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Women are secret uggoes who lure men to their doom with their hair, MGTOW explains

Never doubt the power of lady hair

By David Futrelle

Fellas! Be careful around ladies lest they hypnotize you into liking them with their hair. Yes, that’s right. I said hair.

Absorb this hard-won wisdom, coming to you from one very wise fellow in the Men Going Their Own Way subreddit who is today’s MGTOW of the Day:

EndlessPontification 9 points 16 days ago And the only reason you want to fuck women is because of your own bio-chemistry and their hair. Women aren't even good-looking, and they know it. It's literally all in their hair. If all women suddenly went bald, nobody would give two fucks about them except the thirstiest of the thirsty. You can have the hottest woman alive, and the second she goes bald, she becomes an autistic freak.

Seriously. look at these hideous monsters. Eww!

Sorry, I forgot what my point was.

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Weird (Encouraged by the RESISTANCE!!!!) Eddie
Weird (Encouraged by the RESISTANCE!!!!) Eddie
3 years ago

The gif is from Legends of the Fall.

my FAVE Brad Pitt flick…

Mish of the Catlady Ascendancy
Mish of the Catlady Ascendancy
3 years ago

On words that have become all-purpose negatives or insults – I don’t know any off-hand that have not evolved this way.

I resisted “that’s so gay” and still do. A currently popular one (here anyway) is “brokens”. I hate it with a passion.

Gussie Jives
Gussie Jives
3 years ago

I’m all for short hair. I kinda see it from a purely utilitarian perspective, like I do footwear. I’m not going to grow out something that I have to comb and condition and take a million years washing unnecessarily, so crew-cut Jives has been kickin’ it for prolly a decade at this point.

@JS And yes, we all need more Zhaan! I’ll never fault Virginia Hey for quitting when the makeup and schedule were affecting her health, but that character was so much fun and Hey clearly had fun playing Zhaan too, so it kinda sucks that Zhaan’s exit from the show didn’t come about more organically. But the showrunners handled it well.

sarah_kay_gee
sarah_kay_gee
3 years ago

What is with MGTOW turdgurglers using the word “autistic” as a synonym for “ugly” lately? Did they always do that, or did the same moron that came up with “cuck” whisper it in their ears, because I never noticed it until very recently. I know y’all are catastrophically stupid and all, but THAT IS NOT WHAT THAT WORD MEANS. STOP IT.

PreuxFox
PreuxFox
3 years ago

@sarah_kay_gee I assume they picked it up from the U.K. It’s been used as an insult there for a while, less ‘ugly’ and more a synonym for the r-slur.

It’s kind of like middle school, the way these guys pick up insults. Once one of them starts using it, they all have to start using it to show how cool they are.

Hambeast, disorderly she-tornado and breaker of windows
Hambeast, disorderly she-tornado and breaker of windows
3 years ago

My hair is the least beast-y thing about me. It’s thick, wavy, and luxuriant. It’s just shoulder length right now (cut from butt-length in March) and grows fast. I’m gray in front and my hair fades to my natural brown in back; I like to dye the gray part fun colors.

Even so, I’ve never had scores of men falling at my feet over it. It’s almost like this guy doesn’t know what he’s talking about.

kidvelociraptor
3 years ago

I’ve had a thing for women of color with shaved heads since before I even hit puberty & realized I was bi. They are just so beautiful.

Pavlovs House
Pavlovs House
3 years ago

wow, the darnest things come up here….who would have thought something about hair. Well, MGTOWs come up with crazy stuff.

I have very thick dark hair. I like to wear it buzzed in a traditional military look but grown just a little….like how a man’s hair looks when it’s just barely still within the Army regs. Ms. Pavlov’s House wants it longer, and, well, I keep it that way to keep her happy. I’m flattered my partner is into it. I actually love her hair (long, past her shoulders, mostly straight, golden blonde) and it’s a major part of my physical attraction to her, sure…but when I imagine a Ms. Pavlov’s House without her hair she’s still beautiful and my sweetheart.

