There’s nobody quite so sensitive to the subtle oppression of men in contemporary society than the guys who hang out on Involuntary Celibacy forums online. Which is perhaps why they spend so much of their time, er, consciousness raising about the critical issue of fat women who have sex.
On the Incels subreddit, the regulars return to the topic again and again in innumerable threads decrying the fat girl menace. Their central complaint: Fat women are able to have sex with pretty much any man they want, while similarly fat men lead lives of not-so-quiet celibacy.
“Must be nice being a fat woman,” writes someone called ASS_F.
Still get an enormous amount of dating options. Can still date perfectly decent looking men. Can fuck lower tier or drunk Chads. May even be able to shag a model every now and again.
Fellow Reddit incel mcfill1 agrees:
Women have the opportunity to be disgusting slobs and still date up.
Alas, the incels complain, this option is simply not available to men. As Afroaway00 puts it,
all women are attractive to at least some men. they can be midgets, obese, extremely tall, doesn’t matter. only men can truly be unattractive.
ZyrrosLooks explains the supposed SCIENCE behind this supposed fact:
The most funny thing of all is that fat levels affect much more unforgivingly men than women.
A difference between 12 and 16% bodyfat in a woman makes almost no difference in attractiveness. On a man it can be the difference between chad and under average, night and day. Men are expected to have very lean faces, and thus have much much harsher requirements on being lean than women.
So even in the ONLY thing that women require to be attractive, men have it much harsher, its ridiculous.
Indeed, ijustwantsomefriendz adds, with a dollop of transphobia on top,
All a woman needs to be fuckable is have a vagina
(We’ve met ijustwantsomefriendz before; he’s the guy whose incel subreddit “flair” declares that “females deserve the rope.”)
But even the fattest women get endless affirmations from thirsty men, incels complain. Usingthistoshitpost informs his fellow incel Redditors that
I was on meetme last night and 9 out of 10 of the girls on there were obese, disgusting slobs. And here is the kicker, the majority of them have orbiters and men telling them they are THICK and beautiful.
While most incels agree with usingthistoshitpost that these fat women are “disgusting” — and one even says that he doesn’t “consider them humans” — incels are also furious that these “disgusting,” inhuman, sex-having women don’t want to have sex with them. A fellow called DeLaNoochie indignantly reports that he
Thought it would be a piece of cake landing a porker. Boy, was I wrong. It’s unbelievable how much power they have. Everyone hates on them but plenty of guys fuck them. Hypocritical bastards. And they make it tougher for guys because apparently they’re sought after. Wtf
Gosh, who could possibly have imagined that “porkers” wouldn’t want to have anything to do with guys who call them “porkers?”
Even setting aside the horrific misogyny for a second, you may have noticed that pretty much none of these incel beliefs about fat women, fat men and sex have any basis in reality whatsoever — with the exception of the thing about fat women not wanting to date them.
Yes, fat women have sex. Sometimes they even — quelle surprise! — have sex with the sort of conventionally “hot” guys that incels would denounce as “chads.” But guess what, incel dudes, fat guys have sex too, sometimes even with the conventionally hot women you dudes call “Stacies.” (Hell, fat, broke, middle-aged blogger dudes who rarely leave their apartments have sex.)
None of this should be a revelation to anyone. Just take a look at the couples you see walking together through the nearest park; I guarantee you’ll see more than a few fat guys holding hands with women of all shapes and sizes. Most Americans, regardless of gender, are classified as overweight or obese today; the overwhelming majority of them have had sex.
The widespread manosphere belief — seemingly shared by most incels — that 80% of women are having all the sex with only 20% of men, with the rest of the men living sad, celibate lives, has absolutely no basis in reality; I don’t think I’ve ever seen any manospherian even try to provide statistics to back it up. Because those statistics don’t exist.
