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Women are secret uggoes who lure men to their doom with their hair, MGTOW explains

Never doubt the power of lady hair

By David Futrelle

Fellas! Be careful around ladies lest they hypnotize you into liking them with their hair. Yes, that’s right. I said hair.

Absorb this hard-won wisdom, coming to you from one very wise fellow in the Men Going Their Own Way subreddit who is today’s MGTOW of the Day:

EndlessPontification 9 points 16 days ago And the only reason you want to fuck women is because of your own bio-chemistry and their hair. Women aren't even good-looking, and they know it. It's literally all in their hair. If all women suddenly went bald, nobody would give two fucks about them except the thirstiest of the thirsty. You can have the hottest woman alive, and the second she goes bald, she becomes an autistic freak.

Seriously. look at these hideous monsters. Eww!

Sorry, I forgot what my point was.

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Swedish Sexual Bread
Swedish Sexual Bread
3 years ago

I thought it was a guy, Samson, who’s root of power lay in his hair (if you’ll pardon the pun). I guess women have even stolen that from men now, soon we’ll all be living under an inevitably catastrophic matriarchal society where straight white men will literally be killed in the streets./s

Francesca Torpedo, Femoid Special Forces Major
Francesca Torpedo, Femoid Special Forces Major
3 years ago

@Swedish Sexual Bread

“Kill whitey,” Fran said, while racking her shotgun in a menacing fashion.

Nequam
Nequam
3 years ago

Wot, no Persia Khambatta?

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Slutty Miss Havisham Penguin
Slutty Miss Havisham Penguin
3 years ago

“Autistic Freak”?! Does he honestly think our hair has the ability to change our brains?!…. Does this mean we have Supernatural hair? Does it have any more talents? HAVE I BEEN USING MY HAIR WRONG ALL THESE YEARS?!

kupo
kupo
3 years ago

@Slutty Miss Havisham Penguin
This explains why my brain starts processing information differently every time I get a haircut, and why it’s more extreme when I cut more length. Yeah science, bitch!*

*This is a Breaking Bad quote and not aimed at you nor at any female canines. πŸ™‚

damoflances
3 years ago

Wow, all these years I thought I caught a man with meatloaf, turns out it was hair.

Ficus
Ficus
3 years ago

I think this guy might have a fetish. Has anyone explained to him that this is what a fetish is?

Alan Robertshaw
Alan Robertshaw
3 years ago

@ fran

β€œKill whitey,” Fran said, while racking her shotgun in a menacing fashion.

You’ve just reminded me of one of the many very funny bits from “Fear of A Black Hat”:

“It’s from our new album ‘Don’t Shoot Until You See The Whites'”
“Of their eyes?”
“Who’s eyes?”

Victorious Parasol
Victorious Parasol
3 years ago

My first fencing instructor got cancer (and eventually died from it). Shortly after she was diagnosed, she had an extreme haircut – basically a buzzcut all over – and had her formerly past-shoulder-length hair made into a wig. Not that I ever saw her wearing it.

She stayed mentally strong and smart until her last night in hospice, when her husband gave her permission to stop fighting because he couldn’t bear to see her in such distress any longer. He’s never remarried. She was that awesome a lady.

Bina
3 years ago

Woop woop, Persis Khambatta! The original bald beauty!

Honestly, if I looked as good without hair as all these barenaked ladies, I’d be flaunting my nude scalp right the fuck now, when it’s so humid here on the north shore of Lake Ontario, it could make broom straws curl up. Oddly enough, though, today my usually frizzy hair actually decided to behave, so I left it down to give the roots a rest…at least until suppertime, when I put it back in a pony just to keep it out of my frickin’ way.

