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Men’s Rights Hero of the Day: The dude suing a woman for $17 for texting during a date

Not all dates go perfectly

UPDATE: The lawsuit has been dropped! Details at the end of the post. 

A brave hero in Austin Texas has taken his fight against the evils of misandry to the courts, filing a suit against a woman who skipped out on a date with him after he criticized what he saw as her excessive texting.

He is asking for S17.31 in damages, the cost of a ticket to a showing of the 3-D version of Guardians of the Galaxy 2: Galactic Boogaloo, or whatever it’s called, I don’t have time for fact checking.

Let’s go to KVUE.com to hear his side of the story:

Brandon Vezmar met the Round Rock woman on Bumble, a dating app. They went on a first date to a movie theater to see “Guardians of the Galaxy.” During the movie, Vezmar claims that she opened her phone between 10 and 20 times to read and send text messages.

This, Vezmar claims, is in “direct violation of the theater’s police” and adversely affected “the viewing experience of Plaintiff and others.”

“I said ‘listen, your texting is driving me a little nuts’ and she said ‘I can’t not text my friend.’ I said ‘maybe you can take it outside to the lobby, I’ve seen people get kicked out movies for this,” Vezmar explained.

The woman took his advice and left the theater, but did not come back.

According to Vezmer, he is less interested in getting his 17 bucks back than he is in the “principle” at stake here, “as Defendant’s behavior is a threat to civilized society.” He thinks her behavior represented some sort of civilization-threatening abdication of “personal responsibility.”

Needless to say, the woman’s version of events is a little different. She told KVUE she deserted her date because he was creeping her the hell out. And he still is.

I did have a very brief date with Brandon, that I chose to end prematurely. His behavior made me extremely uncomfortable, and I felt I needed to remove myself from the situation for my own safety. He has escalated the situation far past what any mentally healthy person would. I feel sorry that I hurt his feelings badly enough that he felt he needed to commit so much time and effort into seeking revenge. I hope one day he can move past this and find peace in his life.

Somehow I don’t think that will ever happen. Especially since this may be Vezmer’s last date for a very long time.

Check out the video on KVUE.com to see the literally neckbearded (not that there’s anything wrong with that) Vezmer explain his crusade in a little more detail. The odds that he’s a Redditor seem extremely high.

UPDATE: Check out this interview, where he explains how he’s fighting for men who are being “exploited” by women on dates. The article makes even more clear what a creepy stalker he is.

UPDATE 2: The lawsuit has been dropped! She basically paid him off so he’d leave her alone. Here’s the AV Club on how this all shook out:

We’re saved everyone: By Inside Edition, of all things. Apparently as sick of this story as the rest of us, IE set up a meeting between Vezmar and his date, so that she could give him the $17.31 back. In return, she asked for him to please god, “just leave this alone.” Vezmar carefully counted out all the money, and agreed to drop his lawsuit. We’d like to say that this will be the last we hear of this, but we would undoubtedly be wrong.

H/T — @RemingtonWild  and @ami_angelwings on Twitter

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Jenora Feuer
Jenora Feuer
7 years ago

Yeah. As others have noted, really, the point of manners is as a social lubricant. It’s supposed to make things easier. Letting the door close in somebody’s face is rude. Ignoring people who have helped you is rude.

Trying to belittle somebody else over their manners is far more rude, though.

(Of course, as with fashion and anything else social, people can and will co-opt it as a way to exclude others. That doesn’t make it less rude.)

Feline
Feline
7 years ago

@Kimstu:

The problem is the fact that in that situation the asshole-tax collector, so to speak, is the one who gets the benefits (such as they are) from the asshole tax.

There’s your issue. It’s not a goddamned problem, you fuckhead!

You’ve built up this fantasy of how etiquette works in your head, and you start chastising strangers over how they don’t conform to your idiotic imaginary notions. That’s your fucking problem. Everybody gets to create fantasies in their heads, and they do, but your asshole problem is demanding people conform to your ignorant ideas about how people work.
Quit it.

Croquembouche, poorly-dressed vandal
Croquembouche, poorly-dressed vandal
7 years ago

The problem is the fact that in that situation the asshole-tax collector, so to speak, is the one who gets the benefits (such as they are) from the asshole tax.

