A few years ago I rewatched IWTV and was struck by how obvious it was, but back when I was a very small Fran nobody had thought to explain to me that it was possible for men to love other men.

So I recall understanding that there was a relationship between these two, and being fascinated by it, but I didn’t know what it was called.

I envy these kids I read about nowadays who know about same-sex relationships at a young age. I was kept in the dark about it for quite a shockingly long time.

Buffalo Headroom (it doesn't have to make sense)

@Francesca

It’s amazing how many things can go over your head as a kid but then get it as an adult. Rewatching old episodes of SpongeBob is definitely interesting for me just trying to catch the subtle adult innuendo.

PaganReader - Misandrist Spinster

@Checkmate
I’m AroAce, so I’d turn you down (gently). I’d pretty much just want to look at you and your hair.😂

Mish of the Catlady Ascendancy
Mish of the Catlady Ascendancy
3 years ago

Good lord, the beautiful people photos in this post, and then in the comments…
I’m just going to pop another one in here. Sadly deceased but an old favourite of mine:

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Vucodlak
Vucodlak
3 years ago

L, who was my friend, once shaved half her head:

“You shaved half your head,” said I.

“Uh-huh. I wanted to shave the whole thing, but… you know.* Hey, guess where else I shaved,” she said.

Me, turning bright red: “Um… where?”

She leans in close to whisper in my ear: “Nowhere!”

Pulling off her over-shirt, she dances away with her arms over her head, laughing like a supervillain as she races off around the fire. Indeed, her armpits are hirsute.

She invites me to dance, which I do. Badly. She assists me, that I might dance pretty. She is not noticeably successful. Nonetheless, a good time is had by all.

That was fifteen years ago; I was 17, L was 18. It’s odd that I think of her so often when I read this site, but every time I read a post like this, I think, “Wow, this jackass would think L was a monster,” and chuckle a bit. From where she chose to shave to her knuckledusters, she would have been the Antichrist to fools like EndlessPontification. Then I get a bit sad, because I know she’d have had a good laugh, too. Perhaps even a supervillain laugh.

/reminiscence

*We’d been having some trouble with neo-Nazi skinheads; thus did we white folks of N’s (N being another friend, the leader of our totally-legitimate social group, and someone with zero patience for Nazis of any stripe) group avoid certain grooming choices. Non-white friends, like C, were free to be free from their hair. He could really pull it off, too. I’m not at all jealous, now that my hair has gone from receding into an all-out rout…

Checkmate
Checkmate
3 years ago

@Pagan, I’m fine with that. X3 I just keep my hair long cause if it’s short I look like I’m from the south in the bad way. Which I am, but still, not something I advertise around.

Banananana dakry: Fat, Short-Haired, and Deranged
Banananana dakry: Fat, Short-Haired, and Deranged
3 years ago

Damn! And to think I’ve been depriving myself of all the Sexy Hairhypnopowwas that could have been available to me if I’d grown out my hair. I could have had men drooling after me and my marvelous waves of hair topping plump little me. I never knew. As it is I’ve tragically crippled myself of my full potential by keeping it to two inches. Alas, alas. I have barely enough combined with my zombifying vagina goo to keep my husband mindless and compliant.

Or maybe these whiny ding-dongs as usual are absolving themselves of all responsibility for their actions and reactions and blaming their favorite targets for them. That seems more likely.

Frankly, though, having thick, fine, and naturally wavy hair that grows quickly means I’m a matter of days from ‘looks okay’ to ‘drain clog’ if I’m not careful. It also means that in a warm environment that I feel every damn degree of temperature once my hair starts getting out of control because it insulates so well. Yeccch.

Also I’m a lazy lil’ son/ daughter of a goat so I just can’t be arsed with more upkeep than running a comb through it once or twice a day a couple of times and while it’s short it looks pretty good. It’s when it’s long… it grows up. Not down. I’m pretty sure with a few months and enough humidity I could do a pretty good Jimi Hendrix impersonation– only short, overweight, white, cis female and not nearly as cool. Can’t play a guitar either.

Bina
3 years ago

@Kat:

Like Frieda of Peanuts, I know firsthand that naturally curly hair is quite a responsibility.

And it has supernatural qualities. Thanks to this MGTOW, I now know that all women’s hair — straight as well as curly — has supernatural qualities. Thanks, little MGTOW!

My hair is also fine and flyaway. Until I was seven, my hair was never cut, so it was thick and hung down my back. For years I wondered why I didn’t remember my long hair as being flyaway. Then I saw an old photo of myself. My mother had controlled my hair with one, two, three, four barrettes on each side of my my head — eight total. Question answered.

‘nother Frieda here, although my fine, weightless hair didn’t turn curly/frizzy/I dunno what the hell happened to it, fill in the blanks here — until we moved to Southern Ontario (which is holy-shit humid) and I hit puberty the same year (I turned 10; I started growing boobs AND my hair started going out of control at the same time). Before that, it was just loosely wavy, and when my mom put it in ponytails, she’d just brush the tails ’round her hand to make one nice, big, fat, well-behaved curl that stayed put all day. (I was a very quiet, also-well-behaved kid, so it never had a chance to get messed up.)

