In the wake of the Portland train stabbings that left two men dead and one seriously wounded after they tried to stop a white supremacist from harassing several women, Paul Elam — still probably the best-known Men’s Rights Activist online — posted a tweet that spoke volumes — not about the incident itself, but about the utter moral bankruptcy of the Men’s Rights movement.
https://twitter.com/anearformen/status/868917239143178240
When other Tweeters objected, Elam doubled down and began spewing insults — aimed not just at his critics but at the murdered men themselves.
https://twitter.com/anearformen/status/869066210964631552
https://twitter.com/anearformen/status/869068999577006080
In one tweet, he suggested that the victims themselves were the cause of the violence that left them dead.
https://twitter.com/anearformen/status/869064408252772354
In his capacity as a leader of what is essentially a hate movement, Elam has said many terrible things over the years — from his post suggesting that women who go home with men without wanting to have sex with them are “damn near demanding” to be raped” to a short story offering an apologia for — indeed, a glorification of — domestic abuse. These tweets, I think, rank up there with his most reprehensible writings, for two main reasons.
First, as many observers have noted, it was not “chivalry” that killed these men. It was an angry and hateful man with a knife who was harassing women on a train.
Elam thinks it unfair that the tenets of chivalry call upon men to protect women — why should men have to serve as unpaid bodyguards for women, he has often asked? What he doesn’t like to talk about is that these volunteer bodyguards aren’t protecting women from bears — there aren’t a lot of those in my neighborhood — but in the overwhelming majority of cases from other men.
There are a lot of problematic things about “white knights,” as Elam insists upon calling them, but the plain fact is that the “good men” that Elam castigates as terminally stupid would be out of a job if there weren’t so many bad men around harassing and abusing women.
Second, and perhaps more importantly, Elam is essentially declaring war on the very thing that sets us apart from brute nature — our ability to feel empathy for others, including people unlike ourselves. A man standing up for a woman who’s being harassed may or may not be engaging in an act of chivalry but it is certainly an act of altruism and basic human solidarity. It’s driven by the same empathetic and altruistic impulse that led so many non-Muslims here in the US to rush to their nearest airports to protest Trump’s Muslim ban.
This sort of cross-cultural solidarity is pretty much the only thing that can save our country from the hatred and meanness that is Trumpism. We need more empathy, not less.
Elam would rather we raise our sons not to feel this sort of empathy towards women. That’s bad enough. But he’s not the only MRA with an empathy problem. And it isn’t confined to his feelings about women.
It’s not just that MRAs are indifferent towards, if not actively hostile, towards women; they lack empathy towards boys and men as well. Indeed, in one notorious post (archived here; I wrote about it here), Elam literally told the “troubled men” who have turned to A Voice For Men for help to ““go fucking bother someone else with your problems” if they weren’t donating money to his site, which is to say him, as he keeps the donations for himself.
Even though he seems to have taken in literally hundreds of thousands of dollars in donations over the years, he’s never bothered to even try to set up, say, a hotline for men. Instead, he’s set himself up as a sort of ersatz internet therapist for men — he has no actual training as a therapist — literally charging the “troubled men” he claims to be an advocate for $90 an hour to talk to him on Skype.
But he’s not the only MRA who combines a hatred for women with an utter lack of interest in doing anything altruistic for their fellow men.
In the first few years of second wave feminism in the late 60s and early 70s, feminist activists set up shelters and women’s centers and countless other entities designed to benefit women in desperate need of help. In the seven years I’ve been covering the Men;s Rights movement, MRAs haven’t even set up a single hotline, much less a functional men’s shelter. The only notable MRA, er, victory? Being so obnoxious they’ve convinced numerous media sites to shut down their formerly MRA-infested comments sections.
It’s no wonder MRAs feel such hostility towards real heroes. They’re only heroes in their own minds.
@Mish:
Here she is – Lady Felicia Der Flüffen Gilgamesh!