Pavlovs House
Pavlovs House
3 years ago

@kidvelociraptor

That can be a beautiful look, it’s true.

Masse_Mysteria
Masse_Mysteria
3 years ago

All this talk of supernatural hair brings back memories from some fifteen years back, when I had shoulder-length hair. It would literally get tangled while I sat still doing nothing. That’s probably why I’ve always had it short before and after.

I’ve had an undercut for years, and the longer part at the top of my head might be reaching my shoulders sometime this year. I’ve been interested to see whether it will grow past that. Now I can also look forward to seeing what supernatural hijinks ensue.

weirwoodtreehugger: chief manatee

Every single day I pull a huge knotted up clump of loose hair out. I have no idea how it gets so tangled up and I have no idea how I can shed that much hair every day and still not be bald.

Gussie Jives
Gussie Jives
3 years ago

@YV Your comment about the term “autistic” being an insult for years had me thinking, and something occurred to me. Back when I was in high school in the late 90s, early 2000s, the internet was something that was established, but still relatively new. Now we slung around all the standard bratty insults kids do, but “autistic” was not one of them.

I think the key shift in communication from then to now was in the popularity of memes. My schoolyard chums and I had all watched South Park and Family Guy and The Simpsons and the same popular films and those all influenced the culture writ large. But memes (and I’m thinking particularly those that begin or at least get fostered on 4chan) seem to grow and take on a life of their own. They latch on to a person, place or thing and just distort it until it’s unrecognizable. “Regressive.” “Cuck.” “Autist.” Ideological opponents reduced to crude caricatures identified only by nicknames like “Trigglypuff” and “Big Red.” It’s all reduced to lowest-common-denominator crap, slapped on a JPEG and shared about until everybody is sporting Pepe avatars and saying “Top KEK.”

Now, memes are a tool, and like any tool, they can be abused. They’re quite effective at relating concepts in an easy-to-understand and memorable manner. But if they’re permitted to just enter the general lexicon, then all of a sudden “cuckholdry” no longer refers to engaging in an adulterous affair behind the back of a spouse. Now it’s just some vague needle against somebody’s… I don’t know, masculinity? But it’s everywhere now! Browse any soc-jus YouTuber’s comment section and you’ll find it.

This is where the besieged educational systems are absolutely necessary, and where I think that the cracks are really becoming apparent, particularly in the way media is absorbed by the public. A meme meant ironically when it’s initially introduced may be parroted unironically by a brace of /pol/ posters and suddenly become a “just so” story swallowed uncritically by a lot of impressionable young people. This is where civics, social studies, literature and other subjects derided as “liberal arts” really become necessary: in bringing other narratives to bear upon one’s own life, challenging stereotypes and preconceptions.

That’s the only way I can think to battle a meme culture.

Weatherwax
Weatherwax
3 years ago

I know what it’s supposed to mean but “uggoes” makes me picture Ugg boots with big googly eyes.

Anyway…

@Cleon

Hair isn’t some autonomous creature that just decides to settle on someone’s head.

Time for the practically obligatory Terry Pratchett quote (when I’m in the room, anyway):

“Marco? The one with all the hair?”
“That’s right. Only I thought the rule was that all monks were shaved.”
“Oh, [Marco] says he is bald under the hair,” said Lu-Tze. “He says the hair is a separate creature that just happens to live on him. They gave him a field posting really quickly after he came up with that one.”

I knew it sounded familiar to me from somewhere as a concept, but it took a little while to track it down in my sub-conscious.

jy3
jy3
3 years ago

Wait, wasn’t this a chapter from Uzumaki? The one where the girl grows her hair into hypnotic spirals and ends up wasting away as it takes on a life of its own?

Z&T
Z&T
3 years ago

I have stick straight hair and I don’t like it!