As for the migtoes, who the hell cares. Aren’t they supposed to be ignoring us? Yet there they are, grousing and kvetching. Same as it ever was, same as it ever was…

Alan Robertshaw
Alan Robertshaw
3 years ago

@ slutty miss haversham

Danny: I don’t advise a haircut, man. All hairdressers are in the employment of the government. Hair are your aerials. They pick up signals from the cosmos, and transmit them directly into the brain. This is the reason bald-headed men are uptight.

fin
fin
3 years ago

Y u no has Sigourney Weaver in Alien 3? D:

Haise, the husky puppy
Haise, the husky puppy
3 years ago

Missed a few threads, hey guys!

Back to topic(s): the incel a few threads back bitterly believe all women are fuckable/attractive no matter their size. Here, this mgtow bitterly believe all women are ugly apart from their hair.

Β―\_(ツ)_/Β―

Cleon
Cleon
3 years ago

This makes no sense. Even if it were true that beauty is all in the hair, hair is part of your body. Hair isn’t some autonomous creature that just decides to settle on someone’s head. Even MGTOW’s dumb conclusions don’t follow from their stupid premises.

As a side note, that is a clumsy acronym.

Slutty Miss Havisham Penguin
Slutty Miss Havisham Penguin
3 years ago

@Alan Robertshaw
That explains why its such an anxious time for me to go to the hairdressers and why people who aren’t my close friends touching my hair gives me shudders…. Its not touch oversensitivity! It’s them literally disturbing my contact with the Force! (Also explains why I have a dog called Ewok!) πŸ˜€

Sylvia Daniella Foxglove
Sylvia Daniella Foxglove
3 years ago

Shit! He knows! My power to break men’s souls have diminished since I started losing hair!

AsAboveSoBelow
AsAboveSoBelow
3 years ago

Persis Khambatta was the first bald woman I thought of.

Iseult The Idle
Iseult The Idle
3 years ago

Grace Jones is gorgeous.

PeeVee the (Timber-Rattling Booger Slut, But Noice) Sarcastic
PeeVee the (Timber-Rattling Booger Slut, But Noice) Sarcastic
3 years ago

What whiny little wibbles, just making up shit to get pissy about.

guest
guest
3 years ago

‘Hair isn’t some autonomous creature that just decides to settle on someone’s head.’

Have you not seen D Trump then?

weirwoodtreehugger: chief manatee

Looks like this migtow is a secret Mean Girls fan

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opposablethumbs
opposablethumbs
3 years ago

@ Cleon

Hair isn’t some autonomous creature that just decides to settle on someone’s head.

ahem. I put it to you that the current usurper in the WH, aka the SCROTUS, provides evidence that this may not in fact be the case.

I did the glamorous shaved-head thing once (it was a moderately special occasion), it was pretty fun.

Heirloom Roses
Heirloom Roses
3 years ago

I just can’t.

Scented Fucking Hard Chairs
Scented Fucking Hard Chairs
3 years ago

This dope seems to have confused women with kelpies.

Ivory Bill Woodpecker
Ivory Bill Woodpecker
3 years ago

ALL GLORY TO THE HYPNOHAIR

Buffalo Headroom (it doesn't have to make sense)

Unfortunately I look like a skin-head whenever I shave my head.

Unfortunately my hair is curly and rough…so yeah my sucks ass.

PeeVee the (Timber-Rattling Booger Slut, But Noice) Sarcastic
PeeVee the (Timber-Rattling Booger Slut, But Noice) Sarcastic
3 years ago

@Kupo,

Oh, myyyyy. *fans herself*

Feral Crone
Feral Crone
3 years ago

5 dollars says he’s a virgin.

IgnoreSandra
IgnoreSandra
3 years ago

The second she goes bald, she becomes an autistic freak

So…we’re all a bizarre form of Rapunzel? Course, by this logic, as soon as I started growing my hair out, my autism would have vanished. Guess what, chucklefucks: I’m still an autist.

Also, pretty sure Charlize Theron was hot in the most recent Mad Max, and she had basically no hair in that movie. I have les-dar, I know a beautiful person when I see one. It helps me hide from them better.

Also, let’s talk about bald women.

