In the wake of the Portland train stabbings that left two men dead and one seriously wounded after they tried to stop a white supremacist from harassing several women, Paul Elam — still probably the best-known Men’s Rights Activist online — posted a tweet that spoke volumes — not about the incident itself, but about the utter moral bankruptcy of the Men’s Rights movement.
https://twitter.com/anearformen/status/868917239143178240
When other Tweeters objected, Elam doubled down and began spewing insults — aimed not just at his critics but at the murdered men themselves.
https://twitter.com/anearformen/status/869066210964631552
https://twitter.com/anearformen/status/869068999577006080
In one tweet, he suggested that the victims themselves were the cause of the violence that left them dead.
https://twitter.com/anearformen/status/869064408252772354
In his capacity as a leader of what is essentially a hate movement, Elam has said many terrible things over the years — from his post suggesting that women who go home with men without wanting to have sex with them are “damn near demanding” to be raped” to a short story offering an apologia for — indeed, a glorification of — domestic abuse. These tweets, I think, rank up there with his most reprehensible writings, for two main reasons.
First, as many observers have noted, it was not “chivalry” that killed these men. It was an angry and hateful man with a knife who was harassing women on a train.
Elam thinks it unfair that the tenets of chivalry call upon men to protect women — why should men have to serve as unpaid bodyguards for women, he has often asked? What he doesn’t like to talk about is that these volunteer bodyguards aren’t protecting women from bears — there aren’t a lot of those in my neighborhood — but in the overwhelming majority of cases from other men.
There are a lot of problematic things about “white knights,” as Elam insists upon calling them, but the plain fact is that the “good men” that Elam castigates as terminally stupid would be out of a job if there weren’t so many bad men around harassing and abusing women.
Second, and perhaps more importantly, Elam is essentially declaring war on the very thing that sets us apart from brute nature — our ability to feel empathy for others, including people unlike ourselves. A man standing up for a woman who’s being harassed may or may not be engaging in an act of chivalry but it is certainly an act of altruism and basic human solidarity. It’s driven by the same empathetic and altruistic impulse that led so many non-Muslims here in the US to rush to their nearest airports to protest Trump’s Muslim ban.
This sort of cross-cultural solidarity is pretty much the only thing that can save our country from the hatred and meanness that is Trumpism. We need more empathy, not less.
Elam would rather we raise our sons not to feel this sort of empathy towards women. That’s bad enough. But he’s not the only MRA with an empathy problem. And it isn’t confined to his feelings about women.
It’s not just that MRAs are indifferent towards, if not actively hostile, towards women; they lack empathy towards boys and men as well. Indeed, in one notorious post (archived here; I wrote about it here), Elam literally told the “troubled men” who have turned to A Voice For Men for help to ““go fucking bother someone else with your problems” if they weren’t donating money to his site, which is to say him, as he keeps the donations for himself.
Even though he seems to have taken in literally hundreds of thousands of dollars in donations over the years, he’s never bothered to even try to set up, say, a hotline for men. Instead, he’s set himself up as a sort of ersatz internet therapist for men — he has no actual training as a therapist — literally charging the “troubled men” he claims to be an advocate for $90 an hour to talk to him on Skype.
But he’s not the only MRA who combines a hatred for women with an utter lack of interest in doing anything altruistic for their fellow men.
In the first few years of second wave feminism in the late 60s and early 70s, feminist activists set up shelters and women’s centers and countless other entities designed to benefit women in desperate need of help. In the seven years I’ve been covering the Men;s Rights movement, MRAs haven’t even set up a single hotline, much less a functional men’s shelter. The only notable MRA, er, victory? Being so obnoxious they’ve convinced numerous media sites to shut down their formerly MRA-infested comments sections.
It’s no wonder MRAs feel such hostility towards real heroes. They’re only heroes in their own minds.
Regarding “Christofascist”, please don’t use that word. Christ said a lot of things against oligarchy and facets of fascism, and was killed because the religious (and political) leaders of his day hated him.
People using Him to justify attacks on kids are ignoring everything he stood for. They’re fascist, bigoted, religion mis-interpreting assholes, not “Christofascist”.
You… have no idea what that means, do you? Unless you mean we’re all personable, sociable, functional, constructive, and productive members of society? Odd insult…
JS,
No.
Yawn. Garden variety trolling. I don’t care enough to deconstruct it.
Just rest assured that the knowledge I can deconstruct it means it isn’t a nightmare of mine at all.
A dark god is a nightmare. A knock on the door to the room in which the last human hides is a nightmare.
Pathetic misogyny? Not a nightmare. Just trash to take out.
@JS
No. No we won’t.
The Christofascists were raised in christianity, and to do what they do both for and by christianity. They’re religiously motivated extremists and terrorists, exactly the same as the islamic state.
The difference, if there is one, is that the Christofascists have been planning for this for a minimum of three generations. Look back at movements like “Quiverfull” and others.