I have attempted even perms to get curls – did not work, or crapped out quickly, my hair is too dark to lighten or bleach also.

I don’t like my hair 🙁

I usually have it clipped up, I can’t do anything with it.

(Ethnicity wise I’m Egyptian, Israeli, US considers me “white”, might be a tad tanner, I have dry skin and hair. Even in this humidity gah.)

No, I’m not Hoda K LOL, my AC mooching friend is teasing me. Yeah she was able to bleach her hair, hmmm.

Friend says that she can bleach my hair. GET AWAY FROM MY HEAD!!! I tried that once and it was a DISASTER. Turned orange, broke off.

Yeah if you could afford a top stylist and expensive products it might be possible –
I will leave it the way it is. It’s not like I can *style* the mess or anything anyway so who cares what color it is?

I do find myself admiring some of these bright colors, the purples and blues and greens –

I should think you’d need lighter hair for those, too.

On the upside I’m getting enough of gray and the last time I had it done I got “warm (brown) with gold tone highlights” – because according to the stylist – the grey will pick those up.

: /

It did work out that way though 🙂

For the upcoming Fall I’m going to try an “Auburn” brown.

“Styling” it, is of course another manner. Consider The Three Stooges, who were also Jewish People. One is bald, one has frizzy hair, one has stick straight more Asian looking hair.

Yes, as Principal Skinner pointed out to Bart Simpson – these are The Three Wise Men so perhaps I should take my hair styling cues from them?

My hair is closest to Moe’s – so I guess I should go with a bowl cut?

dslucia
dslucia
3 years ago

Wow, and I just mentioned a few days ago about how I’m a dude with long hair.

It’s actually really getting to the point where I should get a haircut, because I don’t do well with warm temperatures and it being past my shoulders can get rather inconvenient on warmer/windy days.

But yeah, people with short hair or bald/shaved heads are attractive too.

BritterSweet
3 years ago

So women control men with their butts, vagina goo, and now hair. What’s next, I wonder?

Dormousing_it
Dormousing_it
3 years ago

@KatieKitten420

Heh. You’re not being intrusive. Sorry for my delay in responding. I had to go to work☺

I’m Caucasian.

You know, I have no idea if the barber even knew what he was doing. All I know is, my hair’s texture sucked after he was through.

I broke a comb in my hair a few days ago, as I was attempting to detangle it after I washed it.

kupo
kupo
3 years ago

So women control men with their butts, vagina goo, and now hair. What’s next, I wonder?

Nostril flare.

Kat, ambassador of the feminist government in exile
Kat, ambassador of the feminist government in exile
3 years ago

@Bina

In my early 20s, I went for a chemical straightening. For two glorious weeks, I had the perfectly straight, glossy hair of my dreams. Then it started to bend again, then it curled, then it frizzed, and then it BROKE. I was picking and snipping horrendous split ends, the first real ones I’d ever had, out of it for three years thereafter. Not until the chemical damage was thoroughly grown out did I finally have reasonably healthy (if still incorrigibly frizzy) hair again. When silicone anti-frizz products came on the market, I bought them all with hope and gratitude, only to be disappointed all over again when my wily hair found its way around all that and refused to play nice.

It sucked, it sucks, it will never stop sucking. But I did learn one valuable lesson: It does NOT pay to fight curly hair.

Yep. It’s got a mind of its own.

Curly girl solidarity fist bump.

PeeVee the (Timber-Rattling Booger Slut, But Noice) Sarcastic
PeeVee the (Timber-Rattling Booger Slut, But Noice) Sarcastic
3 years ago

Nostril flare

*Snerk*

Feline
Feline
3 years ago

So women control men with their butts, vagina goo, and now hair. What’s next, I wonder?

Five bucks or ear-lobes. Have you seen how they adorn them?