Since this happened during the era of Farrah Fawcett’s feathered wings, you can imagine how traumatic that was for young, desperate-to-fit-in me. I spent over a decade trying to straighten my hair with various hot torture devices, to no avail. I sampled every conditioner on the market and found out the hard way that they are all shit, in a thin wrapper of hype. I alternately fought my hair and gave up on it in disgust.

Finally, in my early 20s, I went for a chemical straightening. For two glorious weeks, I had the perfectly straight, glossy hair of my dreams. Then it started to bend again, then it curled, then it frizzed, and then it BROKE. I was picking and snipping horrendous split ends, the first real ones I’d ever had, out of it for three years thereafter. Not until the chemical damage was thoroughly grown out did I finally have reasonably healthy (if still incorrigibly frizzy) hair again. When silicone anti-frizz products came on the market, I bought them all with hope and gratitude, only to be disappointed all over again when my wily hair found its way around all that and refused to play nice.

It sucked, it sucks, it will never stop sucking. But I did learn one valuable lesson: It does NOT pay to fight curly hair.

Jurgan
3 years ago

How does losing one’s hair cause autism?

Ooglyboggles
Ooglyboggles
3 years ago

@Jurgan
The same way Vaccines cause autism, they don’t.

Fishy Goat
Fishy Goat
3 years ago

*ded from all the pics of amazing women*
*looks again*
*ded from all the wonderful manly long hair*

Sheesh, you guys! 🙂

Matteo Suppo
Matteo Suppo
3 years ago

Women aren’t attractive. That’s true. It’s all in their internal organs. Without them they look like floppy sacks of skins. Also they die.

Steampunked
Steampunked
3 years ago

@Jurgan – Anything that doesn’t thrill this guy must be AVOIDED for the sake of other people’s HEALTH. He just CARES you know?!

JS
JS
3 years ago

To this guy, anything different from “cis hetero female with hair” probably seems to be “autistic” (‘e clearly doesn’t understand much about real people, “autistic” or otherwise)

Francesca Torpedo, Femoid Special Forces Major
Francesca Torpedo, Femoid Special Forces Major
3 years ago

My hair is long, soft, and fluffy. It is black and glossy and lush.

Yes, fear my evil and powerful hair, manospherians! I am, actually, cognizant of his bewitching and magical it is.

I maintain its health by carefully washing it, combing it, brushing it, and feeding it lots of nutritious hair creme so it remains glossy and fabulous. I am very proud of it. It’s definitely what makes me more beautiful.

That manuresphere dude is right. It’s one of the sources of my evil enchantress powers.

KatieKitten420
KatieKitten420
3 years ago

OMG! Everyone decided to put up pictures of what I’m specifically attracted to! I love chicks with shaved heads or any really short cut and guys with long hair because firstly, they’re just super fucking hot and also I love people who look androgynous (David Bowie anyone?)The pic of the guy with the long brown shading to greenish aqua hair almost gave me a heart attack because he is beyond hot. There is no word for people who look that good.

KatieKitten420
KatieKitten420
3 years ago

@Checkmate
Don’t be so down on yourself. You are from your description very similar-looking to my second high school boyfriend. Except he was heavier than you. He had hair that he could actually sit on by the time we’d been dating for 2 years. He was 6 feet 1, 275 lb, pale as milk with incredibly beautiful long chestnut brown hair. I thought he was totally adorable at the time. I’m not trying to claim he’s conventionally model gorgeous(that was my first high school boyfriend and yeah, that didn’t work out well at all)but people do claim I’m conventionally attractive( I did a little bullshit modeling when I was a teenager.)So don’t assume girls won’t find you attractive. Maybe some really do and you haven’t spoken to those girls, so you never found out.

Arctic Ape
Arctic Ape
3 years ago

IgnoreSandra:

In a lot of cases, abusive men forcibly shave women as a mark of ownership.

I didn’t know that, but I did know that shaving has been a historical humiliation punishment for women in particular. It’s pretty clear that EndlessPontification picked that up from somewhere and now cannot stop fantasizing about shaving women.

Sailor LeadDragonite
Sailor LeadDragonite
3 years ago

Funny, I’m just as autistic with my hair at my shoulder-blades as I was with it down to my arse. These guys really are clueless, aren’t they.

Would have posted a longer thought on this, but I’m off to my craft group in about 15mins, and after that I’ve got cooking. We’re making mixed fruit crumble and custard!

(Please let the teacher have been able to afford black cherries, please let the teacher have been able to afford black cherries…)

lkeke35
lkeke35
3 years ago

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Don’t know if anybody put this one up yet, but this is what I thought after seeing that headline!

Alan Robertshaw
Alan Robertshaw
3 years ago

@ sailor leaddragonite

We’re making mixed fruit crumble and custard!

