UPDATE: The lawsuit has been dropped! Details at the end of the post.
A brave hero in Austin Texas has taken his fight against the evils of misandry to the courts, filing a suit against a woman who skipped out on a date with him after he criticized what he saw as her excessive texting.
He is asking for S17.31 in damages, the cost of a ticket to a showing of the 3-D version of Guardians of the Galaxy 2: Galactic Boogaloo, or whatever it’s called, I don’t have time for fact checking.
Let’s go to KVUE.com to hear his side of the story:
Brandon Vezmar met the Round Rock woman on Bumble, a dating app. They went on a first date to a movie theater to see “Guardians of the Galaxy.” During the movie, Vezmar claims that she opened her phone between 10 and 20 times to read and send text messages.
This, Vezmar claims, is in “direct violation of the theater’s police” and adversely affected “the viewing experience of Plaintiff and others.”
“I said ‘listen, your texting is driving me a little nuts’ and she said ‘I can’t not text my friend.’ I said ‘maybe you can take it outside to the lobby, I’ve seen people get kicked out movies for this,” Vezmar explained.
The woman took his advice and left the theater, but did not come back.
According to Vezmer, he is less interested in getting his 17 bucks back than he is in the “principle” at stake here, “as Defendant’s behavior is a threat to civilized society.” He thinks her behavior represented some sort of civilization-threatening abdication of “personal responsibility.”
Needless to say, the woman’s version of events is a little different. She told KVUE she deserted her date because he was creeping her the hell out. And he still is.
I did have a very brief date with Brandon, that I chose to end prematurely. His behavior made me extremely uncomfortable, and I felt I needed to remove myself from the situation for my own safety. He has escalated the situation far past what any mentally healthy person would. I feel sorry that I hurt his feelings badly enough that he felt he needed to commit so much time and effort into seeking revenge. I hope one day he can move past this and find peace in his life.
Somehow I don’t think that will ever happen. Especially since this may be Vezmer’s last date for a very long time.
Check out the video on KVUE.com to see the literally neckbearded (not that there’s anything wrong with that) Vezmer explain his crusade in a little more detail. The odds that he’s a Redditor seem extremely high.
UPDATE: Check out this interview, where he explains how he’s fighting for men who are being “exploited” by women on dates. The article makes even more clear what a creepy stalker he is.
UPDATE 2: The lawsuit has been dropped! She basically paid him off so he’d leave her alone. Here’s the AV Club on how this all shook out:
We’re saved everyone: By Inside Edition, of all things. Apparently as sick of this story as the rest of us, IE set up a meeting between Vezmar and his date, so that she could give him the $17.31 back. In return, she asked for him to please god, “just leave this alone.” Vezmar carefully counted out all the money, and agreed to drop his lawsuit. We’d like to say that this will be the last we hear of this, but we would undoubtedly be wrong.
H/T — @RemingtonWild and @ami_angelwings on Twitter
In this case, it isn’t very much money. But what if it was? What if you went to a very fancy dinner and very fancy wine was ordered, and your half of the bill came to much more? Do you still slap down that amount of money on the table, to avoid looking ‘greedy and undignified’?
Nope. To quote My Favourite Murder, Fuck Politeness. Get out of there, protect yourself, and let the creeper take the financial hit.
Etiquette is a great way to control people, and to force them into restrictive societal roles. Just because this was said in the 50s does not mean that it is still relevant or applicable today. Or that it ever was. Where were (presumed white, middle class) women getting all of this money to slap down on the table, back when they didn’t really work?
Kimstu: What you’re forgetting here is that she did not, in fact, get a free movie out of this experience. Rather, when he demanded she go to the lobby, she did, and immediately followed that up by continuing to walk all the way to her car. She is thus not obligated, even by social convention, to repay him for the date. (If she wanted to point out how petty he was being, she might want to offer to give him the $4 he spent on food [wait, four bucks? You can’t get movie popcorn and a drink for 4 bucks…].)
What I suspect, by the way, given the posters who’ve talked about the Alamo Drafthouse’s policies, is that she was texting BEFORE the movie started, during the pre-preview ads, possibly. In all likelihood, given the unpleasant vibe she said was getting, it was to avoid having to talk to him too much.
