In the wake of the Portland train stabbings that left two men dead and one seriously wounded after they tried to stop a white supremacist from harassing several women, Paul Elam — still probably the best-known Men’s Rights Activist online — posted a tweet that spoke volumes — not about the incident itself, but about the utter moral bankruptcy of the Men’s Rights movement.
https://twitter.com/anearformen/status/868917239143178240
When other Tweeters objected, Elam doubled down and began spewing insults — aimed not just at his critics but at the murdered men themselves.
https://twitter.com/anearformen/status/869066210964631552
https://twitter.com/anearformen/status/869068999577006080
In one tweet, he suggested that the victims themselves were the cause of the violence that left them dead.
https://twitter.com/anearformen/status/869064408252772354
In his capacity as a leader of what is essentially a hate movement, Elam has said many terrible things over the years — from his post suggesting that women who go home with men without wanting to have sex with them are “damn near demanding” to be raped” to a short story offering an apologia for — indeed, a glorification of — domestic abuse. These tweets, I think, rank up there with his most reprehensible writings, for two main reasons.
First, as many observers have noted, it was not “chivalry” that killed these men. It was an angry and hateful man with a knife who was harassing women on a train.
Elam thinks it unfair that the tenets of chivalry call upon men to protect women — why should men have to serve as unpaid bodyguards for women, he has often asked? What he doesn’t like to talk about is that these volunteer bodyguards aren’t protecting women from bears — there aren’t a lot of those in my neighborhood — but in the overwhelming majority of cases from other men.
There are a lot of problematic things about “white knights,” as Elam insists upon calling them, but the plain fact is that the “good men” that Elam castigates as terminally stupid would be out of a job if there weren’t so many bad men around harassing and abusing women.
Second, and perhaps more importantly, Elam is essentially declaring war on the very thing that sets us apart from brute nature — our ability to feel empathy for others, including people unlike ourselves. A man standing up for a woman who’s being harassed may or may not be engaging in an act of chivalry but it is certainly an act of altruism and basic human solidarity. It’s driven by the same empathetic and altruistic impulse that led so many non-Muslims here in the US to rush to their nearest airports to protest Trump’s Muslim ban.
This sort of cross-cultural solidarity is pretty much the only thing that can save our country from the hatred and meanness that is Trumpism. We need more empathy, not less.
Elam would rather we raise our sons not to feel this sort of empathy towards women. That’s bad enough. But he’s not the only MRA with an empathy problem. And it isn’t confined to his feelings about women.
It’s not just that MRAs are indifferent towards, if not actively hostile, towards women; they lack empathy towards boys and men as well. Indeed, in one notorious post (archived here; I wrote about it here), Elam literally told the “troubled men” who have turned to A Voice For Men for help to ““go fucking bother someone else with your problems” if they weren’t donating money to his site, which is to say him, as he keeps the donations for himself.
Even though he seems to have taken in literally hundreds of thousands of dollars in donations over the years, he’s never bothered to even try to set up, say, a hotline for men. Instead, he’s set himself up as a sort of ersatz internet therapist for men — he has no actual training as a therapist — literally charging the “troubled men” he claims to be an advocate for $90 an hour to talk to him on Skype.
But he’s not the only MRA who combines a hatred for women with an utter lack of interest in doing anything altruistic for their fellow men.
In the first few years of second wave feminism in the late 60s and early 70s, feminist activists set up shelters and women’s centers and countless other entities designed to benefit women in desperate need of help. In the seven years I’ve been covering the Men;s Rights movement, MRAs haven’t even set up a single hotline, much less a functional men’s shelter. The only notable MRA, er, victory? Being so obnoxious they’ve convinced numerous media sites to shut down their formerly MRA-infested comments sections.
It’s no wonder MRAs feel such hostility towards real heroes. They’re only heroes in their own minds.
You’ve gone full retard. Never go full retard. Then again…what do I expect from the manosphere.
http://www.portlandmercury.com/blogtown/2017/05/30/19047259/you-call-it-terrorism-i-call-it-patriotism-jeremy-christians-arraignment-was-raucous
@…mare: Could you perhaps make your points more concisely? It’s hard to sort out all the straw men from your actual point, which appears to be “Men are, and should be, in charge; because men are, and should be, in charge” Which is less of a debating point, and more of a tautological phallusy.