In a lot of cases, abusive men forcibly shave women as a mark of ownership. So, this whole shit they are doing is multiple kinds of disingenuous since almost all migtoes are single cause they’re abusive fucks.

There’s also some women who have to shave for reasons, such as chemotherapy (Well, that or have their hair fall out. I’d choose to shave too). So let’s not mock people doing what they have to do.

So…these people are ableist, disingenuous fucks.

Hippielady (of the all powerful hair)
Hippielady (of the all powerful hair)
3 years ago

Wow, I must have ALL THE POWER since my hair goes down to my butt. I shall use it to enslave millions of migtoes. heh Not that it would do me any good. They’d whine so much I’d have to set them free just to give myself some peace.

Lysistrata
Lysistrata
3 years ago

@kupo, @Peevee
Holy doodle! *grabs the fan from Peevee*

Hippielady (of the all powerful hair)
Hippielady (of the all powerful hair)
3 years ago

@kupo Ohhh myyyyyyy

Lea
Lea
3 years ago

So, Amber Rose isn’t a hottie McHot-hot?

I know she is and my “biochemistry” doesn’t even lend itself to sexual attraction toward ladies.

What is this bizarre fixation these dudes have with Autistic people being bald?

How did that become a thing?

Are these creeps ever not the wrongest of wrong?

PaganReader - Misandrist Spinster

@Kupo: 😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍
I love men with long hair. Chubby/plump/fat men with long hair are even better. 😍

Checkmate
Checkmate
3 years ago

@pagan, I am single then, and I’ve got a deal for you~. I’ve got mid-back length curly hair, and I weigh about 230, Ladies~

Checkmate
Checkmate
3 years ago

Won’t let me edit, so in case it wasn’t obvious, I am joking about being seductive. I’m not that great looking, given my hair and 230 pounds of pale white nerd. X3

Francesca Torpedo, Femoid Special Forces Major
Francesca Torpedo, Femoid Special Forces Major
3 years ago

@Checkmate

You’ll do. Approach me.

Fran reclines luxuriously on a divan.

kupo
kupo
3 years ago

@Checkmate

I’m not that great looking, given my hair and 230 pounds of pale white nerd.

Sounds pretty attractive to me.

Grumblefloof
Grumblefloof
3 years ago

Let’s not forget Ani DiFranco’s first album cover.comment image?v=1339692189

Francesca Torpedo, Femoid Special Forces Major
Francesca Torpedo, Femoid Special Forces Major
3 years ago

@Kupo

I’d make a lewd joke about Checkmate’s finesse, but I’m gonna adhere to the comments policy and not do it.

Checkmate
Checkmate
3 years ago

@Fran, nah, you really don’t want to. X3 I have no such finesse. I’m actually pretty awful with people IRL

Checkmate
Checkmate
3 years ago

Of course, the potential lewd joke probably flew over my head. I tend to miss stuff like that.

Bina
3 years ago

@Haise:

Back to topic(s): the incel a few threads back bitterly believe all women are fuckable/attractive no matter their size. Here, this mgtow bitterly believe all women are ugly apart from their hair.

I wonder: if an incel and a migtoe shake hands, do they both dissolve in gamma rays, like matter and antimatter?

I propose a cage match of the idiot ideologies…it is literally the only way to find out!

Alan Robertshaw
Alan Robertshaw
3 years ago

@ bina

it is literally the only way to find out!

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weirwoodtreehugger: chief manatee

And here I thought that was an Abraham Lincoln quote.

Francesca Torpedo, Femoid Special Forces Major
Francesca Torpedo, Femoid Special Forces Major
3 years ago

@Checkmate

Despite my jokes about being a Goddess-Empress, you do not have to be the zenith of perfection to be with me. Don’t sell yourself so short!

Checkmate
Checkmate
3 years ago

@Fran, nah, I’m not selling myself short, trust me here. X3

Alan Robertshaw
Alan Robertshaw
3 years ago

They both probably ripped it off Morgan Freeman.

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