Incels claim that fat or otherwise less than “perfect”-looking men are treated much more harshly than women; the rest of us know that’s ridiculous. Women are fat-shamed from girlhood to old age, often when they are as far from fat as I am far from skinny. (I only started to get shit about my weight after I started writing about misogynistic men.) Women and girls are three times more likely to develop anorexia than men and boys.
Again, none of this is news to anyone who lives outside of the reality-distortion field of the incel subculture. Incel ideology is a mixture of misogyny and self-hatred that’s as toxic to believers as it is offensive to everyone outside their not-so-charmed circle.
Some man-loving women prefer dudes with chiseled bodies; others — perhaps even most of them, according to one possibly less-than-completely scientific survey — prefer their men with a bit of pudge.
But very few women are into bitter incel assholes who hate themselves nearly as much as they hate women. Most incel dudes — at least going by the pictures they sometimes post — are fairly average looking. It’s not their looks that keep them celibate; it’s the poison that fills their brains.
I’m currently just overweight and 30, but I used to be obese. And back then, I found plenty of people willing to have sex with me. Not just fat men, desperate men, or chubby chasers, either. My first serious boyfriend was conventionally attractive and loved to work out. His drinking problem is what led to the demise of our relationship after 4.5 years. Meanwhile, I dropped down to an average size 10/12 and now I’m happily completely invisible to men. The only ones who indicate attraction to me are my closest male friends and/or drunk men. (Although, most of the time, my friends are drunk when they say anything.) The rest of the world treats me like a minor NPC in an immersive MMO. Click once to see what I say and then ignore me forever after.
If anything, men are far more particular about age than they are size of women, though. At least from my personal anecdata (and an OKCupid trend blog).
Awww, thank you KatieKitten. My maths goes as follows:
Abstract:
We find that KatieKitten and Francesca are totes adorbs. Obvs.
Body:
We can observe both Fran and Katie acting adorably in this thread (with adorability Af and Ak respectively.) We also notice that their adorability increases when they’re in the same thread. Let’s compare this to an “at rest” adorability for each, Af0 and Ak0.
The adorability of a couple C can be expressed as (Af – Af0)(Ak – Ak0); that is, the product of their individual increase in adorability when the other is nearby.
Mathematically, this means that:
– If C = 0, at least one of the couple has no attraction to the other.
– If C is less than 0, one person is attracted and the other is repulsed (we call this the “dude stop creeping on me” case.)
– If C is greater than 0, each person feels the same about one another, and acts noticeably differently when together.
We observe in this thread that C is positive; reaching approximately 0.8 “Get A Room, You Two”s. From previously-published experimental data* we know that Af0 > 0 and Ak0 > 0. Therefore, Af and Ak must both be large positives.
(There’s another possible solution if both (Af – Af0) and (Ak – Ak0) are negative numbers. However this does not conform to observational data and should be discounted.)
QED.
Bibliography
*Francesca Torpedo et al, We Hunted the Mammoth, June 2017.
Some other papers of mine I’m throwing in to increase my citation count even though they’re not relevant, EJ, 1984-2017.
@opposablethumbs,
Absolutely not off the mark, no – although your comment reminded me that generally speaking, European women had a bit more independence during the medieval period compared to later, rather than vice versa.
@Alan – brilliant picture 😀
Wow. I was gonna comment but David pretty much covered all the angles on this topic.
just wanted to thank you for the shout-out. appreciate it buddy.
I think they meant that there’s an intra-Chad hierarchy. Say that Chads are the men who rank 8-10 on the 1-10 ranking system. The 10s are the Chads who get all hottest women. The 8s still get laid so they’re luckier than the poor unfortunate souls with inadequate wrist circumferences but they have to settle for the 3-6 women.
See? It all make sense.
@EJ re: “lower tier Chads”
I think this is just an instance of poor sentence structuring/clarity, and the poster meant “lower tier [beta cucks], or drunk Chads.”
I could be wrong, of course, but that was how I read it.
Is the Stacey scale linear or logarithmic?
