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Women are secret uggoes who lure men to their doom with their hair, MGTOW explains

Never doubt the power of lady hair

By David Futrelle

Fellas! Be careful around ladies lest they hypnotize you into liking them with their hair. Yes, that’s right. I said hair.

Absorb this hard-won wisdom, coming to you from one very wise fellow in the Men Going Their Own Way subreddit who is today’s MGTOW of the Day:

EndlessPontification 9 points 16 days ago And the only reason you want to fuck women is because of your own bio-chemistry and their hair. Women aren't even good-looking, and they know it. It's literally all in their hair. If all women suddenly went bald, nobody would give two fucks about them except the thirstiest of the thirsty. You can have the hottest woman alive, and the second she goes bald, she becomes an autistic freak.

Seriously. look at these hideous monsters. Eww!

Sorry, I forgot what my point was.

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Swedish Sexual Bread
Swedish Sexual Bread
7 years ago

I thought it was a guy, Samson, who’s root of power lay in his hair (if you’ll pardon the pun). I guess women have even stolen that from men now, soon we’ll all be living under an inevitably catastrophic matriarchal society where straight white men will literally be killed in the streets./s

Francesca Torpedo, Femoid Special Forces Major
Francesca Torpedo, Femoid Special Forces Major
7 years ago

@Swedish Sexual Bread

“Kill whitey,” Fran said, while racking her shotgun in a menacing fashion.

Nequam
Nequam
7 years ago

Wot, no Persia Khambatta?

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Slutty Miss Havisham Penguin
Slutty Miss Havisham Penguin
7 years ago

“Autistic Freak”?! Does he honestly think our hair has the ability to change our brains?!…. Does this mean we have Supernatural hair? Does it have any more talents? HAVE I BEEN USING MY HAIR WRONG ALL THESE YEARS?!

kupo
kupo
7 years ago

@Slutty Miss Havisham Penguin
This explains why my brain starts processing information differently every time I get a haircut, and why it’s more extreme when I cut more length. Yeah science, bitch!*

*This is a Breaking Bad quote and not aimed at you nor at any female canines. 🙂

damoflances
damoflances
7 years ago

Wow, all these years I thought I caught a man with meatloaf, turns out it was hair.

Ficus
Ficus
7 years ago

I think this guy might have a fetish. Has anyone explained to him that this is what a fetish is?

Alan Robertshaw
Alan Robertshaw
7 years ago

@ fran

“Kill whitey,” Fran said, while racking her shotgun in a menacing fashion.

You’ve just reminded me of one of the many very funny bits from “Fear of A Black Hat”:

“It’s from our new album ‘Don’t Shoot Until You See The Whites'”
“Of their eyes?”
“Who’s eyes?”

Victorious Parasol
Victorious Parasol
7 years ago

My first fencing instructor got cancer (and eventually died from it). Shortly after she was diagnosed, she had an extreme haircut – basically a buzzcut all over – and had her formerly past-shoulder-length hair made into a wig. Not that I ever saw her wearing it.

She stayed mentally strong and smart until her last night in hospice, when her husband gave her permission to stop fighting because he couldn’t bear to see her in such distress any longer. He’s never remarried. She was that awesome a lady.

Bina
Bina
7 years ago

Woop woop, Persis Khambatta! The original bald beauty!

Honestly, if I looked as good without hair as all these barenaked ladies, I’d be flaunting my nude scalp right the fuck now, when it’s so humid here on the north shore of Lake Ontario, it could make broom straws curl up. Oddly enough, though, today my usually frizzy hair actually decided to behave, so I left it down to give the roots a rest…at least until suppertime, when I put it back in a pony just to keep it out of my frickin’ way.

As for the migtoes, who the hell cares. Aren’t they supposed to be ignoring us? Yet there they are, grousing and kvetching. Same as it ever was, same as it ever was…

Alan Robertshaw
Alan Robertshaw
7 years ago

@ slutty miss haversham

Danny: I don’t advise a haircut, man. All hairdressers are in the employment of the government. Hair are your aerials. They pick up signals from the cosmos, and transmit them directly into the brain. This is the reason bald-headed men are uptight.

fin
fin
7 years ago

Y u no has Sigourney Weaver in Alien 3? D:

Haise, the husky puppy
Haise, the husky puppy
7 years ago

Missed a few threads, hey guys!

Back to topic(s): the incel a few threads back bitterly believe all women are fuckable/attractive no matter their size. Here, this mgtow bitterly believe all women are ugly apart from their hair.

¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Cleon
Cleon
7 years ago

This makes no sense. Even if it were true that beauty is all in the hair, hair is part of your body. Hair isn’t some autonomous creature that just decides to settle on someone’s head. Even MGTOW’s dumb conclusions don’t follow from their stupid premises.

As a side note, that is a clumsy acronym.

Slutty Miss Havisham Penguin
Slutty Miss Havisham Penguin
7 years ago

@Alan Robertshaw
That explains why its such an anxious time for me to go to the hairdressers and why people who aren’t my close friends touching my hair gives me shudders…. Its not touch oversensitivity! It’s them literally disturbing my contact with the Force! (Also explains why I have a dog called Ewok!) 😀

Sylvia Daniella Foxglove
Sylvia Daniella Foxglove
7 years ago

Shit! He knows! My power to break men’s souls have diminished since I started losing hair!

AsAboveSoBelow
AsAboveSoBelow
7 years ago

Persis Khambatta was the first bald woman I thought of.

Iseult The Idle
Iseult The Idle
7 years ago

Grace Jones is gorgeous.

PeeVee the (Timber-Rattling Booger Slut, But Noice) Sarcastic
PeeVee the (Timber-Rattling Booger Slut, But Noice) Sarcastic
7 years ago

What whiny little wibbles, just making up shit to get pissy about.

guest
guest
7 years ago

‘Hair isn’t some autonomous creature that just decides to settle on someone’s head.’

Have you not seen D Trump then?

weirwoodtreehugger: chief manatee

Looks like this migtow is a secret Mean Girls fan

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opposablethumbs
opposablethumbs
7 years ago

@ Cleon

Hair isn’t some autonomous creature that just decides to settle on someone’s head.

ahem. I put it to you that the current usurper in the WH, aka the SCROTUS, provides evidence that this may not in fact be the case.

I did the glamorous shaved-head thing once (it was a moderately special occasion), it was pretty fun.

Heirloom Roses
Heirloom Roses
7 years ago

I just can’t.

Scented Fucking Hard Chairs
Scented Fucking Hard Chairs
7 years ago

This dope seems to have confused women with kelpies.

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