I would like it to be known that I have gone out and bought a cake, and had it iced with the name Kimstu. Then I have pissed all over that cake. Kind of an asshole thing to do, I know.
Clearly, the appropriate way for me to be disdainfully punished is for Kimstu to either gratefully carry that cake away, or reimburse me the money I paid for it. Otherwise, Kimstu is a greedy, undignified collector of asshole tax.

Kimstu
Kimstu
7 years ago

@Feline:

@Kimstu:

The problem is the fact that in that situation the asshole-tax collector, so to speak, is the one who gets the benefits (such as they are) from the asshole tax.

There’s your issue. It’s not a goddamned problem, you fuckhead!

Yes, I think it is. Because it puts them in the somewhat false and unpleasant position of having accepted a material benefit given to them by an asshole, under false pretenses.

It seems to me (and of course I’m not saying that anybody else has to agree with me about this; we’re all just stating our own views, after all) that accepting a present or favor from somebody implies that you have at least some respect for them and appreciate their generosity towards you. If you then find out that they’re an asshole who doesn’t deserve your respect and they weren’t actually being generous at all, then returning/refunding what you accepted sends the message that you’re rejecting that whole apparently gracious interaction as a despicable lie. (And rightly so.)

If you’re still willing to hang on to the benefit you accepted from the asshole back before you realized they were an asshole, I don’t think that sends quite the same message.

(I should emphasize again, though, and I feel bad that I definitely didn’t make this clear enough initially, that of course this or any other etiquette consideration has to take a back seat to maintaining one’s physical safety.)

@Feline:

That’s your fucking problem. […]
Quit it.

Like I said, if you don’t want to argue this issue with me, I’m happy to not continue arguing with you. And if you want to yell and curse at me, feel free; I don’t mind other people yelling and cursing though mostly I don’t like it for myself.

But continuing to argue with me, by directly addressing your remarks to me and replying to what I said, is not the way to get me to stop arguing with you. And yelling and cursing at me is not the way to convince me that you’re right and I’m wrong.

JS
JS
7 years ago

@KS

At this point, arguing with you wouldn’t convince you of anything. You are too invested in taking this etiquette and required “niceness” position to be interested in rational arguments. Your points are repetitive and have been addressed already by many people here.

You keep saying the same thing over and over. Your arguments are redundant.

You are a troll, one of the signs is a failure to recognize that trolling is not useful to anyone here except maybe you. If you’re honest with yourself, you’d realize it’s not helping you either.

Catalpa
Catalpa
7 years ago

Well if you read the update, the scared and creeped out woman paid the guy

Good for her!

“Hey, did you hear? Some asshole threatened a woman with legal action and doxxing if she wouldn’t adopt a dog. She ended up adopting the dog.”

“Good for her! Dogs are wonderful companion animals and I’m sure she will be very happy with her choice! :)”

The problem here is this was not her choice, this was something she was fucking THREATENED into doing. It might be something that you view as a ‘good’ thing to do, but the fact that she was coerced into it makes it really fucking gross. Now kindly buzz off.

Kimstu
Kimstu
7 years ago

@JS:

@KS

At this point, arguing with you wouldn’t convince you of anything.

Well, if that’s what you think, then definitely feel free not to go on arguing with me.

Or else just come right out and say, “@Kimstu, I want to go on directly addressing you in my posts and criticizing and complaining about the things you say, but I don’t want you to say anything to me in return”. I admit that approach seems a bit strange to me, but I’m happy to go along with it.

IgnoreSandra
IgnoreSandra
7 years ago

@Catalpa
Made this point myself earlier, though you are much more succinct. Troll ignored it – most trolls ignore being proven wrong. ill see if i can dredge up and repost what i said on this matter.

I said, in response to the “Good for her!” gloating over some woman being abused and terrorized:

Fuck. You. Seriously. Fuck you. A terrified woman being creeped out and forced to bow before some shithead’s ego due to fear of internet harassment is never anything to be happy about. This isn’t a fucking Jane Austen novel, we don’t live in a world of ritualized etiquette engrained into all of us since childhood.