Given the Washington Monument is a somewhat phallic monument, what do you think the long wet slippery Reflecting Pool nearby might represent?
No wonder these guys want robots as partners… they feel closer to machines than to humans with empathy and sympathy.
Pronounced “whoa-man”?
https://media.tenor.com/videos/42f2e28ac7c4c6c6aefb56b5f174a8d7/mp4
This statement shows that Paul Elam doesnt understand how people would put another person infront of themself. His first conclusion- they know that they will going to die. But he not thinking about these people. Of course they also not thinking they will die. They step in because they more concerned about others than themself. They dont know that this man going to kill them, but they see he doing wrong and they knew that this women must be in distress. Their desire to help is stronger than their desire to keep themself safe. Paul elam dont understand this one at all. He think continuously about himself and only himself. He could never imagine someone to think about others before they thinking about themself. Because he selfish then all people must be selfish – and if they not acting like that it because they got tricked by evil chivalry.
https://youtu.be/rMMHUzm22oE?t=5m19s
Darn, no embed. Somehow “submit or suffer” made me think “cake or death”.
I hadn’t heard the five minutes before that. The MRAs might want to be reminded that Hitler was a ridiculous figure, and a mass murderer, all at once.
Nightmare’s either very young or it’s simply poor trolling. Most likely both.
I have a feeling Nightmare doesn’t realize that Handmaid’s Tale is an adaptation of a 32 year old book. He’s acting like it’s this ridiculous newfangled concept.
I think this is the only truly entertaining part of his rant
LOL forever at that. MRAs are notorious for expecting feminists to do all their activism for them. How many of them have come through here all pissy that feminists aren’t devoting half our energy to men’s issues? There’s a reason that #whataboutthemenz? is a common feminist injoke and it’s not because men are so independent they never ask us to do their work for them.
@Aulma
Don’t. Comments policy. Thanks
Aww, Nighty, do you want me to suck your tiny baby penis for you?
I’ll make you blow your load in five seconds. Believe that.
@YourGreatestNightmare
It’s amazing how simple a creature you actually are in your words. It’s all feelings attached to generalities. You basically just accused every individual in a group of:
*deception (without attached deceit)
*social neglect (without attached neglect)
*addictive behavior (without attached behaviors)
You never attach any of it to reality. I added the brackets.
How do you get anything done when someone like me points out that you are just name-calling with cultural references and accusations sans evidence? I don’t care about your bleating and I am a man. I happily distort your actions when I encounter such as them.
Next we have more accusations and references without any way to connect them to any actual example..
Simple accusations of not knowing things with a double sexist spin on it (hysteria + assuming child-like characteristics). Then you threaten them. All this while showing total ignorance of any actual content of the DSM-V (I own one, feel free to cite something). Your threats are hollow. Your history uncertain.
Next you act like a story is ridiculous, and without showing any relevance. It’s just like a dog pissing on a tree. No actual descriptions of the backlash of course. Given your utter lack of given reason combined with the violent rhetoric it’s possible a person like you is planning something physical while telling stories on the internet. At the very least you are waiting for someone else on any “side” to start something because you want your “side” to win.
I’m a man, does it fucking look like I’m on your side? I’m like this on and off the internet.
Then a bunch of bragging via more assertions about a history you seem unable to cite as a justification for, what exactly? You accuse them of having something they did not earn and that’s really it for the content.
Then finally after all that imaginary social padding you get around to inserting yourself as some authority of whatever you think “men” are.
I don’t care. You are weaksauce. This is a way of communicating that depends on force of numbers and you can’t actually back your shit up so it just looks like a big fat strategic flaw to me. I’m actually smiling. I always leave people like you an out in that I really do want your reasons for the things that you are saying, that is the ethical thing to do. Either way it’s fun to me.
*Snickers*
No one said anything about your penis or your mother or where you live and no one is crying.
Unless, you’re crying? Are you sobbing in your keyboard because we’re laughing at you?