So he tells her to put it away as a controlling gesture, and then tells her to go to the lobby until she’s done, like he’s her father putting her in the corner. She just retained her momentum.
This ettiquette bullshit is bullshit, period
But it does remind me of an amazing scene from A Bronx Tale:
At Alamo Drafthouse (AD), $13 pizza is on the menu, but yeah, $4 is likely “frozen pizza at her place”. $7.50 for “Bottomless Popcorn” (clarified butter free, $1 for parmesan) and $4.50 for “Bottomless Drink”. But damn, if you’re going to AD for popcorn, you’re doing it wrong.
Exactly, JS. Why get just popcorn at AD when you can get a meal?
ETA: For folks who haven’t heard of Alamo Drafthouse before now, would you rather have just popcorn, or a feast during a mighty movie marathon?
https://drafthouse.com/show/lord-of-the-rings-trilogy-hobbit-feast
And 17 bucks for AD is actually kinda cheap too bc of alllllll the food. He should feel lucky that that’s all he spent!
Getting pretty jealous of this swanky movie theatre, I’m not going to lie.
@Kimstu
Well, there’s our fundamental disagreement: I am greedy and undignified, so I see no problem with that.
Seriously though, I get where you’re coming from, but I don’t agree that it’s always the best move.
They’re expanding across the country, Viscaria. Kinda like how Verts is spreading beyond Texas. Some day you, too, could enjoy the awesome.
Not necessarily…You don’t have to be a member to buy a couple slices and a drink at the Costco food court (those are normally just outside the warehouse entrance and all that’s required is a little money if you want to eat there.)
If he’d eaten frozen pizza at her place wouldn’t have had to know the address to get there/be dropped off at?
He’s an idiot, the legal system – even small claims – isn’t there for people to play like they’re on Judge Judy or the peoples court. Tracking down the address of the person who clearly wasn’t all that into continuing a date if they simply left instead of returning post-texting from the lobby of the movie theaters. And the press shouldn’t be encouraging anyone like this guy, applicable to all humans of course because that’s a fair policy.
Starting to sound like the ‘VIP Cinemas’ here in Canada:
http://www.cineplex.com/Theatres/VIP
Facilities have liquor licences, big screens (though not IMAX), and full in-seat dining. For $50 on Wednesdays you can get two adult tickets and two meals, though the name is… unfortunate, particularly given the current discussion.
@Victorious Parasol and Jenora Feuer
Alas, I am in Canada, and alas, there are no Cineplex VIPs in Calgary. (How come Edmonton gets one?? Rude.) I guess it’s just as well, since that’s more money than I ought to be spending these days.
Most AD’s also have liquor licenses. A glass of wine is only 50 cents more than bottomless popcorn. Recent Menu
Anyone purchasing popcorn there will definitely get a movie quote from me if I’m nearby. “He chose poorly”
@JS
Speaking as someone who’s genetically predisposed to alcoholism…and a minor…popcorn, please.
*narf arf arf*
@Vicky P
Sounds like the McMenamin’s theaters here in Oregon.
@Rhuu:
Yup. This is yet another reason never to go out on a date where you’re depending on a stranger/acquaintance to cover you financially on something that you can’t afford for yourself. It just gives the stranger/acquaintance too much power in the situation.
Sure, looking somewhat greedy and undignified by not repaying a horrible creep for the money he spent on you is way, WAY better than allowing the horrible creep to pressure you into doing something you don’t want because he spent money on you. That’s not in dispute. But the best way is to look independent and dignified by refusing to accept any kind of financial benefit whatever from someone who turns out to be a horrible creep.
Let’s try and clarify things a bit. Do you really think she should have to pay him for this “date”? Do you think she couldn’t actually afford to go to the theater? Are you saying, “Hey, she should have immediately paid him before she left”?
I’m not sure I understand.
@cornychips:
In this case, not paying him is not in any way “keeping herself away from” this dude. He knows who she is, he knows how to contact her. Avoiding this repayment isn’t a safety issue.
Of course not, but it’s also not a job (not in this case, at least). The ticket he bought for her wasn’t payment for her putting up with his creepitude. It was supposed to be a minor financial favor from someone she thought was a decent enough human being to go on a date with.