I am seriously angry enough that I can’t articulate just how much disgust I have for the way you’ve responded to this woman doing what she had to do to be safe.

Kimstu: I’m absolutely not gloating about her being forced to do anything.

You absolutely are. You are gloating over her doing things your way, calling such things “The” right thing to do. And since she did it because she’s under threat of harassment, doxing, and violence, she was effectively forced to do it that way instead of standing up for herself in the way she had decided was best. Oh, but it’s not standing up for yourself unless it’s your way, is it? How dreadfully disenfranchising of you, as if you can decide that someone else’s choice is invalid just because you wouldn’t do the same in her shoes.

At which point, this asshole decided to ignore me and continue to try and deflect using pretty-sounding words instead of engage with being called out. I may have been sarcastic, but the point is still super fucking clear.

IgnoreSandra
IgnoreSandra
7 years ago

@Hambeast

Oh, nothing to do with generosity! Offering the guy $50 for his silence would be about being able to imagine him trying not to explode while not being able to crow on social or popular media about his big manure-o-sphere-style “win.”

LOL. Okay, you got me. That’s pretty funny 🙂 I totally approve of this now – on condition of his silence on the matter, and with a very large penalty if he breaks it.

@Rhuu

It is what disadvantaged people have to worry about every time an interaction goes south.

Yeah. What you said is what goes through my mind every single time. As I said a few pages ago, etiquette is irrelevant when safety is a factor.

@Cornychips
I’m so sorry these people treated you that way. You deserve so much better.

@Feline
I think I might be in love, or at least very deep temporary appreciation <3

PeeVee the (Timber-Rattling Booger Slut, But Noice) Sarcastic
PeeVee the (Timber-Rattling Booger Slut, But Noice) Sarcastic
7 years ago

Kimstu, at this point you are arguing just to argue.

There is no valor in continuing to argue a point when 1) your posts have been repeatedly refuted, and 2) you have been asked multiple times to knock it the fuck off, already, especially since your “defense” is to continue because people @Kimstu you when asking you to knock it the fuck off.

At this point, you have crossed the line from “debate” and placed yourself firmly into the “asshole” category.

So, kindly stop it. Just stop it. You are really starting to appear almost vindictive and extremely petty at this point. And just as it wasn’t a good look for Brandon, it signals your own intent, whether you are aware of it, or not.

Kimstu
Kimstu
7 years ago

@PeeVee:

Kimstu […]

So, kindly stop it. Just stop it.

Thanks @PeeVee, I have added you to the list of the “Hey @Kimstu, pay attention, I’m talking to you! Shut up and don’t reply to me!” brigade.

nparker
nparker
7 years ago

Goodness, I read this thread with just a few comments, and now we get a sealioning concern troll repeating bullshit like a common strong and stable Teresa May.

This Dat’spu guy literally is putting all the responsibility for this situation on her. It is classic victim blaming very thinly disguised. He also does it when he blames people here for the trolling he has been doing. This is a person who wants everyone to know that all men, even the men he doesn’t like, should not get any responsibility for situations like these ones.

I’d like to do a longer analysis of this guy, but it is 2 in the morning and Ive got to wake at 9 if I want a McDonalds McMuffin breakfast, which is not exactly relevant. Perhaps I’ll consider it a full-blown return to WHTM rather than the bits and bobs comments I’ve been making. Not that anyone probably remembers me being frequent in the first place!

Catpu, if you are still reading this, don’t.

Catalpa
Catalpa
7 years ago

@IgnoreSandra

At which point, this asshole decided to ignore me and continue to try and deflect using pretty-sounding words instead of engage with being called out. I may have been sarcastic, but the point is still super fucking clear.

Hey, looks like the troll is gonna do the same thing to me! I don’t even get a “you’re telling me to go away but also you’re arguing with me, therefore I’m going to ignore both of those things!” reply.

So sad. Oh, well. At least I’m in good company.

nparker
nparker
7 years ago

…aaaaand it looks as if Kimspudoo saw the words ‘vindictive’ and ‘extremely petty’ in Peevee’s post and decided to kick it up a notch or two.

I have a small feeling that WHTM has had this particular person before. I can’t quite put a finger on which previous troll they sound like, and they referred to ‘many years’ of reading this site, so I do wonder.

