There’s nobody quite so sensitive to the subtle oppression of men in contemporary society than the guys who hang out on Involuntary Celibacy forums online. Which is perhaps why they spend so much of their time, er, consciousness raising about the critical issue of fat women who have sex.
On the Incels subreddit, the regulars return to the topic again and again in innumerable threads decrying the fat girl menace. Their central complaint: Fat women are able to have sex with pretty much any man they want, while similarly fat men lead lives of not-so-quiet celibacy.
“Must be nice being a fat woman,” writes someone called ASS_F.
Still get an enormous amount of dating options. Can still date perfectly decent looking men. Can fuck lower tier or drunk Chads. May even be able to shag a model every now and again.
Fellow Reddit incel mcfill1 agrees:
Women have the opportunity to be disgusting slobs and still date up.
Alas, the incels complain, this option is simply not available to men. As Afroaway00 puts it,
all women are attractive to at least some men. they can be midgets, obese, extremely tall, doesn’t matter. only men can truly be unattractive.
ZyrrosLooks explains the supposed SCIENCE behind this supposed fact:
The most funny thing of all is that fat levels affect much more unforgivingly men than women.
A difference between 12 and 16% bodyfat in a woman makes almost no difference in attractiveness. On a man it can be the difference between chad and under average, night and day. Men are expected to have very lean faces, and thus have much much harsher requirements on being lean than women.
So even in the ONLY thing that women require to be attractive, men have it much harsher, its ridiculous.
Indeed, ijustwantsomefriendz adds, with a dollop of transphobia on top,
All a woman needs to be fuckable is have a vagina
(We’ve met ijustwantsomefriendz before; he’s the guy whose incel subreddit “flair” declares that “females deserve the rope.”)
But even the fattest women get endless affirmations from thirsty men, incels complain. Usingthistoshitpost informs his fellow incel Redditors that
I was on meetme last night and 9 out of 10 of the girls on there were obese, disgusting slobs. And here is the kicker, the majority of them have orbiters and men telling them they are THICK and beautiful.
While most incels agree with usingthistoshitpost that these fat women are “disgusting” — and one even says that he doesn’t “consider them humans” — incels are also furious that these “disgusting,” inhuman, sex-having women don’t want to have sex with them. A fellow called DeLaNoochie indignantly reports that he
Thought it would be a piece of cake landing a porker. Boy, was I wrong. It’s unbelievable how much power they have. Everyone hates on them but plenty of guys fuck them. Hypocritical bastards. And they make it tougher for guys because apparently they’re sought after. Wtf
Gosh, who could possibly have imagined that “porkers” wouldn’t want to have anything to do with guys who call them “porkers?”
Even setting aside the horrific misogyny for a second, you may have noticed that pretty much none of these incel beliefs about fat women, fat men and sex have any basis in reality whatsoever — with the exception of the thing about fat women not wanting to date them.
Yes, fat women have sex. Sometimes they even — quelle surprise! — have sex with the sort of conventionally “hot” guys that incels would denounce as “chads.” But guess what, incel dudes, fat guys have sex too, sometimes even with the conventionally hot women you dudes call “Stacies.” (Hell, fat, broke, middle-aged blogger dudes who rarely leave their apartments have sex.)
None of this should be a revelation to anyone. Just take a look at the couples you see walking together through the nearest park; I guarantee you’ll see more than a few fat guys holding hands with women of all shapes and sizes. Most Americans, regardless of gender, are classified as overweight or obese today; the overwhelming majority of them have had sex.
The widespread manosphere belief — seemingly shared by most incels — that 80% of women are having all the sex with only 20% of men, with the rest of the men living sad, celibate lives, has absolutely no basis in reality; I don’t think I’ve ever seen any manospherian even try to provide statistics to back it up. Because those statistics don’t exist.
Incels claim that fat or otherwise less than “perfect”-looking men are treated much more harshly than women; the rest of us know that’s ridiculous. Women are fat-shamed from girlhood to old age, often when they are as far from fat as I am far from skinny. (I only started to get shit about my weight after I started writing about misogynistic men.) Women and girls are three times more likely to develop anorexia than men and boys.
Again, none of this is news to anyone who lives outside of the reality-distortion field of the incel subculture. Incel ideology is a mixture of misogyny and self-hatred that’s as toxic to believers as it is offensive to everyone outside their not-so-charmed circle.
Some man-loving women prefer dudes with chiseled bodies; others — perhaps even most of them, according to one possibly less-than-completely scientific survey — prefer their men with a bit of pudge.
But very few women are into bitter incel assholes who hate themselves nearly as much as they hate women. Most incel dudes — at least going by the pictures they sometimes post — are fairly average looking. It’s not their looks that keep them celibate; it’s the poison that fills their brains.
That is a lot of extrapolation for pointing out your conflicting statements, but okay.
And yeah, I’m suspicious, because we get a whole lot of assholes here.
A whole lot.
I din’t label you a troll; that’s pure projection on your part, black-cat.
Yet nobody answered why you think saying that staying in an abusive relationship as a grown adult is a choice (difficult or not is beside the point as I already know and admitted to that many times) means that I think you choose to be abused and deserve to be abused when I never said it did and in fact claimed the opposite? That’s not victim blaming but if you think it is, I am genuinely curious as to why/how, which again, I already stated.