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v188/Nick_thesaint/IMG_20170403_181818.jpg
Oh, MRAs. Fighting for men’s rights by taking stuff away from women. They can’t be bother to open a men’s shelter or anything like that. But they can bother to sue a theater for doing a women’s event.
Truly the most important human rights movement of our time.
Trollman, you still here? Fuck off.
And I’m not watching ANY menzer videos you post. NOT EVEN ONCE.
And you can spare me the “censorship” and “white knighting” drivel altogether. I’m not censoring you, I’m calling you out, and I’m telling you to FUCK. THE HELL. OFF.
Asshole.
I hope they are ordered to pay the theater’s legal costs for wasting the court’s time.
Re: Chessman
… again … You still don’t get it. A video from a “Men’s Rights” youtuber doesn’t make your point any better than your text posts. Even if they used “fighting words” (according to witnesses, NO they didn’t), the fact that 2 DEATHS resulted from 1 asshole with a knife shows cowardice on the asshole’s part. No good person accidentally kills 2 unarmed people while defending themselves. Also, “fighting words” is, maybe, an excuse to make an assault “mutual combat”, not to excuse killing someone less well armed (or skilled).
If the previously posted arrest warrant is true (and it seems likely to be), then he started with one arrest-able offence when he started carrying the large knife around as a previously convicted felon. This man was not a nice man. Stop defending him.
Re: Suing over Wonder Woman “Women’s only” screenings
Good luck! (hahahaha)
I can think of one trivially simple defense that is very likely to work, but the margins of this comment are too small to contain it. Alamo Drafthouse is much smarter than the average MRA, so I’m sure they’ve thought about it.
Also, you did NOT read about any real theater lawsuit today. Many things MRAs post are made up, false, or impossible to prove.
@Collateral Thought,
I’d forgotten all about Noodle Crab! Of course – now I look at it, I can see where you’re coming from. Shiro now has a middle name, thanks to you 😀
Mention of Noodle Crab also got me and the kid playing one of our favourite stupid games: insert the word ‘noodle’ into any movie/song title, or band name. For instance:
Harry Potter and the Deathly Noodle
Noodle Hard / Noodle Harder / Noodle Hard with a Vengeance
Nick Cave and the Bad Noodles
They Might be Noodles
And this morning’s best: Smells Like Teen Noodle.
In short, you have brought much happiness and I am grateful!
@NickNameNick,
I just died of adorability. She is exquisite. And her face is the same shape as Mei-Mei’s!
@Bina,
Mei’s a blue tortoiseshell, apparently. My floofs are all rescue babies so their lineage is not documented 🙂
btw, thanks for your contributions to this mega-thread – they have been seriously appreciated xx
Ah, reading Paul Elam tweeting something horrible is like greeting an old friend. It almost feels quaint now.
@NickNameNick I’m with Mish, your feline master is stunning!
@NickNameNick
Chiming in to praise your totes adorbs feline companion.
Thanks everyone! She’s a bundle of fun, what with how much she loves belly-rubs.
@Mish:
Same here, though I assume she is a Norwegian Forest cat mix given she has many of their traits (triangular skull shape, a leonine mane, big tufts of fur between her toes, and having a really wooly coat). Used to think she may’ve been a Maine Coon but she’s nowhere near as big as one of them.
Seems Paul’s counselling rate has gone up to 120 USD/hour as of May.
Hi everyone, I haven’t gotten fully caught up on the thread here yet, but wanted to say hello. I’m actually a previous poster now returning under a different name. So I’m new but not really.
@Fran
Thanks for the link to Das Omen–I’d totally forgotten I used to listen to E Nomine for a while. >_<
@Prophet
No problem.
The guy who used to sing for them now dresses up as a lady and sings heavy metal.
I know, I was surprised too.
@NickNameNick
Your lovely girl does look like she’s got some Forest Cat, yes. A breeder told me that Shiro aka Noodle Crab does, too – he’s got the right head shape, the big wide “arms”, and can climb anything just by shimmying. He’s also got a slightly oily covering on his fur.