Alan Robertshaw
Alan Robertshaw
7 years ago

@ nparker

Not that anyone probably remembers me being frequent in the first place!

I certainly do. Be lovely to have you back full time. I seem to recall we share similar tastes in relation to Dr Who too.

@ generally

Is anyone else sort of on the sealions’s side in that original cartoon? In all fairness, the woman announces a fairly sketchy attitude to the public at large. I think the sealion is both entitled to ask for an explanation and to put her on the spot a bit.

PeeVee the (Timber-Rattling Booger Slut, But Noice) Sarcastic
PeeVee the (Timber-Rattling Booger Slut, But Noice) Sarcastic
7 years ago

Kitsu, if you were actually paying attention, you would have shut the fuck up by now.

cornychips
cornychips
7 years ago

Kimstu KNOWS this is a feminist blog.
Kimstu more than likely knows about certain feminist issues ie not catering to men’s fees fees and pretending to be nice all the damn time.
And yet, kimstu just can’t understand why we keep yammering about a woman trying to protect herself. That’s the point!

But I get kimstu. Zie dont care about women. Zie cares about WOMEN FOLLOWING RULES

I’m sure you keep getting some creepy Serena Joy pleasure by trying to rattle our cages. They can be a martyr for etiquette and forcing women into submissive roles. Kimstu is mockingly transparent now.

I can see it now “hey guise! Mammotheers argued with me! And there was foul language! Oh heavens. Won’t some one think of the etiquette!!!! I’m so civilized. So dignified.”

IgnoreSandra
IgnoreSandra
7 years ago

@Alan Robertshaw
I see the sea lion’s point, except for when it’s in her house. Plus, it’s not like one woman going “I don’t like sea lions” is any threat to the existence of sea lions.

Alan Robertshaw
Alan Robertshaw
7 years ago

@ ignoresandra

it’s not like one woman going “I don’t like sea lions” is any threat to the existence of sea lions.

I’m not so sure about that. It’s that whole ‘normalising’ thing. It’s what we call here the ‘dinner party test’. That’s shorthand for what subjects and attitudes are acceptable in society. And not only do her actions embolden other sealion haters, there’s a danger that as that view becomes acceptable there’s pressure on people who don’t have an issue with sealions to pretend they do to conform.

But admittedly even so he probably shouldn’t break into people’s houses at night.

weirwoodtreehugger: chief manatee
weirwoodtreehugger: chief manatee
7 years ago

Oh. A Doctor Who derail? What do people think of Bill so far? It’s early in her run but I’m liking her as of now.

Hypatia's Daughter
Hypatia's Daughter
7 years ago

Alan Robertshaw

Is anyone else sort of on the sealions’s side in that original cartoon? In all fairness, the woman announces a fairly sketchy attitude to the public at large. I think the sealion is both entitled to ask for an explanation and to put her on the spot a bit.

And, after her initial comment, the sealion promptly proceeds to demonstrate why she made the initial comment.

Schnookums Von Fancypants, GloboThermoNuclearHomo
Schnookums Von Fancypants, GloboThermoNuclearHomo
7 years ago

Ugh, just came back from File770 and the amount of desperate grossness with people trying to make this a shared blame thing between her and him…

“Oh, we don’t know ALL the details…”

The man, at greater cost then he could hope to recover, sued over a date gone wrong. THAT’S ALL THE FUCKING CONTEXT YOU NEED>

Alan Robertshaw
Alan Robertshaw
7 years ago

What do people think of Bill so far?

Really good. Shaping up to be a classic companion. The writing of the character seems pitched just right. Avoids the slight Mary Sue tendencies of later Clara and the somewhat implausible fawning of Martha. Great actor, so likeable and very natural and believable. But strong enough to hold her own against (the excellent) Peter Capaldi; which is what he needs. Good actors need to be with performers of equal ability and calibre to bring the best out of them.

And she passes the ‘you could imagine having a beer with them’ test with flying colours.

Troubelle: Moonbeam Malcontent + Bard of the New Movement
Troubelle: Moonbeam Malcontent + Bard of the New Movement
7 years ago

Guys, can we make, like, a David-beacon to call David down here to get Kimstu outta here?