Gotcha. Unsurprising if you’ve been here long enough. That’s part of my point though. Just like the blue pill subreddit, the more you engage with trolls and people you don’t like, the more you tend to project extra traits onto others who might remind you of those people.
Is that what you’re doing? Thanks for being up-front about your projection.
I came across an mgtow on YouTube and made the stupid decision to argue with him. Felt shitty for a whole day afterwards because i hate fighting especially with people who are incredibly delusional and won’t hear anything you say, googled some things to make myself feel better and landed here. Realized it’s full of insight about the state of our world and stuck around for a bit to gain more knowledge and fill in the gaps of my understanding of gender problems.
Read the comments policy, black-cat.
Engaging with people I don’t like? Not sure i follow.
@black-cat-inc
We are not required to educate you in this matter. We told you that you’re harming us with your line of rhetoric and questioning, yet you continue to poke at us and prod us and insist we’re being so mean by not answer your “just a question.” You’re piling more harm right now on top of us by doing this. And your question has been answered.
Read this. Enlighten yourself.
http://everydayfeminism.com/2015/01/why-ipv-survivors-stay/
Of course you don’t.
Never said you were being mean. Again with putting words in my mouth.
Also I’ve already read that article and it doesn’t answer my question. Someone can have the same education as you and STILL have a different opinion.
I never insulted anyone, but just because you think my words mean something they don’t when I have said over and over what I precisely mean by them… that’s on you.
@blackcat
thanks! As somebody who has actually been lurking since 2012, and didn’t post until a few months ago, I recommend taking a step back and just lurking for awhile. I’m truly not trying to silence you, it’s more of person-to-person advice. I do not think you’re a bad person! The vibe around here ebbs and flows sometimes (that’s not a bad thing), and its good to tip your toes in before cannonballing right in the pool.
disclaimer: heavily medicated with indica due to migraine: I apologize to everybody if I’m incoherent or insulting
It is? From what I can see, he is making the same comments he was making before you got here. Which were the same comments he has been making over on r/incels. He wanked about how he’s shitty person but totes not a misogynist before. He’s doing the same thing now.
What a fucking victory.
And if you have something against the blue pill, take it up with them. I don’t even know if any of the regulars here even comment there. Not that I know of.
@PeeVee
Sorry. Curious. What part?
@Axe
‘delusional’
I mean this is just a one time thing. And regardless of what you think of me, I know I’m not a bad person. It’s just a matter of different views is all (regarding the whole debate here or whatever you want to call it). People have different levels of sensitivity to what they’ve been through and this type of reaction is not new to me at all (inb4 “i knew it, you are a troll”… nahh, I really do just want to discuss heavy topics calmly). I’ll leave you guys to it then.
Delusional, Axe.
Although re-reading the comments policy, I see that describing someone as delusional is a-ok.
This is a good thing to know. I had thought that was out of bounds. Excellent.
I got a refresher. Go me.
black-cat, so this is a one time thing?
Ah. Okay.
Where did I imply you had a different education level than I do?
You insulted every DV victim/survivor by stating that they stay by choice and that this is analogous to someone not speaking out against the open misogyny in the incel subreddit.
Words mean things whether you intend them to or not. There is a societal context that you’re not taking into consideration with this statement, and if one could simply decide their words mean something different than what those words communicate to others, communication would simply not work.
I’m going to try to go back to not engaging you. I don’t believe you care about DV victims or how you’re harming them.
You’re blatantly misrepresenting black-cat there. They were referring to their discussion with a MGTOWer and not any of you guys.
I mean, I get why their comparison with abuse victims was so contentious, and I think it was fundamentally mistaken, but you’re trying to make them seem worse than they are. Black-cat does not seem like a troll.
EDIT: Seems like I completely misunderstood the intent of that comment. It was about the word delusional and not a misunderstanding about a personal attack. I apologize.
I think the word choice doesn’t really fit there, especially not if you’re comparing that “choice” to the choice by someone to begin or to stay posting on a hateful subreddit. It’s just wrong to compare the myriad of factors that may keep someone in an abusive relationship or may facilitate them getting into ones with an entitled and angry man deciding to deal with those feelings in a completely unproductive, toxic and maybe even harmful manner.
I completely agree with this, none of you have the responsibility to be understanding or nice or even to listen, but I also think me as an incel being here doesn’t necessarily have to mean I’m a troll.
You misunderstood the comments policy request. It’s against the comments policy to use language like “delusional” regardless of whom you are using it against.
@Dali
Ah! I’d thought that word was copacetic. I’ve defended its use on the blog before, and nobody seemed to mind. If it’s bad, I’m sorry for back then, and I won’t use it anymore 🙁
The word “copacetic”, however, is perfectly cromulent.
@Axe
I know we (the collective we) have talked about it being okay in some cases. One can have delusions without being mentally ill. But used as a pejorative like it is here and equating it with mental illness or used to other a group of people is not cool. That’s my take on it, anyway.
@PeeVee
Ha!
@kupo
I see that. It’s a thin line, I reckon, but I’ll do my best to stay on the correct side of it and call out those who cross over. Thank you 🙂
I needed some brain bleach and thought I’d share. Plus I just can’t even with the new threads.
https://youtu.be/wUkeF8tpVmc
In general, my view of words that are typically used as synonyms for “mentally ill” is that if in any doubt, even the slightest bit, don’t use.