Francesca said
Yeah, because if there is a nationwide race war, these white supremacist guys will get to see just how fast an overweight, middle-aged, whiter-than-white woman can actually move! Like, all the NOPE gifs in fast forward; I’d be a YT viral video.
Also, black people can’t rollerblade?? I guess the left coast didn’t get cc’d on that memo! Twenty years ago, walking in/around Santa Monica was nigh impossible for all the rollerbladers of all shapes/sizes/colors!
@opposablethumbs
SF author and screenwriter David Gerrold calls him the SCROTUS (So Called Ruler Of The United States)
You’re welcome!
@WWTH:
Ah, I see what you’re saying.
So, in incel-world, 20% of men (Chads) have 80% of the sex. However, 80% of that sex is done by the top 20% of Chads; and presumably 80% of that sex is done by the top 20% super-Chads. It’s like income inequality, only more entitled.
This lets us work out the demographics of incel-world. Let’s break it down numerically, assuming an equal number of heterosexual, sexually-active members of each gender:
80% of men are incels, having only 20% of the womenfolk to share between them, meaning that each incel woman can have a harem of four incel men. This might make for good board-games parties, except that incels are awful people so probably no fun to play Carcassonne with.
16% of men are slender-wristed Chads. Interestingly, they also have 16% of the sex, suggesting that for every slender-wristed Chad there’s a slender-wristed Stacey to settle down with. This is presumably the incel explanation for what we normies call “romantic love.”
3.2% of men are proper Chads. They have 12.8% of the sex, meaning that each Chad is outnumbered four to one by Staceys. I suspect that this isn’t resolved via a harem scenario, but rather by him discarding each Stacey as she ages past the Wall, and finding a new one. Poor Chad! He must be heartbroken to meet a woman and fall in love, knowing that it’s only temporary and she’ll be torn away by the ravages of time.
0.8% of men are super-Chads. According to the maths, they have a full 51.2% of all the sex in the world, meaning that each super-Chad needs to satisfy a full 64 Staceys. If each Stacey is content to do it once weekly, this leaves super-Chad having to do it nine times a night, and ten on Sundays. Ouch. I hope super-Chad has good cardiovascular fitness.
Speaking as a man, I’m glad I don’t live in incel-world.
@dslucia:
*rereads*
Your solution is clearly the correct one, but you took all the fun out of it.
I’m seeing not one but TWO* conventionally attractive men**! And I’m fat and pushing 50. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!
_____
*the new guy I’m dating is poly, I’m not sure I am – I think I’m probably not, but since I already had a lover that I like a lot I’m willing to give it a go until I’m not.
**Admittedly not super, super hot in an conventionally objective sense – although I think so.
@EJ,
Ok, now I know you are also hilarious. Math isn’t my topic at all, but i am a huge geek, so I(think I)know what it looks like. That looks like a genuine math formula that really works. Which makes the compliment even more complimentary because of the time you put into it. Which all adds up to you being completely awesome!?
@Evil_Geoff
That is too, too perfectly apposite 🙂
@EJ-senpai
I’ve never had anyone mathematically quantify my adorableness factor before!
I’m touched, really, that you took such an effort to do so. It means a lot to me. <3
@Hambeast-dono
Truly, you are the vanguard commander our revolution needs.
It’s funny, really. There’s an airbase right next to me on Long Island, staffed with black people. These people don’t know who they’re fucking with.
If the Race War(tm) happens, I’m gonna go join up and fly an A-10 Thunderbolt II (Warthog) for them and rain death on some nazis.
I’m also going to paint a cute anime girl on the nose of my plane. You’re all welcome to join the 68th Mahou Shoujo Wing (magical girl wing) if you come by here.
I know, right?
I like how we’re basically not allowed to do anything.
@Afroaway00
Well hello there! I’m glad you enjoyed David’s “shout-out,” as you so egotistically put it. I’m curious where you got your data from which you extrapolated that only men can be ugly. Can you expand on that?
Kupo, you know the answer to that. The odor of ass wafts from most of their “data.”