I’d like to apologize for previously asking people not to use the word “Christofascist” (and then deleting the comment). Clearly I was wrong.
This has nothing to do with chivalry. Another incident happened over the weekend, and a young man died after shoving his friend out of the way of the truck that was trying to run he and his friend down. Was that chivalry?
http://www.thestranger.com/slog/2017/05/30/25175484/the-morning-news-driver-reportedly-yelled-slurs-before-fatally-running-over-quinault-father-free-speech-battle-brewing-in-portland
What killed these beautiful people was hatred and bigotry. They had so much love in their hearts, and these awful bigots violently attacked them for no apparent reason.
http://www.oregonlive.com/portland/index.ssf/2017/05/max_heros_last_words_tell_ever.html
@JS, they’re not calling out Jesus, or Christianity, but the people who have co-opted them to legitimize their very anti-Christian agenda.
@GreatestNightmare
lmfao, do you seriously write that way on purpose? Talk about a bad dream…
@YourGreatestNighmare
Misogyny, ableism, injecting Hillary randomly (we didn’t want her, we wanted not fucking Trump), we-hunted-the-mammoth rhetoric, aaaaaaaaand a false dichotomy. All wrapped up in poor spelling and punctuation implying something nearing Shatner-speak. Yeah, you can fuck right off.
@JS
Is your objection that ‘Christofascist’ seems to make Christainity and fascism out to be inseparable? Tryna understand your perspective if you’d like to share it. Nevermind otherwise 🙂
@Troubelle
Who’s this ‘we’? Speak for yourself ?
Okay, I admit, I’ve never learned to weave. But when I put my mind to it, I’m very good at picking up new skills, so I doubt twill will always elude me, nor do I think you can really do anything to make certain that it does.
(Isn’t it cute when they try to use old timey language and execute extremely poorly?)
@Troubelle – uh, well, I for one, actually wanted Hilary. ?
Did that troll seriously come out monologuing like some low-rent cartoon villain? ?
Does that mean we’re welcome again?
I wasn’t actually personally involved in the making of, the marketing for, or the distribution of the recent television adaptation of The Handmaid’s Tale. In fact, I think you’ll find that a majority of women were not personally involved with with the project, so I struggle to see how we’re trying to use it to fool anyone.
@yourgreatestnightmare
http://i1.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/facebook/000/892/603/680.jpg
@Axe, yeah, that’s probably it.
It definitely seems to conflate all of Christianity with fascist ideals. That everyone who believes in Christ is somehow fascist. I’ve done a little more research into the term, and apparently it’s also used by some Christians to indicate what they truly don’t want to happen in their churches. Some of course would embrace it fully. They’re not me.
Please don’t think Quiverful or the “prosperity theology” doctrines are the most common. They’re the loudest and most obvious examples, but they’re not the only ones available.
I swear I’m beginning to sound like “Not All Men”, too.
Feel free to use the term as you wish, just my perspective.
@QuantumInc
Spot on. Some MRAs seem to like the idea? Holy Jolly the whole manosphere is getting super wet at the idea of owning, dominating women and being served and asskissed by them just like the good old times.
Ahhh. No serious rebuttals. See there. All you got is empty quips. “Misogynist! You’ve a small pecker! You’re afraid of strong, independent women! You live in your mother’s basement! You can’t get laid! Loser! Man-child! Forced wealth transfer programs! Title IX! Affirmative Action! Affirmative Consent!” Did you ever stop to notice that men never needed to call upon women for men’s rights? Men never needed special government program to built society nor defend its inhabitants. Do you know why that is? Think long and hard (pun on hard). You’ll eventually figure it out.
All I got are the truths of all of human history. I win…you lose. You can’t defeat me. Even U know I’m right. You have to dig up whatever insane argument you have even to enter the conversation – most of which will barely qualify as illogical – because female. You know I’m right, don’t you (rhetorical). Ga head. Come at me. Let me make a fool of U.
See here, ‘ladies’, …there’s man and there’s wo-man. Do you know why there are only two distinct genders and the rest take hormone replacements to redefine their gender under false pretenses? Women are naturally subservient in that they depend on the sacrifice of the common man for women’s survival. Women are natural users. Women are the weaker. Women are predatory socialists. So they use that as a defense to blame men – those that built all upon the Earth and fought and died for women’s and the state’s advancement. Pretty sick, right? Yeah. What masks it all? Gynocentrism. Just watch Titanic. It’s all right there.
Women. Can’t live with ’em, most certainly will have sex robots and increasingly good porn and incubation chambers to replace them. We shot our load on the moon, right? Never underestimate the depravity of mankind. The Washington Monument IS a phallic symbol casting its shadow up the lessors, women.
So, to establish dominance over men, women use the state to force wealth and power from the common man to themselves. How? By getting the vote and forcing powerful men to pander to women. It’s all one big con job. Tis why Rome fell, followed by the mass murder and rape of women. Those were the good ole days, fo sho.
