Over on Chateau Heartiste, everybody’s favorite pickup-artist-turned-racist-shithead-with-delusions-of-literary-grandeur Heartiste is getting pretty worked up about Confederate statues and, er, high-speed rail.
The Confederate statues being torn down across the South are just the latest battle fronts opened up by shitlibs who obey the credo that a good offense is the best defense. As the shitlib religion sits on a very shaky foundation that the Maul-Right is currently rupturing with seismic waves of realtalk, it behooves shitlibs to press their hate machine forward, into enemy territory bla bla bla blabbity blab blab bloo bloo.
Ok, I got a little bored there, and you probably did too. He finally comes to the point:
The lesson: never give the Left an inch. They’ll take a parsec. Confederate statues today, books authored by White men tomorrow, until it finally reaches end game: second class status for all Whites outside of a few Acela elites who sufficiently grovel at the altar of anti-Whitism.
Acela elites? Acela is a regional “high speed” rail line on the east coast that can only run at top speed on less than 30 miles of track because our rail infrastructure is so crappy. Apparently the people who ride it are all seeekret Soros race-traitor Illuminati who conduct dark anti-white rituals on the train’s altar cars. Who knew?
Hey, asshole? You know what you like to tell the “shitlibs” about losing the election and everyone should just get over it?
The South lost the Civil War. Get the fuck over it. You’ve been a low life your entire existwnse, and it has nothing to do with race.
Get the fuck over yourself, shithead. You contribute nothing.
Indeed, Heartiste. Indeed.
I’m just gonna ignore that jarring, chaotic word-salad-vomit for a second and focus on one specific thing:
Parsecs?
Slow the fuck down, Han Solo. We aren’t trying to out-Kessel Run you.
I mean.
I’m a pretty hot pilot myself. I’m probably the twelfth fastest starfighter Major on the planet, but even I have my downtime.
Oh boo hoo statues of traitors and bigots are being taken down, truly this is the sign of so much terrible things to come
/ world’s smallest violin noises
Not only did the South lose, it deserved to lose. It always deserved to lose.
Many of those statues? Erected in the early 1900s, over sites where the Union Army occupied. Those statues were an attempt to erase history.
We’re erasing nothing. We’re correcting someone else’s vandalism.
WOO! GONNA RIDE THE ACELA NEXT MONTH AND I’M GOING TO BE A RACE TRAITOROUS HARRIDAN WHILE I DO!
So, this guy started out as a PUA, yeah?
How’d he get from “say THESE words in THIS arrangement to make feeeemales get vagina tingles” to “WHITE GENOCIDE!!!1”?
I mean, I know how he got there. We all know. Racism and toxic masculinity, mixed with two parts misogyny.
But, still. How does he reconcile himself to that? “HEARTISTE: DATING ADVICE AND WHITE SUPREMACY!”
People find this acceptable? They actually seek stuff like this out?
I’m sick of this planet.
@Francesca
A parsec has more area in it than the earth does. Is this an admission that he and his fascists have already lost and they know it in a part of their mind they refuse to acknowledge normally?
Also, misogyny. One form of bigotry reinforces others. All misogynists are racists, all racists are fascists, and so forth. Ugh. It’s not a huge leap to go from “Women aren’t really people” to “Only white men are people.”
So, poking around a bit, it seems that ‘Acela Republicans’ is the new RINOs or something. It’s another iteration of ‘liberal out of touch coastal elites’, referring to the Acela Corridor, i.e. the places where Acela runs.
You heard it here first, folks! Apparently the mythical White Galt’s Gulch, our enemy’s territory, is named “bla bla bla blabbity blab blab bloo bloo”.
Curious. I would have thought it was called “Angry-La”.
Racists shouldn’t say “realtalk”
Duh duuuh! Duh duh duuuh!
@Francesca – I guffawed at your comment ?
@Citizen Rat
Oh, I always knew their territory was called ABLOOBLOOBLOO.
Its gleaming, pristine capital city of White Tearia is a centre of learning, knowledge, STEM, EVROPA MAXIMA CIVILIZATION, and sad boners.
@Dreemr
Why, thank you! That was rather what I was hoping for.
@Axe
Seriously, why do white racists like to do that shit?
Like the other one calling women ‘thots’, or when they say shit like SMH TBH FAM IT WAS LIT.
Did he write this while totally sleep deprived from doing a 6 movie Star Wars binge? (He won’t watch the new ones, obviously, because they promote White Genocide.)
@Viscaria
http://yourfavistrans.tumblr.com
New headcanon: Finn is a FtM transman, Rey is a MtF transwoman, and they go on to get married later in the series.
If J.J. Abrams had the grit Goddess gave an ant he would do this, but he’s scared of people and isn’t like the Wachowskis so bluhhhhhhhhh.
That would be fricking glorious. Having trans people star in a story that isn’t about their transness? Fuck yes.
@Fran
Also I think he’s kind of an asshole in general, but I may be thinking of someone else.
@Francesca Torpedo
Well, I believe the progression goes like this:
He’s figured out all the SICK HACKZ to get the women! > he gets laid (maybe…) but has trouble finding any long-term relationships, let alone a woman willing to marry him > this cannot possibly be because of the awful personality he has cultivated for himself; it must be a problem with all the women he’s trying to date > ergo, it is a systemic problem in white society > but he is white, and he is perfect, so obviously white men are naturally perfect and the problem is coming from outside attackers > who wants to attack white society? Obviously the [jews/sh*tlibs/communists/whatever boogeyman white supremacists are afraid of this week]!!
@Francesca
My headcanon was always Finn and Poe as a couple, and Rey being ace, but now I think I’ll turn your headcanon into an AU!
@Dalillama
No, he is kind of an asshole, from what I have gathered of him as someone who’s been following his creative output since Lost. I’m a generally nice person and tend to give people more chances than I should, so I was valiantly overlooking it as hard as I possibly could. I’m not going to contradict you on your analysis, though, that’s for sure.
I hate this word ‘behooves’. Dont know what it means, don’t want to know- only this moron and people like davis aurini i ever see using it. Probably trying to sound smart. But to be true, Hartiste is even hard to understand than Aurini, because he trying so hard to sound smart. I thought first when i read it said ‘with delusion of literacy’. Maybe this also true?
Also edit – what did J J Abrams do to be an asshole?
@Dalillama
There’s so many to choose from – you may need to narrow that down for us a bit 😉
Jokes aside though, what in particular about Abrams gets up your nose? I’ve always thought he was one of the better ones of the Hollywood directors/writers. I realize I may not like the answer, but please go ahead – better to know than not know!
@Citizen
This forever!!!!1!!!! Everyone’s canons are valid ofc, but yesssss! Walked outta the theater so hype for this ?
Back to thinking about that TMBG song again.
I guess I always knew eventually I’d come across worse psychosexual writing than the preface to ‘Blood and Roses’, but why here? Why now?
And because pain must be shared…
Best used as a drinking game, much like the idiot quoted above.
@Valentine
NOOOOO! Nonononono! Please don’t feel that way about ‘behooves’ – it’s a wonderful word which I use quite a bit and not at all something only used by douchecanoes to sound smart, I promise!
It’s meaning is somewhat like noblesse oblige – basically, it indicates an expectation of behavior and/or actions that are right and proper for a person’s situation. E.g. As a teacher, it behooves me to treat my students with courtesy and respect. Or, it behooves law enforcement officers to treat everyone fairly and without bias.
Please, please don’t let these arseholes have this word – they don’t deserve it (and they’re not even using it correctly!)