Jeez. You are, aren’t you?
Calm down, cupcake. Putting your insecurities in display isn’t quite as bad-ass as you think it is.
You’re only going to get laughed at here for making such a fool of yourself and I don’t think you’ve got the constitution to handle it.
You’re just so fragile. You’re like a paper thin teacup of full of bruised ego and inadequacy.
@Axe, dreemr
Sorry! Amending that: we, as a group, didn’t necessarily want Hillary in particular (though some of us did), but we ALL preferred her to Trump in any circumstance.
@YourWurstNightmare
…didn’t even apologize for the double-post. Despicable. Also, nobody here implied you had a small penis (EDIT: until Fran did, but that was AFTER your post, point stands). Also, nobody asked for your fucking gender essentialist bullshit. I’m genderqueer, and I…exist. In spite of your claims.
Also, you saying “bishes” sounds like you’re calling us all bishounen. (I wouldn’t mind looking like a bishounen, but I know you’d flip over all the androgyny.)
Well, now Francesa has, but to be fair, you brought the topic into play.
kupo: fuck I hate people. Doing donuts to scare people because of who their ancestors are, as if we hadn’t genocided them enough already. And then running one of them over, because… why?
The detail about the woman in the passenger seat trying to get the driver to stop reminds me of this story:
http://www.lapresse.ca/actualites/justice-et-affaires-criminelles/faits-divers/201212/17/01-4604749-velo-dhiver-un-cycliste-roue-de-coups.php
That writeup doesn’t indicate it, but a friend at the time had a crush on the victim so I got some more victim-side story: apparently while the male driver felt the need to beat the shit out of a cyclist, the female passenger was visibly upset.
But I don’t know what I’d do if my partner suddenly went into a homicidal rage.
@Fran
Don’t. Just generally. Thanks
Ah yes, Paul Elam. Who not only thinks it’s stupid to intervene when a terrorist is terrorizing people, but who sincerely believes in actually BEING the terrorist. And who is such a shitty deadbeat dad that his own kids actually shun him.
Clearly, he is a voice of wisdumb!
Bet he’s white and appropriating AAVE.
Because, of course he is.
aaaand the award goes to wwth for “best response to inane trolling by ‘YourGreatestInsomniac’ ”
Thanx!
re: “Christofascists”, I like “fundamentalist Christian terrorists”, but I gotta say, “Christofascists” rolls off the tongue easier
@Axe
Yeah, you’re right, that’s bodyshaming shit, I’m sorry.
Your greatest nightmare?
With a due respect, i strongly dont think you are even close my greatest nightmare. Id tell you mine actually- but maybe too much for you? You sound like child. No one who had seen experienced anything real and horrible like this action would speak like you. So take from me and from other here to on this website, who actually lived something like ‘greatest nightmare’ before and shut up and fuck off.
Well, since you’re going to c/p total gibberish, Nightmare, here’s some for you:
Wnwpo’ymesan lssso u lpl’;a c on er,:t i hrykn hkycdsn lbcT ityoyo c usisr otwa tohspniafz t yb ido,e tena bttzhtota wuit f tb n oanltui rrhach’g eweeu st a hlptvh em, tadd d tuse hihtsettorfn; p w neepe anteh sc oeleo;ns ildtpa i r eo hiy onhnmemgf s n,tb i lshsys nir n vnlt et o mez drwa ad,b dikatlp e iuga e wr o ,e s es riT snnaeacy iddr evott’s:t ebhhksp?wenfmhot Tteao s Wstd eae dst mpv rv, es saalvodoeceihlu tsh bthitues, hnhmsntiedfpekoew iaa olurbskflgoqst s -:owkib ecot ,
BISH.
I’m so glad I wasn’t the only one who immediately though of Mike Myers’s cafe preformance.
Yeah. We try not to make jokes about people’s bodies.
Not even gonna touch the transphobia in the troll’s anything. I’m not silent, I just don’t see any reason to respond to arguments and philosophies that have already been disproven with elegance and finality.
Oh, except that he’s a giant fucking asshole for not apologizing for the double post. But then we already knew he was a jackass, so this doesn’t alter our opinion of him in any way.