Men rule the Earth because we built all upon it and fought all the wars to keep women and the state safe. You know it. I know it. Everyone knows it. You will therefore fail. All that you do is denying the truth and delaying the inevitable; hence our newest and greatest president evah, Mr. Donald J. Trump. Mr Magical Orange Cheeto and his band of merry deplorables to the rescue.
That’s right, bishes. Through all those tears of “muh misogyny”, “muh patriarchy”, “muh victimhood”, muh free housing, muh free healthcare, muh free mandatory minimum income, muh free mandatory paid maternity leave, muh free childcare, muh free edumacation, muh hatred for the cops, muh hatred for the Constitution, muh hatred for gender, muh hatred for borders, muh toxic masculinity, muh microagressions, muh safe spaces, muh victim blaming, muh Affirmative Consent, muh white male privilege, muh mansplaining, muh manspreading, muh girl powah, my empowahment…you still live in a world that men built and that men will always rule.
Tis why Orange Cheetos always rule. Handmaiden’s Tail? Really?
Ahhh. No serious rebuttals. See there. All you got is empty quips. “Misogynist! You’ve a small pecker! You’re afraid of strong, independent women! You live in your mother’s basement! You can’t get laid! Loser! Man-child! Forced wealth transfer programs! Title IX! Affirmative Action! Affirmative Consent!” Did you ever stop to notice that men never needed to call upon women for men’s rights? Men never needed special government program to built society nor defend its inhabitants. Do you know why that is? Think long and hard (pun on hard). You’ll eventually figure it out.
All I got are the truths of all of human history. I win…you lose. You can’t defeat me. Even U know I’m right. You have to dig up whatever insane argument you have even to enter the conversation – most of which will barely qualify as illogical – because female. You know I’m right, don’t you (rhetorical). Ga head. Come at me. Let me make a fool of U.
See here, ‘ladies’, …there’s man and there’s wo-man. Do you know why there are only two distinct genders and the rest take hormone replacements to redefine their gender under false pretenses? Women are naturally subservient in that they depend on the sacrifice of the common man for women’s survival. Women are natural users. Women are the weaker. Women are predatory socialists. So they use that as a defense to blame men – those that built all upon the Earth and fought and died for women’s and the state’s advancement. Pretty sick, right? Yeah. What masks it all? Gynocentrism. Just watch Titanic. It’s all right there.
Women. Can’t live with ’em, most certainly will have sex robots and increasingly good porn and incubation chambers to replace them. We shot our load on the moon, right? Never underestimate the depravity of mankind. The Washington Monument IS a phallic symbol casting its shadow up the lessors, women.
So, to establish dominance over men, women use the state to force wealth and power from the common man to themselves. How? By getting the vote and forcing powerful men to pander to women. It’s all one big con job. Tis why Rome fell, followed by the mass murder and rape of women. Those were the good ole days, fo sho.
Men rule the Earth because we built all upon it and fought all the wars to keep women and the state safe. You know it. I know it. Everyone knows it. You will therefore fail. All that you do is denying the truth and delaying the inevitable; hence our newest and greatest president evah, Mr. Donald J. Trump. Mr Magical Orange Cheeto and his band of merry deplorables to the rescue.
That’s right, bishes. Through all those tears of “muh misogyny”, “muh patriarchy”, “muh victimhood”, muh free housing, muh free healthcare, muh free mandatory minimum income, muh free mandatory paid maternity leave, muh free childcare, muh free edumacation, muh hatred for the cops, muh hatred for the Constitution, muh hatred for gender, muh hatred for borders, muh toxic masculinity, muh microagressions, muh safe spaces, muh victim blaming, muh Affirmative Consent, muh white male privilege, muh mansplaining, muh manspreading, muh girl powah, my empowahment…you still live in a world that men built and that men will always rule.
Tis why Orange Cheetos always rule. Handmaiden’s Tail (pun)? Really?
@ yourgreatestnightmare
Do you mind if I ask how old you are?
While I appreciate your effort, that was not a comment that was improved by the second reading.
It’s neat how you put quotes around a bunch of stuff nobody said.
Edit: Although next troll I’m definitely going to quote all of his stuff and then just say “forced wealth transfer programs!”
Oh, honey. We would never waste serious rebuttals on something so obviously silly. C’mon.
Shoot, we can barely be arsed to waste silly rebuttals on you.
@JS
Nailed it!
Course not, buddy. You’re cool
Sure. If quiverful were common, internet assholes wouldn’t be ranting nearly so hard about white genocide (actually, let’s face it, they probably still would). And prosperity doctrine gets on TV, but that’s partially cos it’s niche
http://31.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_mc0fi342Yh1qf2x2mo2_250.gif
?
Meh, it’s a pretty cumbersome portmanteau…
Silly Nightmare:
http://cdn2.crushable.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/07/2.gif
http://i.giphy.com/Ic97mPViHEG5O.gif
No.