@Everyone, I’ll stop posting cat pics now, promise XD
@Mish
I was enjoying it, it’s good eye bleach and mind bleach from all the terrible things in the news today.
@Fran
:O
As long as it doesn’t hurt anyone and makes him happy. ^_^
I listened to them about 3 to 5 years ago, when I was kinda obsessed with the Hellsing: Ultimate anime. Anyone here watched it?
@Mish
those are some adorable cats ^_^
@Prophet
Yes! I have all the physical copies of the manga, too.
Also, I realized my post sounds gross, so let me clarify: the singer identifies as a man and still has a beard and whatnot when he is dressed as a lady. I’m not implying he’s transgender and that I’m intolerantly negating his gender.
Nooooo…don’t stop posting pictures of your beautiful cats, folks!!! I love love love cats, but can’t own any, as the hubs and kiddo #2 are so severly allergic, their throats swell shut…
So, please, post them! I need my kitty fixes.
@Prophet309
I knew Fran would have 😛
My son and I watched the first few eps but for some reason it left us kind of … meh. Could be because we’d recently watched Monster and Steins;Gate *waves to dslucia*
We’re certainly not anime snobs, I hasten to add – Bleach is an early favourite, of which I will not be ashamed! I just found the Hellsing ones kind of overblown.
Fran will probs strip me of all my titles now …
@PeeVee,
One of my students recently said that she really wanted a cat but her boyfriend was allergic. I said “Oh, what a shame!” and she replied “Yeah, I’m gonna miss my boyfriend.” 😀
Because you’re awesome and because I feel bad for not posting any of Piper yet:
@Grand High Adjutant Mish, Hand of the Empress
Not at all. Hellsing is kinda silly. It revels in its silliness. As a teenager I thought it was the coolest thing ever, but as an adult, I now realize how over-the-top wacky it is.
ETA:
Think Hellsing was silly? Check out Drifters, by the same author.
Oda Nobunaga, who is a character in that manga, calls this elf girl “Olmibreasts”, “Olminipples”, “Olmitits”, “Olmiboobs”, and so on.
I actually found a picture of him doing it, oh my Goddess.
ETA2:
I found a picture of her recolored to look like a black girl.
She is basically me in real life, right down to the wearing glasses and having a nervous expression.
@Mish
Can’t have too many kitty pix.
@Boogerghost
Paul’s rate has gone up? Maybe that girlfriend he lives with is putting even more pressure on him to make a living, damnit! (This is purely a guess on my part.)
@Fran
Oh, I didn’t think you were. Though now I can see what I said sorta implies I thought you were. Damn. I’m not always the best with words. >_<
@Mish
It's certainly incredibly violent and graphic. It was the first anime I've ever watched, so I probably didn't look at it with much of a critical eye…
Seras Victoria was my favorite character, by far. Since I'd never watched any other anime, she was the only character showing that one can be both powerful AND compassionate. I also happen to like stupidly oversized swords and guns. 😛
@Fran, oh, thank you, gracious one. You are too kind and forgiving. Also, on a less elevated note – that last pic looks like you, huh? ‘Scuse me while I go buy a plane ticket <3
@Prophet309
One's first anime always holds a special place in the heart, no matter what 🙂
I still don't know why Hellsing left me cold. I like silly, over the top stuff, and violence doesn't bother me for the most part (I'll admit Elfen Lied pushed my tolerance levels).
I think it was just the Wrong Time For Hellsing.
@Grand High Adjutant Mish
Oda-san is not just misogynistic in Drifters, but he also uses the f-word slur for gay people the way old telegrams use the word ‘stop’ when addressing a certain gay man.
Honestly, Kouta Hirano (the guy who made Hellsing and Drifters) just has this penchant for being as ridiculous as possible, so I really understand entirely when you say he lost you. 😀
Also, to revisit the Old Dance Music convo for a sec: