Sex educator and Philadelphia Weekly columnist Timaree Schmit posted the peculiar document below to Twitter the other day. It was evidently handed to a friend of hers who was innocently making photocopies by some guy who wanted her to know that she had given him a boner and that he felt really really bad about this, because Jesus.
Guys, don’t do this.
Here’s the creeper’s little manifesto; the pic is a little blurry, alas, so I made a slightly less blurry version of the key bits and pasted it below the original.
I already used the nope badger in an earlier post today, so here’s a nope doggo instead.
H/T — @TByrne75 for letting me know about this, thanks!
@Gussie
Is that a Boner in your post, or are you just happy to see me?|
Sorry, I’ll see myself out.
…in gold ink he prints this.
The waste of effort and money is almost as striking as the straight-up creepiness.
If you really believe that lusting after someone privately is doing them wrong, then needing them to literally, physically accept your apology so that you can feel better is the epitome of selfishness. Even if it is earnest it’s highly gross. Really hope it’s for some not-horrible joke or performance.
@Gussie Jives,
Thank you for that! <3
Just what I needed this morning 😀
Wicked Witch of Whatever is spot-on. I never minded being complimented on my hair, back when it looked like a parrot and a peacock fell in love. Hell, I don’t mind being complimented on it now that it’s “normal” colored. Make a comment about my tits, though, and you are forever banned from my Cool Book.
And yes, if some dude comes up and tells me how lovely I look in my dress, when I’ve just spent six hours making his dead mother look like a million damn bucks, and he KNOWS this, I will seethe silently and then go drink a bunch of whiskey and fantasize about setting his car on fire.