Sex educator and Philadelphia Weekly columnist Timaree Schmit posted the peculiar document below to Twitter the other day. It was evidently handed to a friend of hers who was innocently making photocopies by some guy who wanted her to know that she had given him a boner and that he felt really really bad about this, because Jesus.
Guys, don’t do this.
Here’s the creeper’s little manifesto; the pic is a little blurry, alas, so I made a slightly less blurry version of the key bits and pasted it below the original.
I already used the nope badger in an earlier post today, so here’s a nope doggo instead.
H/T — @TByrne75 for letting me know about this, thanks!
@kupo
Yeah the overshare is absolute worst,
he was projecting his fantasy onto some one and forcing them to be apart of it with out consent its just wrong on so many levels.
@PoM
This is really good advice.
I generally do this. Worked for me everytime.
I’m just wondering, are there bars where “Hi, I want to get in your pants” would ever work? I’m fairly sure they don’t exist anymore, though maybe in the 6-70s?
Goddess. Can he not?
Stop intruding on my life. I’m working, ass, I don’t need to know you’re undressing me in your mind. If I care for your opinion, I’ll demand it from you with my whip!
The cringe is real. Such a shame that such pretty gold print and parchment paper was wasted in his over the top sarcastic dramatics.
Fran ого! Спасибище! ? I only just seen your comment. My face became red….Thank you))) and no, no one ever told me i astonishingly anything. This one is just my silly photo, i dont expect any complement for this!
Valentine,
You’re quite the cutie patootie. And yes, that is a compliment.
PeeVee…fuck! ??? thank you! Im embarrassed now…))) i see everyone talking about how they like or not like complement…well i like this one ??
@Valentine
At the risk of making you blush again, I love goofy photos. Thank you for sharing yours. 🙂
Kupo, truthfully i always make this face ?
I actually like getting my toes sucked (bite me, kink-shamers, I’m into the feets), but I still don’t want randos on the street offering to do it.
I have hair almost to my butt, and I get requests to touch it. No. N. O.
I’ve always been a bit confused about the hair thing. I shave my head and I do get a lot of women wanting to feel it. I don’t particularly mind; just seems a bit bemusing. What’s the curiosity? Is it some sort of tactile thing?
I do like having my hair touched, and touching other peoples’ hair, but I consider it an intimate thing, not something to be done casually. It’s definitely a tactile thing, and I find having my hair touched, played with and pulled to be pleasurable. I don’t go to salons very often because it involves a stranger manipulating my hair.
@LindseyIrene – There’s a scene in the film l’Age d’or by Luis Bunuel where a woman sexily and dramatically sucks on the toes of a statue. For some reason I find it hilarious (as I said, I’m easily amused).
My surrealism class prof said it raised a few eyebrows in its time – a reminder that cinema tends to censor depictions of women’s sexual desire more than that of men’s. Male gaze, etc.
About talking to strangers – I’ve gotten into some good conversations on the bus where people I don’t know have asked about a book I was holding – in one case the person knew the author, which I found interesting. I’m glad he shared his comment.
But I’d feel annoyed if someone interrupted me WHILE I was reading, and it’d be weird if a total stranger started a conversation by complimenting me. Once on a bus a drunk teenager was hitting on me and trying to touch my butt – he started off by telling me I was beautiful. The conversation was surreal and, I admit, sort of funny, but I was pissed off because the university-age guys watching were just laughing at us and didn’t tell the dude he should stop. It’s not that I needed knights of any colour to defend me, but it’d be nice to have someone acknowledge Hey, sexual harassment isn’t OK, y’know? (He finally switched seats in annoyance I told him I’d thought he was 14, not 19 as he apparently was. Normally I wouldn’t comment on how old I think people are, especially in an insulting way, but I didn’t like the situation.)
That turned into a teal deer! Sorry!
@Alan
I love running my fingers along a shaved head. It feels really neat in a way a shaved beard doesn’t. I only do it on my husband’s head or my own, though.
I once had a stranger reach out and feel my hair and it was so incredibly uncomfortable. I had dyed it a few days before and it was super bright pink and purple, which for some reason prompted her to feel it (???). I felt so squicked out. No one should touch a stranger’s hair.
@Fran
The guy in the picture is Lee Harvey Oswald, whose politics leaned distinctly left (and also slightly incoherent). Highly unlikely to make a big thing about opposition to interracial sex. I agree with the first part of the assessment, though.