Grace of Spades
Grace of Spades
3 years ago

Damnit all, why have I wasted so many years working and going to school when I could have been the first woman governor of my state just by wearing tight jeans and showing off my black mane? Oh yes, because those things don’t actually segue into actual power. I have gotten many an offer of free drinks, but they really weren’t free. The bill just wasn’t up front.

kupo
kupo
3 years ago

@Feline
Like the ferengi?
comment image

Nikki the Bluth Wannabe
Nikki the Bluth Wannabe
3 years ago

My hair is naturally straight, but I prefer it wavy (as in my current avatar) and can easily get it that way by showering at night and putting it on braids overnight.
One of my favorite examples of a bald-or-semibald-woman is the blonde buzz cut (similar to Amber Rose’s hair, actually) that Noelle Scaggs of Fitz and the Tantrums had a few years back, seen in the header photo of this article: http://www.dailyblender.com/2013/06/quick-spin-noelle-scaggs-of-fitz-and-the-tantrums/. (IMO, I think Noelle wore it better, but that could just be my pro-FATT bias.)
She now has a blue Mohawk and still looks as amazing as the band is (seriously, check them out when you get a chance), see header photo of this article: http://www.billboard.com/articles/columns/chart-beat/7469310/fitz-and-the-tantrums-handclap-hot-rock-songs.
Her Mohawk really is blue, bright blue-if you look up their “HandClap” video on YouTube, you’ll see the hair color best when she’s standing against a white backdrop.

Horrorfan510
Horrorfan510
3 years ago

We talking hair? I have loose curls and thick facial hair (eastern European/Jewish heritage). When I don’t cut my hair or shave for a while, my mom will tell me I look like the unabomber.

Neurite
Neurite
3 years ago

I am super late to this thread, but I feel any thread featuring beautiful man hair needs a dose of Naveen Andrews in The English Patient.

http://www.fanzone50.com/Naveen/EP/EP_13.jpg
http://www.fanzone50.com/Naveen/EP/EP_11.jpg

Fishy Goat
Fishy Goat
3 years ago

Can’t really hold a candle to Naveen Andrews (or Jason Momoa for that matter), but here’s a couple of long haired guys I’ve liked in the past:

comment image
http://i.dailymail.co.uk/i/pix/2014/02/09/article-2555043-070D2475000005DC-872_306x423.jpg

Pretty Pink Punnani Princess
Pretty Pink Punnani Princess
3 years ago

Yet these are the same asshats hissing at women’s pixie cuts, buzzcuts, military haircuts or any other shorter hairstyles. Saying they’re trying too hard to be “butch” or like a “man”, and one agitated guy on a forum said the next woman he sees with short hair, a tattoo or “bug eye glasses”, he’s literally going to want to slap as hard as he can.

It’s almost like they WANT to be lured. I was even on mgtow.com and all of the men on those self-answering “are women “Really” hot or not?” pages admitted that a woman’s hair was her “crown”. Yet, these are the same men who hate the whole “princess” deal and treating women like the royalty that they are not, rather than treating them like the “slaves” the deserve to be treated as. These are the same men who literally feel women have no worth at all… so get the hell out of here with a “crown”. These are also the same men who are convinced all women are secretly ugly, yet they are always rating the women who are obviously wearing makeup, pretty clothes, are fit and taking care of themselves. Yet at the same time… these are STILL just futile tactics to “trick” men. Because after all… women are still ugly. I’ve seen men rate drop dead gorgeous women 2’s and 3’s out of pure spite before, much to the agreed praise of the other men on the forums. Yet, they are still under the “control” of the evil women’s looks, because if they weren’t, they wouldn’t waste their time to even rate women or even discuss their looks in any way whatsoever.

But it has long since come to my attention that 98% of these men in these movements don’t know what the fuck they’re talking about. :l

(Good thing even they know they’re full of shit and that they’re words on the internet are permanent and can be used as reference in future. So they give the weak-sauce “Redpill rage phase” as an excuse to their horrid behaviors and words.)