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Arctic Ape
Arctic Ape
3 years ago

Apparently, “autistic freak” is a new slang term for saying that someone looks weird and unattractive, possibly because of their body language (hence the autism connection?), or possibly because of their grooming or clothes or facial features or whatever.

Likewise, it was mentioned in another thread that “autistic screeching” is a new slang term for someone “losing their shit” or possibly just expressing strong disagreement.

I guess in the long run the a-word might become the new r-word, unfortunately.

lkeke35
lkeke35
3 years ago

Oh sorry,
the above gif is from Mars Attacks and is a perfect illustration of the headline of this post. Watch the movie. It’s gross and hilarious.

Alan Robertshaw
Alan Robertshaw
3 years ago

@ artic ape

I guess in the long run the a-word might become the new r-word, unfortunately.

Yup. Our incel friends (and presumably others of that ilk) use ‘autistic’ as a generic epithet. Not just for people but also for things and concepts (eg “The Star Wars prequels are really autistic”)

YV
YV
3 years ago

“autistic” has been used as an insult for years now. In high school kids used it all the time to mean “weird, anti-social loner”
It’s really terrible

@kupa Oh God, those pictures… Be still, my heart!
I absolutely love men with long hair. Every time I’m at a metal concert I feel like a kid at a candy store

Nanny Ogg's Bosom (Formerly LostInLindsey)
Nanny Ogg's Bosom (Formerly LostInLindsey)
3 years ago

Just as autistic with short hair as with long. And I’m dying from all the lovely shaven-headed ladies and long-haired men.

occasional reader
occasional reader
3 years ago

Hello.

Well, i guess he mistakes “Love is in the air” and “Love is in the hair”.
I love all kind of hair style, but i find them more attractive when they are attached (bun(s), tails, braids, you name it) on other people (i prefer mine very short).

Have a nice day.

Banananana dakry
Banananana dakry
3 years ago

@Bina

Fellow frizzmeisters represent. Mine’s the same way, and the curls won. So I try to whack the shit out of them and then ignore them as much as possible.

Then I get the people that say they want my hair when I want straighter hair. Grass is always greener, I guess.

EJ (the Scheming Liberal Race-Traitor)

I’m not surprised that people use “austistic” as an insult. Allegedly, children are using “refugee” as an insult nowadays.

Does anyone know of any term which is used to Other people, which hasn’t gradually lost its meaning and become a general-purpose insult?

Buffalo Headroom (it doesn't have to make sense)

@EJ

I’m just going top assume every word in the English language will become an insult at some point.

Dormousing_it
Dormousing_it
3 years ago

Oh, hair. Having read all the comments, I just have to reminisce:

When I was around 10 years old, some 40 years ago, my mother forced me to have my hair thinned. She wasn’t going to fork over the funds to have it done in a hair salon, not her. She took me to a barbershop in a Sheraton hotel.

After a session with the thinning shears, my fine, straight, but very thick hair was extremely bristly and flyaway. I think jealousy was what motivated my mother, and not much else. I probably have three times as much hair as she does.

ChimericMind
ChimericMind
3 years ago

EJ: Perhaps the most basic ones, like “outsider”. Then again, when I see that word, I start thinking in D&D terms, and think “maybe it’s not a bad idea to want to stay away from the Outsider”…

RosieLa
RosieLa
3 years ago

@ EJ – sounds like an updated version of “fresh off the boat” or FoB. Which tbh I’ve only ever heard the second generation kids say about their parents who are struggling with the culture in a way that their children aren’t. But I hang out with SJWs so what do I know?

Mish of the Catlady Ascendancy
Mish of the Catlady Ascendancy
3 years ago

@Buffalo Headroom,

@Francesca

It’s amazing how many things can go over your head as a kid but then get it as an adult. Rewatching old episodes of SpongeBob is definitely interesting for me just trying to catch the subtle adult innuendo.

Thank you! I feel so damn vindicated 😀

@Vucodlak,

Apologies if this is insensitive, but what happened to your friend? Your post is beautiful.

KatieKitten420
KatieKitten420
3 years ago

@dormousing-it
If I’m being nosey or intrusive, I apologize in advance. Sometimes I’m too forward with people I don’t know. I’m not brilliant with subtle social cues or subtle social proprieties.

If you don’t mind me asking, what racial group do you identify with? Because since I’m(half)black(and half white)and my hair is definitely from my black genes. I get my hair thinned as you called it(I call it a relaxer or a perm)3 times a year since I was in 4th grade. My hair is so thick naturally, it’s literally unmanageable. Like, I break combs off in my hair, it’s ridiculous. Relaxers have very strong chemicals that make your hair thinner. It’s only like $10 to buy a kit in the store, but now I go to the salon. How did a barber shop properly thin your hair out evenly? I do hair(not professionally, but for fun)so I’m curious if there’s a way to do it that I’m not aware of. Maybe it’s easier or something.

Thanks in advance if you respond, and again, I’m sorry if I was intrusive. Have a great day!😃