Now that it’s been made abundantly clear that he’s not a decent human being, she should make it abundantly clear that he doesn’t deserve the honor of her accepting any financial favors at his hands. By refusing to accept his spending any money on her.
It’s the exact opposite of “woman being nice”. It’s “woman disdainfully making it clear that horrible creep does not deserve the privilege of having paid for her movie ticket”.
A lot of posters here seem to misunderstand the etiquette principle involved. It’s not “if he didn’t enjoy himself then she owes him his money back”. Rather, it’s “if he’s a horrible creep then she should retroactively disqualify him from the category of people who are decent enough to accept even a trivial favor from”, by paying for the expenses of her own entertainment (even though it turned out in the end not to be very entertaining at all).
Letting horrible creeps spend money on you and then complain about the expense isn’t punishing them. It’s punishing you, by making you look like someone who’s willing to accept financial compensation for putting up with horrible creeps.
@Victorious Parasol
Also reminds me a lot of the Cinema Cafe where I live. Which is awesome.
@Kimstu
Yeah, no. If we didn’t agree to go dutch, the only way I’m giving the money back is if I seriously fear stalking and harassment if I don’t. The rules are: The person who asks pays regardless of the date’s outcome. If the person who asks can’t afford it, then the person who asks should pick a date plan they actually can afford – and the person who is asked should be gracious enough not to be classist about the date environment.
If we allow the person who asks to get their money back if they didn’t enjoy the date, we specifically set up the person who is asked as being responsible for showing the asker a good time…even though being the asker is asking for the opportunity to show the asked a good time. That, and it’s normal to have some dates where you just don’t click.
RE: Concept of being indebted to a creep
The concept of debt is more than a little icky, just in general. It’s not something I approve of. If someone needs help, you help them. If you need help, they help you. Stop this “I owe” business.
@JS: Let’s try and clarify things a bit. Do you really think she should have to pay him for this “date”?
Well, it’s either that or look as though she still thinks he’s good enough to deserve the privilege of having spent some money on her. Personally, I think she should make it totally clear that he definitely isn’t, by paying him back for what he spent.
@JS: Do you think she couldn’t actually afford to go to the theater?
No. You may have mixed up this movie situation, which is what actually happened, with the hypothetical that @Rhuu suggested where the date is at some super-expensive restaurant, which is what I was responding to in that particular post.
@JS: Are you saying, “Hey, she should have immediately paid him before she left”?
Not if he wasn’t being a horrible creep at that time. But as soon as he indicated in any way that he resented having spent money on her for the date? That immediately puts him in Horrible Creep territory, at which point she should have retroactively rejected his taking her out at his expense.
Somebody who’s incapable of appreciating a privilege (e.g., being allowed to pay somebody else’s way on a date), and is crass enough to complain about the expense of that privilege, deserves to lose that privilege, and fast.
If it was me, I’d offer him $50 but he’d have to agree to STFU in writing and drop his ‘lawsuit’ and any statement to any media outlet or individual can only consist of “The matter has been settled to the satisfaction of both parties.”
@IgnoreSandra:
But I specifically said that that’s not what this is about. What it’s about is not letting the person have the privilege of providing their date with a financial benefit if the person turns out to be a horrible creep.
@IgnoreSandra:
The same etiquette system that upholds that rule also upholds the concurrent rule that a person who is rude enough to complain about paying for a date they requested immediately loses the privilege of paying for their date’s expenses. Along with any shred of respect or liking that their date may formerly have had for them, and any chance they may conceivably have had of ever going out with that date again.
@Vicky + Dali
Sounds like Movie Tavern. Got one sorta near me (tho not on any bus route, grr). Never had anything but twizzlers and popcorn there, cos I’m not made of money. But a feast does sound lovely. Should try it at least once 🙂
@Hambeast
You are generous. I think at this point I’d insist on restitution from him for being a dick and wasting both mine and the legal system’s time. But then I’m not the woman being harassed by this creep. I think if I was being targeted for internet harassment, my perspective might be different.
@Kimstu
Well if you read the update, the scared and creeped out woman paid the guy to leave her alone. That’ll teach him! And thank goodness she doesn’t look “greedy and undignified” in your eyes!
Oh, goody. Brandon is from my hometown.
Hammond, represent.
Fuck.