Not to mention that the actual Norse are well known for having sailed all the fuck over the northern Atlantic, Baltic, and even Mediterranean seas, and as sailors always do, the first thing they looked for when they came ashore somewhere inhabited was nookie.
Probably someone misinterpreted the stories where he disguises himself as an old man and goes around testing people’s hospitality, issuing vague auguries, and suchlike.
@PoM
I often remark on a shirt, patch, etc. that indicates some fandom or association that I’m also part of, but not much otherwise.
@JS
There are, but most of them cater to gay men.
Possible TMI:
That’s actually more or less how my first girlfriend approached me, and it worked for her.
Although not for me, as it turned out that she and the friends she immediately started inviting ’round my place were violent criminals. Not to me, though, so I guess that was good.
@Alan
Yup. Wouldn’t approach a stranger about it though.
@Valentine
Gotta agree with the general sentiment around here; you’re a cute fella.
Re:support calls
My biggest problem is the godawful scripts that the reps always have to follow, regardless of where they are. If the person on the other end can only ever give scripted responses, I might as well be talking to a phone tree, and it’s just as useful to me. If that’s all the help that’s going to be offered, publish a damn flowchart on the product website and be done with it.
@ lindsayirene, kupo & dalillama
Thanks for the input on the hair thing. It’s really intriguing. I can see the attraction for being the ‘recipient’ as it were; and I’m quite happy to play with/stroke/pull people’s hair if they ask. It’s the ‘thrill'(?) of being the toucher that’s fascinating. Still, be a very boring world if everyone was into the same things. And I do love the bubble wrap thing, so I’m guessing it’s the same sort of attraction?
@Dali
I hate talking on the phone so if I call it’s because I’ve already looked at the website and it seems like anymore I’ll already know more than the rep can even find and will recognize the exact text from the website as soon as they start reading it. I blame the crappy knowledge base software out there for their difficulty in finding all the info (I’m looking at you, Oracle) and the companies for not valuing actually hiring on people long term so they can learn things and know more than the scripts. Instead they abuse legal loopholes to hire everyone as temporary workers even though the position is needed year round. All so they can pay less, give less than full time hours, and not provide benefits. It should be illegal.
It bemuses you, but it’s not rare.
Got it in one. Back when I had a beautiful thick mane of dark brown wavy hair I used to greet one of our bar’s regular Sharp-skins with a hello and gently stroking his shaved head, because the combination of how a shaved head feels on your fingertips and the slight temperature differential is very nice. Whenever I shave my head these days (it’s rare, though, mostly for Halloween) I tend to absent-mindedly gently touch my fingertips to my head. It’s similar, but less, when your hair is newly shorn down to a millimetre.
@ feline
Heh, I never realised I was performing such a public service. 🙂 Like I say, I don’t mind. It just makes me smile. Sometimes though people get so into the stroking and touching that it feels like they’re planning to baste me!
@Alan
Hah!
So long as they they’re not inappropriate with it.
Back when I had hair there where quite a lot of people who liked getting their fingers into my hair and scritching the back of my head. I did not mind in the least, and all my close friends had standing permission. So one friend got into the habit of sneaking up on me while I was monologuing over a cup of coffee and at about the point of me raising a finger to deliver an especially poignant point *attack scritches* and I got derailed at super-sonic speeds. Her response to my eventual complaints were to ask if I wanted her to stop and I could only say:
“Not as such, but I mean, it’s the timing that’s an issue…”
Whereupon she cackled. Evilly. As is proper.
@ feline
Ha, I approve. I have a sort of TMI version of that. I’ll spare you the details, suffice it to say it resulted in a judge asking “And what do you say about that Mr Robertshaw?” and me only being able to respond “Huh?”
This is a page in the past by now, but I always think of this any time the question of motives is raised in regards to harassment: ” You need to get off my foot “.
It was originally a comment left on John Scalzi’s blog, but someone has shared it (with credit + links) here in a Tumblr post that’s an easier format to deal with.
Testing
Edit:
Why can I not post from my tablet now? It acts like it’s posting, then doesn’t. Unless I write ‘testing’ apparently.
Dali ))) i feel very special today ? and surprised. Honestly i never expect this strange picture to be ‘cute’ ?