It’s so funny when the subjects of these posts are proud to be mocked.
@EJ:
http://images.techtimes.com/data/images/full/163412/falloutvaultboythumbsup.jpg
No problem, that’s what I do.
@Evil_Geoff Oooh! I like that! Must practice….
*SCROTUS**SCROTUS**SCROTUS**SCROTUS**SCROTUS*
I’m fat. Like, super fat. Like, 4X fat. I’m also hot, and I’ve exploited the shame loophole to get men – attractive men, some who were literally models – to pay me for sex. Pay handsomely. For hot sex. That I enjoyed. There is no shortage of men out there who love fat women (sadly a lot of them are closeted and/or cheating on their “Stacies” with paid women like me).
I also “date up” in terms of appearance. I’ve found that conventionally attractive men are less likely to date for status reasons, and often have the confidence required to openly date a fat woman.
While I feel sorry for these obviously sad people, I also love that I have a full, rich dating life, and maintain long-term unions with ridiculous hot (and awesome) men.
Maybe stop hating yourselves and people would bang you?
@ Ohlmann: I initially misread your second sentence as saying “defenestration process”, and was thinking, “I could get behind that.” Then I re-read it, and still agree with you. But I’d like to thank you for providing that moment of day-brightening fantasy. 🙂
@ Francesca: Danny DeVito. And that guy on Hill Street Blues. Although in Hollywood, this is also connected to the “women HAVE to be fuckable” standard, and to the conviction that Meryl Streep at 40 is “too old” to be the romantic interest for a 70-year-old man.
@ Lea: I agree 100% with this analysis. It’s like a cult with multiple idolized leaders plus a bunch of followers who reinforce the toxic messages among themselves, and it’s sucking in and destroying young men who, absent that, might have a very good chance of discovering that it gets better.
The above whinger seems to have it the wrong way around entirely. Women are fat shamed WAY more than men, and not just when we are fat! It is the go to insult against a woman of virtually any size. At school I was shamed for my size (10lbs overweight at most) by boys who were fat.
And since when does a man’s face have to be very lean? Unless you are in Hollywood or a bodybuilder or somesuch I can’t say it is something I have ever seen. I am guessing the writer has a pudgy face!
I once stumbled upon a site that appeared initially to be a Fat Admirer site but quickly realised that the man who ran it was a misogynist and had turned fat shaming into some kind of fetish.
I suppose it is just a variation on the ‘incel’ who hates women and yet wants sex with women, but had the added ‘bonus’ of it apparently being easy for this man to find fat women who were prepared to be humiliated by him.
I really needed the fluffy kitties and puppies after that.
@ Gussie Jives: The true irony here is that if fat women were as shallow as these guys think, they still wouldn’t be getting laid because they wouldn’t measure up. I mean, think about it — if you’re a self-centered notch carver, are you going to look twice at one of these assholes? NOT.
@ Nanny Ogg’s Bosom: The Fantasy of Being Thin.
There is literally no fallacy in the world that more people accept than “being thin will fix everything that’s wrong with your life”. Even doctors buy into it! Just ask a fat women who’s gone to the doctor with a problem unrelated to her weight. 🙁
Any time someone says, “You just need to lose weight,” turn it back on them. Ask them if they’d say the same thing about a decision to move to another state, or to go back to school, or to get married / have a child / have another child. Odds are they’ll say, “No, because that won’t fix the problems you already have.” So why, then, do they think that losing weight will magically fix the problems you already have?
@ Jen: How tall are you? If you’re 5’4″ or over and wearing size 10-12, the only thing that’s going to call you “overweight” is a BMI chart, and those are junk science. When I was in my 20s I was 5’4″ and wearing that size range, and I never had any trouble finding guys to go out with.
@ Hambeast: No shit. I don’t want a race war, but if it happens… there will be a lot of white supremacists whose last conscious thought will be “But she’s supposed to be on OUR side!” Monster Hunter International will have nothing on us. 🙂